Letter from social services; help!

[Seb101]

Today I have received a letter from social services referral and assessment department. It says my child has been referred to them! I can't speak to anyone until tomorrow, and I'm going out of my mind with worry! We are a normal, two parent, loving family. We adore our little girl. I can't think what it could be about. I phoned a general help desk and they couldn't help. The person I need to speak to isn't around today! But they said someone has referred our child, and this would be because of a concern over her safety and well being. It could be a doctor/ health visitor or a member of the public. We've had no accidents, doctors or health visitor contact; so unlikely to be them. I'm so scared of what might happen....
Can anyone offer any advice? Could this be something routine? Has this happened to anyone? My dd is well cared for, bright, healthy. I've never smacked her, or screamed and shouted at her. I'm a good mum, and she's my whole world. If anyone has experienced this type of situation; please help! I will ring them tomorrow, but in the mean time, I'm very worried!

[twojumpingbeans]

I think that some posters have had a really crap SS experience. That must have been really stressful :( But - OP please don't worry, SWkrs have much much better stuff to do than fabricate lies about perfectly functioning families. I am 'known' to social care because my child has a disability, that's fine! All this talk about CP plans and CiN meetings seems a little premature to me.

I really worry that demonising social workers and social care means that should people ever need help they'll be too frightened to ask. It's like threatening kids with police when they're naughty - I hate that! If my kids are ever lost I want them to find the police for help not run away from them..

I really hope it's just a storm in a teacup OP.

[NigellasDealer]

yes sorry to derail OP.
honestly you will be fine.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Not all social workers will use emotion against you at all.

I cry almost every time I see ours and she has been amazing and got us so much support.

I hope this is all just a big mistake but scaremongering posts like that are NOT helpful.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Our SW is the best professional I have ever met.

[NigellasDealer]

well that is great fanjo but you know it is not always like that and as the OP had already mentioned being tearful in front of the doctor, it would be as well for her to know that showing emotion in front of your kid really does not go down that well, not all social workers are amazing and professional !

[PollyPumpkins]

Hi Seb

I would like to think if another professional (GP for example) had had direct contact with you and DC and he became concerned he would have asked if you needed support and at least said they felt duty bound to refer to SS.

I know it must be a proper headbust for you and I hope it's quickly resolved for you and your family and good luck with conceiving x

[hickorychicken]

So do SS want us to never show any emotion in front of our dc's? Thats ridiculous. And being emotional is not a reason to be reffered. When dd1 started at nursery i cried every day, in front of the staff, for about 2 weeks.

[NigellasDealer]

yes hickory if you show emotion in front of them is is 'emotional abuse' according to some SW

[hickorychicken]

Its more damaging to children to have robot parents, surely?

[BelleateSebastian]

Goodness! Good luck today and I hope it's just a silly mix up.

[BloominNora]

Nigella You're right not all social workers are amazing and professional, but equally they are not all there "to judge, do paperwork and justify their jobs" either. What I do know is the vast majority of social workers care deeply about the welfare of children and most do their best by those children within a straining system that they have little control over.

They wouldn't subject themselves to some of the horrors that they see on a regular basis for fun. There are crap people in every profession and you may have unfortunately experienced one of them, but on the whole, the majority of the ones I have met are very committed to what they do and love nothing more than when they achieve positive outcomes for the children - whatever they may be. I really admire social workers as a profession - yoh couldn't pay me enough to do that job!

[Anniegoestotown]

Record everything.

[NigellasDealer]

yeh make notes of what they say in a designated notebook, and date every entry

[hickorychicken]

Ffs whats with the scaremongering! SS are not evil people sent to look at your dirty skirting!

[AClassyMove]

There is a good site that some people from here set up, hopefully one will be along soon to link for you.

As with every organisation in life, there are good and bad, and there is room for human error and misunderstandings. I agree record everything, you can and transcribe it, if they write rubbish on the files.

You may have a genuinely decent social worker, or you may have a hard hearted person who has poor communication skills, not ensuring they understand you and not ensuring you understand them.

It does sound like it is not something they are taking serious and sounds like it may not be about you at all.

[AClassyMove]

Here I found it for you

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

If it was the doctor, I assume the referral was so that she could be provided with support.

So it's unhelpful to say 'showing emotion doesn't go down well' and just scare the OP.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Just because one person has bad experience doesn't mean that all will. Good luck OP. Don't let people get you all stressed out and scared.

[AClassyMove]

I have been on a child protection course and you are told to report and what red flags are.

There have been a lot of dreadful failures for so many children so professionals are very scared to not report now a days. They do not want to be named on serious case reviews, they do not want to loose their career and all that goes with it, and have criminal charges placed against them, so they report.

I think things have gotten to a stage now where things are going over the top, and professionals are looking at a lot of parents with such suspicion that they are causing harm to some families. That is another thread and is being handled with research, meetings with MP's at the moment to deal with it all and change legislation.

[AClassyMove]

You need to write to those that can do something about it, instead of complaining to the monkey or on MN, speak to the organ grinders, I have, extensively and things are changing in the area's I have experience in, you have to alert those who have the power to what is going on, they will not know what is wrong or how to fix it if you don't.

[SomethingAboutNothing]

Hope the phone call goes ok today OP.

[everythinghippie29]

Good luck Seb, hope you get to the bottom of what is going on.

[ParaTrooper]

Any news op?