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Soft play area - Am I being a snob?

233 replies

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 15:22

My DS has just turned 3 yrs old and we've just got back from our local soft play area. Whilst there, I witnessed some problems and behaviours from other mums and their children. Whenever we go there I make sure I'm feeling energetic so I can go round with him to help him and just incase he needs me, maybe I'm too protective! There was a group of 6 mums and they just let their kids get on with it. One gave her little girl a fruit shoot which she then brought into the ball pit, I don't agree with food in there anyway and there are signs saying no food and drink inside the play area. The girl then squirted the fruit shoot in my face. I was polite and just said 'we don't do that as it's not nice, drinks are for drinking. Her mum witnessed this then came over and simply took the drink off her and said your not allowed drinks in there, no telling off for the squirting! Don't give it to her then!! The girl was then throwing balls in other children's faces and then mine. I said to her ' these are to play in, you can throw against the soft wall or other balls but not at each other as that's not nice' - The children were all running riot and then I decided to take my son to a quieter area. All the kids then followed me trying to hold my hand and talking to me. I didn't mind at all but the parents just sat there gossiping or engrossed on their phones and had no clue where the children were. It's like I was the paid entertainer!! So am I being snobby? Does this happen at your local soft play? If my son showed any behaviour that was unkind or inconsiderate to others, I'd tell him! I mentioned to my friend on the phone when I got home and she said 'The mums were having a break, get over it' - So I had to ask you mumsnetters? If I'm wrong and you say so, I'll go with it!

OP posts:
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CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 20:53

Mrscog, you really won't get an age from us lot! Some say 2, I'll probably say 12!! It surely depends on size of play space, ours is massive and I would not feel comfortable about leaving him yet, he'd wonder off and I'd probably find him next to the chip fryer!

OP posts:
floatyflo · 08/01/2014 20:54

Goofy Grin

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 20:54

Goofy, well I couldn't leave my son could I?

OP posts:

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GoofyIsACow · 08/01/2014 20:56
Grin
SaltySeaBird · 08/01/2014 21:02

Oh I'm an annoying Mum I guess as I go in the structure with my DD. She is only 16mo and can't do it all by herself but she gets bored in the little kids area.

Then again the Mums I'm friends with go into the structure / sit in the ballpit too.

When she is older she can do it by herself but I actually find it fun clambering round with her. I love all the smiles and laughter I get and it's a change from sitting at my desk.

mamacoffee · 08/01/2014 21:02

R

LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 21:05

I went to a huge one once there was no way I could have tailed him as it was a baby cage with four tiers, he ran in and I watched and a couple of 5 year olds started pulling him around by the hood of his teddy bear hoodie.

I could only watch and say OI then they said sorry we were just helping him,

Whatever!

I don't like big ones.

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 21:07

Probably trying to steal his cute teddy hoody!

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LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 21:08

It was tragic, like watching Winnie the Pooh getting beaten up.

mamacoffee · 08/01/2014 21:14

Phone went funny sorry!

I'll try again...

I can't believe the majority disagree with the OP. Anyway I think the OP is spot on regarding poor behavior of other kids when left unsupervised. You should only leave your child if you know they won't do something naughty like say squirt a drink in someone's face Confused

That is precisely why I don't go, because it's too Lord of the flies for me..a bunch of kids all setting their own rules.

I too need a break sometimes but I'm not going to go to softplay to get it!!

I guess from the way this thread is going I too will be flamed but I couldn't care less Grin

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 21:16

A few like you are agreeing with me, so thank you!

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princesspants · 08/01/2014 21:16

I only read the first page which was hilarious.

CJones1882 To be fair I was probably a tiny bit more like you with DC1 although I wouldn't crawl around with him in a soft play once he got to 2 at the most. I seen this opportunity as the one and only time he might actually play by himself.

I now have 3 DC's and I'd hate to think that other mums were judging me because I was actually having 5 mins peace and a seat.

My god, when I was a kid we played out in the street and we didn't have parents following us around. Even from 3 I could play out the front if my mum was at the window.

I feel sorry for kids now. They have no freedom. If we can't even go into a padded room without us crawling around and policing them what hope is there for their future as well rounded individuals!

Your son needs a little more freedom because before you know it he will be at school being exposed to more than a loose fruit shoot! He is learning already about different behaviors and how to deal with it.

If there is any chance you might have more than one it would do him good to learn to play without mum by his side even in soft play.

Yes, parents glued to phones everywhere they go. Id happily swipe it off them and drop it into their coffee but by god, we deserve a seat, a chat with another full sized human and hopefully then we could all get something out of the trip to the sticky padded room with screamers.

Nobody is going to pull a knife on him. Maybe he will come across Tyson who bops him one at the top of the chute or Chantelle eating starbursts in the ball pit but it is all life lessons for him.

Think about this. The last time I went to a softplay I had my 6 yr old, my 3 yr old and my 15 month old. Obviously I was with the 15 month old in the baby bit so my other two were off in the big area with no parent around at all for all anybody knew.

Maybe some other mum had been entertaining them - good! Serves her right for crawling into the soft play!

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 21:21

I didn't mind playing with them - My issue was not the mums sat down but there complete lack of interest or attention in the children. Yes I probably do need to let him toughen up a bit!

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LittleThorinOakenshield · 08/01/2014 21:23

Not supervising to the point your child is causing a problem - not ok

Sitting down, having a coffee and a breather and a coffee whilst keeping a watch - fine

That's me.

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 21:24

Perfect littlethorin, I'll let you in!

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Iloveonionchutney · 08/01/2014 21:33

I agree with you op, as I said earlier, my dd ended up with concussion from an unsupervised child, and a black eye previously, it's not a crèche, I'm as happy as the next to have a cuppa while she plays but I watch like a hawk, and if she's wandering towards another mum, I'd intervene x

Bluestocking · 08/01/2014 21:33

I will definitely stop crying if you do your ballpit juggling for me!
Actually, OP, I do know where you're coming from - soft play is well in my past now (thank goodness) but I used to hoist my judgypants up at the mums having a latte and a chatte while I indulged in some active ballpit-based Performance Parenting with my PFB!

ChippingInWadesIn · 08/01/2014 21:34

The two year old I took today is very independant thank you.

He make friends, has a blast and doesn't require me to be holding his hand the whole time. The interaction with other children is invaluable, it's the modern equivalent of 'playing in the street' - the kids make friends, determine how to 'take turns' or 'share' according to their rules and learn a lot of valuable skills.

It's open, you can see/hear any arguements/bullying/wailing.

You helicopter all you like - just don't be under any illusion that choosing to let them play in there by themselves is a less worthy choice than choosing to go in with them. It's not.

Worriedthistimearound · 08/01/2014 21:40

Haven't read the thread yet but will in a mo. When my boys were 1-2yrs I would have been in with them supervising but at 3, they were off on the big slides and jumping about crazy. They didn't want me nor did they need me at 3+. Isn't your 3yr old off on their own on the big stuff? I thought they all were by that age. By then I would plonk myself down with a coffee and newspaper or book.

ChippingInWadesIn · 08/01/2014 21:41

I will take certain peoples DC with me, but not others - some of them are far too naughty and not able to be trusted not to hurt another child. It's not worth the hassle - so I tog them up and we go to the park instead - much less stress.

Worriedthistimearound · 08/01/2014 21:41

But certainly no food or drink allowed anywhere but the table.

bordellosboheme · 08/01/2014 21:48

Its better not to helicopter IMHO

CJones1982 · 08/01/2014 21:56

I think my son is just young for his age so still needs me there whereas most 3 year olds wouldn't. His speech is developing everyday so I'm sure once he's more fluent it will give him more confidence. They are all very different.

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Worriedthistimearound · 08/01/2014 23:54

Maybe he is young for his age because you are so protective of him. I'm genuinely not having a go, just saying that sometimes your anxieties can make them nervous. By 3yrs, my ds2 had probably been to A&E around 6times for split head, stitches etc. He was more confident than his brother but he was running off and climbing trees by 3. I think their own natures dictate a little to us how they should be treated but maybe birth order too. Ds1 wasn't really talking until he was 2yrs whereas ds2 was talking in sentences at 16mths and shouting 'I want to go faster and higher'. But then the previously mentioned regular A&E trips probably shows you what happens when you go along with their nature! Grin

roundtable · 09/01/2014 09:56

I was actually going to say how verbal is you child op? I think that makes a massive difference.

My ds really struggles with his speech at the moment so gets easily frustrated and can't tell me what's happened.

I think the more verbal they are, the higher the independence.