What's the worst present you got for your parents as a child?

[dinglefeckingscarecrow]

I was about 8 or 9 and my mother asked for something for the house as a Christmas present.

I hoofed it to Woolys after school, and proudly bought her a shiny new.........

......dustpan and brush

I remember my uncle practically pissing himself when my mum opened it on Christmas day.

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

A scratch and sniff apron for my mum.

DH once bought his dad disposable pants.

I gave my mum a China duck from my own bedroom because I had no money for a present. I guess I was about 6.
In my defence, I was really fond of that duck and it really was a wrench.......

We made cards for DM & DF, as they forbade us from buying presents after DB2 (7) bought DM a live crab. My best effort depicted DF doing the thing I thought he liked most: passed out surrounded by wine bottles.

slug pellets

I thought it would be a fab idea to get my Dad a pair of hypercolour underpants for Father's Day.

Not good. Not good at all. I'll let you use your imagination.

Slug pellets are a corker of a present.

Marcipex, that''s SO sweet.

I love so many of these. Picking a favourite would be like choosing between my children!!

Special mentions to the hideous shotglass boots, hilarious dolphin cookie jar, the diy bag of paper, slug pellets, fridge pig and many more

I gave my DF ashtrays for several years. At least one of them was made by my own fair hands with air-drying clay and then painted - as I was 6, a masterpiece it was not!

My DF had quit smoking when I was a few weeks old.

The sad thing is that my mother used to love it when I gave her oven gloves, tea towels etc - as she refused to buy new ones herself as there was still 'some wear' left in her old raggedy things (and as I got her better quality oven gloves than she would have bought herself).

My worst was a cat ornament. She hates cats so wtf was I thinking? I bought it at our school's Christmas fayre and I thought it was a bargain... obviously. I am guessing I spent the rest of my money on fairy cakes and the tombola.

It looked very similar to the one attached, but unfortunately it didn't come with wings. If it had I would have won the thread no?

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A 80's style kitchen utensil holder in a weird grey colour.

My brother 2/4 once got her a box of those bath oil melty ball things, she hates baths but gave it a go and they one she used stained her skin - think we laughed for weeks. My poor mum

In what she termed payback she bought me a Hoover for one Christmas but I have to say it is the best most useful present I have ever had, 5 years later it's used daily.

Indeed, Knackered a pussy with wings would have had you right up there!

I feel really sorry for the person who got her mum a box of pins. In this house that would have MADE Christmas and brought a lot of joy to my mum thinking about it for years.

One Christmas I bought my mum a flagon of cornish violets scent (what a pong!) and a pair of socks for my dad, but I only gave him one and held the other one back to give him on his birthday.

I bought my Dad a book called 'The Andropov Files' at a second-hand bookstall when I was about 9. He liked John Le Carre and I assumed that it was probably a spy story.

It was actually a list of statistics, along the lines of 'reported grain production in the USSR during the Andropov leadership'..

Thrilling stuff!

I think I did okay with my own DM, at least I don't remember any faux pas

My own DD on the other hand doesn't do so well - a couple of years ago she bought me a large, tin, brass coloured, with painted tail - "antique" (ahem) peacock

it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen & I'm superstitious of peacock feathers & birds in the house - something I grew up with

t's very twee & about as far away from our usual sense of decor you can get

She was so proud of it though - it sat in our fireplace on her insistence for a couple of years - DH & I managed to "lose it" last time we decorated

My own DM was worse, many stories there, but I think the classic one is...

For my 19th birthday - when I was at my most militant vegetarian, animal rights activist, with pet rabbits & very much a "punk rocker" - she spent a lot of money on buying me a hideous designer bomber jacket - made out of patchwork coney fur

Oh, I've just remembered one & I only found out recently how bad it was when it was given back to me.

In the early days if Blu Ray - Dad was very proud of his new Blu Ray player - so I did quite a bit of research to find the film that made best use if the new technology, that he would like.

Dad was recently confirmed as going deaf - I stupidly didn't realise that the film I bought him - wasn't in English & was subtitled - thankfully it wasn't his only present, but I felt awful when we put the film on to watch here & realised - I was an adult & no excuse

a paint brush

It wasn't the worst present by a long way, but my most memorable one was a wicker washing basket which dm had been wanting for some time as her plastic one was breaking apart. Me and dsis bought it for her. I would have been about 9yo, she would have been 12.

Younger db wanted to know what we'd bought, but he was about 6yo and at that stage when if you told him he would go straight and tell the person what you'd got them.

He came in when we'd finished wrapping up and started a bit of a loud strop because we wouldn't tell him. Dm told us we should tell him, it wasn't fair not to. Eventually he promised in twenty different ways it would be a secret he took with him to the grave and he'd never tell anyone.

So dsis told him df was buying her a puppy and we'd got the basket for the puppy to sleep in. Dm hates dogs in the house.

Db disappeared content with this explanation, and five minutes later dm came up the starirs asking why we'd bought a puppy basket for her as df wouldn't have dared buy her a dog.

Pause while me and dsis point out in not very tactful ways that we were right not to tell db.

Actually she probably was totally aware what it was as disguising it was somewhat difficult.

I bought my mum a 2 inch high china figurine of a little girl in a bonnet and full skirted dress, very kitsch, pastel colours. 71p from the post office shop. I loved it so much, I had to buy it. She was less impressed by it, and let me keep it in my room (over the years, she has made me return presents - the Tiffany porcelain planter, the swarovski bracelet etc - because she doesn't like them).

My dad used to get the Old spice gift set from me every single year, and was very grateful for it (or at least did a brilliant impression of being so)

Rofling at holding one sock back for the birthday!

And yes Jason some of these have unearthed definite parental issues and/or apparent lack of acting skills!

I love that the poster kept waking to look at them all night - it's a reminder that we must absolutely do our best to cherish our children's gifts, in whatever shape or form!

It's the thought, people, THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!

The parents who get cross or grumpy, or insist a gift is returned make me very sad.