Do you find parenting easier or more difficult than people make out?

[moomin35]

Do you find being a parent a lot easier than you were warned or equally do you find it tougher than you thought it would be? What do you find easier/harder?

Baby - easier; toddler - harder. I think different people find different stages more / less challenging.

Easier most of the time, but this is because I work FT and DH is very part time as he wanted to be more of a SAHP. So most of my time with DC is "fun" rather than "eat your greens" type stuff.

Am pg with DC2 though...mat leave will bring me back to reality (DH will be working FT while I am off!)

I am not a natural mother.
Found the baby/toddler years horrific.
But I find it easier parenting teens, even though dd has severe ocd and anxieties.

My DD is wonderful, all I could ever hope for... But she really suffers with reflux and the realities of having a baby has been a massive shock to the system. I feel like I'm just playing catch-up half the time.

It's about what I expected.

Much harder in general than expected. Breastfeeding was murderously painful but once it was pain free, 3 months+ in, baby stage was ok, toddlers hard work but ok. Having real issues with eight year old DS now though which making me (almost) question why had kids at all. On hols at the moment and I was in tears at the beach today.. he constantly starts fights (fists, kicking) with his 5 year old brother. Objects to almost everything we suggest doing. And when I say objects I mean physically will not get in the car. Really stubborn personality, very easily bored, controlling us. Really exhausted with it. He needs routine and very clear boundaries which I think we don't do as well as we should. Can't wait till back to school. So it's harder or easier depending on the parent and their style and parenting ability but also depending on the child. We have three others who seem so easy in comparison . sorry got a bit carried away there

So far easier. Think I've got a good
content baby though.

Harder, and I have a content baby! It's the sheer relentlessness of it. I'm a lifelong insomniac so thought id be fine with the lack of sleep. The problem is that now, on the rare occasions I do go to sleep, I get woken straight back up again! On the other hand I also find it far more rewarding than I thought I would.

Mostly easier.

Although now my eldest is entering his teens...harder.

Much harder when they were babies and little, the older they get the easier I find it. I was a horrific teenager and reckon I may even cope when they are teenagers.

About the same - but I did expect it to be hard. It is the relentlessness, especially if you have no family able to give you and dp a day or evening off. Also hadn't realised how much extra housework kids would create!

The baby bit, after the first 3 months, was fine, but 1 year onwards v hard going. Dd barely napped from age 1 and was/is very active and attention seeking so she is very demanding. She is 2.7 now.

Baby stage harder even though breastfeeding was easy and DS was mostly settled. Hated the baby stage. Everything post 18 months has been great, and really enjoying the toddler stage. I do work FT but v flexibly.

Easier than I expected (but I think I was very realistic about parenthood) and I have a very easy going DS. But he's a toddler so lots can change and it hasn't all been plain sailing!

Different - I found the sleep deprivation and nappies easier to cope with than I imagined (turns out I cope ok with less sleep than most). But the emotional side of things is much harder than I thought, and took me by surprise.

It has been pretty much as i expected. I have found some things easy and some things hard. However I may have had pretty low expectations because as it turns out my eldest has asd and is really hard work. I assumed for years that it was that tough for everyone. That it was just what parenting was like until friends started giving me funny looks and saying "no. I don't worry about that" or "actually that seems rather extreme".

Ha ha

Apart from struggling initially with breast feeding I found the early baby stages a lot easier than expected. I hadn't realised quite how much time a small baby would take up though.

However, I have found 2 plus far far harder than I ever expected, I sometimes struggle to understand how people can have 2 children!!

DD1 much much harder than I expected ...but she is 'difficult' and always has been. She is lovely, kind hearted but awkward and stubborn and oppositional and LOUD. And I was working full time from her being 3 months - I dread to think what it would have been like as a SAHP. She was a tricky baby - didn't sleep, chronic colic, a toddler who didn't listen and threw spectacular tantrums - now a teen with attitude (but not as bad as a teen yet as I was expecting). I am almost sure she has ADHD (not diagnosed - just has a lot of the symptoms).
DD2 - 6yrs later - a breeze. Polar opposites. Slept better, less colicky, more obedient, calmer. Although now 7 she is 'finding her voice' - not quite as angelic -she has NEVER had a tantrum. I probably have had to raise my voice to her less than 10 times in her entire life - she cries if I do - and I don't meaning screaming in her face shouting -I mean telling her to do something in a louder than usual voice. Her most trying behaviour has been crying 'I'm sorry mummy' too much, when she has been told off ...

Harder as they get older

Find it easier than I expected. Dd now 4 and always been an amazing sleeper. Think that's probably helped.

I've found it easy tbh possibly because I'm one of six myself and so there were no surprises and maybe because the five children I have suit my style of parenting.It helps that I have the patience of a saint too I suppose.
Four are adults now but we escaped unscathed through the teenage years and even with autism thrown in with the youngest two hasn't been too bad (it's generally been fighting the bureaucracy that's been awful)
It has been great and I'm enjoying having adult children now as well although I find it pretty odd how now my children are protective of me.

Nine days out of ten, I find it much easier than I thought, but that one day when nobody has had much sleep, more than balances it out.

However, this is with two, one was a doddle compared to all the horrors I was told to expect. I have a suspicion that my friends may have exaggerated the downsides to try and make me feel better about long time ttc though, so perhaps not the best person to ask.

The grub year when they're just a lump and all you're doing is keeping them alive basically is a lot easier than anything else. The toddler to 5 is hard.. then it's a lot easier until the teens when your previous parenting comes home to roost and you reap what you have sown with regards to what kind of relationship you have with their father or how you've dealt with trying behaviour/spoiling them/over protective/ etc etc.

If you're In a relationship where you're screaming at each other or concentrate on how bad it Is And how it affects you at the detriment of your kids then end it for their sakes, because if you leave it too long the teens will be hell.

I think having support makes a difference too, DH works very long hours, we live 180 miles from our nearest family members and we didn't move here til I was 24 weeks pregnant so don't have any really close friends around. I don't get a break, ever.