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Parenting

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Original poster

DOES YOUR CHILD call you by your FIRST NAME and if so WHAT do you do about it???

80 replies

drosophila · 25/09/2006 20:27

DS used to call us by our first names and we never corrected him. We just used to call each other Mummy and Daddy when talking to him. Eventually he used Mummy and Dad more often. Then DD came along and he reverted to calling us by our first names again.

When asked by his gran why he calls us by our first names he says ' Because X is their name and Mummy is what they do'. I find it hard to argue with that logic. DD is now starting to use our first names. I just wondered if other had similar experience and do you think it is an important issue. DS is 6 and dd is 20 mths.

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anniediv · 25/09/2006 23:01

Also, I am proud of my girls and I want people to know they are mine!

GreenLumpyTonsils · 25/09/2006 23:12

No.

No squared

No cubed

NO.

I can't stand it, for some reason. Being "Mummy" is very important to me.

nulnulcat · 25/09/2006 23:17

i was trying to ignore her when she was about to when all of a sudden she shouted my name and it got my attention and now she does it when she wants something and im trying not to give in!

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CalifornifamousFanjo · 25/09/2006 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinkTulips · 26/09/2006 00:06

dd is 20 months and sometimes calls dp 'do-do' (joey), mostly if shes heard me call him joey a few minutes beofre. 95% of the time its daddy though and i'm always mama.

that said i don't think it would overly bother me what they called me, within reason , it's their decision and calling a parent by first name is just a way to assert their independance and feel more grown up.

airy · 26/09/2006 04:14

My dd calls me mummy when she's talking to me but calls me by my name to other people
Makes sense to me, she knows that the people she's talking to call me by my name so thats how she refers to me when talking to them! lol
Doesn't bother me at all, but wierdly she doesn't do it with her dad
She's 5 1/2 btw and has been doing it for years.

lemonaid · 26/09/2006 08:21

I call my parents by their first names -- apparently I started when 2.5 or so calling them "[Father's first name] and Mummy" and they got fed up and said I should either call them both by their first names or call them Mummy and Daddy. And I went for the first names option.

I will not be following that path with DS. He will continuen to be a "Mummy and Daddy" child if he knows what's good for him .

chester30 · 26/09/2006 08:56

i called my parents by their first names. It hasn't done me any harm. The only problems it has caused are other peoples feelings about it, people thought i was adopted (which I am not) or thought it was strange and hippyish. However I don't intend to do the same with me own children

SSSandy · 26/09/2006 09:01

Dd calls me either mummy or mama depending whether she's in English or German mode. She knows my name but doesn't call me by it, I wouldn't be keen TBH. She does sometimes say Mummy Sandra which is unusual but ok by me. Her friends call me Sandra which is what I told them to say.

Bugsy2 · 26/09/2006 09:32

Mine call me by my first name from time to time. DD much more so than DS. I told her that I didn't mind if she called me by my name, but it made feel really happy when she called me Mummy. Worked a treat!

Socci · 26/09/2006 09:50

Message withdrawn

grandmabet · 26/09/2006 11:54

My husband's brother's children always called my mil "mum", so when my first child came along she naturally assumed she would also call her by that name. However, I strongly objected and said that I was her mum and mil was her grandmum. A furious row broke out and the rift was never healed. I eventually divorced that husband, partly through a series of rows emanating from that mil wanting to take over!

NatalieJane · 26/09/2006 12:03

My DS quite often calls both me and DH Babe or Darling, or something else as disgustingly sweet, DH and I very rarely call each other by first names, so he picks it up from us. It was only when DS started taking an interest in how words (especially names) are spelt that he even realised that we both had different names

PandaG · 26/09/2006 12:05

Same as HM - my 2 have called us by our first names from time to time, and I say yes, that is my name but you 2 are the only people who can call me Mummy, anyone can call me Panda but you are special. Most of their friends call me by my first name, and that is fine by me, although one child always calls me DS'smum, even tghough I have told him he can call me Panda!

HuwEdwards · 26/09/2006 12:05

oh yes, they both do. We look mock-disapprovingly and they think it's bloody hilarious.

Piffle · 26/09/2006 12:08

DD 4 is experimenting she always calls me mummy but calls her daddy by his pet name (Ki) a lot and also refers to grandparents by their names, they humour her I imagine its a phase as I recall ds going through it at about the same age

JessaJam · 26/09/2006 12:09

DH has always called his parents by their names - it was what they called each other so it was what he picked up on, although they referred to each other as mummy and daddy to him iyswim. he is the oldest of 4. His siblings called their parents all sorts of combinations - most commonly moving from mummy and daddy to Mummy and XXX and then when reaching mid-late teens calling them both by their 'real' names.

TaraPalmerTomkinsonsNose · 26/09/2006 12:20

i htink tis poncetastic

JessaJam · 26/09/2006 12:24

No, what is poncetastic is the fact that DH's brothers are reverting, in their twenties, to calling their mum "mummy" again...

TaraPalmerTomkinsonsNose · 26/09/2006 12:25

yes true
but kids callign theri parents Jnae or whaveter
ponce upppity kids
YUK

GreenLumpyTonsils · 26/09/2006 12:26

My best friend calls her mother and father by their Christian names and although I have known her for many years I still find it makes me wince. I do find it rather poncy I'm afraid - they seem to think it makes them all all bohemian intelligentsia. To me it just jarrs.

TaraPalmerTomkinsonsNose · 26/09/2006 12:28

ooh yes
theyll involove them in their pension plans soona dn ask them if they want to wirt ehtir own shcoolr eport

BarefootJasnem · 26/09/2006 12:28

My dds called us both by our names until school age (dp and I don't call each other mum and dad, so they didn't hear it). I didn't correct them (although I do when dd1 calls my parents by their names (along the lines that there are only 4 people in the whole world who can call them grandma, etc...). It didn't bother me, and I was mummy as soon as they were hurt or upset.

Since starting school they almost never do it, and I'm guessing ds won't as his sisters will teach him mum/dad.

JessaJam · 26/09/2006 12:28

There is a difference between kids calling their parents by real names because that is what the parents have 'taught them', in particular when it is about not treating a child like a child but like a mini-grown up. Often goes with hothousing said child in several foreign languages etc ( see example in the film Parenthood) - and kids who pick up on it from overhearing others saying it.

BarefootJasnem · 26/09/2006 12:30

DP calls his father by his name, but didn't know him as a child, and it doesn't seem "right" to call him dad now.

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