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Original poster

my neighbour assaulted my 5 year old!!!!

352 replies

hangingbyathread · 16/10/2006 16:18

saturday my dd was playing out front with the group when my neighbour in opposite house was coming back from the shop,my dd&her friend were standing in her way like kids do arms spread ect,she told my dd to move,when she didnt move she got her arm&shoved her out the way&my dd landed backwards in a bush,i have contacted the police&they have logged it as assault but now monday they still havnt come apparently they are "busy",iam fuming,i want to hit her but i know i will be arrested if i do,also what has upset me is i thought my friend&neighbour who dd plays with was my friend&to me loyalty is a big part of friendship but my friend has still carried on as normal,not stuck up for my dd&if it was me i would make it clear to the assaulter it is wrong to do that to a child(as i have said to her but got no response)also the problem i have now is my dd5 wants to go play out the front but i have tried explaining to her she cant until the police has been as the person may hurt her again as she obviouly thinks she"s got away with it as she has been sniggering&making gestures at me on the school run,what do i do iam so upset

OP posts:

alexsCURSEDMUMMY · 26/10/2006 11:14

oh thank god for that. maybe now we can let this lie!

babe1 · 26/10/2006 11:14

HumphreyComfrey - the child may or may not have hit the ground. In any case it is totally wrong for any adult to shove a child hard enough out of their way that the child falls backwards into a bush, or any object for that matter. Would you be so complacent if it were your child? Why couldn't the offending adult even have played along with the kids for a minute or so, and even have guessed a couple of passwords? She may even have enjoyed herself, and would have got to her house soon enough.

Seems to me that facebovvered is being very sarcastic. How easy it is when you are only coversing over a website under the guise of a made up nickname.

babe1 · 26/10/2006 11:16

Well said hangingbyathread. However, I now fear an influx of 'you've made it our business by posting' blahdeblah.

lulumama · 26/10/2006 11:21

babe1- i was one of the first to post - i may not have agreed with the OP in all that she said & did...

.but i didn't resort to personal affronts and expletives.

just because i am not in total agreement with HBAT..i genuinely , as i posted a week ago..wanted to know if the police had been out and she had had some resolution as it was clearly so important to her.

and if that makes me deserving of being told i am a bad parent with no life and to f**k off.........

HumphreyComfrey · 26/10/2006 11:22

babe1 - the difference between the child being pushed into a bush and "being shoved hard enough to hit the ground" is important, as one is clearly much more aggressive than the other. You were over-dramatising the whole story for effect IMO.

re "Would you be so complacent if it were your child?"

I'm not at all complacent, but I do think the OP failed in her duty to protect her child adequately, and she needs to take some responsibility for this incident.

"Why couldn't the offending adult even have played along with the kids for a minute or so, and even have guessed a couple of passwords? She may even have enjoyed herself, and would have got to her house soon enough".

I don't know Babe1 - I wasn't there.

Were you?

facebovvered · 26/10/2006 11:23

babe1..aren't we all under the guise of a nickname?
What did she say that was deleted? what did she say?????

facebovvered · 26/10/2006 11:25

she might have had the runs

HumphreyComfrey · 26/10/2006 11:26

or be missing the start of 'Deal or No Deal'?

HumphreyComfrey · 26/10/2006 11:29

I think the deleted thread said something along the lines of

"I now realise I may have over-reacted by calling the police. The neighbour should not have touched my daughter, but if I had been watching my child more closely then the situation would not have arisen.

You MNetters are so wise and witty - and really very, very right.

Thank you for taking the time to add your comments to this thread.

Looking forward to seeing you soon"

Or words to that effect.

lulumama · 26/10/2006 11:30

i could tell you, bovvered...but then i'd have to report myself!

humphrey..i would run the other way if noel edmonds was on the telly!!!!

babe1 · 26/10/2006 11:30

I must be missing something here. The OP didn't protect her child properly?? And needs to take some responsibility for what happened?? As far as I understand it (without re-reading all these posts) her child was playing out the front of their house with an older child. The OP probably didn't realise she needed to protect her. How are we supposed to take responsibility for an unprovoked - dare I say it - attack on our child when we don't see it coming? And I still won't hold with the theory that the offending adult was provoked. The child was 5 and didn't hit her or push her into a bush, she was merely playing a childish game.

I can fully understand HBAT's reaction. Even if she did resort to using expletives. Haven't we all at one time or another? I'm disappointed in a lot of the responses, so how must she be feeling?

lulumama · 26/10/2006 11:30

absolutely ROFL humphrey...!

lulumama · 26/10/2006 11:32

babe1 - there are 338 posts on this topic

about 99 % supported her in feeling upset & angry........not with the calling of the police

a lot of people took time to support HBAT...and then got told to f off.....it's just not on !

misdee · 26/10/2006 11:43

[looks in, sighs and walks away]

facebovvered · 26/10/2006 11:43

Thanks for that Humphrey See, I knew sense would reign after all

babe1... what age are your children?

Blandmum · 26/10/2006 11:47

I can understand the OP being cross.

But calling the police was a total over reaction, akin, in fact to the woman retaliating by phoning social serives because a child of 5 wasn't being supervised by an adult......

Whatever happened to common sense and a sense of proportion?

redbullbloodandbump · 26/10/2006 11:49

why are you arguing how the child was hurt like i said in one of my posts

Im really shocked by peoples reactions on here as this is abuse on a child we are talking about not telling the child off with words but using physical strength on a child

does it really matter how it happened a woman placed her hand on a child and physicaly hurt them wich is breacking the law

moljam · 26/10/2006 11:59

wow its still going on?

Greensleeves · 26/10/2006 12:03

Am loath to poke my nose in here, it's clearly all gone Pete Tong some time ago...

but if another adult pushed my 5yo over I would end them. I would expect my neighbour to deal with the situation in a non-violent way, even if it took a bit longer - and then let me know in no uncertain terms how badly my child had behaved. I would then discipline my own child accordingly. But to reach out and shove someone else's 5yo child into a bush? No. Not acceptable.

sorrell · 26/10/2006 12:04

It's really easy to push a child over. I remember just moving my child (similar age to OP) aside as I was taking something hot out of the oven, and he went over like a skittle. And that's not the only time. Just because a kid loses their balance does not mean they are being brutally handled. I think the OP wants to have her cake and eat it. When I was a kid, yes, five year olds played out unsupervised, but our parents wouldn't have dreamed of calling the police over an incident like this - and if they did, the police would have been completely amazed to have been called and told our parents to go away! The OP seems to want to be able to leave her kid to take her chances outside when it suits her (fair enough) but also wants to have her protected by the full force of the law when it doesn't. That's what I think is wrong about all this.

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 26/10/2006 12:05

I don't think anyone disagreed with that. Or at least, not when I posted AGES ago. It was the calling the police that was the focus of the debate.

SamhainWitch · 26/10/2006 12:09

Oh please, people, find something better to do with your time.

For your sanity, I beg you.

BATtymumma · 26/10/2006 12:16

i havent posted here cos i had a look when it was early days and though there was a slight over reaction.

FWIW if i were the OP when my DC came and told me what had happened i would have said "well what do you expect, you dont stand in peoples way thats rude. that lady might not want to play wit you" because kids need to know that going up to strangers is wrong.

then i would have tried to find an excuse to spesak with the neighbour and mentioned how my child was a little sore as she had scratched herself in the bush, that i was sorry she had gotten in the way but that i thought it was a little rude to knowck her over, im sure she hadn't meant to knock her over but she now feels a little upset that you didnt even apologise etc etc.

see what the reaction is. there maybe a thousadn reasons why she just couldn't play along with yo daughters game, and she may not have realised she has hurt her.

really am not going ot bother reading teh whole thread but if someone who has wants to enlighten me as to what has hapened id be gratefull

babe1 · 26/10/2006 12:49

Facebovvered - why the relevance of the ages of my children? For the record, my youngest 2 are similar age to the OP's.

Has anyone else noticed that the OP has now bowed out of this debate? Perhaps we should all follow suit, this one is just going to run and run.

In keeping with the obsession with having the last word, I'm going to bow out by reiterating my stance on it.

The child was very young, and was playing a childish game with a child a bit older. Perhaps a child of 5 shouldn't have been out without an adult present. Mine never have been.

The adult who pushed the child was completely wrong to do so. She could simply have asked the child to move, and if the child refused, could then have gone and had a word with the child's Mother. When my kids are under my feet I never push them out of my way hard enough to send them reeling into an object behind them, and I certainly wouldn't expect that behaviour of a stranger/neighbour. I do see what you're saying, Sorrell, about it being easy to push a small child over accidentally, but from what I've read, I don't believe it was an accident.

Perhaps we should all move on from this, it's getting us nowhere. Fortunately the child wasn't badly hurt, but her Mother's (HBAT) feelings were which is perfectly understandable.

lulamama - thank you for pointing out to me the number of posts on this topic. I had noticed. I still don't understand why the vast number of people disagreed with her calling the police. At the very least, they could have come and checked the situation out for themselves, and then had a word with the offending adult and told her to keep her hands off other people's children.

Now, as much as I'd love to stay and debate, housework calls!

Have a nice day, Ladies.

ssd · 26/10/2006 17:39

well ended babe1!

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