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Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. Come and join the 40+ mums plus babies, toddlers etc in the snug where tea, cake and sympathy are being served.

999 replies

somewherebecomingrain · 02/10/2013 06:57

We are 40+ mummies sharing all the highs and lows of our autumn crocus babies. Also sharing tips and information (most crying is tiredness!) and jokes. Please join us!

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

PS this thread title was created by eagleray, and she also found the quotes.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
somewherebecomingrain · 20/11/2013 09:16

GrinThanksRosebud! Phblerrrrr!

OP posts:
blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 09:37

Rosie, love that, make sure you make a video! Somewhere, love you post too. They both made me smile on this frey morning

blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 09:38

Grey morning

Interested in this thread?

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Avalon13 · 20/11/2013 11:28

Good morning ladies!! Hello to you all and thank you all for your responses. I feel a little less crazy now. Having another crying day though. I've got to go into work later for a risk assessment and I know I'm going to blub when I'm asked how I am. Had to tell them early because I work as part time as Beauty Therapist using aromatherapy oils. Once I told my boss she notified HR, so it's on my file as well! Of course they have to cover themselves! I do understand but what about me? They've already sent me info about maternity leave....which made me cry and made me really angry. I'm also studying my level 3 in Beauty Therapy so I've had to tell college as well because of the aromatherapy oils.

It really helps to hear your stories. I'm glad that I'm not abnormally paranoid and tense. My best friend is understanding but she had her little boy when she was 26/27 when the risks are much lower. It was very straight forward for her and low risk, even though I'm sure she worried too. She tells me off cos I'm still taking pregnancy tests. Sad But I don't have any symptoms so what else am I going to do? I've even wondered if I'm not pregnant at all and maybe I have some sort of tumour that's producing hcg. On the plus side my last test was a lot darker so my hcg levels are rising! Yay! That plus point stopped me worrying for about 5 seconds and then I was back to crazy.

Do any of you have opinions on private early viability scans? I'm not seeing my doctor for 2 weeks and I'm not sure how long after that I'll get a hospital appointment. I'm worried they'll make me wait because the higher miscarriage risk.

Sorry to hear we have sick Mums and babies at the mo. Hope you're all better soon.

Avalon x

rosiedays · 20/11/2013 12:42

avalon I'd definitely say go for the scan asap. How sure are you of your dates? The heart beat is not always detectable early (someone will remember when) but you can see something is there
Fist scan Made it very real for me. :)
The onset of Symptoms vary so much. At 6 it had none. Enjoy not having them for as long as possible. The tearfulness is a sure sign your hormones are going crazy :).
We're all here to hold your hand on your journey to an elite club of 'geriatric' mums. [Grin]

rosiedays · 20/11/2013 12:43

6 weeks !!

rosiedays · 20/11/2013 12:50

Oh and re work, could hr and your manager be trying to be helpful and proactive in giving you maternity leave stuff now? Just a thought (as a manager something i could have done :) )
Everyone knowing exactly what is safe for you and baby is great. They have a responsibility to protect you.
Hope the meeting went well.

blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 12:59

Avalon, I had 2 very different pgs. 37 yo and First pg after 2 mc, I did not relax until I had the 1st scan, quite late at 16weeks. 2nd one, I was relaxed until 2nd scan at 22weeks when they found that baby had short long bones and referred me to other scans, at that point I went for Amniocentesis with knots in my stomach, fear of mc of a healthy baby and fear of having to make decision if baby was diagnosed... But apart from these worries that existed in my head only, pgs were straight forward, a bit of morning sickness, metallic taste in the mouth throughout the 9months but it didn't forbid me from eating and putting on approx. 16kgs at each pg ! Tried to remain serene and optimistic as much as possible, had great support on this thread, cried about everything. Loved the feeling of carrying life, scared, no, terrified about lifelong responsibility of another human being, loved feeling baby move inside, hated the birth itself... Eventually, both kids arrived at 39wk+3, healthy, beautiful. And now very happy with a 5yo and a 16mo, although some days, would like to have old life back for 30 min.
Have also discovered how much love I am capable of. Never thought this level of love existed. And it is growing by the day. I might end up giving too much, if that is possible !

Re viability, I guess it really depends on the hospital, I was better looked after with my 2nd pg at 41 than the 1st one, due to my age. I had a scan at 8 weeks but tbh, it is disappointing to have it too early, you can see heartbeat, nothing more than that. More frequent MW appointments after 12wk scan so even if I could not see baby everytime, I could hear heart beat and that was reassuring enough.

Someone told me on this thread to enjoy each day, today you are pg and that is the most important. Don't let the future and the worrying thoughts take away this moment. Pg won't last forever.

Avalon13 · 20/11/2013 19:06

Hi rosiedays, I'm pretty sure on my dates. My cycle never varies much. Sorry I didn't answer your question about the tummy rubbing earlier. Not been rubbing it but I do talk to it. Smile

Yay for 6 weeks!! Not sure why but 6 weeks feels very important. Think my next countdown will be to my Drs appt. Unless I decide to book a scan privately.

Maybe you're right about my manager. I think I was a little naive, I was thinking of making sure I was safe regarding the products and thought it would stay between the 2 of us. She didn't explain that she had to deal with it according to company policy. The next day the Duty Manager told me she knew and the maternity pack arrived in the post a few days later. I set a ball rolling that I hadn't intended to.

The meeting was ok. I have to notify them in writing about my pregnancy and I had to sign a form which listed potential risks. Nothing much in it really applies at this stage but I suppose it's one less job to do later. Smile Apart from the letter but I'm going to hang on as long as possible before I write that, even if it's until after I've seen the doc.

blueblackdye, so glad it worked out for you. What you said about your love growing is so beautiful. Can you ever give too much love? I don't think you can. Smile

I actually feel much calmer today and more positive. Not sure whether it's because I'm having a chance to speak to people it has worked out for or it's the 6 week mark, most likely both. I read on the internet that your chance of loss is less at 6-8 weeks than it was at 4-6 weeks. It feels like a minor victory and hopefully all my minor victories will add up to a huge blessing. Actually, I know chatting on here is helping me a lot, I don't feel alone anymore thanks to all of you. Smile

somewherebecomingrain · 20/11/2013 19:27

avalon that's great. Pg is the hardest bit IMO but not everyone finds it hard and you might not. If you do we have heard every pg misery under the sun here. We have let rip.

There are real advantages to people knowing - the convention is 12 weeks or so but I found that hard. if you had to tell work cause of the safety angle then it was out of your hands. And people will understand what you are going through.

OP posts:
rosiedays · 20/11/2013 21:29

I love my bed :) sprinkling sleeping dust. Xx

MrsDeVere · 20/11/2013 21:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 21:54

Another afternoon with no raised voice ! DS is getting there. Thanks knotty for your book.
A has been brilliant too, giving lots of licking, that is her way of kissing ! Waving and blowing kisses to say good bye. She had 2 naps at nursery and ate well too. Only issue is still very sore bottom although she is being changed every 2 hours. Tomorrow will be a nappy free day... Rosie, I envy the not mobile baby at this stage, I won't be able to keep her still on a terry and fleece even for 5 minutes.

Goat, cycle, how was your meet up ? Have the boys behaved ?
Scarecrow, is everything ok even if you could not make it to meet up with Goat and Cycle ?
Cycle, has the washing machine been fixed now ?
Eagle, how is baby Eaglet today ?
Somewhere, hello !
Avalon, glad you feel calmer today, Rosie is right, crying is the proof your hormones are all over the place, good sign of pg ! 6 weeks today, yeah ! 2 weeks to see GP, it will pass in the blink of an eye. Don't worry.

Off to bed, good night babies and Mums

blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 21:57

LRM, yeah to Xmas theme to the snug. Lots of snow but no wind please. Could Midget find a recipe of Stollen with marzipan ? I will bring in Xmas tea.

blueblackdye · 20/11/2013 22:05

MrsDeVere, 5 DCs, hat off, my lady ! You found us ! Welcome and please do hang around. I will probably need to hear your experience.

MrsDeVere · 20/11/2013 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 01:43

touching wood, Tintin seems considerably improved on last night (except the waking up bit) but has managed his first little snores. Cute at 7mo in a way it never will be after 15yo.

bbd I'm okay thanks. Had two prior engagements yesterday and decided with his cold going into central London and then Ealing too would be too much for small chap. Thank you for asking Thanks

Going to work later today to discuss new role when I go back next year. Seems a bit real Confused

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 01:46

MrsDeVere I bow to give dcs. How wonderful and exhausting! Welcome and look forward to hearing more about you and yours. I'm 43 and had dd (3 next mo) at 40 and ds (7mo) in April.

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 01:47

five dcs

EagleRay · 21/11/2013 02:54

Quick hello - Ive succumbed to DD's virus - woke last night with fever and sore throat. Spent yesterday in bed feeling just awful trying to look after DD til DP got home. He's got v upset stomach so is staying home tomorrow thank goodness. We're all awake at the mo - DD cold and hungry, me sore throat and ears and DP on loo.

Oh and DD did massive projectile vom in my bed yesterday afternoon - new low point as felt too ill to get up! She covered both of us plus sheet, pillows and duvet - urgh

Waves feebly to all

blueblackdye · 21/11/2013 07:51

Eagle, hope you all recover soon. Making you tea.

cyclecamper · 21/11/2013 09:15

Eagle poor you! Hope you all got some sleep eventually and feel better soon.

MrsDeVere Hello and welcome. Please stick around, all input welcome!

Still no washing machine. The man is supposed to be coming between 10 and 12 today. Fingers crossed. I hope he can actually fix it - big lad and his girlfriend kindly brought their laundry down for the first time in a week and a half: aaaaagggggghhhhh! Although thanks to my sister's efforts and 10kg load machine, our pile and the nappy pile is under control at least.

somewherebecomingrain · 21/11/2013 10:44

mrsdevere stick around! We have older kids too not all babies. Mine is 4 and has just started school.

I like your style 'most miserable preg woman on the planet'. I feel I could compete with that!

Xx

OP posts:
scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 10:58

bleurgh standing on station platform for train to work - only lunch today but seems a bit real now. I thought it would be easier going back after 2nd but I realise I'm now going.to do double the missing Sad

Strange being here as is station near cm so haven't been here since I stood here every morning reading our pg posts and posting the latest update on how sick u felt! Weird to go back into that head space.

dear goodness I don't want to leave my children

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 10:59

how sick I* (and you all) felt. Never u