help

[DrinkUpThyZider]

My wife has just gone out. Leaving me in charge of our 2 1/2 year old girl and our 8 week old boy for the first time. My girl is in bed, although refusing to come down to deal with my present problem. My boy has just kicked the contents of his bath all over the kitchen, including his towel and pajamas. My problems are as follows.

1. I cant multitask
2. The kitchen is **d
3. The baby's clothes are all wet
4. So is his new nappy
5. which 'new' nappy do I use...The terry, the fitted toweling nappy,the pampers, or the green tushie thing
6. My beer is full of water....not too much of a problem as I have been in the pub all afternoon, and it was quite strong to start with.

So what do I need to do first, the baby is quite happy in the bath, and as he has kicked most of the water out of the bath, there is hardly any risk of drowning.. Do I go upsatairs for the new nappy( please recommend which type.) I think I could multitask for the first time in my life and get a new baby-grow (but what if I choose the wrong colour? - what colour is right anyway.

What about my beer, will it be ok with the dilution, do I need to go out and get another one? Do I need to get a babysitter etc. etc. aaargh.......advise please

Quite a serious situation. Tasks to be completed in the following order ...

1. Leave other child in bed - getting them up will only make things harder.
2. Get a new beer
3. Get baby out of bath, wrap in towel and take upstairs to the location of the nappy
4. Apply nappy - which ever you think is easiest (personally, in your situation I'd recommend the pampers
5. Put baby in new dry babygro - a colour that won't show up any spilt beer
6. Clear up wet items
7. Get another beer

Under NO circumstances leave baby in bath without being watched, even if it means carrying baby without being wrapped in a towel or going without a beer for 5 minutes.

8. Learn to multi task quickly.

Message withdrawn

sort the baby first

strip,dry,pampers nappy, new PJs, pit down, sort kitchen then drink some coffee. you've been at the pub all afternoon and are supposed to be responsible for your children while your wife is out

i'd phone your wife asap and tell her she's a c**p mother to leave a pillock like yourself in charge of anything.

baby is now dressed in a blue babygro, and his sisters old pink sleeping bag. Is that ok?
still haven't sorted out my beer problem... I cant multitask.. I live in the south west of England, can someone bring me a beer?

find an on-line beer delivery service!

baby is now asleep, his sister has woken up, saying she can smell damp. This is a new one on me...any help?

she is clearly far more on the ball than you. tell her to phone her mother.

Have you mopped the kitchen yet? And what do you think of kids doing PE in just vest and knickers?

dont confuse him cheery. it's quite clear he cant unitask let alone mutitask

You're faking it. You're pretending you can't cope so your lovely wife won't go out and leave you on your own again.

Don't fall for it Mrs DrinkUp.

Or maybe he's just having some MN fun? When the cat's away....

no haven't mopped the floor yet, i can only do one thing at once. Girl is now asleep - boy, however is now awake. Is this 'cos he is dressed in pink, he is usually such a good sleeper. Got to go need to cook wife's supper

let me guess, burnt toast?

So all this is going on and you find time to post it all

Actually quite chuffed coz I got to use !!!

But think the name is fab!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about not replying to the vest and knickers question, dare I say it I blame the old multitasking gene. When my wife left she mentioned something about beef wellington, does this take long, she will be back in a bit... nearly forgot...If their parents can't remember to send them to school with a PE kit...let them suffer

oh that's a doddle. first find a wellie...

pink wellie or green wellie?

any colour's fine. black is perhaps more classis / traditional...

many wellys avalable, mostly pink...is there a rare joke hidden in this?

lol. THis thread is reminding me of the hampster one!

Pink is fine.

Beef W doesn't take long, so long as it is already in the oven ready ... Suggest you swap for a tasty meal of Beans on Toast.

HAMSTER not hampster.

Second thoughts, suggest you order something delivered.

Little sister must be a highly intelligent creature to be able to smell water?