Driving- How can parents survive without it?

[graceM]

I only ask as I find it hard to understand why so many parents in this day and age do not drive! Surely as a parent of sometimes many children, driving would be essential? I mean I have three children at three different schools/nursery and it would be impossible for me to get them there without the use of a car.

Now I know not everyone has three/four/five children but still, even with one or two children life would be so much simpler if one or both parents can drive? I get so fed up of seeing mums of a morning dragging their kids to the bus stop to do the school run especially in this cold weather and have found myself wondering why they just done learn to drive! Surely it's not fair for kids to be dragged around on public transport day in day out when it's freezing? So what are your thoughts, is driving essential to you and your daily life?

I've never taken a driving test, I've never owed a car. I'm in my mid 30s and have two children. Apart from the last few weeks of each pregnancy I've never felt the need for a car. We've always chosen to live in places where We can walk and bike around to do our daily activities, it keeps us healthy and improves the quality of our lives. If we have a third child we may consider a car but until then we love living car free. It also saves a ton of money! To be honest we probably couldn't find money for driving lessons and a car now, even if we wanted one.

Good for you bagofsnakes - the planet would benefit from a lot more car-free families.

Depends on where you live isn't it?

MIL stayed with us for a few months when she came to settle here. She's now got her own flat in a nearby town centre. She is applying for council flats and said categorically she does not want to live in our area. We live in those dormitory town where you can't get anywhere without a car. It's no way to live unless you drive.

DH and I used to live in Auckland. A very central suburb (remuera if you want to know). It is just under an hours walk up hill to get to the bus stop for the bus to go to town. Fancy that. I have never met anyone in NZ who don't drive.

I have failed my test 3 times and actually don't think I will ever beable to drive.

I have 3 children, one of whom is disabled, at 2 different schools and live in a rural town with fairly limited public transport.

Yes, life would be easier if I could drive, there is no denying that, but it isn't a struggle, and we just get on with it.

I get so fed up of seeing mums of a morning dragging their kids to the bus stop to do the school run especially in this cold weather and have found myself wondering why they just done learn to drive! Surely it's not fair for kids to be dragged around on public transport day in day out when it's freezing

^^this is just silly, my kids have good coats, catch the bus with their friends, enjoy walking, riding their bikes and scooting. Even if I passed my test, I wouldn't drive the school run.

Oh and where we are is actually 100 times better than where MIL was. She lived in New Plymouth. Pensioners transport is a bunch of taxi vouchers. There are no buses to her doctors or hospital.

What's wrong with a trip on public transport in winter? Surely they play outside for much longer unless it's wet play.

Having a car would be convenient for us to make long trips with the DCs. We can't currently afford lessons or a car and didn't have the opportunity as teenagers/students - again, money. We deliberately live in an area which means we can walk to most places but there is also a wealth of public transport. We also wouldn't think twice about getting a taxi in emergencies. A lot of parents manage without cars, but I do agree it can depend on where you live. Around here you just don't need one.

I would like one though

No that's not the case at all. Like I said inhabe three children all at different schools, and they aren't close by! They also attend around 11/12 after school activities between them in neighbouring towns, and it would take me hours and hours to get them there and back. It's nt a case of me being lazy, as physically I'm very fit ( go the gym, run marathons etc ) but I will always chose convienince when ot comes to my children, especially if it means making them wait for a bus for half an hour each day in the freezing cold!

The parents taking their children to school on the bus may not have money for driving lessons, a car and all the associated costs. It sounds like driving is the right choice for you, you don't need to justify it. It may not be the right choice for others, and that's ok too.

I had 2 kids and no car when I lived in London. Tube and buses were at the end of the road and school/shops/activities were all close by.

With the congestion charge and hideous traffic, most people don't have cars.

It's expensive to buy and run a car so I guess a lot of people can't afford it?

if it means making them wait for a bus for half an hour each day in the freezing cold!

Why would you wait for half an hour for a bus? We have a walk to the bus stop with ds in his buggy, and usually meet friends on the way, the girls chat and run ahead, we pop into the post office before catching the bus, which is usually waiting at the stop, I have a chat with the driver, and other mums, then ds and I go up to his school.

It is as hellish as it sounds....

Cars are great but also very expensive when you add up insurance, fuel ect.
Lots of people can afford it, and that's great, lots of people can't and that's also fine. We don't have a car (due to cost) but live in an area where most things are either within walking distance or easily reached by bus or train. I really don't feel like we suffer for it at all.

Driving lessons/tests/buying a car/running a car/petrol/maintenance etc are very very expensive. Maybe some of these parents are choosing to feed and clothe their children rather than the convenience of having a car.

I do drive and do have a car and would struggle without one, but I would manage and so would DD. A car is a luxury, not a necessity.

Some people can't drive due to medical reasons, off the top of my head, epilepsy, dyspraxia.
Some people actually care about not polluting their environment (idiots, right?!)
Some people just really don't enjoy driving.
Some can't afford a car, did you ever think of that? Or are your diamond shoes cutting off the blood supply, to your brain?
I walked and got the bus as a parent for 5 years. It was ok, time consuming but ok. I was fit as a butchers dog, and so was ds.
He can walk miles with no complaint, unlike his ferried about from birth little friends who can't go up the road without moaning.
I just wish where I live had actual decent public transport , then I wouldn't care about having a car, would just do a car club thing when we want to go to the seaside.

Me and the children are very fit, so it is difficult for car drivers to comprehend. I have a car now, but I still walk a lot,as I am vain and pushing the buggy miles up hills helps. It teaches the children good habits as well, even though I have a car now I don't think I will be the type that can't cope without it.

Surely it depends where you live?

I hate cars. To me they symbolise all that is wrong with the world - greed, consumerism, pollution, laziness. ..

I grew up without one and didn't learn to drive until I was 30. Now I have to drive for work, and as we live quite rurally, ds gets far more time in a car than I'd like.

I wish we could all rely more on public transport. I love getting buses and trains; being part of a community, chatting to people, no parking worries. ..

I also think we should all use our legs more.

I have two children (age 12 and 14) and have never driven and neither has DW. Believe me driving teenagers around is one burden I will never have to endure. My friends seem to constantly ferry their teens around.

Our children, walk, bus or taxi. They pay for transport out of their allowance so a party 25 miles away ending at midnight is not an option. We live in town. They have lots of friends nearby.

walk, bus, train, accept lifts. You can have a lot of taxis for the price of running a car.

We even lived in the stix and it wasn't essential, so it can't be that essential.
personally, I wouldn't use so many different schools and when due to circumstances beyond our control, 2 of our dc attended different schools, they were next door to each other.

We have 3 now, and 2 of them attend different places with 1 still at home. They walk wherever we go, and that includes clubs, and after school activities. Up until last summer I had them both at different places dropped off on foot by 7.30 and 8 and then was at work 5 days at week.

I will probably never be able to drive (even if we could afford it which is not likely!) - neither of us can for physical reasons.

We totally get by though! Public transport is pretty decent round here, it just means we need to plan a bit more. The lack of spontaneity can be a bit dull but the DCs really appreciate it when we manage to go somewhere different, because it doesn't happen so often I guess.

We are about to start homeschooling and I have to admit one thing that made me nervous of taking the plunge was that I wasn't sure if we'd managed to get to many clubs and events. But having found out more about the local 'scene' I'm not worried - again, the buses are great so we can get to loads!

never learned or ever will, partner can't due to disability, parents brought brother and self up in much more rural area than either of us now live in carfree and brilliantly. Kids adore buses and trains and 4 year old DS learned his letters and numbers this way. We live in a city and no planning needed at all for trips, we often just have a train adventure.

I have 2 kids and no car. I have chosen to live within walking distance (for my 5 year old) of excellent primary and secondary schools, the city centre (shops, museums, theatres, art galleries, library) a park, several nature reserves, the railway station, plenty of activities (dance, drama, art, sport, music). Cycle paths, buses and trains take us further away. Soft play is tricky, but that's no great loss. The only times I would prefer to have a car are for holidays, day trips to hard to reach places and for collecting things from Ikea. For the amount of money we save by not having a car, we can afford trains and taxis when we need them.

But how do people go on holiday in the Uk or day trips to anywhere not local?

I have 4 DCs and have never learnt to drive. My DH does, but he's not the father of my older kids and for a while I was on my own with them. I coped - it was fine. You walk, you use public transport, you use taxis.

Also how do you get your dc to different evening activities without a car?