Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

SAHMs - do you ever think .....

57 replies

poppiesinaline · 02/10/2006 13:28

OMG I can't do this anymore I need to go out to work?!

Had enough, staying at home for the 3rd time round is driving me stir crazy. I NEED TO GET OUT!!! Fed up with constant tidying, cleaning, cooking and the whinging crying toddler

Maybe Im just having a bad day but the grass certainly looks greener on the other side at the moment! Sorry, that was a real moan moment wasn't it!?

Anyway. Have any of you seriously jacked it in and gone back to work cos you could stand it no more!!!? And ... was it better?!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
auntymandy · 02/10/2006 13:35

I love it..sorry!!! Find something you can do with your little one and stay at home. Maybe the local pre school could use an extra pair of hands and you could take dc with you?
Try to find some time for you!!! ha ha if only I could do this!! although having me time now!!

Original poster
poppiesinaline · 02/10/2006 13:37

local pre-school? Id rather dig out my eye with a blunt spoon than look after other people's kids - I am trying to get away from kids ! LOL

I do manage find 'me' time etc but I miss the buzz of the 'adult world'

OP posts:
jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 02/10/2006 13:39

i feel like this right now - ive been at home nearly 3 years now and im bored silly.

DH is getting out the army in the next few weeks so I can go back to work while he stays home with the girls (we cant afford childcare) and tbh - I CANT WAIT!

Talking of which, really must get that job application sorted!!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
auntymandy · 02/10/2006 13:40

then meet up with loads of other mums where the kids can entertain themselves a bit!!

PetitFilou1 · 02/10/2006 13:41

The answer from me is yes. I work part time, have had PND both times (much worse first time round though) and still struggle sometimes on the two (or three days, as dh sometimes works one day at the weekend) I am alone with ds and dd. I am a much happier person since going to back to work four weeks ago after being off for a year after having dd. I think SAHMs are amazing as can't do it myself without feeling miserable for the majority of the time. Mind you, we have little family support, I have no close friends where we live and the toddler groups round here (SW London) are about as cliquey as you can get. I don't have any interest in starting a debate as I think mothers should be as happy as they can be - an unhappy mother doesn't make for happy children. You have to do what's right for you.

HauntedsandCastle · 02/10/2006 13:42

another one who loves it...

Munz · 02/10/2006 13:43

yep, afraid I agree with AM - hiya hon erm anyhow, some time's I really miss the adult chat etc, but then I go off to tots and have a goss to my mates and everything's cool - althou I do get fed up with DH sitting down on his arse whilst I tidy around. I miss the money mostly. althou gotta say it, when the boy's not about (like now, I miss him terribley and don't know waht to do with myself)

will yuor DH take the kids on a w/e so u can get out once a week during the day and do something by yourself?

niceglasses · 02/10/2006 13:44

Hi Poppies, think I know where you are coming from. I have 3 as well, have the younger 2 more or less all the time - the older one at school. It is mind numbingly eye bogglingly boring a lot of the time and I get very down at times. I have had almost 5 yrs of it now (gave up the job after last one born). I'm not that creative or inspired in terms of things to do either. In fact it got so bad over the summer that I have made a decision to put the youngest one in a private nursery 2 mornings a week when the middle one is at pre-school so I get some time without them. Sorry, no real advice. For me, I feel better when I'm out of the house whatever it is I'm doing - but I'nm sure you know all this. I can't see me going back to work until the middle one at school as just not worth it in terms of paying out for childcare, but I have considered it a lot - and probably will look for something part time when he does.

If you are really desparate I think Im not too far from you - you could come and moan to me!!! Hope it gets better!!

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 13:45

Do you only have the toddler? It can get boring - I got past that by going out with him/them a lot and I also had a great group of NCT antenatal group friends. Tbh, they saved my life - I would have been bored witless without friends and places to go.

I work from home so it's not quite the same for me anyway. However, working from home means I don't get the 'office interaction' iyswim. I get this now through being on teh PTA and getting involved in organising events etc. It's a bit like 'work' in the sense that you work in a group and plan and execute things if that makes sense.

Must admit - if I did nothing at all I think I would be a bit bored.

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 13:46

Sorry, this is 3rd time round!

auntymandy · 02/10/2006 13:46

glad you did well with avon!!!

Well I am now home with number 4 and 5 and havent worked much since having ds1 almost 16 years ago!! maybe I am an incredibly boring person!!!

Original poster
poppiesinaline · 02/10/2006 15:09

LOL Auntymandy! No, some people just love it and I guess you must be one of them!

Thanks guys for replying. Just been to see DD swimming at school and thought how lucky I am to be able to do this (must give myself a good shake! Being able to be at home is very special) but I still have that urge to join the grown up world!!

I think part the problem is that between DS2's nap and the school runs I dont actually get a large enough chunk in the day to do anything constructive! Plus, all my 'baby pals' stuck to two and have mostly gone back to work so I feel a bit left out

Where do you live niceglasses?

OP posts:
Pruhoohooohoooooni · 02/10/2006 15:12

I was out at work. I much prefer being a sahm. I DO need to escape occasionally but not to, god forbid, work.
I will work again because I will have to. But this time round I am going to choose a desk job with no timetable, I am going to do v little work and a lot of net-surfing on someone else's time.

niceglasses · 02/10/2006 15:51

Poppies - I'm in North Sheilds nr Whitley Bay - I thought you were a North East mum?

I also totally get the thing that most stopped at 2 and then went back to work - I found that a lot.

Original poster
poppiesinaline · 02/10/2006 16:00

no, Im in Surrey.

Ah, now DS2 is whinging again and all the other two want to do is 'chill' after school and I all want to do is MN!!!

OP posts:
niceglasses · 02/10/2006 16:02

Oh am totally and spectacularly wrong then. Bit of a way to go for a coffee!!!! Know what its like tho - Mine are now 6, 4 and 2 and just starting to get easier

Twiglett · 02/10/2006 16:03

Yes I do think it

but at the end of the day I don't think it when I calm down

and I'm also slightly intimidated by the thought of returning to work .. oh how embarrassing is that admission

and I also promised myself I would get youngest through reception at least first

mazzystar · 02/10/2006 16:21

sometimes I get the guardian and scour all the jobs and look on the local authority website and even send of for some application packs

having a bit of a phase of loving it at the moment though, have just found out about a whole bunch of new things to do with the LO and lots of them are fun

moonshine · 02/10/2006 16:28

I'm bored and frustrated and stir crazy too (especially after days like today when 2-year-old ds is constantly whingeing and clinging)! Factors for me include not having a support network at all (no relatives under the age of 80 nearby to help and no longstanding friends around), little opportunity just to have time alone or to do things without a small person attached and just to be able to talk about non-child related things.
I have just started to look for work but part-time work that will cover the cost of childcare and that is fairly flexible seems impossible to come by (even the soul-destroying, kill-me-now type of work).

Am having a bad day too, bah, hurrumph....

Hideehi · 02/10/2006 16:50

I jacked it all in and went back to work ....... for six months then ended up on a drip in hospital for two weeks, the lack of sleep, good food etc literally nearly killed me.
Mummies should be at home for their own sake if not their childrens. Women's lib has shot us in the foot we're now expected to do two full time jobs, I'd like to see men even attempt to.

noonar · 02/10/2006 16:53

could you get a p/t job? i do 2 days a week as a primary schhol teacher, which as, you can imagine, is a bit of a 'busman's holiday' in working mum terms, IFSWIM. i'm now thinking of a career change so that i can get time out, but with a less stressful job- in a childfree environment . what i'm saying is that working p/t just a few hours, might help- but it needs to be the right job for you.

in emotional terms, my story sounds very like petitfolous' tbh, if i do more than 2 or 3 days at a stretch with just the girls, i can start to feel like i'm losing it! i'm ok when we have people to see, but can get very low without adult company.

terramum · 02/10/2006 17:09

Nope - wish Id had a child years ago! Love being at home with DS so much have decided to home educate him

foxinsocks · 02/10/2006 17:18

go back to work poppies

not everyone can manage being at home with the kids all the time - I'm definitely one of them and there are loads of others!

I went back after dd was born and I remember feeling really relieved at the time. Unfortunately, she became ill and I had to give up (but I also remember how stressed I became with dh because I felt he wasn't pulling his weight childcare wise).

Have a chat with dh. If you want to go back to work, you'll need to really think through the childcare, make sure that dh is behind it (not that he has to be but it makes it so much easier!).

There's no shame in it. We're not all the same and we each do what we can to keep ourselves sane!

PetitFilou1 · 03/10/2006 11:16

Sorry for hijack but Noonar At least there is one other person out there like me! I was beginning to think I was the only one...... Mind you probably wrong thread to post on if I wanted reassurance.

frenchconnection · 03/10/2006 13:10

no youre not alone! i need to get out a lot, and keep plugging away at my OU course to keep my brain intact! ive been a SAHM for 7 yrs now, but i do work part time now .. even though the job is childcare!! so never get away from children !
if you feel you want to go back to work and get adult talk time again you should do it!!