I've spent the morning crying

[TuckingFablet]

had dd nearly 6 months ago and today I cracked. dp works 5 out of 7 days and I have no friends. difficult family situation so I have no one to help me. I need a break. dp is working 7 days this week because we are saving for a deposit on a house so need the money.

I just feel so alone. I'm exhausted all the freaking time. dp does help. he does one night feed and helps out when he is here. the problem is he isn't here very often. typical shift will be 8.30am -8pm.

I love my daughter endlessly but I'm not sure how much longer I can cope with this.

I don't know what I want from this post, other than just getting my feelings out.

carry on with your day

I am feeling a lot better today thanks maryz we just put the deposit down to rent a new place. It's so a massive two bed house so much more space than our teeeny one bed flat. I know a few baby groups near the new house too so I have lots more options.

ignores fact babies turn into teenagers

Tucking,

I can't message you privately but I'm in Nottingham :) Long Eaton, so bang in between Derby and Notts. I do drive though. So if you ever fancy a friendly face to meet for a coffee or walk in the park I'm usually free :)

I feel for you honey, 6 months old is not a nice stage, well wasn't for me, and my DS was and still can be a grump, despite being a good sleeper and eater. Some babies are just harder, you just have to power through and think loads and loads of mums feel the same, I know because I wrote a similar post to your a while back and the replies I got were great. Not magic wands but just made me feel I'm really not alone.

Could you go back to work and look at nurseries? Get a little bit of adult conversation even just for a couple of times a week? All week with just a baby sends me cuckoo and by 10 months I was excited at going back to work to just be able to have a conversation.

hello... have experienced something so parallel to your description it felt like I was reading a blast from the past. I had no mn then... USE IT.
Take what you can.. just a little treat you can afford, say handcream or something, try you best to keep sight of yourself and the excellent job you are doing with next to no support.
Ask for what you can... sometimes dps can have tunnel vision in the best meant way. However, breathe and try to give yourself credit for your work.
Not trying to be too cliched, but one day at a time.
Although days can seem to last for-jolly-ever....

Keep going, keep posting and expressing yourself.
Rooting for you

We were doing so well and I was beginning to feel okay and now she's had 2 nights of being up every 30 minutes screaming. I'm exhausted and baby group isn't on today because of half term

You are still doing well!!!! It's bloody hard work. I have a 7 month old Ds and whilst I love him, it's been the most difficult 7 months of my life.

Just take it one day at a time. Ds was a very difficult coliky, reflux baby and for the first 3 months I didn't set foot out of the house. Whenever he cried in public I died of embarrassment, I just pulled back from everyone and that made things even worse. In the end my health visitor took me to a baby massage class. It was much more structured than a play group, also there were only 8 of us, so much easier to make friends. If you have a good relationship with your HV get in touch, it's their job to help you.

This is such a trying time, Ds goes from being an angel one day and a nightmare the next, I think he's just fed up of being a baby! I try to get out every day, even if it is just a walk round the block, I find even a short walk breaks the day up and raises both our spirits. If we do go to an activity most of the time it distracts him and cheers him up to divert a really bad day, also activities like swimming and soft play wear him out so his midday nap is always longer and he sleeps better.

Keep your chin up, you're not alone. Be asking as you can be to yourself, remember you are doing a fantastic job, your little girl is alive, growing and developing because of you - that's an enormous achievement in itself.

As kind not asking!!!!

Thanks play I just feel horrible today. This morning I shouted at her. She wasn't awake on purpose but it felt like she was doing it just to upset me. I know that is bonkers though.

I hate half term! DD's father is on duty for the activity free summer holidays, thank god.

Waking up every 30 mins will drive anyone to distraction. I know this is always said but please please sleep today when she does. Sod everything else - shower, washing up, cooking. That can all be done when she's awake. Sleeeeeeeeeeep.

Haha rooty that would require her to actually sleep first. Shes currently attempting to wriggle her way towards the hair dryer.
Dp is off from Saturday for a week so just two days until I can sleep.
We don't have a spare room unfortunately maryz one bed flat atm but soon moving to a 2 bed place. I'm sure the tinyness of this flat isn't helping.

We've been for a walk in the rain. I got soaked and she didn't sleep. Waste of time that was

I have left over lasagne and tea. She's finally asleep but there's no way I can sleep now ive spent hours waking myself up haha. I'll settle down and watch some trashy tv till she wakes up. Need to fill mg time until 4pm as we're meeting dp from work and I'm going food shopping on my own. Woo.

there's no way I can sleep now ive spent hours waking myself up haha

I implore you to try! bitter experience. Sleep is a safety rail against depression. Sorry for bossing but so struggled to learn this lesson til it was too late myself.

Yes a tiny flat is dire, we lived in what was basically a studio with DD for the first 9 months. Have never had the need for a baby monitor

Also love food shopping on my own, it really is sad, isn't it!

She's woken up again now the peace was nice while it lasted...

I don't feel like I'm doing a wonderful job. she won't stop screaming so I've put her in bed and closed the bedroom door for 5 minutes. I think she might be teething but she wont use those rings you put in the freezer and just spits the calpol out no matter how I squirt it in her mouth

For teething, Anbesol liquid is the biz. It's good and strong and works for hours, though the taste is horrible it seems to be momentary.

Has it stopped raining there? it has here (south east) and turning out to be a dryish day. Soon the weather will pick up...surely. Surely. and then you'll be able to sit in the park with her on a rug and life will be fractionally less grim. My DD is 19mo so also a winter baby and it's a long, hard slog, I know.

Fwiw I also know what you mean about not doing a wonderful job. There are times when I know I'm not. A friend has been telling me that I need to learn that good enough is, well, good enough.

rooty
looks like it is still raining, if it isn't then it certainly doesn't look inviting haha.
3 hours left and she fell asleep in her bed so it's nice and quiet at least.

oh good. It's the screaming that's the worst! DD crying and whinging and moaning is like a drill bit going into my head, I just immediately feel I could lose it.

She's learnt to squeal today which is awesome and she does this monotone moan sound which just drills into my brain. it's awful.