I've spent the morning crying

[TuckingFablet]

had dd nearly 6 months ago and today I cracked. dp works 5 out of 7 days and I have no friends. difficult family situation so I have no one to help me. I need a break. dp is working 7 days this week because we are saving for a deposit on a house so need the money.

I just feel so alone. I'm exhausted all the freaking time. dp does help. he does one night feed and helps out when he is here. the problem is he isn't here very often. typical shift will be 8.30am -8pm.

I love my daughter endlessly but I'm not sure how much longer I can cope with this.

I don't know what I want from this post, other than just getting my feelings out.

carry on with your day

Tucking you sound pretty cool to me. It sounds like you're a great Mum who's working really hard to keep everything up.

Honestly, we're all busy, and we're all stressed and being a Mum is just hard. It's so relentless. I remember when DD1 was about 7 months I got a terrible cold and decided to quarantine myself for about a week while I got over it so I wouldn't affect babies. The two of us were going up the walls by the time I was better!

I hope you continue to feel better and manage to get out and about a bit more. Keep posting on the down days :)

Aww thanks tricky. Yes I'm sure you'll make 'mum, friends naturally either through the school or any activities you take ds to, lots of mums will be in the same boat as you - working and worrying that they aren't making mum friends too.

Tucking, I think that's a sensible way to think. You sound fab anyway, it's their loss! :)

thanks guys

I'm just about to go into rhyme time. a little scared if I'm honest. dd isn't in the best of moods so hopefully she'll not start screaming.

Also thanks for the offer tricky I'll send a pm your way

she screamed the whole time but I guess I'll try again next week.

Do! Sympathetic looks are a GREAT way of striking up conversation!

We've all been there!

Are you near a swimming pool OP? Ive made a few mum friends in the pool taking DD swimming :)

I'm terrified of water so swimming is a no go. live right next to a pool though.

Oh don't worry about her screaming, they have to expect it with little ones. When my dd was 1 she knocked a whole shelf of books onto the floor at Rhyme Time! If our children aren't mortifying us they're not doing their job

Do they have a baby pool? You don't have to swim - in fact you can't, as they are so shallow - you have to go on your knees or squat. Maybe it could be a chance to work on fear of water? Some babies find the water fun or calming.

My DD screamed or vommed through lots of baby activities when little! It was still good to have a reason to go out.

Can your dd crawl yet Tucking? If so, softplay would be fab for her. Most places have a separate baby/toddler area and it's usually quiet during the day as the big ones are at school - (find out when half term is though). I find it easier to chat to other parents at soft play too as it's more casual than baby groups and there isn't an expectation to make friends. if you go the same day each week you're likely to see familiar faces and will more than likely end up chatting.

she does really like water so I think she would love it. I'll see if they have a baby pool

we had a really nice day today. she was in such a good mood. now dp has two days off so I can get a break. just met him from work and hes took her home to do bath and bed while I chill out with a coffee

Can't crawl or sit up yet motor she's halfway to rolling over. I think she is frustrated because she wants to sit up and do things but cant.

Ah that's nice.

Yes they do get frustrated at that stage don't they, still, won't be long and she'll be crawling :)

Found 5 months the hardest.

Had DP working long shifts then too.

In retrospect we agree that he should have quit and found a 9-5 job.

I don't know where in Nottingham you are, but the new Victoria leisure centre on the edge of the city centre is fantastic - there's a (lovely warm) baby pool, baby classes that you can just drop in for, not sign up for a whole term, and a really fun splash area for babies and toddlers.

ooh. i live 10 minutes away from the city centre, so ill check that out rooty thanks!

baby group today and typically she has been awake since 4.30am

Hate when they do that on baby group days! Ds always seems to sleep really badly before baby group and then has a complete meltdown while we are there. Hope your doing ok tucking, ds is a similar age to yours and I still have days of feeling pretty low. Thought it would be a bit easier by now!

Others have said the same thing but we've all been there! Please hang in there and tell your other half how you're feeling because sometimes we expect them to know when they haven't a clue that we're struggling. I have felt exactly like you with both of my babies. DH was amazing and completely took over night times with DS2 once he stopped breast feeding and he is so hands on with both of them (although DS1 would never let him settle him at night, it had to be me!)

Just wanted to let you know it gets better. Hang in there. The early years from 1-2 are so cripplingly exhausting and boring but it gets so much better. I hated, literally hated being around them all day when they were really young. I was so not suited to sleepless nights and non verbal babies. I remember with our first, DH worked 12 hour shifts and a few mornings I fantasised about taking DS1 to the local hospital and jumping off Humber Bridge.

It all feels so bleak when you have no support network and no family. I was/ am in the same position and I know how lonely it is.

It gets so so so so so much better. DS1 is 6 and just about the coolest most articulate and funny little boy ever. DS2 is 2 and has miraculously morphed from a sleepless, exhausting baby into this chatty, walking talking, happy little being who I actually love being around. There are stresses when they squabble etc but I certainly don't dream of driving off into the sunset without them or jumping off a bridge anymore, thank God. It was a hard time. Such a hard thing to admit as well because it's built up to be so beautiful. It's not. It's hard HARD work. Be kind to yourself and remember every mother goes through it whether she admits it or not.

MrsOz that was such an encouraging post, thank you. I hate being at home with DD and I hate myself for hating it

mrsoz that post was so encouraging! Thanks everyone for your lovely messages