Gardening in the winter sun. 40-something mums Christmas thread

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40-something mums with babies of all ages - please join us. The 20-something and 30-something mums will never satisfy you like this thread.

I couldn't face watching the telly, sadly! We recorded GBSB though so I'll watch it later. But I went to bed early with a really strong painkiller and slept reeallly well... And DS woke up at 6.15 when his gro clock wasn't on yet shouting MILK ALL GONE. DADDY DADDY (Daddy was still home but getting ready to go and catch his train). And I told him "no more milk, sleepy time, no sun" and he went back to bed and didn't make any more noise! (Though I didn't get back to sleep but did get another half hour in a warm bed).

I find that a hot shower or a bowl of steaming water helps a bit with sinusitis.

Mustn't forget World Book Day tomorrow, I have knitted DS a Tigger tail (the rest of the costume is from Clare's Accessories or Ebay).

I come in a bit early on a Weds and have my breakfast in peace while DS has his at nursery - I'm now at my desk but I didn't put on any makeup before I left the house this morning, I just can't be bothered to walk to the Ladies to put it on and nobody can see me so I'm wondering how long I am going to leave it!

Oh poorly Mums, hope migraine and other pains will leave you all alone soon.
It has been a bit mad this first part of the week, but glad MIL is here, she can help me much more than DH as she can do school runs and entertain one kid or both while I deal with other stuff in the house.
The coincidence of haircut is very funny, I did not know about the Chinese tradition but I have learnt something new today !
A has very hard poo too lately, I wonder if it is linked to formula milk ? I have managed to catch one in the potty ! Coincidence again.
DS is very excited about World Book Day and his costume. I went for simplicity, made a tail tied with an elastic belt, a fox mask, he cut a gingerbread man on paper and coloured it in for me to sew on the back of his jumper, he will wear brown ish clothes with a white top and if weather is cold white gloves and socks... Voila
Feel like going back to bed this morning....

Ooh bbd Ning Ning Ning! (What does the fox say etc). Sounds great xxx

OK, so how do I add a photo of DS's Tigger tail?

so ... any tips on how to encourage stubborn 1.5 yo dd to clean her teeth? She clams mouth shut after a couple of quick brushes - doesn't respond to me cleaning my teeth, mirroring my wide open mouth, watching and rewatching tombliboos cleaning teeth, false-cheerfully singing 'this is the way we clean out teeth' etc etc. She can't really do it herself yet - just chews brush a bit. I don't think its the toothpaste - we have two kinds. It's been going on for weeks now, and I'm worried her teeny hard-won teeth are going to be a mess... she doesn't have sugar at home, but nursery is less strict.

no sign of giving up bf here after all - but thinking about it has made me realise how lovely the morning feed is, cuddled up in bed, playing games with our eyebrows . Night time one is a bit of a hassle though, as I'm counting down the minutes until I can shoot out the room and have dinner / tidy chaos / slump on sofa.

I put up owl-in-tree wall stickers yesterday in her room - she loves them, the owls are amusingly grumpy looking.

Seaside, :) try reverse psychology, don't let her brush her teeth while you do it with lots of pleasure ! It worked with DS...
DrSpouse, I have seen this attach photo but looks like on some specific topic only, can't help you on this one, sorry
Hope everyone is fine

Hi seaside I'm struggling with teeth brushing too rosebud now has 7 yes 7 teeth! It seems like she's got a new one every few days. She hates having them brushed. Atm I'm using a finger brush, dentanox and an old favourite parenting strap line of ' this is non negotiable'!! Rosebud has other ideas quite often. Oh I'm also trying at different times of day As bedtime is the biggest battle. I feel so responsible for them :(

Feeling slightly better here
Antibiotics are working and dh has stepped up a bit with dd, he washed and dressed her on his own today ( while i sat on my demons! ) ) The sun being out helps too. We've been in the garden all day and grilled (bbq) dinner.
Lots more planting done and potato bed dug over. :) I'm really looking forward to having home grown veg this summer :)
Hope everyone is enjoyjng the sunshine. Xx

This is getting silly! ! Just checked teeth again and there is another one! ! So now 8 teeth.... is this normal? ? (Can't do much about it i suppose! )

seaside We have tried various tactics with dd. Worked at diff times:

• brush them as a favourite character
• hold brush with a chosen toy as the "toy" brushes them
• bribery with 10m tv or stories etc
• dh does "tickle teeth" : basically pin down and force brush in but tickle her to open mouth so is less brute force and more a game
• counting so they know will.come to an end in recognisable time, then increase number AMD slow the count
• get her to brush and we "finish" them off
• force brush in, hold arms down and explain we can do it gently if she cooperates
• let dd go.to shop and choose character toothbrush

I share your frustration!!!
good.luck.xx

excellent teeth tips all - thanks I will try them! I have to respect how determined she is about it though ... Ok, so ditto question re reluctant hair washing? A common one, I know. the shampoo is a natural non-irritant one, so it isn't that - I think it's just the rinsing and having water on her head. I have one of those eye protector hats, but she is scared of that. Also scared of the shower, although I'm working on that one. Won't lie in bath. Any ideas? She is too little to be able to help wash it herself in any meaningful way, and gets beside herself sobbing. I used to wash it rarely, but now she is at nursery, her hair is always full of glitter / glue / hummus or something.
Right. Baby asleep. Teeth 'non-negotiably' kind of brushed. (bought) fish pie in oven, (going to have with samphire mmmm) Time for a glass of cold white wine and tv, I think. No-one is here to judge me for not doing something more useful - and quite frankly I'm knackered.
Weekend plans fell though but It's been a lovely weekend just me and dd. I find it sooo tiring to be on duty 24/7 with no-one to give me a break, still lovely, though. We saw lambs today and did lots of duplo and playing with spoons :-)
How was everyone else's weekend?

Do you use shampoo or baby bath, and do you use a flannel, we have battles over teeth but not hair, and he doesn't like the shower either. For hair I just wipe with a really wet flannel that's been dipped in the bath water that has baby bath in it. No running water and no need to rinse.

evening - slumped feebly on sofa wondering where the weekend went to... Had the dreaded call from nursery on Friday to say DD had a v high temp and would need to be collected immediately. Took her straight to GP to rule out anything sinister then took her home, by which time the Calpol was taking effect. All weekend she's had fluctuating temps, and is just full of the cold. She's been drinking tons and tons and mostly off her food (most food gets spat out or thrown overboard from the highchair).

Big dilemma about whether to chance nursery tomorrow - she is better this eve (and was pulling things out of the kitchen cupboards til 9pm). I've only got just over a month's worth of work remaining and every day I'm earning really counts.

Great to hear from you Seaside and glad you are surviving but imagine it's so, so hard dealing with everything on your own. No useful advice from me re teeth as DD still reasonably agreeable but think we will start getting less co-operation soon.

And talking of teeth, DD still only has 4!!! Just 4!!! Where on earth are they? Well, there's possibly a 5th one towards the back of her mouth, but nothing else has appeared for months now.

Oh cripes, that's her awake again already... better dash. Hope everyone had a lovely weekend

Seaside, it's tough on your own but has it's own rewards. Are you getting any baby free ' you time' at all? I was on my own with both dds (1&2) bar about 1.5 years when dd1 was 1 until dd2 was about 6 months. The rest i did alone. Nether of their fathers bothered with access (dd1 did not meet her dad till she was 15) i loved it though. I was very strict about some things from a very young agewwith them. Bed time being a big one. Dd2 tells stories of a purple monster that lived in the basement and would eat them if they came down unnecessarily i have no memory of it but she swears it kept her in her room of an evening. She did co sleep till quite old though (way beyond any normal as i was on my own there was no need to move her out. Both girls talk very fondly of growing up and do say that i empowered them with the belief that they could do most things without the need for a man.
Dd2 was also a hair wash refuser. Her hair was kept short and as drspouse does was washed just with a flannel and never brushed
My top tips would be pick your battles carefully and set non negotiationabls early ( boundaries) say yes whenever possible and have loads of fun. Solo parenting can be a selfish pleasure. I used to think of the girls as my favourite hobby.
Is ex around at all?

Eagle wow only 1 month left! That has flown by! You'll be rejoining scarf club coffee morning this summer :) if you don't work tomorrow we could possibly sort something pm??

I love tickle teeth :)

Afm.. We went and got rosebud a swing for the garden. :) dh is obsessed with swings! !! I think as a child he loved them and going to the swings was a huge treat so to have one at home makes him feel thankfully dd loved it and was squealing with laughter. A lovely afternoon.
It was the jazz festival this weekend and my cousin was playing. We went for a big family dinner at the home of one of his friends (she's a gp and lives in the very posh bit of the city) it was lovely but my insecurities around my lifestyle choices were troublesome and I found it really difficult to sustain a conversation, or said things i didn't really mean, felt quite awkward at times as did dh i think as he kept asking for dd. (Baby shield) a shame as they are all very lovely people :(

Happy Monday everyone. :)
I've just hung out the washing in the garden while rosebud giggled in her swing. Now feeding and eating cake. With my feet up. :)

Hello all! Long time no post....! Hello drspouse, I was on this thread a while back. A little about myself, am 41, have a DD who is 4 and DS who is nearly 1.

seaside lovely to see your update too. Top tip for washing hair - dampen a flannel, fold it so DC holds it over their eyes, then look towards ceiling. No water should get in eyes apart from the damp flannel. As for brushing teeth, agree with scarecrow suggestions - getting DD to choose a new toothbrush worked a treat, as did pretending to brush bears/dolls teeth first.

Think lone parenting 24/7 must be exhausting. Have you any friends/family to give you a bit of you time to look forward to?

As for me, returned to work late last week. Not missed it all, and there's an unpleasant atmosphere there with voluntary severances and people handing in their notice left right and centre. For now, I'm keeping my head down but have plans to move on as soon as DD starts school later this year.

There must be a flurry of 1st birthdays coming up? Baby scarecrow and baby somewhere - early April? Baby KK is in next couple of weeks. Where has that year gone? And just to think this time last year we were all wondering on the pregnancy thread who would be the first!

Knicky, hang in there, good luck, you will find a job you like, take your time.
Rosie, lovely swing stories, hope you had relaxing time in the garden today.
Eagle, how is the house ? Is baby Eaglet fully recovered ? Has she left 1 single cupboard not explored ?
Seaside, single parenting is exhausting I can imagine, DD sounds very settled and easy going, sending hugs, hope you get a little well deserved me time. I found that routine works well for me and kids and helps a lot actually. It starts from the moment I pick up DS from school, nothing rigid but they know the sequence, back from school, milk for A while DS reads his reading school book, free play while I prepare/warm up dinner, 5.30/5.45 dinner, 6.15/6.30 bath, 6.45/7 bedtime story, 7.30 max kiss DS good night, A for last feed, I am free from 7.30/8 until DH comes back approx 9pm.
Reading hair washing technics make feel feel bad, I must have been tough with both DCs, they have never really complained though, if they are cooperative and look up, they don't get water in eyes and nose, if not well it is the shower hose straight on their heads... Bad Mum...
AFM it has been the second week end this month that we have birthday parties on Sat and Sun from DS's schoolmates. Exhausting. I feel I have not seen A as I always leave her at home either with MIL last week end or DH this week end. Next week end and the following, we have parties on Sun, then Easter break and then first 2 week ends of May are again booked for parties.... I'm slowly getting an overdose tbh. I have to talk to DS, the problem is at school the kids among them all talk about whose party is coming up etc I feel bad if I don't take him.
Enjoy this lovely dry weather Ladies !

Hooray, I can now show you Tigger's tail!

Nice tail DrSpouse

dr spouse that's very sweet!

Thanks for all hair-washing help too - I've been trying to wash it properly every 3 days or so as she developed cradlecap out of nowhere a couple of months ago - I thought it was a newborn thing, but heyho. I'm using coconut oil after, and if I don't wash her hair properly it smells like old oil, rather than her lovely head smell :-( bbd don't feel bad - you are an efficient hair washer! I've spent too much time doing anything to avoid battles, I think.

'me time'? haha - well I guess I have work, and I had some time off with flu, does that count?? Thank goodness she is a funny cheerful little girl - I see some of the fretful little ones in her nursery and think it would be so much harder to manage with a miserable, grumpy toddler (although that may come of course ...) I'm very lucky really. Rosie I loved what you said about your children being your favourite hobby - that is how it feels. There's nothing like the buzz of making them laugh, is there? We discovered the hilarity that is bumping down the stairs on your bottom tonight - who'd have thought it?

knicky - your work sounds stressful - hope you can get through it

Too tired to even think about dinner tonight - It's going to be a big bowl of shreddies, an orange and vit tablets. Does anyone else's heart sink when you realise you have used your last ounce of energy, and you've forgotten there is a load of wet washing in the machine that needs hanging up ...

Eagle is dd better?

Rosie, here are my pic of the fox.
DrSpouse, my tail wasn't as cute as yours. I am such a beginner !!!

Seaside, you are super Mum.

Oh dear, I've hurt my back - this has happened a couple of times since we've had DS, basically just through lugging a heavy toddler/baby around.

I've done some exercises and I'm sitting with a warm rice bag on it but I suspect I'll be taking a strong painkiller before bed.

Yep DrSpouse, remember to always bend your legs as if going on your knees and contract your abs... Hope the painkiller works.
How are the babies tonight ?

seaside yes, yes, yes to wet washing on zero.energy. often when I've mentally let go and started to.go.to bed.

sentences that mean the opposite of what hey say, #87:

My childminder rings: "I thought you'd like to know...."

What did.I actually probably not want to heat? DD was playing mummies.and daddies with the CM's 22yo son (nope, this is okay) and said to him "Get your jammies on, we're going to the pub"

There is actually a good explanation for this (honest) but I won't try

T has tonsilitus poor lamb.