Toddler descriptions

[ByTheWishingWell]

DD is 20 months old. I'm finding her descriptions of things she doesn't recognise or have words for both adorable and very accurate. Highlights include the grippy spots on the bottom of the feet on her sleep suits being 'sparkly bubbles' and the piece of mustardy sandwich she stole from me tasting 'spiky'.

My absolute favourite though, came when we were out for a walk a couple of weeks ago and saw black lambs prancing around a field. I asked her is she knew what they were, she stared for a moment and happily announced they were dancing cats.

What have your toddlers come out with?

LOL@ inspected

We also have underbrellas to shelter us from the rain, and happycopters that hover in the sky.

Ds, nearly 8, still calls sweeping, 'brooming'

My older brother, back in the days of handkerchiefs, called them 'hunkofsheets'.

when DD2 was little we were getting changed for swimming. I was just climbing out of my pants when she shouted (loud enough for everyone to hear) "MUM! Why have you got a beard on your bottom?"

DD1 has taken to calling my breasts "your wobbles."

The stringy bits inside the skin of bananas were always in our house referred to as "bings" (the broad ones) and "zings" (the narrow ones). It's a terrible misfortune to inadvertently eat a bing.

One of mine calls peacocks (and emus, ostrich, basically any large flightless bird) "peapop".

Nitpick: peacocks aren't flightless. I've seen one fly. They don't fly very far or for very long, but they do fly.

We recently got a new car. DD (will be 3 in August) calls the dealership "the car store". So do we, now.

Rolls are "rolly bread".

DS3 has just come out with a corker!

He's playing with a little figure of The Riddler from Batman. He is holding a crook.

DS can't pronounce some letters (he's 3 as well as being my third!) and apparently Riddler is holding a 'rampage dick'!!! I think he means stick....

Just about died laughing!

DS's orange would contain 'vitamin seed', and his sunglasses were known as 'darks'. Pins and needles were 'poodles and noodles'!

Dawww "cuddle me bigly".

Love "boob glasses". That child is so right.

I still get teased about mine "hampoo" and "restronaut".
My DS is getting too big now at 4.
Favourites were "gabettes"= baguettes, "scamporter"= car transporter and "Farv" = Father Christmas. Also "meh" for dummy, pretty sure his first proper word was meh meh not mama!!!

We were out for a walk recently with DS, and he referred to the cracks in the dried muddy ground as 'line holes' which I thought was quite a comprehensive description!

At dd2's nursery they have been recently hatching eggs into chicks- they had to be kept warm in a dinkybator apparently.

Perhaps the most embarrassing was her announcing they were drinking 'daddy milk' at school. Dh used to for the dairy company who provided the school milk.

work

Yey, another carrot cheese family.

My DS used to get frustrated when he couldn't get out of his car seat so he used to demand 'clip me undone'

We now have a "mentalpiece" instead of a mantelpiece and the remote control will forever be know as the "fat controller"

DS is currently very much into signs. He saw a bin with a sign on it - a dog with a cross through it (to indicate no dog poo) - he proclaimed delightedly that this sign meant "Don't put your doggy in the bin!"

He also found the weight warning sign on his car seat, showing a large child in the seat with a cross through it. Cue a shout of "It says NO FAT BOYS in this seat"

Oh and 'dalek bread'

When DS1 was little, he had loads.

He was into Vikings and 'Viqueens'.
He had a toy bow and arrow - except his bow was his 'bowen'.
Green beans were 'long peas'.

Aw bless him. He's revising for his physics GCSE now. Where does the time go?

My daughter often "togot" what she was about to say. And she gave things "for" people rather than "to" people.

Of new things she hadn't seen before,she would ask,"what's that for doing?"

When he was about three, DS2 came running into the kitchen in a panic telling us that his big brother had "done a yawn and it was all golden."

He'd been sick.

I also remember taking just two year old DS2 to the beach on a windy day. The sand was blowing at us so I was carrying him, with his face buried in my chest. He looked up at me with a dismayed expression and said,

"Naughty garden!"

Aawww...want my babies back...

And then there was the utterly horrific day I found DS2 crying "Naughty juice hurt mouf!"

He'd had a taste of my nail varnish remover. Probably the worst day of my life, but he was absolutely fine thank God.

We laugh about it now. Not.

Dodgy badgers for Jammy Dodgers (DS) and teddy top for a fake fur gilet (DD1)