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Original poster

Normal for lots of babies to be crying their eyes out in nursery?

313 replies

TrixieLox · 03/07/2014 14:13

Our nursery called today to say my daughter has a rash and seems ill so best I take her home. When I collected her, several of the toddlers in her room were crying their eyes out, looking quite unhappy. Is this normal? It was about 10.30 so not near nap time or lunch.

I posted before about collecting my daughter from her first full day there and she looked a state, but nothing was mentioned (think she had a reaction to the glue in her painting). She's only in there 2 days a week but has got more and more upset each time I drop her off. Of course, this could be because she's ill (turns out she has an upper respiratory infection).

I just feel a bit 'off' about this nursery. Has outstanding OFSTED reports and great feedback from work colleagues. But they don't seem to tell us much, e.g., we don't get a sheet of things she's eaten, behaviour like friends do at other nurseries / childminders.

To add to seeing a bunch of crying children there today, I don't know, I don't feel right about things and am wondering if I should explore childminder options. Am I being paranoid?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:09

A post describing morethan's educational choices as 'not exactly normal' struck me as the opposite of an attempt to lighten up.

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:10

This week at my nursery we have been to the zoo, national trust, local park, made cakes, done junk modelling etc thats just in one week. I love it as its all including in price and is so varied. I know I could provide that at home but its easier for me going there with the children as I dont drive so and I can no way pay to get in the zoo. We have been to the zoo 9 times sinceJanuary and I definitely wouldnt of paid that Iit was me. Thats why I think my children are personally getting more opportunties than I can provide at home. Again thats my situation but I love all this

Stubbed · 04/07/2014 06:14

This wouldn't happen at our nursery...

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melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:17

Lots of nurseries and childminders do it here. Its only 145 for a year pass to go as many times as you like, witj as many children. We use it all the time amd the children love it. Tbf I love getting to go all the time. Ive been more times in the last year than I have my whole life so its even gave me more opportunities.

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:19

Excellent. You do what you think is best.

Try to understand that some people, having read the literature and raised DC, genuinely believe that a PT pre-school experience is better and will act accordingly.

Ideally, we all get to voice different views, agree to disagree, no-one gets catty and we all just get on with it.

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:22

I couldnt care less who hates nursery. I get all that with home cooked meals for full time care for 2 children for only £70 a week all in

LoveBeingInTheSun · 04/07/2014 06:28

Op it totally how the staff handle it . Dd went through a period of crying when left, think it cause the novelty wore off and she realized it was a perm arrangement. Dis is a nightmare and rarely doesn't meltdown when left. I know they are a cuddly nursery. I've come to pick up and observed the room my child is in with the staff or my doc knowing. I'm happy they treat them with love and respect.

It is hard to get used to dropping them off but both mine loved it and it truely was a great experience for tgem

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:28

melissa you are sounding rather hysterical. Who has said anything about 'hating' nursery? The alternate view being propounded by some is that full-time day-care style institutions for under 3s may not be optimal in child development terms - hate doesn't come into it.

On the other hand, we all do plenty of things re. our under 5s that are not 'optimal'. It is not optimal world.

We all make our own choices and pick our own battles.

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:31

Im really not. Im upset I only have 6 more weeks and my children no longer get this as I am not working for 9 months. Its costing me an arm and leg to compensate as Ive paid for drama school, swimming and gymnastics to fill the spaces. Its cost me over 40 only on that and then tuition 25 a week. Ive been spoiled up until now as nursery is cheaper but now I cant do it and its shit. I get how the sahms feel

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:32

What funding are you losing?

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:35

Do you not get free hours?

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:36

Tax credits as Im on maternity. Dd 1 is do upset without childcare as shes been in it over 6 years. Ive done everything to keep her in but she has to take 9 months break. Ive filled the evenings with different activities but she says every day please dont make me leave. I have no choice at moment and 9 months is a long time to a child. I keep getting told that children adapt but its horrible. I feel sorry for sahms on here that say they cant afford nursery.

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 06:43

Oh so it is after school club?

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 06:45

No its from birth to 12. Dd has been since 4 months full time, and I honestly feel like Cruela de Vil. Nothing has ever made me feel guilty as a parent but this really does. Suppose it will work out as people keep telling me at will but right now it doesnt feel like it

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 07:00

Could you keep one day a week?

You are only taking 9 months maternity? Is that definite? Have you told her?

Mumof3xox · 04/07/2014 07:00

You can get tax credits on maternity?

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 07:04

Oh yes she knows. You get a photo album at end of year she was going through it going oh look its jane, and jon, look at when we did that etc. Then she said how long have I got left? I said 6 weeks and she said ooohhh. How many days is that? I said you have 30 more days there. She said I like it better when you say it in days it sounds longer!

melissa83 · 04/07/2014 07:04

I cant cover everything though mrsxxx I need them to live on for a bit

SirChenjin · 04/07/2014 07:38

Wow - you lot are early risers!

I had to get up early and muck out the animals in my zoo here before I turfed them out to wander the streets while DH and I went to work - I've decided that, on the basis of the posts on here, simply to do away with childcare altogether and let them fend for themselves. A packet of Haribos and a family sized bottle of lurid coloured fizzy pop has been provided, natch.

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 07:43

Was just pondering the damage lunchables and cola bribery in the early years no doubt did mine SirC but I can't sustain the angst.

Saltedcaramel2014 · 04/07/2014 07:53

I remember your other post, and I think it's gone beyond the nursery itself and into how you're feeling. If it is causing you this much stress and anxiety then I think you should look around - if there are other options I'd explore them. A good nursery should make you feel confident in their abilities and level of care. I like the poster who says 'I would never leave my child at nursery crying' - I'm sure the staff are so grateful. Part of their job is to soothe and settle if needed, building their own relationship with the children.

Saltedcaramel2014 · 04/07/2014 07:54

Sorry that comment just really wound me up - as if mums don't feel guilty enough...

kinkytoes · 04/07/2014 08:12

It wound me up too salted

If no one ever left a child crying at nursery, nurseries wouldn't exist (nor childminders - and no one would leave their children with grandparents or anyone else either) it's called separation anxiety and whilst it's not pleasant, it is perfectly normal!

kinkytoes · 04/07/2014 08:14

I mean natural, not normal - I realise normal is subjective!

Fideliney · 04/07/2014 08:15

But salted why would something someone does make you feel (more) guilty? If you are happy with what you are doing, do it.

She only said she prefers not to leave HER child crying. Where's the problem?

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