how do you fit it all in with a one year old?

[mustardtomango]

I'm thinking of the cooking, washing up, playing, playgroups, just plain going out...

Ds has a routine that works for him in terms of eating (finally nailed it) and not being overtired (ditto), but the time between things is minimal to say the least. A typical day at the moment, he's teething and is quite clingy, looks roughly like this...

7 wake, few mins in bed then play
7.30-8 breakfast
8-8.45 play
8.45 nursery, books, calm time
9 feed, sleep
10.30 wake, cuddle time on couch
11 I try to make his lunch
11.30-12 lunch (any later & he's narky)
12-1 play
1-1.30 nursery calm time, books, toys
1.30-3 nap
3-3.30 snuggle time again
3.30-4.30 play with dh whilst I cook
4.30-5 dinner
5-5.30 play
5.30-6ish bath (he likes ages in there)
6 plays with teddies, stories
6.30/7 bedtime

We do some morning playgroups that run between 10 & midday which work well and he loves. Not unreasonably he wants to play with me when I cook, but it's not ideal - got a high chair in the kitchen but it still feels a bit unfair to take this time away from him.

How does everyone else cook / wash up / clean / play /go out and all the rest? I'm a sahm and thought we could have art days etc but finding the time to organise feels pretty much beyond me. If I could lay him down I'd be ahead again but he's so sensitive right now he just wakes every time I try. I'm batch cooking at night to free some daytime hours but then dh and I get even less time. Any advice appreciated x

I didn't find it an issue to be honest, even when working pt. think you need to be less structured. If he is happy playing/pottering do something that you need to get done, you really don't need to 'play' constantly. I used to do lots of moving them about the house with me talking about what I was doing. If you want to dust a room take him with and give him a cloth so he can 'help'.

I always make sure I do the absolute minimum: I batch cook at weekends so lunch and tea is just a few mins in the microwave, or scrambled egg or something. I do half an hour or so of chores while she's asleep and spend the rest of the time relaxing. Half an hour a day keeps the place presentable, then DP and I share cleaning at weekends. Our routine, now she is 20 months, is:
7am wake, dress, breakfast
8.30ish out for a dog walk
9.30-10 ish morning activity: swimming or playgroup or something
12ish lunch
12-2 ish nap
2.30 ish PM activity: rhyme time or shops or swings etc
4.30pm short dog walk
5pm tea
5.30-6.30 playtime and cBeebies
6.30 bath
7pm bed

She is extremely active and I need to tire her out but, this means she sleeps like a log -naps and night.

It's only now she's 20mo I feel I can get stuff done while she plays by herself, although I've always managed to get a bit done here and there.

Can't really help with the routines as such as my DS is 18 months but with regards to the naps at 12 months he was still sleeping on me (habit formed from reflux). When we dropped to one nap at 12.30 he was so knackered that I could put him down and this meant I could break the association with being on me to sleep - has meant I have a break/rest/quick tidy whilst he naps.

Wow, loads of replies - thanks everyone. As someone said, 3 hours would be heaps of time, except I'm with the baby. Also get the pfb thing, he is that. We're managing, more than that, but was looking for the mn wisdom on simply how everyone fits it in. Ds has what seems to be a nut allergy, rash etc until recently, and we're vegetarians, so am probably spending more time working out his food than I would otherwise. Will have a proper read later, been caught up in baby sickness tonight (which may account for some of the clingyiness). Thanks again

Honestly - just put him in the cot for naps. Chill about rountines - tidy whilst he is eating, playing etc. lower your standards. Employ a cleaner. Get out the house - when you have two you will realise having one 1yo really is apiece of piss! (But unfortunately I only realised this once I had two children - don't make the same mistake as me by making hard work out of it a- easier said than done)

My one year doesn't nap at all during the day and I have 3 older children. You just learn to get on with things. You don't have to be attached to your child 24/7. My dd plays near me in the house whilst I'm doing chores and then anything else gets done when she finally goes to bed.
I miss nap time...you should make the most of it.

Op I sympathise - I have two dc now but I remember having a one year old and actually when they nap twice you do have limited time to get out and do anything ... Especially when they need you with then at nap time
Ironically the naps are what are filling your day!

I think you have to see it as a choice - if you want nap time snuggles twice a day and to play a lot with your child then you won't have so much time to cook or to get out and about - but why not just accept that?

Enjoy what your life is not what you think it should be - every parent has ideals of art days but that is what children's centres and nurseries are for! And a one year old really doesn't care about that

It's lovely that you are giving your child the love and attention you want to - forget trying to achieve other things - soon enough you will be down yo one lunchtime nap and then personally I would advise get up and out in the morning .... And as someone says you are apending all dy with your child it's ok to encourage them to play on their own

For thousands of years children woul have played with each other while their mothers just got on with life ....don't worry when you have to do the same !

hiya I have an almost 14m old who is also hinting at dropping the morning sleep. here is our day
wake ideally 7am; sometimes earlier. Bottle on waking then brekkie
playtime 730-9am in playroom
845 settle for nap
10-1130 morning activity Window toddler group etc
1130-1145 prep lunch
1145 lunch
1230-1300 nap
1500 or upon waking snack
arvo activity Window til 1645
1645 tea (sandwich and fruit and yog)
1700-1830 play and a bit of cbeebies
1830-1900 bottle, bath bed. husband does this bit when he gets in and I start our tea.

Essentially you need to crack two things - getting him napping in the cot, and efficiency. Really I would just settle him down with a favourite toy or something (my ds has muslin), read a short story and leave him to it. Consistency over a few days will crack it. Then liberation! Once you have nap times to crack on it will feel so much easier.
re mealtimes - I have frozen meals for ds a combo of batch cooking and removing portions of our dinner for him. the most I would do is cook fresh pasta or veggies so 15min max. at tea time a sandwich or scrambled egg - takes as long as the toaster takes to toast a slice. my son inhales his food so is often in and out of high chair in 15min
Regarding independent play we are v
lucky to have a playroom and we have the stair gate across the door - I can therefore hear and chat to him from kitchen. he doesn't roam in our kitchen it's not safe enough. he will play by himself when I need him to.

I think your bedtime routine goes on too long - even allowing for a longer bath - just take a half hour/40min slot and do bath, bottle, teeth, stories and bed.
Also do you have calpol and baby nurofen for the teething?
for me I spend nap times on laundry, kitchen tidying, sometimes a bit of cooking, general tidying and house admin, gardening etc. I am up and showered before the baby wakes up. dh up at 6am for work so I just go in shower after him.

I hope all that is some food for thought, big hugs and good luck cracking the naps

also should add we rarely do two organised things in a day - one is enough for me! might run some errands but I don't find I need to fill the day with activities. Loads of time for that when morning nap properly gone.

All these naps!had 3 close together and none napped much.
Standards certainly slipped but "quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!" Etc

From your post it seems that you try to entertain him every waking minute. That's why you have no time for anything else - in our case, DS is also happy just to potter around, play with his toys and books, watch what I'm doing etc.
Will come over, give me a cuddle and go back doing his own thing. Loves to sit in his highchair and watch when I cook, so no need to feel guilty about that. Being a mother does not mean that you have to dedicate 100% time to your DS - being around you, when you carry out your everyday activities, is just as entertaining for them, as dedicated playtime with teddies.

When dd was 1 she had a 1hour nap after lunch but only in buggy/car. She didn't like playing on her own and needed supervision anyway so I struggled to get anything done. I just went out a lot and did most household chores in the evenings. Probably no help but I do sympathise!

You need to get him napping by himself, that is your time to run round tidying up, emptying washing machine etc. Also he doesnot need constant entertaining and your partner is back by 4pm so when he ces in leave him to do baby and you do the other stuff.
If you have another child you won't be able to give pfb 100% attention all the time.

Also they don't need baths every day. Your bath and bed time takes two hours!