Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Do you find parenting easier or more difficult than people make out?

57 replies

moomin35 · 21/08/2014 13:20

Do you find being a parent a lot easier than you were warned or equally do you find it tougher than you thought it would be? What do you find easier/harder?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TooFly · 21/08/2014 21:45

I find babies much, much easier than other people make out.
But toddler years + much harder.

stillenacht1 · 21/08/2014 22:06

Harder. Far harder. But then I have teen DS and severely autistic DS.

TheOldestCat · 21/08/2014 22:17

So so much harder.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

plinth · 21/08/2014 22:21

Easier.

DS is fairly straightforward and I'm not the type to stress. He's fed, rested and vaguely entertained. We rub along.

I'll update once we're through the terrible twos though. I'm aware it could all change!

plinth · 21/08/2014 22:23

magical, me neither! and I'm an LP.

I actually like it though - we're a little team of 2 and we please ourselves

notadoctor · 21/08/2014 22:24

I find the actual parenting easier than I expected. I think I've been blessed with very content children but they're very little (2.8yo and 5mo) and so I'm aware that could change at any moment!

I've found the 'emotional fallout' of becoming a parent harder than I expected. I've changed much more than I ever thought I would. I'm far, far happier but it's been at a cost to some friendships and to a lesser extent my relationship.

QTPie · 21/08/2014 23:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 22/08/2014 06:55

Definitely easier. 17 months and 4 years old.

Hence why I'm desperate to have a third.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 22/08/2014 07:07

I think the fact that mine are both very good sleepers contributes to my attitude that so much easier than expected. As I write this, both are still fast asleep and have been since 7am. Meanwhile I am enjoying a quiet coffee and cereal. It helps, enormously.

treaclesoda · 22/08/2014 07:13

I found parenting my first so much easier than people implied it would be and frankly I got quite fed up with other parents' dramatics about how it was all such hard work, and they would would give anything for a break.

Then I had my second and I understood much better, as he is just very very difficult.

treaclesoda · 22/08/2014 07:15

but having said that, babies I found fairly easy in both cases. I knew there would be sleep deprivation, and there was, and it was miserable, but I still found it ok over all.

runlikeagirl · 22/08/2014 07:29

Much , much harder. Dc are now 5 and 2. It feels relentless, exhausting and repetitive. Dd still doesn't sleep through and often wakes at 5am. I feel like I have completely lost the person I used to be.

LazyRohazy · 22/08/2014 07:38

I only have one 2.5 yr old, but I think it's basically what I expected. By that I mean that some days are super easy and others are really hard, so I guess it all balances out in the end.

When she was a baby she was not a sleeper (to put it mildly) and I found the lack of sleep a lot tougher than I thought I would. Once I started getting a bit more kip things definitely improved.

NCISaddict · 22/08/2014 07:50

0-18 months easier
18 months to 3 harder
3- 18 easier.

That followed true for all three children, it helped that they were all good sleepers though.

chinamoon · 22/08/2014 07:57

Just shows different people have different strengths. Gamerchick I hate that stage. It's Groundhog day, mindless and thankless.

First two years far harder. But I had two under two one of whom was very ill and didn't sleep for more than an hour without waking up and screaming for 20 mins in pain, so we never ever got more than one hour sleep at a time. It felt like torture. I mean that. I used to think at least if this were a torture chamber I could get strength from hating the torturer but I love mine and that makes it even harder. No one who has not been through such severe sleep deprivation that they forget their own name and hallucinate all the time has any idea how tough it is.

But moving on from then on, in comparison, nothing phased us. DC are demanding and loud and one has HFA but they are so loving and joyful and inquisitive and hilarious that stuff I know friends would find hard work (they've said so) doesn't bother us at all. I have adored being a mum ever since we got a solid five hours sleep a night. It's easier, far more fun, exciting, rewarding. DC are tweens/early teens now and it is way better than anything else I've done. I used to have a glamorous job which I loved and now I have a creative job which I also love but none of it comes close to being a parent. Without doubt the most challenging, rewarding fun it's possible to have.

Cupcakes123 · 22/08/2014 07:58

9 days in as a mum for the first time and so far touch wood am finding it easier than what other more experienced interfering people had told me it would be like....

I am completely besotted with my DS and loving every minute

Babiecakes11 · 22/08/2014 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NCISaddict · 22/08/2014 08:01

Congratulations [Cupcakes] Enjoy every moment of those newborn snuggles.

NCISaddict · 22/08/2014 08:02

Cupcakes That'll teach me to proof read before pressing post

JuniperTisane · 22/08/2014 08:06

I imagined before I had children it would be very hard. I was wrong. Its very very hard. I am not a natural parent.

JoandMax · 22/08/2014 08:08

Easier in terms of the physical/practical side, mine are 4 and 6 now and it's a piece of cake! But they get on brilliantly and have same interests so no squabbling as yet, that may change.... Neither were good sleepers, DS2 is still in our bed every night now but I expected that as both me and my brother woke til we went to school!

What I hadn't expected was how much they would affect me emotionally, DS2 was very poorly and in and out of hospital until he was 2 and even though thankfully he's absolutely fine now it still haunts me and has changed me. I completely lost who I was and all my confidence and self esteem and became so anxious. I'm working on it but I still don't feel 'over it' but I don't know if I ever will be, that I wasn't expecting.

Nocturne123 · 22/08/2014 08:11

Baby stage I found so much easier than I was told . It's only now I realise how much a newborn sleeps during the day .. I had a relatively clean house then .

15months later and I live in a bomb site! Although lovely in parts , I'm finding this part a lot more tiring/frustrating than I had imagined !

insancerre · 22/08/2014 08:11

Mine are 25 and 17
The hardest part was the early teenage years
The easiest bit was babies.
The best bit was the toddler years, I really enjoyed them both as toddlers but then again i worked in childcare for many years.
I feel very lucky to be involved in other peoples toddlers lives but I couldn't work with teenagers

Deelish75 · 22/08/2014 08:39

I was a nanny caring for children aged between 6mths and 13yrs for a long time before having DS, so I did have an inkling into what I was letting myself in for.

I found the first 6-8wks hard, trying to workout what he wanted (sleep or feed) but once DS started to settle into a routine it became easier. By 3-4mths he was sleeping 7-8hrs at night and had a consistent daytime routine which made me planning my day much easier. I found the ages of 3&4 quite challenging, he was quite challenging but wouldn't/couldn't listen to reason, luckily we are now coming out the other side of that and now some quite funny conversations. I found the practicalities of parenting quite easy, (same as nannying) but the emotions of it hit me like a train, I didn't believe it was possible to love and want to protect something so much, especially when they don't give you much back to start off with.

The other difficulty that I had wasn't really to do with parenting, but more to do with the expectations of other people (mainly older generation). One particular family member we only saw every 5-6wks really struggled with letting me get on with it, couldn't accept that we'd moved on from various stages, at times I had to really argue that we are doing it my way, not hers. It's easy to smile and nod, but when someone is repeatedly questioning and putting pressure on you it is very difficult, and it left a mark on DS's early years.

IShallCallYouSquishy · 22/08/2014 09:10

Baby- pretty easy
Toddler- challenging but fun
Baby and Toddler- some days I cry

It's a lot harder than I thought in some respects but in others it's wonderful

Flip

1 2 3