Flipping, freezing, sterilising and the just plain ludicrous - what daft things did you do with your PFB?

[NorthernLurker]

Talking to dd1 tonight (she is 15 and has two sisters) I remembered how totally inept dh and I were.

We:

Filled the baby bath and then carried it (taking two of us) in to the living room of our flat to bath her because it was warmer than the bathroom. Then after the bath we carried it back, sloshing right and left, to empty it.

The first night we had her at home we were so worried about overheating her we put her in a cradle in a vest with a sheet and single blanket, by a window, in April......then wondered why she cried all night and went to sleep when the sun came up.....

Sterilised the bowl for her breakfast until she was a year old. This was dh's job because I Was At Home All Day With The Baby! When he forgot and tried to get in to bed and go to sleep without doing it we had a row. Dh still complains of the 'tyranny of baby's bowl'

When she was six months old and started to roll she would roll herself on to her front to sleep. So every night we would check on her, find her on her front and flip her on to back. Unsurprisingly this woke her....but we kept doing it till my HV told me we were crazy!

Were we alone in this insanity?

I think I am actually quite good at using common sense, but perhaps not all the time...

• first few nights home with DS I set the alarm every 4 hours (as we were told that baby should be eating every four hours), then kind of panicked when he didn't wake up, and we were unsure if we should wake him or not, decided to wait another half hour, so pushed the alarm back. Actually the first few nights at home he had his best sleep in his whole first year - if I had know this I would have perhaps enjoyed mine too rather than setting alarms.

• was totally obsessed with cleanliness and sterilizing, still am

I went to a mum and baby group when DS was about 3 months and would only let him play with toys that I took from home and of course only let him lay on the blanket I put down for him - found it too stressful to do that and not seem obsessed at the same time so never went back

• while night feeding I took his mattress from the moses basket and kept it under my duvet next to me to keep warm

• still sit in the back with him (DS is 20 months) in the car

• would take his yoghurt out of the fridge in advance to warm up

• used always use hot water to warm up his bottle, didn't even consider the microwave for the first year, but now I do heat up milk for him in a mug in the microwave and then pour into a bottle (I think that gets rid of any potential hotspots)

actually i'm worse than I thought - remembered a few more things:

• only washed myself with baby shampoo while breastfeeding (as didn't want DS to breathe the strong chemical smell that must be on my body from normal shower gel)

• DS drinks Evian water but only from glass bottles, as the plastic releases chemicals to the water. Actually he used to drink filtered-boiled-cooled tap water until DH thought it was not good enough for him. DH suggested Evian, I agreed, but only if glass bottles. nutters!

• still check for breathing (but don't usually wake him for that, so doesn't count)

DP used feed and change PFB at night, but would insist on changing her on the cold changing mat on the floor, stripping everything off etc, rather than doing a quick change on the bed. I stressed how traumatic this must be for PFB, but he kept doing it.

So when he was sleeping soundly I woke him up, dragged him out of bed and laid his naked body on the cold changing mat so he could experience the trauma for himself.

No one other than me and DH has kissed DD since she was born. My DM gets cold sores quite frequently and I out the fear of God into her about it. She hasn't had one since DD was born (10 weeks!)

If anyone touches DD's hands, they (slyly, if we're with family or friends) get the baby wipe and water treatment. ASAP.

I check her breathing several times a night, even though we have the angelcare movement monitor.

I'm terrible, i know. I'm working on it I'm not

Hilarious thread :) I was sitting here thinking "at least I never sterilized the syringe" until I remembered my pfb never had calpol incase it interfered with his precious virgin gut :o

One night I was so worried that my daughter was quiet (she was asleep!) I held a mirror in front of her face to check she was breathing. She was about two weeks old, I was a single parent which made me more concerned about doing everything "right".

DD is 9 1/2 weeks now. She was in NICU for the first two weeks which definitely exacerbated my first time mum anxieties. A ward full of paediatric nurses wasn't good enough for me to be sure she was being well taken care of (which she was!) and in the middle of the night I would send dh down to check she was still OK! He got even less sleep than me but indulged me to put my mind at rest :)

It was necessary for us to be sterile happy for a while because of her illness, but not once every went home. It didn't stop us spending a fortune on Dettol dispensers for use next to every tap. The hospital told us we could just sterilise the bottle she used to drink out of once a day and then rinse it with hot tap water between feeds. I still sterilise them every time and will do up to six months. There is something so urgh about not cleaning it every time. Just to note, dh does not do this and she has yet to come to any harm as a result of drinking from a rinsed bottle

I think we are allowed as parents to have these moments of precious aren't we?! :)

Oh and I definitely prod her to see if she is breathing! Much to her annoyance sometimes!

PFB DD is 5 weeks old. I haven't done anything too bonkers but I do check her breathing a lot. I just put my hand on her chest rather than wake her up. I think it helps that DP has two older children and has been through the PFBness already.

I kept an iPhone app record of feeds and nappies - but LO went into NICU at birth. So I was constantly being asked by docs/nurses/midwives when she'd last fed, how much she'd had, how many nappies, what type of nappies, and bugger me if I could ever remember! I stopped when she was 3 weeks old.

I made everyone wash their hands before they could give her a cuddle until she was 6 weeks. Took her to an engagement party at 4 weeks and was HORRIFIED when people were kissing her ON THE FACE!

I'm still guilty at 7 months of warming LO's PJs and her bed. My other lasting PFB behaviour is being precious about her nap times. I get so angsty when leaving her with DM or DMIL that they won't put her down early enough.

I'm currently sitting in the dark with PFB napping on my lap because she has a cold and didn't get any sleep last night

This is great! I only just found out what PFB means today!
I so did the bath through the flat in front of radiator and the boob squirting into porridge ha ha but the worst PFB behaviour has to be on holiday; PFB (then 2) slipped through her rubber ring in the pool, - several of our friends were around her with their kids along with my DH - however I ran and leapt fully clothed and 7 months pregnant with DS into pool to 'save her' only reaching her once daddy had scooped her up and was blowing blurters giggling!

A lot of these ring true with me! SO funny!

My stand out PFB moment is when I near on had a full on panic attack when the DH closed all 4 doors of the car when she was inside. Like the car doors would automatically lock and trap her inside or something?

I still don't like doing it now...!

What does PFB mean?!

Ah got it I think!

I sat in the back seat with DD until she was three. Tbh it was easier when she was in a rear facing seat and woke up all cross on a long journey, I could distract her. But she is 4.5 and still a bit annoyed with me for finally moving into the front seat. I should have done it way sooner.

We were on holiday once in a little harbour town, and DH walked out along the (huge, wide as a very wide pavement) harbour wall with baby DD in his arms. I flipped and screeched at him "DON'T THROW HER IN THE SEEEEEA." Because obviously he would have done if I hadn't mentioned it.

I also sobbed on a bus because it was too crowded to get DD out of the buggy and what if she had stopped breathing??? She was a hale and hearty seven month old at this time.

this thread is golden! I am frighteningly lax as a parent if this is anything to go by. Can I start a thread for shambolic relaxed parenting?

I would like to add to this thread that BEFORE my pfb was born,so during pregnancy I only watched gentle gardening programs on tv etc, and ditched my interest in history and the leadership ideals behind it ( Stalin, China etc) in case somehow these thoughts made their way into my pf u borns head and turned he/ she into a mad dictator.

Not entirely sure it worked tbh:)

I've just had a friend to stay with me and my 10 month old. She's mum to a 2yo and I was kind of dreading her coming as she's a real mega mum and I was worried she'd point out all my shortcomings . Which she did. Here's just a sample:
Got into our house and unpacked several pots and jars that she'd brought for my son, as "they love playing with lids at his age". (He doesn't)
Told me constantly when baby needed another layer/sunhat/drink.
Reminded me never to let him touch plastic, or put paper in his mouth as the dyes are carcinogenic and he might also get a paper cut.
Told me that slings (a lifesaver for me) were bad for his skeletal development but so are pushchairs. Her solution? Simply carry the baby in your arms all day. This allows Baby to move a little, thus improving muscle tone.
Never leave them in the buggy or car seat for longer than one hour.
No sugar or salt for first TWO years of life.
Always respond to a cry or whimper or outstretched arm from baby . Immediately.

You did all that for two years, I asked, incredulously. Aren't you exhausted?

Yes, she said. I am. Completely. I've started going to counselling to help. My husbands super worried about me. I haven't done anything for myself in years. I don't even know what I would do if I could. But my daughters a success and that's the main thing.

She's also decided not to have a second child as she doesn't have the capacity to give any more than she already is.

I actually found my time with her quite sad. I don't think she's happy at all even though her daughter is "a success". I put in about 50% of her effort but I'm pretty happy as a result.

I'll leave you with a glimpse of my ow parenting style. I let him crawl about with no nappy on yesterday to air off his little bot. You know where this is going don't you? Got distracted by my iPhone. Came back to find him sitting surrounded by poo and squishing it into the cracks in the floorboards.

Only took the baby monitor out of PFB's room when DC2 arrived (PFB was nearly 3).

I often don't even bother turning it on for DC2. She's 1... To be fair, she's got a pretty good set of lungs and I can hear her perfectly well without it!

I actually cried laughing at booby milk cornflakes!

MyPregLife That poor woman sounds like she's internalised all the irrational thoughts from Postnatal anxiety. She sounds ill! All that stuff about poisons and slings being bad (they aren't - the NHS recommends th for some conditions) smack of picking up a germ of truth (old style baby Bjorn aren't super for hips) and twisting it into enormity!
I know because I have CBT and hypnotherapy for exactly this.

...Not to mention what if her DD isn't a "success"? What if she's not as bright or sporty or we'll adjusted as they hope..? Poor woman will be distraught.

I woke up in the night when pfb was about 3 weeks old in a huge panic because all that time I'd been breastfeeding and hadn't sterilised my nipples...

I made MIL, FIL & SIL sit in the drive in their camper van when we came home from the hospital with our PFB. My lovely MIL cooked us a meal in the van, carried it to the back door, handed it in with a bottle of champagne and went back to eat her own in the van. It was winter. I graciously allowed DH to let them back in once I had gone to bed with the baby.

When the PFB learnt to roll and rolled off the sofa I phoned for an ambulance. He'd landed on his playgym which was on a mat on the carpet.

I convinced myself that dd's eczema was due to a cow's milk intolerance and promptly gave up all dairy. However I couldn't live without milk in my tea every morning so used to stand over the cup and squeeze my own breast milk into my tea. I don't recommend it.

Pfb is 9 and a half months old so I hadn't really considered much of this crazy until I started reading this thread haha! So here's some of mine that might qualify:
Trying to sterilise all the toys and teething rings in the steriliser once - they mostly melted and I opened it to find a little toy, 2 dummies and 3 teething rings all in a big misshapen plastic clump in the bottom.
Getting a freshly sterilised dummy every time his touched the floor or a surface at all (teet down obviously) until he was about 6 months
Going nuts when DS was 6 weeks old and I watched DH wash the bottles and realised that he only used hot water to wash them and no soap! He said he thought soap would be bad for the bottles cos of the chemicals, Iv never been so mad haha!
Going anywhere in the car stopping after 50 mins to make sure DS didn't spend more than an hour in the car seat at once, very annoying when going on a long journey. Thinking about it we still do this but it's better for him right??
Sterilising medicine syringes until about a month ago despite stopping sterilising his dummies at 7 months...
Iv probably got loads more

I became obsessed with the idea that my daughter had a nut allergy. I would worry every day that she might accidentally eat or touch a nut and would then immediately die of anaphylaxis.
I then concocted a very detailed plan involving me standing outside children's A&E with my daughter in one hand and a peanut in the other. I would then rub it on her lips and then if anything happened I was to run into a&e and get treatment started ASAP.
I told this plan to my nurse friend and she laughed until she cried.
I didn't carry out my plan. She isn't allergic to nuts at all. Seems I'm the nut.