Husband complaining about baby weight after only 3 months post birth!

[Mamabear12]

My husband is really pissing me off. He keeps making stupid comments about my weight and asking if I'm putting more weight on. Asking why it's taking so long to lose the weight. It makes me feel so angry. This is my second child and it's only 3 months post birth! I gained a lot of weight, 23 kilos, but now only have 8 kgs to lose! Still a lot, but I think I've lost a lot in 3 months already. Not to mention, I'm breastfeed and tired with two kids under age of two! I find it hard to diet and exercise.

I wish he would be nice and more supportive. I imagine most husbands would not be so stupid, careless and mean to comment about weight only 3 months having the baby. I would think most would say its fine, ur doing well, etc.

What did your husbands say after birth about weight gain? Im so angry right now. Argh.

OMG

Completely and utterly unreasonable of him!!! Even when you lose the weight your body shape may be forever changed.

9 months to gain the weight, 9 months to lose it.

LTB

Seriously. If my DP ever said that I'd tell him to fuck off. Just reading your post has raged me

Tell him to fuck off. I bet he's not the lithe beauty he was at 21 either. Silly bastard.

Sp has he never gained a pound the whole time you have been together? He sounds like a twat.

My OH said nothing, either time. He was still awestruck at how magnificent I'd been with pregnancy and birth and everything that entailed. He still thinks I was amazing, and my baby is 18 now.
Your OH is being vile, he should be looking after them both on a regular basis so that you can have some time to yourself. Then you could go swimming, walking or sit in a cafe eating cake and watching the world go by.
Either you or a friend need to give him a boot up the bum.

I'd like to come round to your house candid kick your husband in the shins. What an utter spoon.

Good god, what a bastard. Tell him to fuck right off!

You've grown a person ffs!

My ds is 11 months and my DH never said a word to me about my weight - good men don't!

Sorry op :(

I'd tell him to piss off to tbh. Unacceptable and he sounds like a dick. Make him get on the scales or comment on his belly being bigger than when you met and ask HIM what HE is going to do about it! How insensitive is he?!

Advise him he is not the peak of physical perfection, so he can only comment/give advice when he is.

If he mentions it again. LTB. Seriously.

Your dh sounds like a prize dick.

Good grief, tell him to get knotted. My baby is five and I've still to lose the weight. DH hasn't said a word.

He sounds very shallow, what will he think when you are both in your mid-fifties and both plumper and more wrinkly than now?

That is horrible. What an awful way for him to treat you. It would be bad of him to complain about 8 kg any time (it doesn't make you worryingly obese), but 3 months post birth? I'm amazed you've managed to lose so much!

What an utter fuck wad.

My husband would never, ever say anything about my weight. Ever. At 3 months post DS my husband thought I was made of gold and shat golden nuggets, he would never be so callous or indeed shallow to even think it let alone say anything, repeatedly.

You really do deserve to be treated better by your husband OP.

Not acceptable. What else does he do?

Next time he comments reply that you do need to lose some weight quickly. About 13st would do the trick.

Well, it sounds utterly twattish. It's a high risk area for a conversation at the best of times (even if genuinely well intentioned) and just a no-no so soon after childbirth.

Any idea why he's fixated on it?

Hi Mama, I'm so sorry you're having to put up with that. You're not alone. My DP makes shitty comments about my appearance sometimes - he thinks he's being funny but it's nasty. He actually did it this week and after stewing for about an hour I completely lost it. I told him I won't put up with it anymore etc etc. He seemed to talk it on board, admitted he'd been a complete dick etc. it's just totally unacceptable for a man to do that to his partner (or vice versa) and I'm not putting up with it.

It's completely irrelevant but I'm a size 8/10 and its taken me a long time to realise there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way I look.

The day after I lost it with my DP he was still extremely contrite and very pissed off with himself (quite rightly). I'm taking a hard line on this now and I suggest you do the same. I honestly have no idea why my otherwise lovely DP thinks its ok to make comments about my appearance - some men just seem to think its ok. It's really fucking not!

I agree with other posters - I ended up pointing out his physical flaws - mature? No but perfectly justified. I would never normally be horrible about anyone's appearance but if you provoke me enough... Doing that seemed to have an effect as well.

Good luck with putting an end to your partners comments. They absolutely shouldn't be tolerated.

This will really get get the mummies steamed up on a saturday night

I hope you get lots of support, OP

Omg!!!

He wouldnt like to be married to me!

I was 12 stone when i fell pregnant, due to a terrible pregnancy i was 18 stone whilst in labour!

Dd is now 15 months, and i weigh 14 stone 10 pounds!

Husband is a shit. Nice husbands are not so stupid, careless and mean as to mention weight ever, unless you are clinically obese and they have serious and genuine concerns for your wellbeing.

What weight will you be when you lose the 8kg? Is that a weight at which you feel good and healthy or is that a weight he thinks would be good for you?

What a horrible thing to do. Please don't put up with it, next time he does it just say "oh I'm sorry, Brad Pitt" and leave the room.

Or not, but who the fuck does he think he is.

Worrying about your weight should be the last thing on your mind, and absolutely the last thing on his, like you say you've lost loads and you will keep losing weight naturally because you have two children and they sort of keep you moving around!

I'm really at him for you. A persons weight is just something you do not comment on, it's got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else unless it is a massive health risk or something which in your case it obviously is not!

Ask him at what point is he going to squeeze a small human out of an orifice. When he does he can comment on any aspect of your appearance he likes.Till then he can fuck the fuck off.

He has mentioned this a few times. Always commenting about what I eat etc. before the kids I was thin and he would make dumb comments about what I eat and going to the gym. He even makes comments about our daughter who is not even two bc she is in 90th centile for weight! I told him he better not talk about her weight etc bc it could cause eating disorders later in life.

I have told him he is a dick, an asshole to F off etc. I even just showed him all the comments I received and he STILL does not get it. He is being a real ass about this. I plan to embarrass him in front of all our friends every chance I get about this subject. When ever we see friends they usually say something nice like you look well etc, and I will say thanks, please tell my husband, since he keeps telling me I need to lose weight faster!

I told him most men would not be so rude and insensitive to comment about weight after a baby! I said if a year has gone by and I haven't lost the weight then fine. Make a comment. But after 3 months is just plain rude and stupid.

I am so angry right now.

Poor you. Your h sounds selfish and horrible. He should love you as you are, you've borne his children after all. DH never commented on my baby weight. Well done you for only having 8kg to go. Tell your DH to eff off.