Driving- How can parents survive without it?

[graceM]

I only ask as I find it hard to understand why so many parents in this day and age do not drive! Surely as a parent of sometimes many children, driving would be essential? I mean I have three children at three different schools/nursery and it would be impossible for me to get them there without the use of a car.

Now I know not everyone has three/four/five children but still, even with one or two children life would be so much simpler if one or both parents can drive? I get so fed up of seeing mums of a morning dragging their kids to the bus stop to do the school run especially in this cold weather and have found myself wondering why they just done learn to drive! Surely it's not fair for kids to be dragged around on public transport day in day out when it's freezing? So what are your thoughts, is driving essential to you and your daily life?

What bizarre things some people have the luxury to get worked up about. Why does it bother you so much how others transport their children? It hardly constitutes child neglect to wait around a bus stop in the cold for 20 minutes. I expect these children will grow up resilient, fit, healthy and independent. I suspect many of those standing at the bus stop wish they did drive or have a car but for lots of reasons which are nobody else's business they don't. And isn't it great they have access to public transport to go about their day?

I can understand being a bit off with parents who choose not to have a car but expect everyone else's parents to ferry their child around, but really, I can't see why this would get anyone so worked up.

I agree JackieHarris, having a car often does save time, when you live somewhere with crap public transport, as I do.
I used to get 2 buses to see my mum, would the at least an hour, now it's quite mins in the car. Moving house is easier too, of course it is. But the conveniences, for me, don't really have anything to do with having children.
Life before car was just different, slower more local.
When I was unemployed with a baby actually the long treks to do things sort of filled up the days. Walking to the nearest shop, which took 40 mins along footpaths paths at the time, and much longer if on the sledge/ blackberry picking, was a mini adventure with a toddler, and sad as it may sound, broke as I was, that was a good thing.
I like that I save time now, (and can get to Ikea!) but still don't feel the need to go all that far afield for activities. Maybe I am lucky, but we have sports clubs 10 mins walk away etc and I am too lazy to be heading off kayaking or whatever at weekends.

15 not quite!

Dixie - you don't know what you're missing out on :)

MyCrazyLife what's Dixie missing out on? Interested to know as I rarely use my car (with a baby) and don't feel either of us are missing out!

Missing out? On what?

I can honestly say we have never missed out on a second car.
We do have a family car, but it is not always here as dh travels long distances for work and i don't drive.
I'm trying to think of a time a car was essential and the fact I didn't drive or have access to a car stopping me/the kids from doing something.

I can see all the arguments for it making life easier and quicker (sometimes) to have a car but impossible without? I don't think so.
When I was growing up very few parents could afford one car, they managed ok.

I managed to bring 3 kids up to adulthood without being able to drive. They all went to the local primary school. They all walked to secondary school.

Imagine that, kids walking to school on their own.

I don't ever expect anyone to ferry me around. So you can stick your cars where the sun don't shine.

MyCrazyLife I posted a list upthread of all the things my kid would have missed out on, had I ferried him around strapped into a stuffy metal box instead of walking, taking the bus, and taking the tubes and trains. Being car-free isn't all misery at bus stops, you know.

My kids also knew how to get themselves around on public transport alone from about 12 years old.

I think it made them a lot more independent than some of their ferried about every where friends.

Getting pregnant was the biggest push for me to get my license. When I am the bus comes every 30 min is usually late and to get anywhere I had to have at least one change. If I missed the second bus I would be waiting for at least 20 min. I find it Soo convenient

Archery - you can still do those things and have a car. I like having the choice. At least get a licence, if I can do it anyone can :) (maybe!)

Missing out on having a car.

Honestly, you won't know until you try it. I was very happy using public transport. (When I was a teenager. And didn't have kids.)

MyCrazy that's my point, I have a car! I just rarely use it as all our groups/friends etc are walking distance, we spend a lot of time walking either with the pram/sling/DD walking next to me, go to parks etc. We do our shopping online. Only use the car for trips to see my family 150 miles away. So genuinely have no idea what I'm missing out on by not using the car (I obviously could if I chose to!)

My kids are independent too, and we walk quite far when it's warm :)

Oh and they will be walking to secondary school, no qualms about that!

And I shop online too.

Sell your car GotTo! If I wasn't addicted to mine I would...

I even walk across fields in the dark with my dc's all by ourselves
Imagine that!
Why on earth would people want to experience beautiful evenings in the crisp air looking at the moon,when they could jump in a car?

Interesting thread. Normally all the mundanes start screaming and whining at any suggestion that car-free life is more interesting, spontaneous and fun as well as being cheaper - and there are a lot more people than you might think who are so stupid and unimaginative that they think it's impossible to be a parent if you don't have a car.
I am 50, have a 10-year-old son and have never owned a car. Mind you, I wouldn't live anywhere without adequate public transport in the first place. Driving a car means you have to worry about parking, about it getting stolen, about one-way streets in unfamiliar areas, about not being able to have a glass of wine with your lunch if you fancy it. If you've gone for a nice rambling walk on a sunny day, you have to get back to wherever you parked the car rather than being able to jump on a bus and see where you end up. Car-free holidays are not difficult, either: we have been to Whitby, the Isle of Wight, Scarborough and Eurodisney, none of which have been spoilt by the lack of a car.

I feel sorry for all those kids ferried around in cars not getting exercise, not getting used to the outside world interacting with others etc.

I can drive but hate it, it's so dull. I had 3 children in London, most things were within walking distance but there was also fantastic public transport. We did have a car but rarely used it - family
Live so far away we usually get the train.

Now we live more rurally, I drive more but only once a month or so for a medical appointment - most things are still in walking distance, I catch the train to work as it's 60 miles plus. I would never live anywhere where I was dependent on a car - so dull to spend time in traffic everyday!

I've had a car, MyCrazyLife, and it was fine, but I wouldn't bother with one again. In fact, at this point in my life I don't think I would ever choose to move somewhere I needed one. It is so much easier - and I am so much happier - not having to climb into a car to do anything. This half term we were meeting up with various friends in another city, and one couple offered to take us in their car. I turned them down (though it was a very kind offer from them) as the journey there is much nicer - and quicker - on the train.

heartisaspade

A removal can would have cost £600+ so yes more than road tax, mot/repairs for a year (under £200).

The car loan, insurance and petrol are expensive though so I do understand that lots of people wouldn't be able to afford one but I don't think that's what this debate is about.

I couldn't afford a car when dc1 was a baby. Doing a shop was such a hassle- I'd have to put him in a sling and have a rucksack on my back to carry the shopping home (over flyovers over the motorway-not nice). I was very isolated and lost contact with my friends who were 4 miles away as it was 4 bus journeys and most of the busses weren't buggy friendly.

I couldn't have done the nursery run and got to work on time (literally no busses in that direction at that time) without a car. So I'd have been stuck being a sahm when I wanted to be working.

I do think there's a rather unecessary judgy pants tone to some of the posts on this thread which assume DCs with cars don't walk or use public transport or are lacking in independence.

Dc1 walks himself to the bus stop and gets the bus to and from school every day. He goes round the shops and to the park alone with his friends. He's really quite independent compared to other 12 yos.

Yes jackie, apparently I'm stupid and unimaginative because I prefer having a car, also our children are practically tortured in that metal box. Poor things.

I love the cosiness of all being tucked up in the car, but I suppose that's one of my only good memories of an otherwise horrendous childhood.

We live in a village in lincolnshire - slightly different to having a tube station at the end of the street...