Husband complaining about baby weight after only 3 months post birth!

[Mamabear12]

My husband is really pissing me off. He keeps making stupid comments about my weight and asking if I'm putting more weight on. Asking why it's taking so long to lose the weight. It makes me feel so angry. This is my second child and it's only 3 months post birth! I gained a lot of weight, 23 kilos, but now only have 8 kgs to lose! Still a lot, but I think I've lost a lot in 3 months already. Not to mention, I'm breastfeed and tired with two kids under age of two! I find it hard to diet and exercise.

I wish he would be nice and more supportive. I imagine most husbands would not be so stupid, careless and mean to comment about weight only 3 months having the baby. I would think most would say its fine, ur doing well, etc.

What did your husbands say after birth about weight gain? Im so angry right now. Argh.

Tribpot, he hasn't commented about my breasts. But I can see with my eyes they have been ruined :( they used to be my favourite part of body. Perky and perfect :) after getting pregnant with first they went up to size e and I breastfeed 13 months, got pregnant again and so they are now huge and saggy! They have done their job at feeding two beautiful children and I'm thankful for that. But, they are not like how they used to be. :(

Im the same height as you. I'm trying to get DOWN to your current weight, post my two DCs!

Bumps

My XH never commented about my weight gain, and if I mentioned it he would make it clear that he didn't care. Your husband is a nasty cunt.

My dh couldn't have cared less about me being about 3 stone over my pre birth weight seeing as I nearly died due to complications after the first cs. That kind of thing puts everything into perspective.

After my second cs, about a year later he made a comment about the funny overhang. He didn't do it again.

Is your dh some kind of Adonis? Ask him to kindly arrange a spa weekend for you once a month with treatments and he can have the dc. Unless you are bf, and then he can fuck right off. Really, I'm quite cross for you. He is spoiling it. Your babies love you whatever weight you are, and I hope you love yourself too.

He's certainly a knob, sorry. He would get on well with my mil though.

Keep this in your mind before you give up work and become too reliant on him. And don't let him talk to you like that in front of the dc.

I hope he has a perfect body. Tell him to fuck off

LTB seems a bit extreme right now but it never hurts to see a future scenario without this fool.
Maybe you could show him a rapid weightloss technique I have found. However it involves a chainsaw...

your weight is already fine

your husband sounds like a dick

have a look round and see if you could do better

I wouldn't want to be less than that if I was your height. I'm 5'2" and 64kg and when I was bfing I was at least 3 kg heavier. I suspect the remaining weight you are concerned about will go when you stop bfing but that is not his concern.

You need to eat enough to feel fit and good and feed your DC. You are not feeding him after all.

3 months don't you dare . You know he's being a dick. Ignore him and snuggle your kids all the more, i would really give him the cold shoulder. Some men are unbelievable !!!!

And he is pro breastfeeding! So I'm like, u want me to drop all the weight and breastfeed! I need to eat to breastfeed! Duh!

I miss my kids now and want to cuddle them (both asleep). Tomorrow morning I will give the, both lots of cuddles and give my husband the cold shoulder.

At first I thought LTB, he's a dick, but you say this is the only issue he's this nasty about. Does he have food issues? Or fudge grow up with somebody that did? If do, he's still being an arsehole, but he might be able to change. Otherwise, he's just an arsehole.

If he's that controlling and shallow that he is obsessed with other people's appearances I would be very worried.

and yes, constant comments to your children can cause disorders. My big sister has had years of bulimia and anorexia because I was really skinny and people would comment on it. She's gone through hell, now has a heart murmer and has ruined her teeth all because of hurtful thoughtless comments.

He's a dick. Maybe you should tell him you're not the one who needs to change

OP, if your breasts are bothering you, they may well change - the way mine looked during feeding DS2, straight after I gave up and a year down the line were all very different.

Have you done your boob measuring the MN intervention way?

I'm not commenting on your H as I agree with everyone else there.

Can you turn it back on him and ask why he has such unrealistic expectations and wilful misunderstanding of what support you need at this point, and suggest he seek counselling for this hangup of his?

For reference I'm the same height, was probably similar weight when I met MrNC 19 years ago, and his response when my breasts did the same as yours was to tell me I'd had the previous breasts for a decade so it was probably time for a pregnancy upgrade. And that's the thing with upgrades, you can't get back to the old version.

Hopefully he can STFU until you've at least finished breastfeeding and got some decent sleep.

I would be looking to lose 90 kilos of weight - Him!

Firstly I'd show him this thread. Then if you want to lose weight, which by the sounds of things you don't need to, tell him you're joining a gym and he will need to care for the children several nights a week whilst you go the gym.

I will def show him this thread again so he can see how stupid his comments are. He def has issues. I am a member of a gym that we can put our kids in crèche for two hours...so I can start working out now or just sit in cafe relax/eat. Or just have a nice shower! But I had to wait until my baby was 3 months until he allowed in crèche.

That's a great gym, a lot of them start crèche only at 6 months.

OP, is all well with your pelvic floor? You might want to check out this list before you pick your gym exercises:

pelvic floor

I am an inch shorter than you and 2 stone heavier, and I'm not fat. And my husband thinks I'm gorgeous. :-) We are at opposite ends of the BMI range for the height. You are possibly a little thin.

dieting never works. But you aren't fat anyway.

tell him to stop looking at porn/sick models/wherever he gets his crazy ideas from. Tell him straight that if he continues to insult you, he can leave. Marriage is support, respect and love. Can't see much of any of those.

i cant think of a loving partner who would say this. i would be not

Twat. I am enraged.

I bet he's the kind of man who wanted sex again within days of you giving birth too. Tell him to fuck the fuck off.

I am disgusted at yr DHs behaviour Im not a parent so dont usually use this board but i saw this thread come up in Active Convos last night.
Unfortunately though this shit is endemic in society now.
I have fairly big boobs and lost a lot of weight. At my slimming world class last week we were talking about this subject and a younger woman said to me....."you dont have to worry so much because you are married" Shes a lovely young woman but i feel so sad that its come to this. That what we look like and how we feel has to dependent on what men think of us. I dont like living in this time of celebrity culture and internet porn. i HATE it. Really HATE it I really feel like i was born too late Born at completely the wrong time.
Right now if i got offered a "Life on Mars" moment i think i would take it.
OP this should be a happy time for you. Yr H sounds very shallow. As well as emotionally abusive. He would get on well with my DM. And then men like this will then have the gall to turn around and say that its women who put pressure on each other.
Makes me and

LTB.
I bet you look absolutely beautiful. You carried a baby inside you and now your body tells that story. Your husband is being a monumental cunt. If you want to lose weight then I'm sure you will whenever and however you want to.
I'm so sorry OP. My baby was 11 months by the time I even started to lose the weight (I was about 3 stone up from pre pregnancy). I was so shellshocked by everything that I found it impossible to even think about weight loss. If my dh thought I needed to lose weight, he certainly never said anything- he only said lovely things about my new body to help me get comfortable in myself again after all the changes that come with having a baby.

Scrap what I just said about you losing weight- you clearly don't need to! You do need to lose the husband though.

He's an arse!