Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

[sleepinbeauty]

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

I work two days and I am at home the other three, both my children are now at school and I have no plans to go back to work full time. The reason for this is because I like to be able to get my housework done and my shopping whilst I have the house completely to myself. Its not a problem for us as a family as I am lucky enough to be paid well enough and DP too to be able to do this so why do I need to go back to work full time. I love taking and bringing my kids home and finding out whats going on at school, I cannot imagine being not able to do that.

LOL at Jamie Scooter.

Regarding Morning posts questions...sorry Sobernow but all based on MY personal perception rather than what I have read in the paper!!

"The question of intelligent women giving up careers that they trained for" - Personally I hated my job & only did it for the money - I was very good at it and earned stacks but the time I now spend with my children is worth far more to me. I take them to swimming lessons and play educational games with them, I just love being with them rather that with a bunch of workaholics who use words like generic and proactive and dont feel you have done a proper days work without 2 hours overtime!!

"The question of what happens AFTER the children don't need you at home" - I hope I will find a way to earn a living that I will enjoy.

"The question of whether this argument is really a perception of 'the idle rich' from the working classes" - no answer to that one.

"The question of falling into horrible gender based roles that we spent centuries trying to escape" - Wasnt part of the fight to give women the right do do what THEY wanted to do rather than what "society" felt they should. The fact that this post exists proves that its a fight which has not been won!!

Hello thought id join in read this thread last nite and pmsl !

I am stay at home mum but through a head on car crash that meant i lost my job and couldnt go back to work ds was 10 mths old at time, however i became self employed and im still a stay at home mum so im lucky ive got best of both worlds i dont financially need to work as I set up a business sold it and made profit which help set up dh as self employed ! i do odd work for him and im usborne bookd organiser, i do with my kids all out of school activities for eg

DS Football x 4 sessions a week and swimming x 1 session

DD Ballet and tap dancing, horse riding, gymnastics, irish dancing and swimming

i still have friends for tea after school and have my friends during day and i love my life i wouldnt swap for anything

sorry about length of this but basically what im trying to say is:

I am stay at home mum who works does everything with my kids and coffee mornings and i AM DEFINATELY NOT LAZY

SAHM - Some are not SAHM by choice, they are def NOT lazy or do they all have secret cleaning fairy that does all housework and shopping etc and just because they are sahm dont assume they dont work there happy thats off chest now will leave you all to it incase i get a mouthfull of abuse ! go easy as im a bit of a newbie

I stay at home because my husband earns £30000 plus a year and can afford to, and all the work I do is voluntary. I am a chef, a nanny, a babysitter, a hooker, a nurse, a cleaner, a night shift worker then full time day worker when kids are ill. I dont feel sorry for my husband at all. He works, but does not do ANY house work, his meals are always prepared for him, he has a constant supply of clean clothes, he goes out to golf on his days off, plays x-box link up at his mates on his nights off. I would say I work harder longer hours than him and I get £20 pocket money for my trouble and no days off, or sick pay. I wish I could do sweet FA all day. Maybe a nice office job or something would do, with full time day care for the kids and a cleaner cos I dont have time to do my own, oh and frozen meals....I think this is called LAZINESS

And by the way, I love my life, my children are my life and I am very fulfilled with my role as housewife and mother.

appalause for the 'quo'

Well said QUO i forgot im hooker too ! lol

SG - that has always been my point "Oh, women fought for us not to have to do this, it is terrible and throwing away what we were given" (as I have been told in the past, not a direct quote)

Women fought for us to CHOOSE what we wanted to do.

If you can afford not to work, don't want to, and the earner doesn't have a problem with it, then go for it!

Carolina, I used to work in Investor Relations & Financial PR. Now I work for a small finance house & do a bit of PR, a bit of marketing, bit of event management & even a bit of office management. Its ok, it pays reasonably well but it sure as hell doesn't make me think what a great career!!!

Ahh c'mon girls. This is bollocks. I don't think there are any easy options - you weigh it up you make your choice. Its the pple with no choice that we should be fighting for, not fighting btwn the pple who are quite happy with their lot. If pple can afford not to work when they have kids at school, or choose not to work, why should it bother anyone? Perfectly fine and nothing to do with anyone else. Move on, find something useful to moan about.

What annoys me is the pressure on single mothers to work when it seems that society views it as acceptable for married mothers to 'sit on their arses'. I've been both single mum and now married mum but have continued to support myself and various children as I suppose I got used to it when I was on my own.

I think that it would be lovely to be a permanent SAHM but I would a) feel too guilty about not contributing financially and b) we can't afford such a luxury. I think everyone has the right to make their own choices but my children are very proud of the fact I have always had a career although they sometimes get envious of friends SAHM's who cook their kids breakfast and the like because they haven't got to get to work!

But "the truth is they have probably bouht into a lifestyle where they show off their social status by staying at home, lunching with friends, cooking nigella and jamie scooter and wittering on endlessly about the best schools in the area." aren't reasons at all. It's a bunch of prejudiced assumptions.

Financially I don't have to work. I was made redundant when on maternity leave with DS1 and had no job to go back to. Should I take a job for the sheer hell of it in order to justify my existence and then have to pay someone else to look after my children after school or in the holidays or when they are ill?

How about if I said that people on benefits just sit around all day lunching in McDonalds and smoking fags? Or that it would be perfectly acceptable to ask them what they do all day and why don't they get a job? That's complete bllocks too and people would be quite right to call it that and no doubt I'd be called prejudiced into the bargain. But it's Ok to say equivalent things about SAHMs and expect them to justify their existance for some reason. which is also f-ing bllocks.

Heavens Quofan, I have a 'nice' office job, a cleaner & some childcare but I spend my life chasing my own arse! Really struggle to see how going out to work could be described as lazy.

Why is it that women criticise other women's choices so much?
I am a SAHM at the moment (2 pre-schoolers) but plan on retraining and returning to work once the youngest is at school. Personally I am finding it really tough being at home all the time and having to justify my expenditure to my DH, who is generous but doesn't understand why my mascara has to cost sooo much..I am itching to get back to work but thats not so for everyone and nor should it be!

Jeez, Motherhood piles guilt onto us enough as it is: if we work then we are supposed to feel guilty for neglecting our family if we don't then we are just bone idle!
Live and let live.

horses for courses. there's more to life than housework and work!

doesn't anyone have any interests anymore?

i can't wait til my kids go to school. i can play lots and lots of chamber music, sort out the garden, do a couple of exams, finally do a maths degree at ou.

i've tried the career-in-the-city job - it was bollocks. my dh tried retiring - hated it. so he works, i'm self-employed, work when i want and look after one cute dd, looking forward to a few more.

"struggle to see how going out to work could be described as lazy"

or being a sahm? - it depends on the circumstances. My last job, there was hardly anything to do, in fact spent most of my time mumsnetting - but in the OP's eyes I had a job so that's ok?

Likewise you can be a sahm and do naff all all day or you never stop. I do wish people would not make sweeping generalisations about others choices.

"Really struggle to see how going out to work could be described as lazy."

Bugsy, it can be described as lazy in the same was as being a SAHM can in the OP. ie incorrectly .

Hear hear Jools. It's all about generalisations here and it stinks
Everyone's circumstances are different.
I do love the sound of warty's plans though I must say

I have the same trouble seeing being a SAHM lazy. Just a view from the other end of the spetcrum. FWIW, I have worked full time before I had children, and I know where you are coming from, but to be asked 'what do you do all day' really gets to me. I started at 5 this morning. Got packed lunches ready, did all ironing, hoovered, dusted, made breakfast, got kids to school, did dishes, got hubby sorted for golf. I am now having a cuppa and breakfast myself and half an hour on mumsnet. Then Ill be washing 2 mattresses, changing 2 beds as I have 2ds that still wet the bed. I will do the bathroom, hoover upstairs and then prepare tea for kids coming in, probably a chicken and veg dinner, so I am far from lazy. But people who go out to a paid job never seem to be asked 'so what do you do with yourself all day'.

Yesterday I didn't have work on but I spent 2.5 hours at a PTA committee meeting in the morning, had ds3 home in the afternoon, and had another PTA meeting in the evening. Did housework and financial stuff inbetween. I barely had time to eat.

I don't care what people do, I don't care if people moan about it or not (come on, we're British, we love a good moan!) - as long as you're happy most of the time, that's all that matters.

Yep, far far too many generalisations and wrong assumptions. Really, you know nothing about anybody's life except your own. How you can describe someone as 'lazy' based on 'seeing' them or a label is next to prejudice in my book.