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Parenting

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Original poster

Working class parents don't know how to raise children!

156 replies

speedymama · 31/07/2006 15:38

A long time friend of mine is married to an Australian. They are visiting friends and family in the UK with their 2 children. I have met the wife before when we visited Sydney so I'm accustomed to her blunt declarations but this time I really had to control myself.

They were staying overnight at our house and she said that she loved watching Supernanny. She then said that working class people have no idea about raising children and they were the reason why society was breaking down. I was completely poleaxed by that comment and did not respond. DH and I are both from poor working class backgrounds but her father is a millionaire and her DH, who I met at university, is very middle class. She then repeated the comment again later on and DH & I held our tongues for the sake of harmony. I wanted to point out that parenting is not a class issue etc but I know that this would have led to a heated argument (she is very strident when it comes to arguing her point) and I did not want to create an atmosphere, especially as there were 4 children under the age of 3 in my house. I was so relieved when they left the following morning.

What would you have done?

OP posts:

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colditz · 03/08/2006 14:58

Would you ever even consider putting ketchup in a sandwich? Do you own a deep fryer? Working class.

Do you know how to spatchcock an organic chicken? Middle class.

kittywits · 03/08/2006 15:03

colditz · 03/08/2006 15:05

I'm pretty accurate though, you know I am.

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Then you might like threads about these subjects:

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kittywits · 03/08/2006 15:31

You're right!
What about halloumi (sp?) cheese?

kittywits · 03/08/2006 15:33

There's me struggling with some vague definition that could never be pinned down et voila!! The food does it everytime!

FioFio · 03/08/2006 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

suejonez · 03/08/2006 15:53

slightly off the point but...

I'm the first professional in a working class family and my grandfather was always hugely proud that I worked in an office. Some years ago, I had a promotion and proudly told him that i was now earning £xx,xxx per annum. Instead of the usual proud, ooh you're doing well, comment there was a slight pause and...

"How much is that per week?"

I realised that he'd never earned a monthly salary in his life and only ever though of money as weekly, I don't think he could imagine being able to afford to wait a whole month to get your wages. I suddenly felt very privileged - it was really down to my grandparents working as hard as they did to educate their children that my generation of the family have the standard of living that we do.

alligator · 03/08/2006 16:08

I dont consider myself to be middle class SFPC. I'm a culchie from the boglands of kildare and proud of it. Just keep getting told (mainly by dp's family) that I am cos of said degree and job. the english class system is a minefield to me.

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 03/08/2006 16:53

Fio, I don't think every WC erson wants to be MC though do they? I can't say I am particularly arsed, TBH.

It is all rather meaningless tho at the end of the day isn't it? Surely all that's needed to be known is those who are deprived and those who aren't.

FioFio · 03/08/2006 16:54

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Amanda1 · 03/08/2006 16:55

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mumfor1standfinaltime · 03/08/2006 17:03

Colditz your view of working class is making me laugh! Especially the social housing bit!
My dad had a job where he got his hands dirty, he is uneducated and he can't even write a cheque out! But he owns his own home and drives a car.

I really think that it depends on where you live and how you yourself were brought up to how you define class. As I said earlier down the page my friend (whom I work with) has a degree, I don't. We are doing the same job. She insists she is middle class purely because she has been to uni and because she rents privately lol!

suejonez · 03/08/2006 17:06

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair - I agree, not sure if I am WC or MC and also not sure I care. My wc grandparents worked bloody hard so that their children wouldn't have to work in coal mines, copperworks, in service, school cleaners etc and could have a better standrad of living. I don't think it occured to them (or any of us) that that might also move us into the twilight zone of being middle class, and I don't think they would have given a stuff if they had thought about it. moving class (if that is what we've done) was a side effect not an aim.

Think I'm Confused Class.

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 03/08/2006 17:29

Fio- my MIL is a bit like that, a pretender MC. Collects carp, does sugarcraft has a nice house (dodgily acquired LOL).... but she still gets wrecked on Liebfraumilch (yuck) and flashes her (gorgeous ) legs at poeple when she's out on the pull.

makes me PMSL but also [sd] that she's not happy to be who she is.

SSSandy · 03/08/2006 17:46

This class business and how preoccupied people are with it is the biggest turn-off for me about life in the UK. You have someone sized up after hearing their accent and checking a few test words, then you know if there is an acquired veneer covering up who they REALLY are! It's usually possible to probe and find out where they went to school - then you have them sussed. It's even worse than when people want to know your zodiac sign as soon as they meet you, thinking they then know everything about you.

Snobbism exists everywhere to a degree, I imagine, but class obsession is SO British that I'm actually giggling at this thread, seen from outside it seems so archaic. I know in Germany it's all about what job you do - mind you that's annoying too!

southeastastra · 03/08/2006 17:51

yep the class system is pathetic good post sssandy, i found when i worked in london, i was though of as very working class, because i didn't speak 'posh' like the sloanies i worked with

kittywits · 03/08/2006 18:00

I don't think it's pathetic atall. Most people need to feel that they are a member of something. It gives them a place and they feel secure within that. You hear most working class people going on about how proud they are to be working class! I don't think they would call the class system pathetic.

SSSandy · 03/08/2006 18:04

unnecessarily divisive

SSSandy · 03/08/2006 18:07

shouldn't have derailed the thread though, sorry about that- Back to whether wc parents know how to raise dc or not

kittywits · 03/08/2006 18:31

But society divides itself anyway. If you took away the class system as it stands it would be replaced with another system which categorizes its members just as much. I believe that is human/animal nature. Look at large groups of monkeys. They have a very rigid class system.

southeastastra · 03/08/2006 18:32

they have a hierarchy (sp) system not a class system (animals)

kittywits · 03/08/2006 18:34

same thing

southeastastra · 03/08/2006 18:38

you don't get many middle-class monkeys

kittywits · 03/08/2006 18:41

Do you know that or are you guessing? Does monkey world consist of only top and bottom? I have understood otherwise from progs I have seen.

southeastastra · 03/08/2006 18:45

i have seen a few at london zoo reading the daily mail!

it's survival of the fittest in the wild

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