Flipping, freezing, sterilising and the just plain ludicrous - what daft things did you do with your PFB?

[NorthernLurker]

Talking to dd1 tonight (she is 15 and has two sisters) I remembered how totally inept dh and I were.

We:

Filled the baby bath and then carried it (taking two of us) in to the living room of our flat to bath her because it was warmer than the bathroom. Then after the bath we carried it back, sloshing right and left, to empty it.

The first night we had her at home we were so worried about overheating her we put her in a cradle in a vest with a sheet and single blanket, by a window, in April......then wondered why she cried all night and went to sleep when the sun came up.....

Sterilised the bowl for her breakfast until she was a year old. This was dh's job because I Was At Home All Day With The Baby! When he forgot and tried to get in to bed and go to sleep without doing it we had a row. Dh still complains of the 'tyranny of baby's bowl'

When she was six months old and started to roll she would roll herself on to her front to sleep. So every night we would check on her, find her on her front and flip her on to back. Unsurprisingly this woke her....but we kept doing it till my HV told me we were crazy!

Were we alone in this insanity?

Oh it's too much. My mascara is running again! The hover bath, the singing babysitters and staying up all night to flip the the poor mites back over time and time again!

I was every bit the nutter with Pfb but I think im finding this so incredibly funny because DC3 is still only 17 months. I can honestly say I have gone from every bit the pfb nutter to totally relaxed.

I use my own common sense and everything .

Quite surprised to see some mums of 2 and 3 D'C's admitting they are still much the same! Maybe because my 3 had reflux I have been desensitised!!

The diary thing brought back a hilarious memory.
I too would write down every feed, which boob, how long. So it would look like this....

02.03am LB 10 Mins, RB 15 mins
04.43am RB 20 mins, LB 5 mins

Of course it would take two of us to breast feed him . So my poor DH would get up, change his nappy and fetch me some water. He'd help to latch him on as I was struggling with it. Then his job after that was to stare at the DVD clock (because of course we would get up together and sit in the livingroom) and time it.

One night he had the nerve to nod off and hadn't timed the feed. Well, the bastard bastard. He couldn't even tell me which boob he had last. It was a simple job and he couldn't even do that I mean, where was the support ? We rowed, I cried, it was all very distressing.

Then we eventually realised DS had been sleeping for 10 mins so we both crept through to put him in his moses basket. Then fell asleep - with the light on of course. PFB was scared of the dark .

My poor DC3 has just been dragged up I tell you!

With DD1 and DS2 my DH would lie and snore at the side of me then moan how tired he was in the morning. Maybe it was the odd accidental kick!

Oh I did quite a few of these

Changed newborn nappy with every night feed (although to be fair, there always was a little bit of poo in it)

Kept a list of feeds and nappies for a few weeks (ex SCBU syndrome)

Bought baby sunglasses (they got used approximately 0.5 times)

Convinced myself DD was dying when she had trapped wind

I still sit in the back seat with DD on long journeys and she's 15 months old (she gets very very cross if she is bored... definitely a PFB )

hoverbath wins for me

Actually, 'sweating disease' deserves a mention, brilliant!

Loving minimagoo's story with the parents and the feathered poo

Ds1 had feeding difficulties as a baby and was in and out of hospital as he refused to drink milk. Looking back he survived on a pitifully small volume of formula. But I went totally over the top with the milk diary - every ounce was recorded, and invariably I would be in tears and majorly stressed at the end of every day because he had drunk so little. He didn't start solids until he was 15mo so the milk diary continued for 15 months... I wasn't organised enough to have an A4 notebook, so we had a multitude of A4 sheets of computer paper strewn about the house. Until I gathered them all into an A4 folder, where I kept them with all his hospital letters. Looking back, I had PND, I was way over the top with the milk diary despite his medical problems, and I thoroughly enjoyed binning the folder with the evidence of my madness!!

If you feel a need to check your baby is still breathing I find a hand lightly rested on the chest is less disturbing than a poke. DS is 20 months...

For the first two weeks of his life DS was bathed in a washing up bowl on his bedroom floor. In my defence it was mostly a space issue. We then were lent a baby bath that sits above the main bath and it got much better.

I still sometimes sit in the back with DS at 20 months but that's partly because there's more legroom there because his seat means the front passenger seat needs to be right forwards and partly because its easier to entertain him so he doesn't scream for the whole journey not like going home from the hospital where I had to watch him breathe the whole way

Worrying about him being too squashed in his bouncy chair and lifting him out of it when he was napping.

Oh and that first pee, that's a "rusty colour"? We'd totally forgotten about that description so rang the maternity ward in a panic that DS was peeing blood.

I did the freezing bit being scared of overheating :-) She's in July so was too cold only in the moring and setteled down again when I put he on me in our bed.

I remember when she was about 1 or 2 weeks sitting on a sofa with her sleeping in my hands and me carefully monitoring her breathing for iregularities and counting how long is the pause between the two breaths. Just in case she stopped breathing for some reason.

Sat next to my 6 week old and these have cheered me up no end after a bad few days.

We had a breast feeding notebook with which boob, how long and the time.

We had a few mystery escape wees that soaked his babygro but had not touched his nappy, we didn't panic, I was more impressed!

I don't think I've done anything too overly PFB but I suppose there is time yet!

Laughed so hard at hover bath, no more tears testing and warmed cucumber sticks!

Oh dear, I just woke DD up from her post-feed doze by laughing, especially at breastmilk cornflakes! She isn't terribly impressed.

She is my PFB and is only fifteen weeks old so not enough time has passed yet for me to realise how barking the stuff I'm doing is.

I was near hysterical every time my DP took the bottles out of the steriliser and put the bottles back together using his fingers rather than the tongs to handle the teats. I did know my reaction was completely over the top but couldn't stop myself!

Bertie I regularly fields those calls...

Yes ladies, we get a LOT of these kind of calls on the maternity ward.

I've decided no question is a stupid question with gritted teeth and a smile!.

My favourite was someone who wanted to know if they could wear heels 6 weeks after a caesarean. At 2am in the morning.

It's stuck in my mind for several years!

Jellyandcake I hated this too! Baby who smelt like an old granny all night after being cuddled by a perfume wearer.
I told all my relatives that ds was allergic to perfume and it made him sneeze/cough at night so they all stopped wearing it! I was so precious!
I didn't do it this time around, though my mum remembered and didn't wear it when coming to visit dd.
I hate strong perfume at the best of times!

God this is so funny!
Hoverbath is my favourite so far....

I was so worried about parabens and methyl-this and that, that I used cotton wool and water on PFB's bottom till he was FOUR MONTHS! I'm still slightly chemical averse so now use Tesco unfragranced wipes.

I hate to spoil the flow of this thread to make a serious point but it has made me think.

This thread proves that HV's, GP's and the general information given to us when we become new parents is actually spoiling it for us. To much Health and Safety and to much pushed down our throats making us absolutely terrified to use our own common sense, maternal instinct and actually enjoy it.

It sums it up when we are sterilizing daft while our LO's are crawling around licking pram wheels - and the dog!

Flipping babies over 20 times a night from the position they are comfortable in to the position the HV gave us in a leaflet.

Two fingers to them I say!

Right, that's enough of me. Bring on more funnies!

I love these. They've made me laugh so much. I used cotton wool and water until DD was about 1. Wipes made her sore.

I was pretty neurotic...I used to record the feeding time and which boon on my phone...I still warm PJs on the radiator...she's 4.

I was worried about buying a different shower gel because DD wouldn't recognise the smell.

I would change her bath towel daily and wash the bath daily with washing up liquid...I figured the chemicals wouldn't be as harsh...

Right, I'm off to rewrite the instructions for next weeks babysitters for 16 week old DD - am taking out the song lyrics, and maybe buying some wipes instead of cotton wool...

On the whole I haven't been too pfb, but I had a couple of bonkers moments in the early, sleep-deprived hormonal days.

When DS was a few days old I noticed tiny flecks of blood in a bit of milk he had just brought up and was literally shaking like a leaf as I dialled the maternity ward. It was only when the midwife asked what colour the blood was that it dawned on me that my cracked nipples were bleeding.

Another night I was worried about whether DS was putting on enough weight (he lost quite a bit post-birth) so I put him on the kitchen scales, which informed me that he was a whole 2lb lighter than his birth weight. I went into total meltdown over the fact that I was clearly starving my baby before it occurred to me that maybe trying to balance a baby on a small digital scale wasn't a particularly accurate way to weigh him.

Loving these, I know I was suffering from PFB badly, we used to sterilize everything in sight including dummies the tongs for the bottles and until a year old the calpol dispenser.

We would not let anyone in the house for the first couple of weeks at first. We said it was because we wanted some time on our own, but it was just so nobody would bring their germs in.

I still put the phones on mute when she sleeps incase it wakes her up. I think the worst thing I did was breathe her in, I used to spend hours and I mean hours an inch or so away from her face breathing in her breath as I wanted her to be in my tummy again when it was just us.

I still check her breathing every time I wake up just in case I didn't hear the alarm - oh yes she is over 2 and we still have the breathing sensor alarm on in her bedroom. The doctor got so fed up of me seeing him as the alarm kept going off he finally told us to turn the sensor down as not to be so sensitive

In my defence, she is my only one and we were very lucky to have her.

These are brilliant. My dd is 5 weeks old and I feel so ridiculously laid back after reading this! I'm surprised I don't do anything totally nuts

I think I've done everything with my premmie twins that's been talked about on this thread.
On a serious note,it's just beginning to dawn on me that I may have suffered from pnd.
On a lighter slightly crazier note, I used to warm fruit which was kept in the fridge,up in a bowl of warm water and also did the same with yoghurts!!
I would like to say that I don't do that anymore but it would only apply to the fruit!
I also did the nappy change with every feed......... With 3 hourly feeds for the twins when they first came home......it's no wonder I was a walking zombie!!
Still warm their pj's on the raids to and they are almost 3!
I know deep down I'm being totally irrational at times but can't help it!
Ho hum!

Not me, but I got a right telling off in hospital for putting ds down in his cot with his head to the top rather than feet to the bottom. I was fairly sure (even in my post-op haze) that I hadn't done this, but it kept happening. Eventually I spied on him and realised he was pushing himself up. Skinny baby with no weight on him and a lot of determination.

I don't think it's precious to sit in the back seat with them though. I used to do that (on the few occasions we went by car) just because I liked their company. In my book it's no more precious liking the company of your child than the company of your spouse. I have been known to sit in the back seat with dd (17) if we have something we want to talk about.

I was never too pfb with DS but I had my moments, almost broke myself carrying the baby bath from the bathroom to the bedroom so he could have his bath next to the radiator (I do still warm up everybody's nightclothes after baths, they are 13, 8 and 2!) and will admit to doing a check up on all of them before I go to bed I don't poke though.

I once took my PFB out in the sling and he was against my chest all cosied up. I got 5 minutes down the road and panicked because I might be suffocating him as he wasn't moving. Had to wake him up in the end to reassure myself and then spent another 20 minutes getting back to sleep.

It didn't occur to me that he was just really asleep because he was comfortable....

And I have to admit that DS was almost 4 before I noticed he could open his own banana and I didn't have to do it for him