I can't take this anymore...........

[emmatmg]

I have just lost it BIGTIME with DS1 and I simply can not see away through the shit I have to put up with everyday.
He never listens to me, and unless I shout he'll carry on ignoring me. If I'm trying to talk to him about why I'm cross with him for whatever reason he laughs at me. Yes you did read that right he laughs at me......in my face virtually.
I've tried talking to him, asking nicely, praising him, begging him(!) rewarding him, star charts, one to one time,........pretty much everything and I know it's not the answer but smacking him too.

I was cleaning his teeth and he always complains regardless of how I do it but as he needs a filling I have to do well before it get worse before the appointment. Anyway he complained on and on and I tried to tell him again how important it was because of his filling, same as I did this morning, last night, yesterday morning( you getthe idea) and was getting increasing ly annoyed about him whinging and me having to say it all again and he starts sniggering and giggling at me. Believe me this was just the pinacle of a totally shit day that started at 6:00am and I'd really reached the end of my tether.
When I say lost it I really mean it. I was screaming like a banshee at him, REALLY screaming that I can't do this anymore, and I honestly feel like I can't. I just don't know what else to do. I hate it whe he laughs at me, it drives me absolutley insane with rage, I hate shouting all the time, I hate the constant noise that we all make trying to get through the latest 'incident' and I hate the fact that I am getting to the stage where I can't be bothered to be nice anymore.

I feel like I'm becoming invisible in this house and I have no idea how I can gain some respect from him. He would never do behave like this for anyone else, it's just me. Everytime I shout I think what a horrid memory he's going to have of me when he's older and that just kills me but then the behaviour continues and the shouting starts again.

I've sat here for about 40 minutes trying to do this and I still can't get the words right. I think I'm ranting more than asking for advise to excuse my drivvel.

get a glass of wine!!!!! send him to bed.

How old is he

do you have anyone else with you to help?

wow- thanks for your honesty... I have been there with dd1- sometimes I really have to leave the room as I am SO angry.
I worry about my reactions- and with certain kids they pick up on your weaknesses - guess it gives them a sense of power.
Not the best to give advice really- but heres my t'penneth....
Don't show him that he is getting to you.... (it's a power trip thing)
Seek some advice about Why he's making you feel this way - with me it all stems back to childhood/siblings/mother etc etc... counselling may help.
Good luck- and don;t worry (ha!) at least you have MN!

He'5, in bed and I don't drink.

thanks anyway.

DH works shifts so yes i do have someone here but not always.

emmatmg - sounds like you need a glass of wine.

could you call his bluff, if he laughs laugh too, not in a nasty way, when he's winging starting singing, try to give him the message that it's not bothering you, even when he is really getting to you

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Mummysurfer, honestly I have tried everything. I asked him not to laugh, I've ignored it and my god is that difficult, I've walked away and I've shouted, I've laughed too which Okay defuses the situation but the issue is still there as I'm in the middle of telling him off so whatever i'm telling him off about doesn't go away with the laughing IYSWIM.

Tonight ladies if there was wine in the house I would drink it.All of it!

harman, you don't know how relieved I am to read your post.

Sorry I hope you understand what I mean Harmen, That i'm not the only one feeling like the worst mother ever to walk this earth.

Dino, I'm touched that you remembered I have 3 boys.

DS2 will be 3 on 19 June.

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Emma poor you. Have a hug. What age is he? DD went through a phase like this a while ago. (3.5yo). Could it be a phase?
Can remember vividly my mother slapping my face when I was 14 for laughing at her while she told me off. Can't believe I did it, and she can't believe she slapped me - but I bet I deserved it. Now I know how furious she felt - even tho' my dd is so much younger.
Don't know if dd just stopped being horrible or if anything I did actually made a difference (probably the former)but we seem to be out of that phase now.
When things were at their worst I tried to pick my arguments carefully, then if things were bad counted very loudly and slowly to 5, so if she hadn't done what I wanted by then I carried through threat - not to go swimming, or off to her bedroom (for 5 minutes), whatever. That still works very well - but don't use it too often and always carry through the threat.
At same time I tried hard to treat her as more grown up - e.g. let her make scones, set table etc. Also went totally over the top in praising her good behaviour and acted like a demanding little s**t myself if sho got too whingy (that did seem to get through to her).
p.s. thanks for your help yesterday - did another 2 ptests today: One positive, the other negative - so told my mother in no uncertain terms today not to tell sil with m/c I'm pregnant in case I have to tell her I'm not (which would be a bad situation for both of us). She admitted she would have told her - but think I've got through this time.

He's been fine and hasn't shown any jealousy at all.

The one thing he did do was refuse to feed himself when we're eating dinner so I'd be there with baby in arms eating my dinner onehanded and feeding him too........was quite a sight when i had a bottle for DS3 too, tuck it under your chin with babe in one arm, fork in other and feed DS2.

Another reason why i wish I was able to breast feed

last post was for Dino...........sorry to confuse.

Might take you up on that harmen.

Cab, what tests are you doing?

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Emma - did a Boots (positive) and a Clearblue (negative).