Flipping, freezing, sterilising and the just plain ludicrous - what daft things did you do with your PFB?

[NorthernLurker]

Talking to dd1 tonight (she is 15 and has two sisters) I remembered how totally inept dh and I were.

We:

Filled the baby bath and then carried it (taking two of us) in to the living room of our flat to bath her because it was warmer than the bathroom. Then after the bath we carried it back, sloshing right and left, to empty it.

The first night we had her at home we were so worried about overheating her we put her in a cradle in a vest with a sheet and single blanket, by a window, in April......then wondered why she cried all night and went to sleep when the sun came up.....

Sterilised the bowl for her breakfast until she was a year old. This was dh's job because I Was At Home All Day With The Baby! When he forgot and tried to get in to bed and go to sleep without doing it we had a row. Dh still complains of the 'tyranny of baby's bowl'

When she was six months old and started to roll she would roll herself on to her front to sleep. So every night we would check on her, find her on her front and flip her on to back. Unsurprisingly this woke her....but we kept doing it till my HV told me we were crazy!


Were we alone in this insanity?

[Luckygirlcharlie]

All of the above and also spending our savings on a night nurse who recorded every wee, poo and ounce of milk on a chart. Wtf?!

[Gilby]

Hahahaha. I was meant to get an early night tonight as DH away, and DS3 teething but reading these and giggling instead. Favourite PFB moment: getting 17 month old PFB to repeat my shopping list while wandering around the supermarket, so that she could practice her (already perfectly normal) speech and vocabulary: 'Can you say "lemongrass"?'…

[kiritekanawa]

possibly not PFB. If we manage to have kids successfully, DMIL will not be kissing them, and will not be preparing food for them. Thankfully, we live in a different country so this isn't likely to be a massive issue.

DMIL kisses all her immediate family full on the lips (children, grandchildren, though actually have never seen her do it to DFIL), every time she sees them. I absolutely hate watching it, partly because I'm at the other end of the social spectrum about boundaries and it makes me squirm, but also because DMIL has no grasp of microbiology or hygiene at all, gets cold sores regularly, gets food poisoning regularly from her deeply dodgy kitchen/bathroom hygiene, etc. Empirically, she passes everything she gets on to her grandkids - and all of the poor little things have been getting massive cold sores since they were tiny babies.

[feezap]

This thread just keeps getting better, although I can't get past the pine needles!

Squizita, I'm glad I'm not the only one

[squizita]

... oh and I had to delete my baby app! I was obsessed. Same people had to remind me that before apps, baby's developed "rooting" and "grizzling" or even "yelling" as alerts for feeding!

[squizita]

Feezap I'm a poo starer too!

[christinarossetti]

Oh yes to first exposure to peanuts being close to an a&e.

My DD had her first peanut butter sandwich when we were waiting for an antenatal apt when I was pregnant with her brother.

Maternity dept right next to a&e so I knew it made sense.

[feezap]

I, like PPs, thought I was pretty relaxed until I read this thread, now I think I am very PFB.

I am absolutely obsessed with PFB DS's poo, not just vaguely thinking it looks ok, but completely studying it, the colour, texture, trying to see what has gone through. I am sure its a good indicator of his overall health

Only I can put his clothes away in the correct order, DH doesn't even bother trying now.

Until about a week ago when DS turned 9 months and drop down to 3 feeds did I stop manically recording every feed, when, how long, which side I started on, if I pumped, how much I pumped then when he had the expressed milk, how much he had and how long it took. To be fair, I do have an app for this but I think in some ways it made me even more PFB.

We did the bath thing too, why?!

And I type this while I'm doing a night feed that he really can go without. he sleeps through mostly so if he does wake and I can't immediately resettle him I think he must be hungry!

I am clearly nuts

[imwithspud]

Haha this thread is hilarious. Didn't realise how PFB we were until reading it. My favourite has to be the warmed cucumber sticks

Things we did/still do that are PFB:

• Kept a diary of PFB's feeds, how long for and which breast she'd fed from. I can't remember how long we kept this up for but it was at least a few months. She ended up slightly jaundiced after the birth so I became really paranoid about making sure she was feeding enough. Kept the notebook we wrote everything down in so we can look back and laugh. We do similar with DC2 as well, except I just do it as a note on my phone and it's only because I struggle to remember which breast I last fed her from.
  

• Fed PFB 2 hourly during the day without fail for the first 6 months. Again this stems from when she became jaundiced at birth and was advised to wake her every 2 hourly to feed her. I'm sure after a few weeks/couple of months she no longer required the 2 hourly feeding's and could have gone longer but I was insistent.
  

• Still have a baby monitor in PFB's room, in fact when we moved her from a cot to a bed we bought a video monitor so we could see if she'd gotten out of bed or not, I mean it's not like we wouldn't be able to hear her shouting from the top of the stairs or anything
  

• Was really precious over naps and bedtime, still am to an extent. I'm resigned to the fact that when PFB goes to stay at either of her grandparents over night she will probably go without a nap and go to bed late.

[Brightonmumtoatoddler]

I became obsessed with the idea that my daughter had a nut allergy. I would worry every day that she might accidentally eat or touch a nut and would then immediately die of anaphylaxis.
I then concocted a very detailed plan involving me standing outside children's A&E with my daughter in one hand and a peanut in the other. I would then rub it on her lips and then if anything happened I was to run into a&e and get treatment started ASAP.
I told this plan to my nurse friend and she laughed until she cried.
I didn't carry out my plan. She isn't allergic to nuts at all. Seems I'm the nut.

[Alb1]

Pfb is 9 and a half months old so I hadn't really considered much of this crazy until I started reading this thread haha! So here's some of mine that might qualify:
Trying to sterilise all the toys and teething rings in the steriliser once - they mostly melted and I opened it to find a little toy, 2 dummies and 3 teething rings all in a big misshapen plastic clump in the bottom.
Getting a freshly sterilised dummy every time his touched the floor or a surface at all (teet down obviously) until he was about 6 months
Going nuts when DS was 6 weeks old and I watched DH wash the bottles and realised that he only used hot water to wash them and no soap! He said he thought soap would be bad for the bottles cos of the chemicals, Iv never been so mad haha!
Going anywhere in the car stopping after 50 mins to make sure DS didn't spend more than an hour in the car seat at once, very annoying when going on a long journey. Thinking about it we still do this but it's better for him right??
Sterilising medicine syringes until about a month ago despite stopping sterilising his dummies at 7 months...
Iv probably got loads more

[agapimou]

I convinced myself that dd's eczema was due to a cow's milk intolerance and promptly gave up all dairy. However I couldn't live without milk in my tea every morning so used to stand over the cup and squeeze my own breast milk into my tea. I don't recommend it.

[autumnboys]

I made MIL, FIL & SIL sit in the drive in their camper van when we came home from the hospital with our PFB. My lovely MIL cooked us a meal in the van, carried it to the back door, handed it in with a bottle of champagne and went back to eat her own in the van. It was winter. I graciously allowed DH to let them back in once I had gone to bed with the baby.

When the PFB learnt to roll and rolled off the sofa I phoned for an ambulance. He'd landed on his playgym which was on a mat on the carpet.

[MrsCK]

I woke up in the night when pfb was about 3 weeks old in a huge panic because all that time I'd been breastfeeding and hadn't sterilised my nipples...

[squizita]

MyPregLife That poor woman sounds like she's internalised all the irrational thoughts from Postnatal anxiety. She sounds ill! All that stuff about poisons and slings being bad (they aren't - the NHS recommends th for some conditions) smack of picking up a germ of truth (old style baby Bjorn aren't super for hips) and twisting it into enormity!
I know because I have CBT and hypnotherapy for exactly this.

...Not to mention what if her DD isn't a "success"? What if she's not as bright or sporty or we'll adjusted as they hope..? Poor woman will be distraught.

[knittingbee]

Only took the baby monitor out of PFB's room when DC2 arrived (PFB was nearly 3).

I often don't even bother turning it on for DC2. She's 1... To be fair, she's got a pretty good set of lungs and I can hear her perfectly well without it!

I actually cried laughing at booby milk cornflakes!

[MyPregLife]

I've just had a friend to stay with me and my 10 month old. She's mum to a 2yo and I was kind of dreading her coming as she's a real mega mum and I was worried she'd point out all my shortcomings . Which she did. Here's just a sample:
Got into our house and unpacked several pots and jars that she'd brought for my son, as "they love playing with lids at his age". (He doesn't)
Told me constantly when baby needed another layer/sunhat/drink.
Reminded me never to let him touch plastic, or put paper in his mouth as the dyes are carcinogenic and he might also get a paper cut.
Told me that slings (a lifesaver for me) were bad for his skeletal development but so are pushchairs. Her solution? Simply carry the baby in your arms all day. This allows Baby to move a little, thus improving muscle tone.
Never leave them in the buggy or car seat for longer than one hour.
No sugar or salt for first TWO years of life.
Always respond to a cry or whimper or outstretched arm from baby . Immediately.

You did all that for two years, I asked, incredulously. Aren't you exhausted?

Yes, she said. I am. Completely. I've started going to counselling to help. My husbands super worried about me. I haven't done anything for myself in years. I don't even know what I would do if I could. But my daughters a success and that's the main thing.

She's also decided not to have a second child as she doesn't have the capacity to give any more than she already is.

I actually found my time with her quite sad. I don't think she's happy at all even though her daughter is "a success". I put in about 50% of her effort but I'm pretty happy as a result.

I'll leave you with a glimpse of my ow parenting style. I let him crawl about with no nappy on yesterday to air off his little bot. You know where this is going don't you? Got distracted by my iPhone. Came back to find him sitting surrounded by poo and squishing it into the cracks in the floorboards.

[lavenderhoney]

I would like to add to this thread that BEFORE my pfb was born,so during pregnancy I only watched gentle gardening programs on tv etc, and ditched my interest in history and the leadership ideals behind it ( Stalin, China etc) in case somehow these thoughts made their way into my pf u borns head and turned he/ she into a mad dictator.

Not entirely sure it worked tbh:)

[confusedandemployed]

this thread is golden! I am frighteningly lax as a parent if this is anything to go by. Can I start a thread for shambolic relaxed parenting?

[glidingpig]

I sat in the back seat with DD until she was three. Tbh it was easier when she was in a rear facing seat and woke up all cross on a long journey, I could distract her. But she is 4.5 and still a bit annoyed with me for finally moving into the front seat. I should have done it way sooner.

We were on holiday once in a little harbour town, and DH walked out along the (huge, wide as a very wide pavement) harbour wall with baby DD in his arms. I flipped and screeched at him "DON'T THROW HER IN THE SEEEEEA." Because obviously he would have done if I hadn't mentioned it.

I also sobbed on a bus because it was too crowded to get DD out of the buggy and what if she had stopped breathing??? She was a hale and hearty seven month old at this time.

[Rtfairy]

Ah got it I think!

[Rtfairy]

What does PFB mean?!

[Lovelise]

A lot of these ring true with me! SO funny!

My stand out PFB moment is when I near on had a full on panic attack when the DH closed all 4 doors of the car when she was inside. Like the car doors would automatically lock and trap her inside or something?

I still don't like doing it now...!

[Selinemaratima]

This is great! I only just found out what PFB means today!
I so did the bath through the flat in front of radiator and the boob squirting into porridge ha ha but the worst PFB behaviour has to be on holiday; PFB (then 2) slipped through her rubber ring in the pool, - several of our friends were around her with their kids along with my DH - however I ran and leapt fully clothed and 7 months pregnant with DS into pool to 'save her' only reaching her once daddy had scooped her up and was blowing blurters giggling!

[WednesdayRebel]

I kept an iPhone app record of feeds and nappies - but LO went into NICU at birth. So I was constantly being asked by docs/nurses/midwives when she'd last fed, how much she'd had, how many nappies, what type of nappies, and bugger me if I could ever remember! I stopped when she was 3 weeks old.

I made everyone wash their hands before they could give her a cuddle until she was 6 weeks. Took her to an engagement party at 4 weeks and was HORRIFIED when people were kissing her ON THE FACE!

I'm still guilty at 7 months of warming LO's PJs and her bed. My other lasting PFB behaviour is being precious about her nap times. I get so angsty when leaving her with DM or DMIL that they won't put her down early enough.

I'm currently sitting in the dark with PFB napping on my lap because she has a cold and didn't get any sleep last night