Driving- How can parents survive without it?

[graceM]

I only ask as I find it hard to understand why so many parents in this day and age do not drive! Surely as a parent of sometimes many children, driving would be essential? I mean I have three children at three different schools/nursery and it would be impossible for me to get them there without the use of a car.

Now I know not everyone has three/four/five children but still, even with one or two children life would be so much simpler if one or both parents can drive? I get so fed up of seeing mums of a morning dragging their kids to the bus stop to do the school run especially in this cold weather and have found myself wondering why they just done learn to drive! Surely it's not fair for kids to be dragged around on public transport day in day out when it's freezing? So what are your thoughts, is driving essential to you and your daily life?

I can drive and own a car. But I don't generally use it for the nursery run. I walk or cycle, np much nicer for everybody concerned.
And for swimming lessons we walk there and bus home.
We use our car for holidays and day trips out.

Live in London. Don't have a car and don't intend to get one. Both DH and I commute by Tube. DS will go to a school down the road. Most activities are/will be a bus ride away at the very most, but usually just a walk away. There are three large supermarkets close by, and of course for bulky stuff, I do online deliveries. For holidays, we MIGHT rent a car and go somewhere, but we almost always take a train. Or we fly somewhere else. Both DH and I grew up in very large metropolitan cities (outside the UK), whose populations were as big as, if not bigger, than London. Both DH and I have been using public transport in our home country since the age of 10. London has fabulous public transport and as another Londoner above said, if we had a car we wouldn't use it 5/7 days of the week, if not more. A complete waste.

I never had a car until recently. I still don't have a tv, dishwasher, freezer or I-pad. Surviving fine.

I live in a town and carry DS in a sling if I need to get a train or bus, it's easy. I walked to work and DH commutes into the City so we weren't running a car as we'd never use it in the week and the commuting costs for DH are so high it didn't make sense to pay for it to sit there. We thought we HAD to get one when I was pregnant but we've waited and now DS is 6 months I still don't feel the need. Often people who drive can't tolerate public transport and think of it as some kind of punishment, but to say it's bad for children, that's ridiculous.

im a single mum to (nearly) 3 children and we walk, I have spd but still walk! i dont see a car as a necessity and believe it is vetter to walk as it is healthier and better for the environment. if I do need to get public transport (very rare) then I just get on with it!

I've never learnt to drive. My dp can drive but we can't afford a car. Even if we could afford it, we wouldn't get one as we don't want to be responsible for yet another car polluting the planet. Public transport is very good where we live and I chose a bus friendly pushchair.

I think it's fine not to drive, but many non-drivers I know expect drivers to ferry them or their children around, and I can't be bothered with that.

Obviously, it's different if someone really can't drive for health or financial reasons, but if it's a choice it's no good.

I live in the sticks and this comes up a lot. If you live a city things would be quite different. Especially with supermarket deliveries!

As somebody who has failed her test more times than she cares to admit, I can safely say if I never have to drive I won't!

My dad was the stay at home parent and he didn't drive- we walked everywhere, and lives a mile and a half from the nearest shops, schools, you name it.
I was the fittest child in my year, my brother the same. I remember going to a friends and being confused why we got driven from school when we walked past this persons house daily on our way in.

I don't live particularly close to anything now- I bus 90 mins to and from work, my son loves public transport and finds nannies car 'boring'.

My DP lives in London, about 2 hours on a train, and still I see no desire to drive. It's just different people I suppose.. I imagine my mind would change if I had lots of children possibly, but it's all I've known so all I do!

I've never learned to drive. We've always lived in central London, never further than five minutes from a zone 1 tube or two mins to the nearest bus stop, with loads of bus route options (currently about 5 from our nearest stop, about 20 routes if we walk in a ten minute radius). So it's never been a problem to take public transport. It's far quicker to take the tube than to drive around here. It can be a pain if you have to walk a bit in the rain and I'm the kind of person who prefers to take multiple buses rather than walk a bit further to take a direct bus. But there are enough bus options here that it's not a problem.

I also only have one child, which makes it easier, and we have free passes for all forms of public transport, so it's significant financial saving compared to driving. Plus I like being able to get engrossed in my kindle/phone on buses and I'd get tetchy at having to pay attention to dull things like traffic lights and pedestrians if I were driving!

We love in London. We once owned a car - for about a year in total - and drove it about once every 2 weeks. At one point we didn't drive it for over month. Then one morning after about 3 weeks of not driving, we went round the corner where we had parked and realised it had been stolen. Had to admit to the police we had no idea when it went missing! Insurance paid out and we never bothered buying a new car. I guess it was pretty nonessential for me and my kids.

We LIVE in London. Though we love here , too.

Weird thread...

I dont drive, passed test a few years ago but find myself very anxious behind the wheel so haven't bothered since.

It does mean more walking etc. And sometimes i curse my lack of wheels but generally i just get on with it. My lo doesn't know any different, i actually think that having to get out and see the world offers more opportunity for learning and interaction.

I don't understand the tone of this thread. Did some non driving hippy piss you off?

Odd thread. I didn't think anyone other than Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells said 'in this day and age' any more. Why is the sight of parents taking their children on public transport a source of such anger to you, OP? Is it because they are literally 'dragging' their offspring onto buses by their hair? Otherwise, I can't see that it concerns you. Imagine that every single one if those parents saw the light, got a car, and did a drop off at each of your children's three schools/nurseries. Would the extra congestion cheer you up?

I don't drive, work, live in the country and have a child. I manage perfectly well.

I can drive and have a car however I don't always feel the need to use it! Getting the bus involves a walk(good for child) and teaches how to use public transport- one day he will be old enough to want to go into town by himself and if he is confident on public transport then it will give him a bit more independence. ALSO I just don't fancy driving in the rush hour with a bored child in the back moaning when I could be sitting on the bus playing and talking to him helping him learn. OP I think you are very shallow minded and could probably learn something from leaving the car at home once in a while!!

Tell you what, OP, you give me several thousand pound for driving lessons, a car, insurance, and for childcare during my lessons, and I'll learn to drive.

How does that sound to you?

We live in a rural town and do have a car, however, I don't use it on a daily basis. I 'll walk anywhere, with my DC, around the town we live in (upto an hour each way), and we usually catch the train if going to neighbouring towns.

So maybe, OP, some of those parents getting their children onto buses, do have cars, but like me, they don't deem it appropriate to drive on the school run.

As a single mum I couldn't afford to run a car. Primary school was within walking distance and their then secondary was about a mile away. Afaik their legs didn't fall off. We would either walk or bus it to the city centre, if I had a big shop then I'd walk there and taxi back. We did a lot of talking which helped them with any problems and it kept them fit, it also stopped me buying stuff I couldn't carry. I moved to another town, DP has a car but the transport links, bus and train are great so I haven't needed one.

I agree, OP. My SIL is due soon and keep failing her theory test and I just think... Good luck having a baby and no car!

I LOVE being able to drive.

Keeps*

MyCrazyLife I have a car but actually having a baby is the time I've needed it least! No commuting to work, we do our shopping online etc. I rarely use it now I have a baby. She loves getting out in the fresh air in her pram (walking now, at 15 months she'd rather walk than go in the pram!) and we live walking distance from friends/baby groups/shops etc. We only really use ours to visit family 150 miles away now.

It really depends on your individual family situation and where you live. I do not drive at the moment. I do not have a car. My husband has a car which he uses for work. We live within walking distance to the centre of town and near schools, nurseries and sports centres etc. We do not need to use the car at weekends, at all, if we don't want to. We do tend to use it for the weekly shop but I could shop more often or get a delivery.

Skip over to this thread and you can see where multi car ownership can become a problem in residential areas for parking.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2315426-to-say-that-students-shouldnt-own-cars?

I can see why it could be problematic not driving, in some areas but we really need to be raising our children not to be reliant on owning their own car.

Well being epileptic I've had to survive. No need to sound so smug OP.

Why would you need a car when you have a baby? They have prams. Or slings. Its the most portable stage of their life.

That's what I was trying to say in a round about way Bella!

I understand the op.

I think once you have a car and get used to that lifestyle then imagining life without it is very difficult.

My days with the DCs would be totally different without the car. We'd stay in the house a lot more and be bored rigid by just going to the local park.

Because I have the car I go far and wide with them at no notice.

We arrange activities that just aren't accessible otherwise. Eg we used groupon to take DS horse riding. It was rural 20 miles away. 25 mins in car. Absolutely no public transport. Taxi would have been what £50?

The DCs like soft plays so we go to lots of different ones up to 10 miles away so it's not to samey.

Dd goes to ice skating lessons. It's 20 mins in the car. It takes 1 1/2 hours each way by bus.

We visit our parents frequently. With both the car saves at least an hour each way. The DCs wouldn't see their gps as much (and we wouldn't have such easy babysitting!) if we didn't have the car.

Sometimes we'll go out shopping for a specific item but it won't be in the first shop so we can easily drive to another one. We can do in a couple of hours what it would take a whole day to do. This means we have so much more quality family time.

Then there's transporting stuff. Our last house move we did almost all ourselves vis multiple car journeys. That saved hundreds in van hire.

The DCs are both at schools a few miles away. 15 mins in car. An hour by bus. For school events/partners evenings not having the car would be such a hassle and take up loads of time.

Sometimes DS forgets or loses his bus money home so the school calls for me to pick him up. How would that work if I didn't have car?

As for the people who say they use taxis, I had a very bad experience with one and don't feel safe in them. Certainly wouldn't put me dc in one.

On the other hand though, dp doesn't drive and somehow manages he just comes home late and soaked a lot.