how do you fit it all in with a one year old?

[mustardtomango]

I'm thinking of the cooking, washing up, playing, playgroups, just plain going out...

Ds has a routine that works for him in terms of eating (finally nailed it) and not being overtired (ditto), but the time between things is minimal to say the least. A typical day at the moment, he's teething and is quite clingy, looks roughly like this...

7 wake, few mins in bed then play
7.30-8 breakfast
8-8.45 play
8.45 nursery, books, calm time
9 feed, sleep
10.30 wake, cuddle time on couch
11 I try to make his lunch
11.30-12 lunch (any later & he's narky)
12-1 play
1-1.30 nursery calm time, books, toys
1.30-3 nap
3-3.30 snuggle time again
3.30-4.30 play with dh whilst I cook
4.30-5 dinner
5-5.30 play
5.30-6ish bath (he likes ages in there)
6 plays with teddies, stories
6.30/7 bedtime

We do some morning playgroups that run between 10 & midday which work well and he loves. Not unreasonably he wants to play with me when I cook, but it's not ideal - got a high chair in the kitchen but it still feels a bit unfair to take this time away from him.

How does everyone else cook / wash up / clean / play /go out and all the rest? I'm a sahm and thought we could have art days etc but finding the time to organise feels pretty much beyond me. If I could lay him down I'd be ahead again but he's so sensitive right now he just wakes every time I try. I'm batch cooking at night to free some daytime hours but then dh and I get even less time. Any advice appreciated x

I have a 22 month old and a 9 month old.

I also have a cleaner for 5 hours a week which helps massively. Would recommend getting one if possible - even fir a few hours.

Both DC's are good sleepers and 23 month old DS still has a morning nap. Minimum is about 2-2.5 hours so I get a lot of tidying done then. If I feel a bit behind, I'll do a nectar half an hour or so at night - usually folding washing etc

Re going out - I'm not someone who feels the need to get out everyday.

Mondays are my kind of sacred stay at home time when I get the shopping delivered and catch up on washing etc and tidy up after the weekend as I don't do much then although DH does a lot at the weekend so it's not normally too bad.

I go to a class with both babies once a week and usually meet friends two or three times a week. I find too much organised activity a bit stressful! DS also goes to nursery for two afternoons a week

Today we have just pottered about as I'm cooking stiff for the freezer

Sorry - that's not much help. I will ask one of my very good friends for advice. She has an 11 month old and has to get out morning and afternoon!

Your DS still naps what do you do in that time? I would suggest doing everything including cooking, if its food that needs cooking for a long time set a reminder on your phone every 15 mins to stir in between playing. Wait until he stops napping!!

Well, tbh, pretty much I just get on with stuff.

I had a great deal of structure when ds 1 was little.
I vowed to not do that to myself or baby number 2 and I don't.

Looking back I was a slave to it and for what?
It really made absolutely no difference to his development or happiness, but it did exacerbate my pnd.

This time goes SO very fast, routines change and should be flexible to adapting to the rapidly changing needs of the child.

I am loving the carefree time that I have with ds2, such a difference.
Like I say, I just crack on, barely look at the clock, do what needs to be done when it needs doing.
That's how I do it anyway.

It does worry me slightly to imagine when he's not going to nap at all

I've tried to relax more since he turned one, for example tidying up only at the end of the day and cleaning only when it really needs it, but I'm keen he eats well soon spend more time on this than I might.

On the napping, it would make all the difference being able to lay him down, bit right now, due to a series of colds, teething & tummy aches, he's awake again almost as soon as he's put down. It actually gives me less time, trying to lay him down, than staying with him and using that time to do life admin and stay in touch with friends.

Does he play on his own ? I often leave DD (13 months) playing in a corner of the kitchen with some tupperware boxes, and I can get stuff done (washing, cooking etc). She's happy to crawl around and do her own thing, as long as she knows where I am

I was going to ask the same, will he not play by himself? I used to just get on with cooking, laundry etc while mine played from a very young age. Our house isn't huge and I never had a gate on the kitchen or anything so they would just come and find me if they wanted me in the 5 minutes I wasn't in the same room :)

1 year old routine here
7.45 breakfast
11.45 lunch
12.30 - 2.30 nap
4.45 tea
7 bed

We get out and about every morning - toddlers, swimming, singing, then rush home for a quick lunch and upto bed. I then have 2 hours to myself or to get things done. Out in the afternoon 3-4.30ish library, walk, friends, soft play etc.

I batch cook when little one is up (were open plan so can't use the oven unless in bed or I make a dedicated effort to keep dc in another part of the room, or put in high chair. Dc loves playing with pits and pans and watching me cook. I ion at dinner at tea time while dc feeds self or when napping. I wash up after tea and dc has to entertain self for the 15 minutes sometimes this works some times dc has a whinge/cry but it's something that needs doing so i just get on with it and then play afterwards.

He does play pretty well by himself, will happily do that for a few mins, but he's a bit of a danger to himself at the moment - he's trying to climb everything, and yesterday triumphantly brought me (after about a minute apart) a power cable and plug we thought was safe behind a chair. We got one of those baby pen things, but he works himself up really quickly into big sobs that takes ages to calm him down from. He's a lovely boy, happy and smiley and sociable, but quite defiant already.

I have a determined and defiant 1 year old. However they need to learn that sometimes they have to be in a playpen or amuse themselves while I am busy. 95% of my day is given upto the toddler (just turned 1) so sometimes they need to fit in with day to day life.

Does he really need to nap so soon after getting up, especially if you say you're having difficulty getting him to drop off? Trying to remember with my son, but I think by the time he was one, he was just having one long nap in the middle of the day, which made things much easier. Also suggesting you let him potter in the kitchen or wherever you need to do chores. I had a specific cupboard he was allowed to empty out.

deargirl that's pretty similar! An open plan layout would really make a difference actually, I hadn't thought of that

I think he'll probably be on one nap quite soon, he's done it a few times but not consistently - we're probably on the cusp of me trying to get that in place. Would certainly help, but seems a fine line between ending up with a really grotty baby and it just working.

Agree re them needing to entertain themselves, he's fine art that though - for my own sanity I need to keep a close eye on him at the moment though

Re only 1 nap we just went for it. Lunch has to be earlier for a few days but they soon get used to it. As long as you keep them busy in the morning they don't notice it.

[rolls eyes]

Sorry. You manage when you have to.

I have a DD who is 1 next week. She only naps for 40 mins in the morning and an hour after lunch but I basically cram everything into that time! Otherwise it just gets done while she's playing with her toys. She doesn't have any sort of cuddle/quiet time as she's not interested and just wants to be on the floor playing. After she's in bed at night I walk the dog while DH cooks dinner or vice versa, then we eat and relax for an hour before bed. Anything that isn't done in the week gets done on a Saturday morning.

I think you just need to get on with it really you do have loads of time actually, with naps and playtime. What might help is breaking down things that need to be done into small pieces that can be done 5 minutes at a time, since you say he is happy to play by himself can you not childproof one room so he'll be okay? Then hopefully he will nap properly again soon and you can get everything done then.

I think you need to figure out what are practical obstacles vs where perhaps you are being a bit PFB (sorry) -- you say you feel bad cooking because it's taking time away from him but you are spending all day with him, it is really not a problem to go cook for 15 minutes.

I meant to say our routine is something like this...

7am wake
8am breakfast
Play time until nap at 9.30am
10.40am awake, out of the house to a group etc.
12.30pm lunch
Playtime until nap at 1.30pm
Up at 2.30pm
Out with friends usually until 5pm
5.30pm dinner
Bedtime at 7- 7.30pm

He naps for a total of 3 hours, much like my one year old. It's amazing how much you can do in three hours....what's the problem?

I'd kill for 3 hours of nap time to get things done, we get an hour and 40 at most, usually less!

You're getting up too early!! I didn't get up until about 9am. DS happy in his cot beside me. What are you doing during these 'play' sessions? I just moved DS round the house with me.

He has his tea very early. Our were put onto 'normal' mealtimes ASAP.

I was going to say batch cook but looks like you're already doing that. But if you're batch cooking how come you are spending 30 mins cooking dinner and 1 hr cooking tea...?

I have batch cooked meals in the freezer and they take 3 minutes to defrost... (ok sometimes a bit more if I need to cook pasta or veg or rice fresh, but you get the picture).

Washing up and bare minimum of tidying/cleaning happens during nap time or after bedtime.

But just seen you can't put him down during naps, which quite a few replies seem to have missed.

Ok this is the real issue - it means no time for tidying etc but more importantly it means you never get a break.

I suspect this will improve when he drops his morning nap which will probably be soon. Once that nap goes, he'll be knackered by lunchtime and desperate to sleep whether you're with him or not.

What is the feed at 9am? Could that be a finger food snack in his highchair - would give you 15 mins to do something.

DS turned one last week. Our routine is similar to yours

7.30-8am wake
8-9 leisurely bottle, breakfast, Cbeebies
9 play
9.30-11ish nap
11ish walk dogs
12 - lunch

We used to carry on with another 90 min nap at 1.30 but I'm stretching this to 2pm. If I need to go out I do it in the afternoon - we live out of town so going anywhere involves a 30 minute drive minimum. He usually sleeps on the journey home and I transfer him to his cot when we get in.

5.30 tea
6pm bath
6.30ish bottle, snuggle, bed

My times have become a lot more 'isn' and less exact lately. I work 2 afternoons per week so he goes to nursery, this means he is v tired the next day and has a longer nap. I get all housework done during his naps, he has about 3hrs per day like your DC. Anything I don't get done during the day I do when he is settled in bed at night. I find I have days where I can be slack and waste his nap time on the internet and days where I knuckle down and get loads of housework done. I usually put a wash on first thing most mornings and transfer to drier when he has his first nap. I am falling a bit behind on batch cooking but otherwise things are getting done.

Don't be too quick to do away with that second nap - three hours per day is plenty to get things done. An hour and a half ... not so much!

He sleeps in the ops arms

redefine play. play is sitting on the kitchen floor with a mixing bowl, spoons and a whisk. Maybe on a towel with some water and bubbles in the bowl or other times with playdough or toy food. You can be wiping up, washing up, cooking etc while he plays. sorting laundry van be a great game. taking things out of a tub and shoving them in the washing machine is heaven for a toddler. As is passing mummy the clothes pegs. and passing mummy the clothes though that ends up in dirty clothes that have been dragged round the garden and need washing again .

It will all change soon enough, enjoy the time you have and remember there is a difference between routine and schedule. Don't beat yourself up trying to stick to a rigid timetable.

i completely get just cuddling for naps. Thank fuck the baby is asleep, I'm going to sit here and rest and catch up on emails. glorious times, enjoy them. sleepy snuggles disappear far too soon .