What's the worst present you got for your parents as a child?

[dinglefeckingscarecrow]

I was about 8 or 9 and my mother asked for something for the house as a Christmas present.

I hoofed it to Woolys after school, and proudly bought her a shiny new.........

......dustpan and brush

I remember my uncle practically pissing himself when my mum opened it on Christmas day.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

A box, maybe packet of Pomfret cakes.....

She cringed. A lot...

First page has me in stitches ... I may even read on but not before posting obvs

Er, ignore last post, was for something else

The preset was for my Mum obviously..

We used to have a Secret Santa Shop type thing at my Ds's school where kids could go into a room and buy a present for their parents and have it lovingly wrapped without them seeing what it was (obviously supervised by teachers/helpers). Ds1 bought me the most beautifully scented hand and body lotion set, which I used up and then bought more of a few months later. He bought Dh a brush and comb set (Dh is almost bald). How Dh managed to say thank you and look like he meant it I'll never know. It still gets used though (by Ds1!)

I can't remember what I bought my parents that was awful - I'll have to ask them tomorrow when they come round! I do remember though when I was about 8 and Db1 was 6 we stayed with my aunt for a week and I was determined to take a gift home. I bought my mum a little box decorated in tiny shells (some of which was broken from where DB1 sat on it) and she kept it for years on end. Dad originally got what had to be a shot glass in the style of a beer mug with "Dad" on it. But it was in the bag that DB1 sat on, and smashed. After many tears my aunt took us shopping again, and we ended up getting him a cheque book pen clip (basically a plastic holder with a clip that clamped onto the stub end of the cheque book, and the pen clipped/snapped into the holder). That got used until the pen ran out, and I remember dad being quite disappointed he couldn't get an ink refill for it!

once gave my mother a bottle of anti dandruff shampoo. i bought it because the bottle was pink which i thought was a pretty colour…

I'm red with embarrassment as I write this. My mum took me shopping for my Dad's gift when I was 9. We passed a shop that had a display of sweatshirts in the window. One caught my eye, it was a turtle playing with another turtle. I adored turtles so went in to see if they had my dad's size.
I handed my money over and took the bag to find mum. She agreed it was fabulous and said my father would love it. I was very proud when dad opened it Christmas Day.

Bless my parents. It was a picture of a turtle but it was not playing with another turtle....it was a turtle humping a combat helmet. I used to urge my dad to wear that sweatshirt at every opportunity. He would always say it was too good to be worn just anywhere. I discovered it in his closet after his death. It was at that time, taking a look at picture , that I realised I had gifted my father with a turtle porn sweatshirt...

I gave my Granny a sticky-back plastic pen and nik-nack holder as seen on Blue Peter (& made from a cereal packet). She kept that for years bless her! Also a large pebble/rock randomly half splattered in primary coloured poster paints with a splash of varnish on top. She used that forever as a door-stop for the loo - though thinking now why would you need to prop loo door open really?!!

I gave my mum a smurf...3 years in a row thinking she would have forgotten about it.

A glockenspiel - wouldn't have been so bad if it were mine but I had to share it with my sister ... Give a six and eight year old a beater each and it is not going to end well...

Turtle porn

The turtle pron t-shirt has reminded me, and I am sure she won't mind me sharing, of a very lovely friend of mine's daughter was asked to make a t-shirt as part of their anti-bullying topic at school (where said mum is a teacher).

In only the most beautiful child's wobbly and phonetically almost correct spelling, she produced a work of art which said:

You cunt
bully

There's a gift, right there.

A chocolate willy!
I was 15 and I honestly don't know what I was thinking.

My mother (78) is having a bit of a country phase and had been buying cds for a few weeks. I found her a Doris Day CD in the charity shop, gave it to her and she looked at it and said "oooh, I bloody hate doris day".
I tried

We went to a lot of jumble sales in the late 70's/early 80's. I bought my parents a set of 6, utterly horrible, shot glasses (or something that needed to be drunk in tiny quantities) - they were sort of moulded glass to look facetted AND had transfers of Georgian coach-and-horses on the sides. I even remember having a nightmare wrapping them - eventually used an ice cream tub without a lid, and some of that horrible, thin, garish 70's Christmas paper (that I still get nostalgic for) and my fingers kept on going through the top as I was wrapping it.

SO not my mum's taste but I think they kept them for ages. I was so proud.

I saved up to buy mum a foot spa. I was about 9? I made dad give me a lift to Argos for it! I was SO proud I'd bought it all myself, but it really wasn't her sort of thing at all, don't know why I didn't realise that. Just thought she'd like it cos she was always rushing around and ought to sit down and relax!

When I was about 6 I bought my mum a small, lilac, polyester, heart-shaped cushion. It had scratchy, plastic-y lace around the edge, and a ribbon with a sucker attached so you could hang it from the window. It said 'the best mum in the world' on it.

My mum has it hung from her bed to this day. I'm pregnant and hormonal and may be crying a bit right now.

I was about six and bought my father a roll of Sellotape for Christmas. He was always fixing things round the house and it seemed appropriate! I can still remember his beautifully acted excitement when he opened it!

I remember being about 5/6 going around my mothers cherished garden and cutting all the heads off the flowers, for her birthday. It was like a plant serial killer had struck, my mother was speechless.

My dsd on her first shopping foray for an Xmas pressure for her dad (was about 9yo) all on her own ( I was close by but gave her money to choose something herself for him) came back with a tiny funnel. To this day we have no idea why she thought it would be an ideal Xmas present for him and try as we might he has never been able to find a use for it (I have in the kitchen, but he hasn't in his workshop). I couldn't bring myself to tell her it was wholly inappropriate as she was as pleased as punch with her purchase. I did warn her dad that he needed to have his massively delighted face on when he opened it and I had to suddenly leave the room to check the dinner as he unwrapped it because I couldn't stop the mirth.

Oh and my dh, then my DP, on our first Xmas together (he is a farmer) bought me as my main Xmas pressie, ...... Waterproof overalls. To wear when helping him on the farm.

He hasn't done anything similar since and has not lived it down.

A firelighter for mum. And dad always got the same -- socks and coffee.

ds gave me some shampoo for silver/grey hair for Mother's Day . I managed to smile sweetly (he was 10 and had gone to the shop on his own to buy it). Suffice to say he had no idea it was for grey hair, just thought it looked like a "posh" bottle and was suitably mortified when i told him a couple of years later!