What's the worst present you got for your parents as a child?

[dinglefeckingscarecrow]

I was about 8 or 9 and my mother asked for something for the house as a Christmas present.

I hoofed it to Woolys after school, and proudly bought her a shiny new.........

......dustpan and brush

I remember my uncle practically pissing himself when my mum opened it on Christmas day.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

Aged about 7 I made my mum 'thyme wine' (water with twigs in it) labelled in my best writing, having read too much of the Redwall books and thinking this was how you made things. She discovered it on my shelf and was disproportionately furious. I only realized much later she'd sniffed it and thought, from the fermenty boak smell, that I had actually been helping myself to real wine and making potions with it.

I also 'made' her a garden with edible plants in it, including flowers filled with the sticky gunk you get in tubs of glace cherries (which was obviously the most delicious thing ever, especially when in close proximity to smudges of moss). WTF was I thinking?

A few Christmases ago when my DD was about 8, she wanted to choose her present to me so persuaded H to take her to Tesco. Cue Christmas morning and I opened my present to find a nightie size 26. Now I am on the large side but I was a little stunned that she and H thought I was a size 26.
When she asked me if I liked it, I replied that it was a lovely nightie but a little on the large side (pointedly glaring at H). She replied 'But that was the oldest they had- there wasn't an Aged 41'
Ah Bless!

Like several others, I re-gifted my mum her own comb when I was about 5. Took it from her dressing table, wrapped it up and handed it over. What was I thinking

Weirdly she still owns and uses the same comb now ( I am 41)

Rofl at these ESP 'you cunt bully'

I clearly remember being very small and sneaking downstairs on a mission to make my mum breakfast in bed for Mother's Day. She was proudly presented with a glass of water and a spring onion.

when he was diddy ds really wanted to buy me and ironing board cover.
lucky for me he didn't do secrets and told me, I was able to deter him.
I git why when I saw the advert for it.....iT said it made ironing easier...
bless him

I always made presents when I was little, I made mum a lovely bottle of rose perfume one year, I don't think she ever wore it

When older I bought my mum a lovely box of chocolates for mother's day, great you may think, only mother's day was in the middle of lent and she has always been very strict about observing lent, dad shouted at me (it was a genuine mistake)

I got my Dad a notebook and pencil set to take to work one year. A fucking Holly Hobby notebook and pencil set. I am was a strange little thing...

This may possibly out me, but when I was in Italy on a school trip, I bought my brother a frozen pizza and flew it home so he could try a genuine Italian pizza. He ate it too!

The stupid part was, next time I was in Asda, I realised they sold them there too

Although not actually my parents I do remember buying my Gran trifle sponges when I was about 7!

I tried to make a papermache model. We didnt have glue nor newspaper. So I made a big blob of wet toilet roll on a plate. It was meant to be a dog

I was aged about 12 and on holiday with relations. They took me to an amusement arcade where there was one of those put-your-penny-in-and-a-crane-picks-up-something or doesn't. On this occasion the crane picked up a gold pendant with an emerald in it! I was so pleased that I kept it and gave it to my mother as a holiday present. I never saw her wear it but it was kept in her jewellery box for years.

Fairy liquid

It was my little brother, not me. Thought my mum must like doing the washing up as she did it all the time.

I once bought my mum a knickers and bra for Christmas. I was in my early teens and must have thought I was being very grown up. I look back now and wonder what Freud would have made of it!

Actually on that note, the first bra I bought for myself turned out to be a suspender belt (I found it in a bargain bin in a department store, and it looked like a bra to me and seemed about the right size), I got in a right state when I tried to put it on. I was too embarrassed to try to return it.

I usually got her a pair of tights. However I will never forget the time my Dad gave her an iron, he has never lived that down, her response was a sarcastic "oh thanks".

My mum could be a tad abrasive. I got up on Her birthday when I was 10 really early. I fed my siblings including my 2 month old sister, I'd got her some perfume she liked and wrapped it up, I cooked up some bacon and eggs, made her a coffee in our posh cup and saucers, put it on a tray with the newspaper and a little jam jar of flowers from the garden and with my siblings gathered up we took it into her room as a surprise breakfast in bed. First thing she did? Berate me for making her a too small cup of coffee and send me off to make her a proper sized one. She didn't even open the perfume for a while as she knew what it was due to the distinctive box shape.

Oooh, monsterfaery I remember rose perfume. Pick rose petals from neighbours' gardens, put them in a bottle and fill up with water. Then wait a week or so until marinaded nicely to a good compost...

When I was about 8 I bought my mum a huge hair clip. It was actually a very nice one. But her hair was cropped very short at the time. I've no idea where I was expecting her to put it.

When I was a bit younger I read that the best present was something you'd made yourself. So I got an egg box, filled it with shite from the garden - twigs, moss etc., and a snail shell - and proudly presented it to Mum. She was a bit nonplussed.

Aw, now I'm thinking of what DD might give me in years to come, though - I don't think I could ever be disappointed with a well meant present from her. DH is the one who's got to get it right or else.

AlfAlf you just made me cry with laughter at your suspender belt bra and mature present to your mum.

I got my dad a magnifying glass with a light attached for map reading in the dark - I thought it would be useful! And a homemade glasses case that was too small for his glasses...

Iwillorderthefood Your info about your father's present to your mother reminded me that my father took me shopping in Sutton once to buy my mother a fur coat (a luxury in those days). He took me because, at 15, I was about her size so I would try it on. He bought it for what is now £250 (we weren't rich so he must have won the pools). Mother opened it on her birthday and she was thrilled. She never wore it though because it was too heavy. She was small and slight and, although I was her size at the time, I was stronger.

A sachet of shampoo.

Awwww YourMa....that's sad actually. My mum was a bit like that. Nothing ever right.

I do remember bringing my mum a pack of paper home from a school trip once. She was a typist so it seemed the natural choice

fickle my mum had that picture in the living room in the early 90s! It was tastefully positioned next to the picture of a man holding a baby (which was also a clock) and other kissing pictures.