Letter from social services; help!

[Seb101]

Today I have received a letter from social services referral and assessment department. It says my child has been referred to them! I can't speak to anyone until tomorrow, and I'm going out of my mind with worry! We are a normal, two parent, loving family. We adore our little girl. I can't think what it could be about. I phoned a general help desk and they couldn't help. The person I need to speak to isn't around today! But they said someone has referred our child, and this would be because of a concern over her safety and well being. It could be a doctor/ health visitor or a member of the public. We've had no accidents, doctors or health visitor contact; so unlikely to be them. I'm so scared of what might happen....
Can anyone offer any advice? Could this be something routine? Has this happened to anyone? My dd is well cared for, bright, healthy. I've never smacked her, or screamed and shouted at her. I'm a good mum, and she's my whole world. If anyone has experienced this type of situation; please help! I will ring them tomorrow, but in the mean time, I'm very worried!

[Only1scoop]

Hope you get some answers today you must be sick with worry.

[Spero]

Thanks Aclassymove for linking to //www.childprotectionresource.org.uk, I hope you might find something useful there op.

Sometimes referrals are malicious, sometimes they are based on a member of the public over reacting - remember the little girl at the sea side whose mother got stopped by the police because someone reported she wasn't wearing a coat ?

The best advice is to be polite, co-operate and don't worry about showing you are upset or worried, that is appropriate. What would cause worry is dramatic reactions of considerable emotional upset in front of the children - that would cause concerns about how you might behave when professionals weren't there. You aren't expected to be a robot about this, anyone with half a brain and once of compassion will understand how upsetting it is.

If you are unlucky and you do get a bad social worker who is unpleasant or doesn't listen, again try to stay calm. Keep notes of what is said, if you are asked to do or stop doing certain things, ask for this in writing.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

It is very likely the GP referred you for aome support.

Please dont be sick with worry.

[Dillydollydaydream]

Hopefully everything will be fine. It either sounds like a malicious referral or the letter was meant for someone else.

[cory]

SW's are there to help the child.

An experienced SW will know that most often this is the same thing as supporting the parents, because children are dependent on their families and well functioning families are best placed to look after their children.

They will know, then, that the best way to protect the child's interests, is to communicate well with the parents and keep an open mind.

Of course as in all professions there are, sadly, SW's who are not experienced or intelligent and/or who lack communication skills.

The ones I have met have generally been pretty good though. And we've been referred several times.

[Spero]

We have a specific post about the referrals and investigation process

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/category/investigation-and-referrals/

And we will get something up ASAP about what to if the investigation process is botched - as. Mrsdevere says this can be a problem, there was an interesting case recently where a LA had to pay out £2k to a family when they didn't follow the requirements of the investigation process.

[AClassyMove]

Spero, have you got a link to that case where the LA had to pay compensation for a bodged investigation? I would like to read who did what? Was it investigated by the LGO?

[Spero]

Yes, I will find it, I have been meaning to write a bloody post for ages! This will spur me on - if anyone has anything they would like to add from a personal or professional experience, please let me know.

[Spero]

Here is the report in the Guardian, I have the case reference somewhere, will dig it out.

Interestingly the family were BOTH senior social workers and they reacted VERY strongly to initial referral - which did not help them.

www.theguardian.com/society/2013/mar/14/couple-accused-of-child-abuse-win-damages

[midwifeandmum]

I had an experience abit like this last year.

Basically dd2 who was 1 went for a development assement. 3 apps were cancelled die to hv being off sick. So when I eventually seen her the app didnt go great.

Dd2 is painfully shy with hv (shes not very child friendly - to put it mildly) and wouldnt interact with hv at the clinic but she interacts with gps etc.

Hv then refererred dd2 to a physio, which I agreed to altho I knew she didnt need it.
Physio came for ONE house visit when I was working and left a card.

Fastforward 2 weeks and I recieved a letter from hv stating if I didnt let physio see dd2, shed be referring me to ss as I was showing no intetest in dd2 development.

On the letter she said they had not been able to contact me via telephone and that I kept cancelling apps (hv cancellec 3 times due to sickness). and that dd2 was classed as an unseen child. Dd2 had been to gp 5 times in a fortnight that wk due to horrendous chest infection, so she NOT unseen.

I went straight to clinic to confront her and she apologised profusely about letter. And that she hadnt followed protocol.

Then when physio did come to my house she very confused why she had been sent out as dd2 was perfectly fine. She was angry and discharged her straightaway.

A year later and im still really angry about it. That letter is the kind of letter I would of sent a woman who had social issues (drug/alcohol)who repeatedly didnt turn up for antenatal apps.

I now dont trust hv and feel ill when I have to take dd1 or dd2 to her.

[JeanSeberg]

What a ridiculous waste of money Spero. Good on the family for escalating.

[mummyxtwo]

Hello, hope you have had some help from ringing SS today and more information. I am a GP and would not report someone to SS for being upset and emotional - we would be reporting every mum with PND! I refer to SS if I have serious concerns about neglect or abuse, usually suspected non-accidental injury or failing to show concern or seek medical review if the child is very sick. I always speak to the HV first and other professionals on my team to see if they have had any concerns also. I really can't imagine that this referral could have come from your GP. Has a nosy neighbour thought you leave your dc in the car or alone in the house? I have a friend who lets their lo stay sleeping in the car if they have fallen asleep on their way home from the shops and she keeps watching them from the kitchen window and pops out frequently to check on them. I wouldn't do that personally, but plenty of caring mums do and it could be construed badly by someone who sees it. If I were you I would go and see your HV and explain what has happened and how worried and upset you are. They should be able to offer support and explain the procedures that SS are obliged to follow, and it will also go on their records that you have sought their advice and were alarmed by this situation. I really feel for you. This is understandably going to be an anxious time for you but just be as honest and helpful as you can with anyone who wishes to speak to you, don't panic if they seem very serious and ask alarming questions - they are just doing their job. I disagree with the comments about not showing emotion - true, you don't want to break down into a blubbering heap, ideally, and come across as a little unhinged, but it is fine to look and sound worried and upset. It would be abnormal not to demonstrate that. Remember, if you haven't done anything wrong, they won't find anything wrong. If someone has made a malicious or wrong referral about you then SS will simply uncover no reason or grounds for concern. It will be a stressful experience, but stay calm and hold tight to the fact that you've done nothing wrong.

[Spero]

This last para was interesting

The judge noted that Haringey was acting under considerable pressure with limited resources. In 2012 it received an average of 650 contacts a month, of which over a third progressed to a full assessment, and was embarking on eight to 10 new section 47 enquiries each week.

This kind of fuck up is only going to keep happening unless we are prepared to have a properly resourced and supported child protection system.

[curiousgeorgie]

I hope everything manages to be sorted out for you today OP, try and stay calm

[AClassyMove]

I think it is interesting that they should not be speaking to various agencies without a parents permission. I wonder how many do that?

[Spero]

Here's a good blog about the case which I think also links to the actual judgment,

notsobigsociety.wordpress.com/author/celticknotblog/

[nolongerbumpieorlumpie]

how are you op?

[PandaFeet]

A thread where the OP is stressing out over something that will most likely turn out to be nothing is hardly the place for this level of scaremongering.

Sometimes threads go very wrong. This is one of those times.

I hope you are getting some answers today OP.

[Spero]

Sorry don't see where things are going so very wrong. People are trying to share information and offer support.

The over whelming message I see is don't panic, it's likely nothing.

But equally you can't pretend things never go wrong. Op needs to be empowered to know that she can and should - politely - challenge professionals if they get it wrong.

No one is infallible.

I hope you are ok op. Try to stay calm and deal with it one step at a time. Hopefully it will blow over quickly.