Boyfriend won't get up for night feeds!!

[me271234]

Any advice people, we have just had another baby a baby girl "well I say just she's just come out of hospital ftee being born @ 25 weeks prem" we are ao delighted to have her home, we do also have a toddler who is 18 months old so it is a very busy houses, anyway I will cut to the chase, me or my partner are not working at the moment, he does leave the house for 4 hours a day to visit his gran who needs to b cares for, so I am @ home with the two kids, I am so exhausted as our newborn is very noisy and doesn't sleep to good not to mention she feeds twice in the night, what I am trying to say is that my boyfriend refuses point blank to getting up to do even 1 feed, he literally tells me he finds it wierd as she is a girl " to me that's an excuse". It's getting to the point now that I am starting to resent him, he gets to lay in bed all night and every morning whilst I feed trough the night and also get up with the kids, I am @y wits end he doesn't work so why can't he help me, I am so frustrated with him and he knows that bit just doesn't seem to care. When we had our son "1st born" we took it in turns from day 1 gettin up with him but now he doesn't even want to compromise, I have talked an talked to him but he still refuses, I am stuck guys I don't know what more I can say or do, I feel like I am getting depressed. So need some advice please

and tbh, this thread isn't about your situation, it is about OP's

Because I recognise and appreciate that dh and I have a good thing goin f.

Does that mean that when I see a relationship that is clearly less than mine I think there is nothing redeeming about it whatsoever? And that it's utterly worthless? Nope.

I'm saying the man is a fool. But he seems to have redeeming qualities and, most importantly, the Op does not want to throw away her relationship (her words), so don't you think it's damn arrogant to start pushing for otherwise, when there is no evidence of abuse, but selfishness instead, which can be worked on.

Any, you asked me about my position. I answered. Now you say I'm turning the thread into all about me. Odd.

coffee, you're out of order.

it's frankly odd behaviour to track where posters might be posting, and irrelevant to boot!

fwiw i'll also be posting on my support thread after cardiac arrest and the worzel gummage one.

I am not "pushing" for anything, and if you read OP's replies you will see that she hasn't taken it that way either

it really is just you coffee

worzel gummage you say ?

point me in that direction "

worzel gummage you say ?

point me in that direction

oops, I got a bit excited there

Yes, it's just me saying perhaps give it a chance before ending the relationship. And the OP of course.

Any, the fact that on this occasion, I may have a different opinion to a dozen or so people, really isn't something that concerns me.

then leave it at that, coffee, and stop picking others up for having a different opinion to yours

you have been very derogatory about me, there is no reason for it (other than you disagree withn me)

Any, I think you've been pretty derogatory about me. Not going to sweat it though. Good luck OP, you do seem lovely and congrats on having your baby girl at home with you at last x

then we shall have to agree to disagree, coffee

that's not such a bad thing is it, if we both have OP's best interests at heart ?

but please don't pick up poster's intervention on other threads

this is a chat website for parents, my input and support is cast widely

Agreed and apologies.

That is very gracious of you and I am now going to go over my posts to you to see where I was out of line...bear with me

Op - sorry you are going through this. You've both been through a pretty massive trauma with your dd being born at 25 weeks. Do you think he's less confident handling her because of this - cos she was so wee, in an incubator etc I'm not making excuses for him - I just think it's a bit weird that he was so different with your first child and I'm looking for a reason.

Awww guys please don't let my post set u against each other, I appreciate every post and will definitely take advice from all and see what options works best. He got made redundant Sally, I totally after as he is not working it should be 50/50

I called you a manpleaser, coffee

I have no idea if that is true, sorry

OP, he said he would do anything to help except night feeds - but that didn't include clearing up vomit?

I would just about get, though thoroughly disagree with, him not changing her nappy as she's a girl but what's the logic of not feeding her? Wasn't he aware that females eat?

it's ok, OP, it's just two sides of the same coin honest

Thanks any

Get a room you two