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Original poster

Stay at home mums with kids at school, why dont they get jobs??

910 replies

sleepinbeauty · 20/09/2006 16:32

Just a bit hacked off with mums at school, they moan about having no life away from their kids/ not much money, yet they all seem to refuse to get jobs or careers!
why do some women just want to do sweet FA all day when their kids are at school? They seem content for their husbands to slog their guts out at work while they drink cups of tea and watch daytime tv! Dont get it! i think its called laziness??

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WigglewithabigfatWoggle · 20/09/2006 21:57

sleepinbeauty if you're hard at it how would you know how many cups of tea are being drunk? Sounds like the green eyed monster to me.

If working makes you as arrogant as you I think I'll resign.

Sobernow · 20/09/2006 21:58

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hunkermunker · 20/09/2006 21:58

Mummydear, do you live in London?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting
mummydear · 20/09/2006 22:00

Surrey .

morningpaper · 20/09/2006 22:03

sobernow I disagree

I think this is a very important question and I think people's responses are very interesting

mummydear · 20/09/2006 22:06

Hunkermunker - If your about to mention about mortages and cost of living we manage , but luxuries etc are out of the window for time being.

We are very lucky that I could take a break from work, alot of women in the area have to work to keep up mortage payments.

Sobernow · 20/09/2006 22:11

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onlyjoking9329 · 20/09/2006 22:14

well niether myself or DH do paid work outside the home,we live on benefits i used to work and had a very good job, but then we had three children who all have autism, we could not get child care we have no family support either. it takes two of us to do the school runs so we really cannot work, having said that i do two days at my dd's special needs school and also run an autism support group , so i don't consider myself lazy,

JennyLee · 20/09/2006 22:14

people can do what they want, stay at home or not and stop feeling bloody guilty either way women!!!
At least some of us have a choice nowadays. work if you want to or have to. stay at home if you want to or can .who bloody cares we are all women and all want the best for our kids.

morningpaper · 20/09/2006 22:15

The question of whether women should give up work, take on the full role of domestic 'housewife', and be reliant on a husband for financial security now and for the rest of her life

The question of intelligent women giving up careers that they trained for

The question of what happens AFTER the children don't need you at home

The question of whether this argument is really a perception of 'the idle rich' from the working classes

The question of falling into horrible gender based roles that we spent centuries trying to escape

all important questions hidden somewhere in this thread ...

hunkermunker · 20/09/2006 22:17

Mummydear, I did wonder because often it's people who live in the wilds of nowhere who talk about it being possible to manage on one salary.

We don't do luxuries either - tiny house, no holidays, expensive clothes, car, etc - but I still need to go back to work next month. It's not always possible to make cutbacks so that you can live on one income.

SSSandy · 20/09/2006 22:18

A lot of people can't do what they want. A lot of women who would like to stay at home have to go out to work. A lot of women who would love to go back to work can't find a job, or can't find a job they can do. A lot of women who are on benefits would like to be in a different situation.

It isn't always about choice or laziness.

expatinscotland · 20/09/2006 22:18

LOL @ OP!

My mum hasn't worked outside the home since 1967, the year my sister was born.

Believe me, she did a lot more than 'sweet FA'. A more accomplished, classy and fun to be with woman you'd be hard pressed to find.

Well, my dad certainly thinks so. He's been married to her for 42 years.

He slogged his guts out, too. B/c he wanted to give his family the kind of life he never had and enjoy a nice retirement, too, which he now does.

And he never resented my mother's staying home. In fact, he supported her no matter what.

B/c, as he said, if I wanted an easy life, I could have just as easily stayed single and never had a family. So if you ever have a man who makes you feel like a burden, dump him quick! You're worth more than that.

What a larf!

lilymolly · 20/09/2006 22:19

Well said christie1

expatinscotland · 20/09/2006 22:21

Mortgages. LOL!

Try rent for many of us.

Sobernow · 20/09/2006 22:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummydear · 20/09/2006 22:23

Hunkermunker - if we couldn't cover our living expenses then I would still be working. Buut we have cut back on alot of things but just about keep ourselves afloat.

As my husband works long hours and has to go off at short notice it became very difficult for me to carrying on in my career without alot of juggling.

Good luck with going back to work.

hunkermunker · 20/09/2006 22:32

Thanks, MD. I am extremely lucky in that my job is v flexible, I love what I do, the boys will be with their grandparents and I don't have to go full time - I'll just have to express at work, which I'm not looking forward to!

chipmonkey · 20/09/2006 22:46

I have to work. I would love to be a SAHM not because I think it is easy ( The days I spend at home are much harder work than the days I spend in work) but because I love to be there when ds1 and ds2 get out of school, I love to help them with their homework and IMO do a better job at that than the creche do. I like to cook nice dinners which is tricky if you come straight in on a work day.
Logistically it would be difficult for me to find work just during school hours. I'm an optometrist and the busy hours in my line of work are evenings and weekends not school hours.

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 22:58

Expat - your post of 10.18 is spot and I truly love you

Why do people get hung up on 'gender roles we spent centuries trying to escape' - well, I quite like my 'gender based role' (that I do when I'm not working!). Working this way is perfect for some families, including mine. The thought of going out to work and putting the children in some sort of care because I wasn't around to pick them up etc fills me with horror.

Gobbledigook · 20/09/2006 23:00

Sorry chipmonkey - I didn't see your post and that now looks terribly insensitive. It is and I'm sorry. I understand that there is not always a choice to made, but I resent the judgement where there is a choice and the choice to stay at home is taken.

marthamoo · 20/09/2006 23:05

Surely it's not a month since the last full moon?

handlemecarefully · 20/09/2006 23:11

DD spent her first full day at school recently - Having collected her at 15.15 I reflected later that I felt that I had hardly seen her all day...(we walked through the front door at around 16.00 and then I busied myself making dinner, and then before I knew it she was due for bed).

Well if I felt like that as a SAHM, how little would I see her if I was working and she had after school care?

I sympathise with those who financially have to work and need dual salaries. I'm priviledged that I don't.

Panyanpickle77 · 20/09/2006 23:28

What is it with some women?
Being a mom is difficult enough, without other moms passing comments. We all feel guilty about one thing or another.
I have no doubt SAHM feel bad that the OH is their financial support, but I am also certain that the majority of working moms feel guilty about not spending "enough" time with their kids.
Why such division?
How about we all support each other for a while, and help the guilt disperse? (Or am I just being niave?)

handlemecarefully · 20/09/2006 23:40

Which women would that be Mrsaek?