Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Letter from social services; help!

136 replies

Seb101 · 13/03/2014 15:36

Today I have received a letter from social services referral and assessment department. It says my child has been referred to them! I can't speak to anyone until tomorrow, and I'm going out of my mind with worry! We are a normal, two parent, loving family. We adore our little girl. I can't think what it could be about. I phoned a general help desk and they couldn't help. The person I need to speak to isn't around today! But they said someone has referred our child, and this would be because of a concern over her safety and well being. It could be a doctor/ health visitor or a member of the public. We've had no accidents, doctors or health visitor contact; so unlikely to be them. I'm so scared of what might happen....
Can anyone offer any advice? Could this be something routine? Has this happened to anyone? My dd is well cared for, bright, healthy. I've never smacked her, or screamed and shouted at her. I'm a good mum, and she's my whole world. If anyone has experienced this type of situation; please help! I will ring them tomorrow, but in the mean time, I'm very worried!

OP posts:
BlueHairedFreak · 13/03/2014 21:06

I used to work in a SS dept taking referrals for child protection and you would be amazed how many inaccurate/unnecessary/inappropriate and malicious referrals are made. Referrals can come from so many sources, including places like the NSPCC who very often have sketchy info from concerned members of the public. This means people have to fill in the blanks, use the electoral register, call up other agencies and try to piece things together. Very possibly a referral has been made for another family in your road but the lack of info available has meant a wrong name on the letter. If a referral doesn't require any further assessment the case is closed and that's the end of it. Social workers are far to busy in my experience to go looking for problems that don't exist. If further help is warrented, then they can signpost the right way to get that.
Should you ever need a local authority check ( for adoption etc) the referral won't be flagged up unless it was a safeguarding issue.
Really try not to panic.

WestieMamma · 13/03/2014 21:07

I think the person you spoke to is alarming you unnecessarily, or maybe you've misunderstood because you're distressed. The social worker will speak to you first and then decide if there is reason to be concerned. If there is, then a full assessment/investigation will take place. When they speak to you and realise there are no grounds for concern they will immediately close the case. Initial contact is to see if there is cause for concern, not because there is cause for concern. Does that make sense?

icanmakeyouicecream · 13/03/2014 22:10

You poor thing, I can't imagine how you must be feeling. Keep us updated x

Rachie1986 · 14/03/2014 05:15

No advice but just wanted to say I hope you get it sorted quickly :-) xx

KatieHopkinsEvilTwin · 14/03/2014 06:00

I really hope you're ok op.

Lj8893 · 14/03/2014 06:06

Hope your ok OP, I haven't got any advice other than try to stay calm.
I'm shocked at how many malicious/inaccurate reports are made, what a complete waste of social services time and resources.

I'm also disgusted by what the person you spoke to on the phone said, what a scaremonger!!

hickorychicken · 14/03/2014 06:38

This kinda thing really makes me mad.
There are loving parents being looked at because of error/maliciousness. Why would anyone do that?!
Hope all is ok OP x

hickorychicken · 14/03/2014 06:38

Excuse the kiss! Blush

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 06:40

i am not being nasty but to be honest this referral could have come from the doctor if op has been breaking down there about ivf in front of her child; op you have to show no emotion!
do not worry though

hickorychicken · 14/03/2014 06:49

The fertility problems sounds unlikely IMO a doctor would expect a woman to be emotional surely?

MiaowTheCat · 14/03/2014 06:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mirtzapine · 14/03/2014 06:51

This is what you should do.

Listen to what they say

Comply with all their requests

DO NOT be
stropy,
aggressive
mouthy
or appear angry in any form.

If it goes beyond a visit and you have to go to a conference meeting for them to decide to put your child on the "register" it has to be because they consider it to be:

Child in Need
or
Child Protection

The first one Child in need lasts a few weeks to three months,

Child Protection lasts 15 months.

First off they cannot remove your child willy nilly it has to go to the Local Council social services legal team before that can be done. Once that's done, you get legal aid so find a good public services children's law solicitor. Law society can help.

If you are at the very initial stage, never had any contact with Social Services, relax and breath.

They'll send around a social worker to do an initial assessment. hope they send an experienced one and not a paper pusher.

Ring the Family Rights Advocacy group
www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice
0808 801 0366 opening hours Monday - Friday 9.30am - 3.00pm excluding Bank Holidays

they will give you advice and information that social services omit to give.

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 06:52

not in front of her child though hickory - i am not judging but have had ss on my back too and have a vague idea about things now,

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 06:55

CP does not last 15 months ime

wherethewildthingis · 14/03/2014 07:04

OP, honestly, social workers are out to help your child and, by extension, you. A good social worker will understand and acknowledge how frightening this is for you and explain exactly what they are doing, and why. We are not the enemy! I actually think comments like "show no emotion" and misinformation about "a register" and child protection lasting fifteen months (it lasts as long as it needs to), are really unhelpful. Social workers are doing a difficult job trying to protect children and we are all aware that we get spurious referrals from time to time, if this is one then I am sure that involvement with OP will be very short lived.

saintlyjimjams · 14/03/2014 07:13

Did you speak to the duty SW? They're often ime rubbish & devoid of any emotion or kindness. I think they just switch off to get through the day.

Hopefully you'll have a nice SW (there are some lovely ones, alongside the crap ones) - who will just sign it off. I agree with the above; remain calm, offer them a cup of tea, tidy up (but not obsessively), be as helpful as you can.

If it's the ivf thing (& I'm appalled if it is) then stress you were upset in the appointments but are fine in every day life. The upset in appointments took you by surprise & you are planning to arrange childcare for future appointments so your dd doesn't have to witness your distress.

It must be horrible to have hanging over you. I hope you find out what it's about today x

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 07:18

i think the advice 'show no emotion' is excellent in view of the women i have had to deal with actually wherethewildthingis, - i made the mistake of becoming overwrought on one occasion and she was in there like a shark sniffing blood. scary actually, also saying that 'social workers are here to help' is inaccurate because in ime they are not, they are there to judge, do the paperwork, and justify their jobs. support? advice? ha bloody ha.

Melonbreath · 14/03/2014 07:18

I doubt it was the doctor, they would have got the name and address right.
I would query the letter as it does sound like a mix up. And take the letter with you.

BloominNora · 14/03/2014 07:24

mirtzapine There is so much inaccuracy in that post I am not really sure where to begin.

OP if, after the visit, there are concerns, the next courseof action will depend on what those concerns are. If they feel you need some support for some reason, you may be referred on to Early Help services. Your child might become subject to a CAF which is anassessment which allows different agencies to work together to help families. You may get a family support worker or type of support worker depending onthe issues.

if the concerns are more serious, you may be referred for an assessment. Depending on your local authority, this may or may not be called an 'initial' assessment as they are being phased out. If after the assessment, there are still concerns, your child may become subject to a Child in Need (CiN) plan. This is quite low level and will be about putting support in place similar to a CAF but led by SS and maybe with services paid for by SS. CiN plans do not usually have conferences. To put CiN into context, all children known to social services are classed as CiN including disabled children who received respite or other services.

if the concerns are more substantial then Child Protection concerns may be raised. If this is the case then an Initial Child Protection Conference will be called with a independant chair and a team of relevant professionals. If the conference decides that your child needs to be on a Child Protection Plan then one will be put in place - the child protection register has not existed for some years now.

Unless your child is deemed to be at immediate or serious risk of harm OR whatever measures are put in place via the plan deem not to be working your child will not be taken into care.

There are no time limits for how long a child can be CiN or CP. CiN plans are reviewed every three months and if a child is still on a CP plan after 15 months then it will be looked at more closely to see if it is working, although the plan is actually reviewed every 6 weeks to three months. At any point in the process things can be de-escalated for example CP to CiN or CAF and CiN to CAF.

However, on saying all of that I would also think, given the wrong address is on the letter it isn't actually for you. If it is for you, the fact that they have written to you rather than visited would suggest that the concerns are not that serious.

BloominNora · 14/03/2014 07:26

Oh and to remove your child it doesn't just have to go the council legal services, it has tobe court ordered by a judge!

hickorychicken · 14/03/2014 07:34

I think there is a lot of negativity surrounding SW's, its really sad.
My cousin had them involved because of an abusive partner/ex. IMO they were brilliant in regards to giving support and being very clear about why they were involved etc.

mousmous · 14/03/2014 07:37

have you been to a&e or a walk in centre with dc?
the referral might come from there.

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 07:39

well they bring it on themselves largely - honestly i had one fat biatch in my mainly clean and tidy lounge, pointing to under the sidebord where there was a bit of dust and maybe a sweet wrapper going '''ooh nigellas i can see you have not swept ooda yer sidebord'''
i was like wtf?
i have never been offered any 'support' just judgement and reports being written and meetings being held.
as i said, it largely seemed an exercise in justifying their jobs.

saintlyjimjams · 14/03/2014 07:43

SW aren't there to help - they're a child protection agency - that's their role. And before anyone squawks about me being mean it was a SW who told me that.

NigellasDealer · 14/03/2014 07:46

yes i see that but how can you protect a child without offering the parent any support?
also why go thro the whole thing of CP and see that child precisely twice with mother present and never alone, if it were not an excercise in paperwork and little else?

Swipe left for the next trending thread