Is this normal in a 12 year old girl?

[hmc]

12 year old dd can be pleasant and engaging but is far too often selfish, self-centered, egocentric, ill tempered, scathing and prone to tantrums when thwarted. 10 year old ds by contrast has his moments but is generally a good deal more considerate and reasonable. Am actually wondering if she has some sort of personality disorder....

[pictish]

This thread is inadvetantly making me cackle. I am sorry.

I remember being a fairly foul 14. Rude, selfish and arrogant. But not all the time, and by the time I was 15 going on 16 I was reasonable again.

My eldest child is 12 going on 13 atm...and he's hard work at times. Defiant and moody - and only coming out of his room for large portions of food and to rile a sibling rings very true. Everything is perfectly calm until he appears, then it's chaos with the younger ones shrieking and raging.

Drives me batty!

[CafeAuLaitMerci]

ClaimedByMe - if you said that to me in the morning I'd be a mardy arse all day... and I'm significantly older It's such a negative way to say 'Good morning'...

[ClaimedByMe]

Yesterday morning I said to dd have you got out the happy side of your bed today...to met with her shrugging her shoulders and making a grunt noise, her face has also broke out in spots a sure sign she wee hormones are all over the place, hopefully her nice, normal side will be back in a day or two!

[ashtrayheart]

I've got a 17yo with a diagnosed personality disorder, goes beyond the average 12 year old self centred stuff! Feel free to pm if you need more info x

[Keepcalmanddrinkwine]

DD1 is nearly 13 and has been this way for a while. She can be the loveliest child, caring, loving, funny and smart. I cherish those moments, especially when she's being the biggest egocentric, overemotional, mean-to-her-sister pain in the arse.

It's normal but not easy. DD2 is showing signs of joining her.
:)

[sarararararah]

My mother still tells people that the year I was 12 was the worst year of her life! I got better. Honest

[hmc]

My 12 year old loves her 10 year old brother but is often vile towards him. She is majority at fault during sibling altercations. She's had a good day today however

[ANLBXX]

Can anyone comment on how 12 year old girls get on with younger siblings? As it seems every time I turn my back they end up bickering!!I also find this extremely draining.

[Solo]

I hope so! but I may rue the gap between my Dc's as I will have no break from it for about 15 years!

[Floop]

Yep. No empathy.

Then 14 Year old DD cried at her dying grandfathers bedside because she didn't like her haircut. We were all dealing with terminal cancer, and she just didn't get it. She was the only one who existed.

She is 23 now and lovely. I promise it gets better,

[Earlybird]

Count me in as one of this group.

It is lovely when dd is being pleasant because there is harmony in the house, and we actually enjoy each other's company. But there are significant periods of time that make me wonder 'who is this person? I don't recognize her'. Also extreme friction makes you wonder if you've done a sh*t job as a parent.

I have found one thing that is helpful: try to be at least one step ahead of them at all times. Tell them you're going to the high street by only for item X and nothing else (saves them pestering you endlessly), tell them they can have an ice cream at the beach but nothing else (or alternatively, tell them they have X to spend as they wish on the day out and once the money is gone, that's it). By being a step ahead, and putting in the boundaries before they've even thought about things, you've got the upper hand and there is less conflict/discussion.

Only thing is, once you've set boundaries, you've absolutely got to stick to them or your parental power/credibility is shot!

[TaraRhode]

This is very reassuring.

[Ohwhatfuckeryisthis]

Look up teenager in the dictionary-you just gave the definition. They come out of it eventually

[ZeroSomeGameThingy]

Well yes Galaxy - it's their parents that, mentally, they are preparing to leave. All that obsession with friends and fitting in is a way to make the outside world more palatable.

(imvho...)

[Scabetty]

By 14 yo they hibernate in their bedroom and only venture out for food (largest portion with nil regard for starving mother who has yet to sit down to an empty plate) or to fight with a sibling. Peace at last.

[ComeHeather]

Normal. Teens are toddlers in a bigger body and with a bigger vocabulary for insulting everyone.

But they do get over it. Jolly wearing in the meantime. Mostly ignore. Praise good behaviour. Offer lots of love and affection regardless of the hideousness. Calmly enforce boundaries S much as you can. Occasionally lose your rag and give them a good telling off so they come to their senses, but not too often or they will tune you out.

Get out the house yourself and do nice things so that you have the strength to endure it and have a life of your own for once they fly the nest.

[FrankSaysNo]

It manifests in boys at a bout 13. They come out the other side at 19.

[GalaxyInMyPants]

My 13yo dd is like it sometimes at home but her teachers praise her for her kindness and empathy to others at school. I think teens may be vile towards their parents and nicer to others.

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

zero I will tell DM. Will add fuel to her fire.

[Solo]

...and apparently, they don't improve until they are 19+ . Four more ish years of it from Ds, just as Dd will be 11 and just starting. Nice!

[ZeroSomeGameThingy]

Ahem.

Actually teenage brains have evolved to discover a growing hatred of their parents as the teens become sexually mature. Zillions of years ago the ones who liked their parents stayed at home and thus didn't reproduce. So their genes died out. The ones who turned into snarling teen monsters moved out, reproduced and passed on the "hating parents" genes. Without the snarling there would be no human race now.

Kinda sad.

[hmc]

Wise words!

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

DM always says teenagers/preteens have to be ghastly or you'd never let them leave the nest!

[Ledkr]

We go to a market or yesterday a water park and straightaway it's an I've cream (biggest she can get) sulk if I say no, then digs into the picnic getting really stroppy if dh or I so much as have a crisp

[AndIFeedEmGunpowder]

I was vile at that age. When DD becomes a preteen karma is going to come back and bite me on my self centred stroppy 12 year old arse.

I am not looking forward to it.