Flipping, freezing, sterilising and the just plain ludicrous - what daft things did you do with your PFB?

[NorthernLurker]

Talking to dd1 tonight (she is 15 and has two sisters) I remembered how totally inept dh and I were.

We:

Filled the baby bath and then carried it (taking two of us) in to the living room of our flat to bath her because it was warmer than the bathroom. Then after the bath we carried it back, sloshing right and left, to empty it.

The first night we had her at home we were so worried about overheating her we put her in a cradle in a vest with a sheet and single blanket, by a window, in April......then wondered why she cried all night and went to sleep when the sun came up.....

Sterilised the bowl for her breakfast until she was a year old. This was dh's job because I Was At Home All Day With The Baby! When he forgot and tried to get in to bed and go to sleep without doing it we had a row. Dh still complains of the 'tyranny of baby's bowl'

When she was six months old and started to roll she would roll herself on to her front to sleep. So every night we would check on her, find her on her front and flip her on to back. Unsurprisingly this woke her....but we kept doing it till my HV told me we were crazy!

Were we alone in this insanity?

Baby sunglasses...!? What !? In April! That is just brilliant!

When DD was born we had trouble breastfeeding, so the midwife asked me to keep a diary of when I fed her, whether it was formula supplemented, how much formula if it was etc., as well as when I changed her whether the nappy was wet or dirty.

She never told me to stop not that I ever asked if I should so I carried on... and on... and on. When I finally plucked up the courage to stop , DD was nine and a half months old.

Every feed. Every nappy.

I nearly filled an A4 book.

Dharma Despite the many funny stories here, you win first prize for dedication to PFB-ism

AN A4 BOOK?

Ok..............

Spooked - dh and I grinned at each other as we watched friends with pfb in the car leaving for a four hour trip home. Dad driving, mum tucked in the back next next to pfb to monitor him closely. For four hours.

I always go in the back with my dd!? She cries otherwise... Well, I imagine she would?? I am starting to realise this thread is so addictive as it is bringing me back to reality! Judging by these comments; I am officially still in a state of pfb syndrome!

We couldn't understand why pfb ds1 hated the bath so much until my mum watched us one day. We didn't realise that you were actually allowed to put baby in the water! We used to hover him about 6 inches above the bath water and throw the flannel up in the air in his general direction hoping some droplets would land on him and magically clean him! We were so scared that he might slip out of our hold if we put him in the bath, go underwater and drown in the 2 seconds it took us to get him out! Poor thing must have been frozen hovering naked in the air!

When DD was born DH and I used to do every nappy change together, even in the middle of the night; top and tail bowl, cotton wool, muslin to pat her perfect little bum dry. It took bloody ages!

DH also used to turn and reverse at an absolute snails pace down from the pavement lest she be jostled in any way.

When anyone babysat ds I used to write out the lyrics of a song that I would always sing to him, so he would hear something familiar and run through it with them to make sure they had the tune right . To their credit they humoured me and sang along to practice. Oh god, I bet they were killing themselves with laughter once we had left.

These are so funny, and who knew they even made baby sunglasses.

Our first night home I shut the bedroom door just in case the dog ran upstairs and took the baby out of the crib and we slept through it. Bearing in mind that the dog has never gone upstairs and OH is a crazy light sleeper.

I cringe at the memory. I was obsessed by when Pfb was meant to be awake and when she was supposed to be napping. At two weeks old. She was a sleepy baby so the timings in my head never worked. I used to jig her about trying to keep her awake a bit longer. Poor little thing. PND made me quite hysterical about the timings of naps and feeds being 'wrong'.

Once dd2 arrived I was so laid back I kept misplacing her in the house. Dh once nearly sat on her on the sofa.

Both are alive and thriving

These are all great. I love the hover-bath and the song rehearsal! I wish I'd known about Mumsnet when I had my pfb, and could have laughed at myself a bit.

I love the straps on the baby swing!

I always sat in the back. And warmed baby wipes on my stomach before I let them touch DS' bum in case the cold shocked him

Still would do both of these things I suppose you can't sit in the back with a second-or-later born though because the other DC is in the way. :(

missmagnum that is brilliant :)

I think we were def pretty PFB overall. We wouldn't heat up bottles in microwaves for fear of hot spots, and instead would sit them in hot water for ages waiting for the milk to warm up.

I found a notepad from when ds1 was a newborn the other day with a list of breastfeeds timings and which side breast it had been. I'm keeping it for posterity!

minniemagoo that had me in tears! tarred and feathered baby! haha! and the hover bath :D

I've shamefully done so many of these, including 3 months of detailed notes on feeds and nappies.

DH and I have just realised what we did with PFB DS was utterly nuts. He was mixed fed and I pumped every 3 hours. Through the night. Even when DS was asleep. And then got up and wash and sterilised the pump each time. For months. No wonder I was insane with sleep deprivation :/

Oh yes - microwave hotspots! We had pans of water right left and centre too.....

Ok I think I will reclaim my place in the front seat of the car now .

PfB DD is 6 months on on Saturday!

The first night pfb rolled onto his side to sleep we put him back on his back. He rolled over again, we put him back etc. Eventually we decided to take turns sitting up all night watching him sleep to make sure he didn't suffocate!

I still do some of these things and I've just had DC3

missmagnum I'm actually crying with laughter at the thought of somebody sat learning the song with this face

I was am very pfb with my Ds5 .

My most memorable is when I were staying at my Dms with Ds & i nipped to the local shop & when I got back my Dms friend had turned up and was holding Ds , I went physcho because this woman was holding my pfb as I didn't know her and she could of been a paedo or anything she isn't a Paedo btw just not a very nice person .

Ds had toddler milk twice a day until he was 41/2 as I had got it in to my head that it was the 'Rules' .
I wouldn't let him have anything unless it was organic etc
Now apart from insisting he drinks 8oz of milk at least a day I don't think I'm to pfb anymore

Oh and I also check Ds 3-4 times a night to make sure he is still breathing but that's due to his Asthma , I also insist he sleeps with 2 pillows and has done since he was 4 weeks old though they were propping the mattress up then (Doctor told me to)

I'm crying at the hover bath.
I was pretty lax with Dd overall, but my worst PFB moment was when she was two weeks old and I started watching a programme about the First World War. Switched it off again hurriedly in case the descriptions of the trenches gave her nightmares.

Never mind that she was asleep, couldn't see or hear that well anyway or would have any concept of what it was all about...

We religuously kept a note of how much milk pfb had (ff) and at what time, then calculated what he'd had in a 24hr period just to make sure he was feeding enough.
Until he was 6mo.
I have three little books filled with 8am: 30ml, 9.30am: 20ml, 1pm: 90ml (2hr sleep, on Daddy) ...ad infinitum! I shall keep them.

Yep, I kept notes of feeds, which breast, how long, whether DS1 fed to sleep etc. DH found them the other day and asked me what the bloody hell they were. I changed the subject.

Having to dress DS1 in an "outfit" if we left the house, lest someone believe I was a completely inept mother who couldn't even be arsed to get the baby dressed. The one time I allowed him out in a babygrow at 5 months of age (a white one with a pumpkin on for Halloween) a lady told me what a beautiful girl I had. I had a screaming hissy fit at my now-ex (this isn't the reason he's ex ) because it was his idea to put him in it and now people couldn't even guess his GENDER. DS2 wore babygrows constantly until 9/10 months. He's now 2 years and I still dress him in cute onesies if I can get away with it.

I only fed DS1 Plum weaning foods until he was 10/11 months because they advertised as organic and had fancy names, so must have been far superior to the shite I cooked. I weep if I attempt to work out how much I spent on the bastard things. Porridge in a morning, one for dinner, one for tea, and don't forget the fruit ones for dessert too. And the little snacky things for between meals. I should have taken out shares.

I had to go back to work when pfb was 1 year old, we had a nanny, my pfb was only to eat meals prepared from scratch from the Annabel Karmel book. As we live overseas and nanny didn't speak any English, I would plan out and shop for the week's meals then dh's job on a Sunday night was to translate every recipe as I copied them down by hand! For some reason I felt the need to change the plan every week so this went on and on. Dh got fed up so I resorted to google translate. The nanny was so worried about getting something wrong with the cooking, she would ask every morning what to do for breakfast even though for the whole year it was the same rotation of porridge, weetabix and eggs!

I phoned the maternity ward up at 2am because my ten week old, 'wouldn't stop crying....'