Drive, look up Jay Gordon on nightweaning. I didn't use it personally but it was popular with a lot of my friends who still breastfed at that age :)
I think that facebook post is partly true, but partly bollocks, BTW 
Honestly. It's true to an extreme - that if you totally disrespect your children as people, they aren't likely to have much respect for you. But although logic would make you assume the opposite is true, it's not. Being always respectful and nice and listening and making time for them does not magically make them respectful and reasonable and listen to everything that you say in return. I kept buying into this myth and thinking that every time I had problems with DS it was because I wasn't giving him enough time or attention or, yep, being "present and available" as you say. So instead of working out what the problem was (usually lack of communication, which includes the very important, clear communication of boundaries, and sometimes just developmental!) I kept beating myself up and trying to achieve the impossible of being 100% present, 100% available, 100% perfect - just no. It's not realistic and even if it were, it's not an enjoyable existence. How can you be a good parent when you're finding it tough to even just have fun? I kept going around and around in those circles and feeling shit and all the time I was trying to fix it in the wrong way and ended up having less fun, shouting more and I think that our relationship suffered as a result.
And I REFUSE to feel guilty about it any more, because you know, if you've got into a rut it IS temporary, and you CAN get the relationship back but you have to actually be honest with yourself about the parent you are and not try to achieve some lofty impossible aim and then get stuck in a cycle of guilt and handwringing over it. I don't try to be a great, 8/10 parent any more and end up being about 2/10, I try not to be a terrible one and somehow I end up about 4.5/10 - far off perfect but much better than before.
Under fives are really hard. If you have facebook, I can recommend one thing to you immediately which is to go and follow Andrea Nair. She's along the same lines as Laura Markham in approach, but she is not and doesn't pretend to be some kind of serene floating parenting goddess who has never even said "no" to her children. Scary Mommy is also good for a laugh but encompasses a huge range of parenting ideologies and might be controversial. Finding Joy is a page which is lovely but emotionally heavy if you're struggling within yourself - I relate to her posts a lot. All of these are also blogs with normal addresses and RSS feeds/email alerts if you're not into facebook.
The second thing you can do without any kind of preparation or learning is that every day at bedtime or after, if you struggle with bedtimes, is that you write down one thing you enjoyed doing with your children or which went well, made you feel in control, etc. Over time you'll notice a pattern and also looking for the positive helps you to focus on that and not on what went wrong or how terrible you're doing.
Much of the early years are about survival, so if you need to do some "less good" things in order to prevent you from hitting the "terrible" point, do it. No use making life harder for yourself!