Is this normal in a 12 year old girl?

[hmc]

12 year old dd can be pleasant and engaging but is far too often selfish, self-centered, egocentric, ill tempered, scathing and prone to tantrums when thwarted. 10 year old ds by contrast has his moments but is generally a good deal more considerate and reasonable. Am actually wondering if she has some sort of personality disorder....

Sounds normal to me. Hormones turns them into Kevin the Teenager don't they?

Sure, but is it really normal to have so little regard for other people's feelings and concerns and to always put yourself first?

Too early to think about personality disorder at 12 by about 13 years! Probably just a phase/hormones/influence of peers.

Amazed you got to 12 before this appeared. Hopefully since mine started this attitude problem earlier it might finish earlier too doubt it but we live in hope.

Well I really do hope she grows out of it but it seems to run deeper than just classic teenager behaviour - she seems to have absolutely no empathy or consideration for anyone else. Perhaps that is just normal and a phase?

selfish, self-centered, egocentric, ill tempered, scathing and prone to tantrums when thwarted.

Am actually wondering if she has some sort of personality disorder....

Yup.

12 year old boys too. Unfortunately.

I have an 11 year old that fits that description.

< sigh >

Yes, completely normal. It's very wearing.

Well this is actually quite encouraging - perhaps she might ultimately come out the other side and be a half decent person!

Sounds like my 11 year old dd, I just smile and nod, smile and nod!

I remember being like that too, thankfully I grew out of it! Totally normal, at that age the whole world (or the only bits of it that matter!) just exists in your wee bubble. One day her bubble will get bigger.

Mine too. After 3 boys it's a bit of a shock tbh I'm upset by her attitude almost daily. Luckily I have a few friends with older dds who I often call on for reassurance.
I hear the book "the teenage brain" explains it all and they actually have no capacity for empathy for a while.
You have my sympathy.
Mine also has an insatiable appetite largely for junk and can be devious and sneaky to fulfill it.

Mine is the same have posted before as thought she was abnormal but apparently it is part of growing up x

Well thank God for mumsnet

I agree, I'm sitting here reading it out to dh who is equally exasperated by her.
We are on holiday at the moment and so she's even worse everywhere we go she just asks for more and more and more no matter how much she has.
Vile.

Snap - we are on holiday too and same scenario!

I was vile at that age. When DD becomes a preteen karma is going to come back and bite me on my self centred stroppy 12 year old arse.

I am not looking forward to it.

We go to a market or yesterday a water park and straightaway it's an I've cream (biggest she can get) sulk if I say no, then digs into the picnic getting really stroppy if dh or I so much as have a crisp

DM always says teenagers/preteens have to be ghastly or you'd never let them leave the nest!

Wise words!

Ahem.

Actually teenage brains have evolved to discover a growing hatred of their parents as the teens become sexually mature. Zillions of years ago the ones who liked their parents stayed at home and thus didn't reproduce. So their genes died out. The ones who turned into snarling teen monsters moved out, reproduced and passed on the "hating parents" genes. Without the snarling there would be no human race now.

Kinda sad.

...and apparently, they don't improve until they are 19+ . Four more ish years of it from Ds, just as Dd will be 11 and just starting. Nice!

zero I will tell DM. Will add fuel to her fire.

My 13yo dd is like it sometimes at home but her teachers praise her for her kindness and empathy to others at school. I think teens may be vile towards their parents and nicer to others.