Driving- How can parents survive without it?

[graceM]

I only ask as I find it hard to understand why so many parents in this day and age do not drive! Surely as a parent of sometimes many children, driving would be essential? I mean I have three children at three different schools/nursery and it would be impossible for me to get them there without the use of a car.

Now I know not everyone has three/four/five children but still, even with one or two children life would be so much simpler if one or both parents can drive? I get so fed up of seeing mums of a morning dragging their kids to the bus stop to do the school run especially in this cold weather and have found myself wondering why they just done learn to drive! Surely it's not fair for kids to be dragged around on public transport day in day out when it's freezing? So what are your thoughts, is driving essential to you and your daily life?

I love my car and my dh's work pickup truck, they are massively useful and get me to places I can't get by walking such as my parents house out in the country.

BUT other than going to my parents I prefer to walk to as much as possible. What on earth is wrong with having kids outside? Fresh air is good for them, my DS is happier outside than in. Being outside and getting exercise isn't exclusively reserved for planned activities. I also have no idea why you think someone would be waiting half an hour for a bus, I am not a massive fan of public transport after a decade of commuting but its not hard to get to the stop/station a few minutes before the bus or train goes.

There are many people who dont drive for many different reasons, they all manage just fine. I'm sorry to say but you sound spoiled and blinkered. I have no problem with people driving or not, each to their own.

MyCrazy we would if it didn't mean we couldn't go and see my parents/friends at weekends. Can't use public transport for that as we have a dog who has to come with us.

I don't drive never have. We have a car that is rarely used. I have had no problems not driving I love buses and trains and walk everywhere Always lived in a city though. Plus have no interest in cars at all.

Oh, come on, MyCrazyLife, nobody has called you that. Just because people didn't agree with you doesn't mean they attacked you. We just outlined how we prefer to do things differently, which is what we were asked.

I can drive and so can DH.

We don't have a car though, and use public transport, walk or cycle everywhere.

It's much cheaper for us not to run a car, and school and nursery, shops, doctors etc are within easy walking distance.

It's true that sometimes it takes longer to get to places, and sometimes it can be a pain having to rely on the bus - we have to be more organised about when we leave places for example, so that the transport lines up.

I have all the bus times for various places nearby memorised, and I know how long it takes to walk to the stop, so usually we don't spend much time hanging around. If we do have a long wait, we'll go to the playground, or go for a walk round the block or something - or even just walk all the way rather than wait for the bus.

The money we save by not running a car can buy a lot of nice days out, and high quality warm and waterproof clothing too, for wearing at "freezing bus stops".

I think using public transport is environmentally responsible, and a good example to my children, personally. We manage fine, and my children don't suffer .

Interesting thread. Normally all the mundanes start screaming and whining at any suggestion that car-free life is more interesting, spontaneous and fun as well as being cheaper - and there are a lot more people than you might think who are so stupid and unimaginative that they think it's impossible to be a parent if you don't have a car

Yes, they did :) see above

It doesn't bother me if people don't agree. I know if someone started a thread saying "walking everywhere - how do parents survive paying out for a car when they could just do that?" Then everyone would be arguing for cars!

Because of the troll's provocative title, all those people who cycle 20 miles a day taking their 6 kids to school are drawn to this thread. It's nothing personal.

My mum never drove and we live over two miles from our schools. There were no school buses but we managed with walking, bikes and buses.

If we were sick and had a Drs appointment we took a taxi. You can take a lot of taxi rides and still not spend anything like the cost of a car.

Why is it always a battle on here No one can ever accept that there are other ways to live!

DD gets pretty bad travel sickness which also makes car travel a pretty unpleasant experience.

heart we were quoted nearly £1000 for a removal van (no packing service) so £600 seems normal to me! £30?! We rented a small van to move ourselves in the end and that was £100!

I can drive, I had to stop and get rid of my car because my eyesight got so bad.
This will be fixed, I can and will get another car, but in the meantime it's called legs, internet shopping, public transport and taxis.

Where does everyone live that removal vans are so expensive? We were charged £15 per hour for ours when we moved. Even if you take all day and make several trips that won't add up to more than £200!

Ours was Bristol Cariad.

So because parents drive their chidlren are unfit? What rubbish. I've been driving for 15 years and I find it absolutely essential! My children go to school 3-4 miles away, they also go to brownies, beavers, swimming lessons, football/rugby clubs that are miles away and without me and their dad being able to drive they would not be able to do ANY of these activities.

Cbeebiesmum genuine question: you describe having a car as "essential". Don't you feel a bit vulnerable being so dependent on the fact that you can drive and can afford a car? It's a genuine question because I really struggle to understand how people can perceive themselves as so helpless unless they have a car.

I have 2 children and don't drive. Sometimes we have to walk outside when it's cold. We invested in these things called 'hats' and 'coats' and 'scarves' - you put them on your body and they keep you warm! Magic.

Re:the house move. We have a lot of stuff. Seriously our house is full to the brim. For a start I have several thousand books. So in terms of removal we'd need the biggest lorry available.

We did hire a transit sized van for 1 day for c. £30 for the couple of bulky items we had. (No white goods in move)

Everything else went in my normal sized car with the seats down and me borrowing my dad's 4wd car, seats down over several journeys over a month. We were lucky we didn't have to do it in one day as we would have had to hire a lorry. £600 is my estimate given how much I paid for a smaller moved last time a few years ago. The removal men then were astonished at how much stuff I had in such a small flat! We have 3x as much stuff now!

One of my DCs has just started a new hobby this week. Again we need the car to get there. It took 20 mins to drive. Would be 2 busses in the dark & rain, probably well over an hour, each way, leaving no time for dinner or homework. We wouldn't have gone without the car.

I did laugh at you being fed up of seeing kids at bus stops. Like it's such an inconvenience to you!

Everyone having cars is such a new thing. When I was a kid, practically nobody had a car. We used buses and we walked. We'd think nothing of walking a couple of miles into town to go to the co-op.

There really wasn't this attitude of oh my GOD we have to actually WALK more than ten steps oh dear LORD it's raining, whatever shall we DOOOOO

No, we just chucked on a coat and set off.

I used to walk nearly two miles to work every day when I first moved out on my own.

That said, I do drive and so does my husband. I think our cars have made us lazy, tbh.

Fenella

But I think things have changed now that so many people live in out of town new build housing estates that have no amenities and almost necessitate having a car.

Communities used to be built with shops, doctors, schools wtc all close together. Now houses are all themselves and shops are in distant malls.

It's the fault of planners and councils who sold off public transport. Don't blame the people who can't afford to live in high amenity areas who then depend on cars.

Who's talking about blame? I currently live in the arse end of nowhere. 5 miles to the kids school, 10 miles+ to the nearest supermarket, further to the town. I think our cars have made us lazy, tbh. I'm allowed to think that. it's true. My husband drives to the little shop at the bottom of the road to buy milk. Tell me that's not lazy, I dare you! When I was a kid, practically nobody had a car and we walked everywhere. Now me and my husband are drivers and we're lazy. That's just the truth of it.

I think that you misunderstood my last sentence. When I said our cars have made us lazy, I meant exactly that. I drive and so does my husband and I think our cars have made us lazy - compared to how we used to be.

We are a one car family- DH drives, I don't - medical reasons - there are quite a few of us who are not actually ALLOWED to drive.

Because we have only one car we have "spare" money for if taxi's etc are ever needed (once to pick up DD who had sprained her ankle whilst DH was away with work)

Because I can't - sorry BECAUSE I'M NOT ALLOWED to drive, we choose to live in suburbs where there is a good bus service (every 10min to town, every 7 min to city).

Kids, now 12 and 14, get the bus to school (their primary was 5 min walk) or their friends houses, or the pool, or the town, or the cinema, or the bowling alley.... gives them some autonomy over timing etc. and they are very independent and able to work out how to get anywhere they want to without relying on the taxi service of mum and dad.

Parents can get by just fine without driving.

It's quite simple if you don't have a car then you need miss or need one. It only seem to be a problem for those people who do have a car.