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Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. Come and join the 40+ mums plus babies, toddlers etc in the snug where tea, cake and sympathy are being served.

999 replies

somewherebecomingrain · 02/10/2013 06:57

We are 40+ mummies sharing all the highs and lows of our autumn crocus babies. Also sharing tips and information (most crying is tiredness!) and jokes. Please join us!

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

PS this thread title was created by eagleray, and she also found the quotes.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 11:00

Joy, my train is delayed. It's all coming back to me...

somewherebecomingrain · 21/11/2013 11:01

eagle that sounds awful. I'm so sorry. hope dp is looking after you?

Thanks so much for your super sling advice. You have been such a help. I am gonna visit the sling library near me.

cycle no washing machine/dishwasher is like the whole house has gone kaput - everything grinds to a halt or it feels that way. It will be so lovely when it's working again. My sympathies.

Sorry if I've missed people or major reports just can't keep up.

Xxx

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somewherebecomingrain · 21/11/2013 11:05

Oh scare ! ((())). It's a tough balance. When you leave them it feels like an earthquake iirc. Almost like giving birth, something being pulled out of you. Luckily this is normal and necessary.

Somelet has fallen asleep on my lap with no boob or rocking. Take that the anti attachment brigade, no matter that its 1 in 100 times!

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cyclecamper · 21/11/2013 11:05

Scarecrow Sympathies. It must be hard Sad

The washing machine is allegedly fixed, although he put some silicon sealant in so I can't test it for 5 hours. Fingers still crossed!

Baby C actually slept in his carrycot for 30 mins earlier! This may be a record for non-moving sleep during the day Grin. Must have been the excitement of meeting BG yesterday!

rosiedays · 21/11/2013 11:07

Hi ladies :) how is everyone today
Eagle hop you're all feeling a bit better today.
Cycle the washing machine breaking down is something I dread. It would drive me crazy.
Scarecrows hope your work meeting goes well and you get something that will work for you (on all levels)
Bbd your ds sounds adorable as ever. I have 2 friends with boys of a similar age and they are not nearly as well behaved ( due to lack of constant boundaries and No not meaning No in my book)

rosiedays · 21/11/2013 11:22

Just realised i missed loads of posts! !!
Scarecrow, I've been doing a lot of remembering back lately it's very strange to think of a time before rosebud.

Hi mrsdevere, i have older children and 2 grandchildren! !! Rosebud was a big surprise at 43.

Avalon how are you today? Do you work in a hotel spa? (I have a hotel background and some of what you have said rings bells re hr and duty managers. )

rosiedays · 21/11/2013 13:56

I'm bored. Don't know what to do with myself. .. rosebud having a sleepy day, house work and admin up to date.
Mmmmm

blueblackdye · 21/11/2013 14:37

Rosie, I'd love to be able to sip a coffee and watching grass grow! Take lots of pics of Rosebud sleeping. Have a long hot bath. Read a book or treat yoirself with ahomemade manicure and pedicure. Call friends for a chat..... I am off with A to pick up DS, there are black clouds above my head, lots of laundry awaiting as A had a nappy free morning ! Oh I hate nursing bra, I am really fed up with them now. How do I wean from the breast when she refuses the bottle ?

MrsDeVere · 21/11/2013 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

somewherebecomingrain · 21/11/2013 17:08

Hi mrsdevere that's so sad about your daughter. I'm really sorry.

I have some angst to share. School gates angst. Ds went on play date with a little boy in his class - let's call him x. It was my suggestion. Mrs x his mum bit my hand off and they followed us to the park there and then, the boys played joyously and before I knew it mrs x had got my phone number from the class contact list and was arranging date that week.

The play date went well - the two kids played nicely and seemed to have a rare old time. Mrs x's house is huge and she has every toy under the sun but I expected that with this school. She did say 'I'm very down to earth some if my friends have really small flats'.

She also told me all about her dysfunctional family and her mothers personality disorder and her money-focused sisters who envy her wealth and how she lived on her own from the age of 15. Which I thought v admirable. She even went so far as to talk about her Pnd and possibly bipolar during pregnancy. Which I thought a little strange on a first play date. But I duly shared some of my shit with her.

Her older son came home and was very moody and clearly envious of x having a friend over. The two boys are v close in age just one school year apart so I would expect intense rivalries. Older bro had lots of intense quick cry-y breakdowns esp about his Lego which mrs x admitted she should put on a shelf as he cared so much.

I was a bit exhausted at the end of it but thought it was all good the stuff if life. When is a play date not exhausting?

I said come to ours next time mentioning rhat i had a large flat and she was evasive - seemed to think it was better I came to her.

Anyway as discussed on here I am careful to give a bit of space at the school gates after connecting strongly. Friendly-stand back- friendly rhythm. So I said hi to her after but didn't go in for a big chat.

By the time I was ready to chat - and I understand her rhythm might be different - she was behaving v oddly. Basically fuck off vibes. I saw her outside a cafe and she looked devastated to see me and said she wasn't doing any more play dates unless both had a friend as her older son was so upset.

Which I took at face value but then today she went for one with another boy in the class right in front of me. I heard that it would all be while the older boy was at footie so he wouldn't know. So sort of made sense but why is she blocking a similar arrangement with my son?

Would add We had a FAB play date with another kid which will be reciprocated in the normal way so it's not that I smell.

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GoatBongoAnonymous · 21/11/2013 17:38

Greetings MrsDeVere! Lovely to have you join us. That is really sad about your daughter, and I still think you are superwoman, even if you only have three left at home!
Avalon, how are you doing? We are a great bunch of statistics, so do hang out here as much as you like (and help us on our hurtling towards next thread! So much going on now!). I think I cried nonstop for the first trimester (have to say my FIL didn't help on that one Hmm ) but serenity landed at some point! only to depart again in the face of sleep deprivation
I haven't intro'd myself to newbies, I had BG at 42 - he is my first. Should have been 43, but my pregnant person apparently decided to get really ill at 31 weeks and out he came 9 weeks early. He was an independent soul from the start, used to shuffle his way down the incubator out of the nest they make for the babies, and kick his feet against the glass. While all the other prems lay there nicely as prems should. Only spent a month in hospital, came home and has been honing his am dram skills ever since.
Somewhere, do you think its a case of her suddenly being scared that she shared too much too early?

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 18:58

I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter, MrsDeVere: nobody, especially somebody with a child, could not send out a little of their heart to you and your family. Like goat though I am still full of admiration, firstly for having 3 at home, secondly for having raised such a lively sounding ds1 Smile

Work meeting today was extremely good, so could lead to a very positive outcome, including interesting role developing New skills, early hours to see dc before bed (the sort of early starts that.once looked like slow torture and now seem utterly reasonable Hmm ) and even home working. Am trying not to get my hopes up too high. I have to say if it works out I might have the most accommodating employers ever as they have already supported me through lots of changes, though I guess I have put in ten years of a lot of long hours and angst! Anyway, forgive the slight crowing - it's not meant that way, I'm just relieved and incredibly grateful for good fortune.

cm did a fantastic job with Tintin and both kids shattered by time I picked up at 4, so house was quiet by 6.45pm. New record though I might well pay for it at 5amConfused

I.might even treat myself to Wine

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 18:59

lovely* sounding ds1...though he might also be lively

Avalon13 · 21/11/2013 20:18

MrsDeVere, hello, it's lovely to have you here. Sorry to hear about your loss.

somewherebecomingrain it is a good thing they know. I've been having a lot of irrational thoughts lately and one of them was people might think I was making up being pg. My brain said that if something happens and I don't produce a baby they will all think I lied. I doubt anyone would ever think that but my brain really went into crazy mode. Confused

What will you do about play date lady? I'm not sure what the convention is but would it be acceptable to give her a wedgie at the school gates?

EagleRay, hope you feel better soon.

rosiedays I do work in a hotel spa. Smile I've had a fun day, I've sworn at my Dad, wanted to poke a friend in the eye for texting me, I've cried in college, considered quitting college and watched squirrels playing in the leaves. All of that was before lunch. Things were a bit more normal after that. I've also had a splitting headache all day which I'm refusing to take anything for because I'm plain stubborn.

How are you? Find any fun ways to pass some time?

scarecrow22 glad your meeting went well. Smile

bluebackdye I'm hoping it will pass quickly. I'm working on the theory that the human brain can only obsess so much before it either a) implodes b) gives the hell up to prevent it imploding. Smile

Avalon13 · 21/11/2013 20:33

GoatBongoAnonymous Thank you for your welcome. It's lovely to have some reassurance. I don't feel pg, I'm not actually sure I believe I am yet...even though 11 tests say I am, so it's feels strange to be so emotional. Keep hoping to get a boost in the bra but the B cup remains and I'm either ready to kill or I'm crying. Confused

scarecrow22 · 21/11/2013 20:33

Avalon lol at wedgie. Stubborn and irreverent and a little bit bonkers: you have found your natural home on this thread Smile (As a big time headache in pg sufferer I will say though that the occasional paracetamol really should not be a problem; it's about small pc risks and they are v small) Either way, hope that at least passes soon. (I also had acupuncture once for persistent migraine type headaches and worked brilliantly for up.to six months, but not sure if that ok in pg).

some horrible dilemma. No experience but already dread school.gate politics. She might be best avoided if she is that odd. Stick to your friendly but not ott routine and you can't be accused of anything. Her loss.

GoatBongoAnonymous · 21/11/2013 21:05

Avalon, when you sail majestically out the front door dressed in snazzy boots, winter coat... and towel still wrapped around your wet hair, you'll know the pregger brain has really hit!! (Not from personal experience, oh no...) and like scarecrow, Grin at wedgie. G'wan, sbr, you know you want to!
Scarecrow, fingers crossed and thumbs pressed! Sounds great, and much more positive for you after your platform wobble. Smile
Rosie, bored sounds loooovely!
Oh at cycle, how's that washing machine? Behaving itself?

blueblackdye · 21/11/2013 21:09

MrsDeVere, I can't imagine the pain so I won't say anything further but I will always have a special thought for you in my prayers (I find going to church when there is no mass is so peaceful! ). I too think you are superwoman.
Scarecrow, this is brilliant. Keeping everything crossed for you. Let us know if you have the 5am start !
Somewhere, I think this woman is weird. I would not waste my time trying to understand. Your DS has other friends to have playdates with.

rosiedays · 21/11/2013 21:09

Some lucky escape on your part was my first thought. ... she sounds weird!!!!
Scarecrow Flowers fx it all comes good.
Rosebuds sleepy day has turned into a not so sleepy night! Back later

cyclecamper · 21/11/2013 22:14

\yay/ ! Washing machine is working! Grin It's on it's third load already. Who'd think that I would be so happy about it, when it means I'm back to 2 or so washes a day and trying to get everything dry with not enough space! Still better than spending another Saturday and £30 in the laundrette and clothes still being dirty. Laundrette machines are rubbish for baby stuff. I don't have enough clothes in super fat size to do laundry that infrequently, either.

Scarecrow that sounds positive, fingers crossed for it turning out the way you want it.

Somewhere play date lady sounds a nightmare. Probably best to keep politely clear.

blueblackdye · 21/11/2013 23:17

Sounds like A has a cold, I can hear her coughing, screaming a bit but not waking up. It is going to be a difficult night. Xxxx

EagleRay · 21/11/2013 23:31

Evening all - am nearly back in the land of the living, after a horrible few days. Just been able to get up and have a shower, which felt great. Previously felt too dizzy and the pain in my throat was all-consuming. Still reeling slightly from the vom-in-the-bed incident - it was like a hose! I think I actually screamed at the horror of it all. Wasn't sure what to do, then picked DD up and sat her in the (empty) bath, dripping with sick while I stripped the bed and myself, then wept. Those 4 vomits she had this week accounted for 2 whole loads of washing!

That's fab news re your washing machine Cyclecamper you must be so pleased to have it back. Talking of drying space, have you heard about fabulous heated clothes airer that Lakeland are selling? Been trying to buy one for a couple of weeks - if I manage to get it I will let you know what it's like!

Hello and welcome MrsDeVere. I'm so sorry about your beautiful DD - that is truly heartbreaking. Btw, I'm 42 and had DD at the beginning of the year.

Somewhere playdate lady sounds bizarre. I'm with the wedgie suggestion! And I'm really dreading the school gate stuff too. In fact, it makes me want to leave the country and raise DD somewhere where school gates and playdates don't exist!

Scarecrow v pleased to hear the work meeting went well. Really hope those years of giving your all bear some fruit for you regarding flexibility. Hope you are enjoying your Wine

BBD I'm with you re the nursing bras - sick to death of the bloody things! Am hoping my boobs will shrink a bit eventually as they're still massive and would like to be able to fit into normal tops again. Re weaning and bottles, will A take milk from a sippy cup? We have definitely had more luck with the cup rather than the bottle.

These last few days of illness (for DD and myself) have made me realise how wobbly my arrangements for going back to work are. I'm bracing myself for non-stop illness as she's in nursery and so of course is going to pick up everything going. DP has been at home today and it's the first time ever that I've asked him to stay at home, but it's been a massive deal for him and he's very resentful, something we need to discuss further when I'm better. DD has missed 2 nursery sessions this week and this afternoon I rang them to see if she can go tomorrow (they're normally very happy to swap days around) but apparently they're full tomorrow! Not quite sure what this means, as the last time I asked a few weeks ago, they had space on Fridays. If I got a job, I think there's some fairly big shortfalls in what they can offer, and fear they will fill even more days the longer I leave it. And the job thing isn't going well either - applied for a role last week which I'm a perfect match for but have heard nothing back (it's actually a little bit suspicious as the skills they wanted were very specific) and can only assume the maternity leave/baby thing is putting them off. Trying not to get despondent but it's so bloody hard. And of course getting a job is one thing, keeping it is another - have visions of constantly ringing them saying sorry DD sick again, can't come in.

Anyway, hopefully things will look less bleak when I'm back to full health. And really need to sort out some supplements so that I don't catch everything DD has!

somewherebecomingrain · 22/11/2013 06:28

Hiya

avalon laugh out loud at wedgie! GrinGrinGrin It's actually the healthiest response possible (to think about it every time i see her rather than do it).

Actually I think her older son may have proper behavioural problems - I overheard her saying she got kept behind to talk about him frequently in reception - and I feel sorry for her. She's probably a bit overwhelmed. I just hope she doesn't think I'm rejecting her. But then she really would be nuts. Writing it out so epically really helped me think it through.

There is lots of good stuff at the school gates - lots of normal chatty mums, at least one I think could be a proper friend, everyone is all about being friendly. But it is high stakes stuff.

eagle (((()))) that sounds dreadful. I feel for you. Eaglet looks like such an angel but she has got a hose at both ends. I'm glad dp is at home and wish there was some way other than therapy to make these dumb men realise the bleeding obvious! Why don't they listen?

Your work stuff is slightly chilling. I am sure you will get back into it even if it's a bit different from how it was. That is what happened to me and I'm not v confident with work. I got it all going again, not less pay but it evolved to a new stage. Took a while!

bbd hope A not going down with lurgy!

cycle yay to washing machine! I once heard that the number one invention of the 20th century according to a massive opinion survey was the washing machine.

scare yay to work joy! Sounds really good and you will have lots of time with tintin and dd.

avalon yy to paracetamol. It's fine - all midwives, pg doctors say so. I was migraineous during pg and couldn't have done without it.

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somewherebecomingrain · 22/11/2013 08:14

OMG OMG alert. My dp went to my sons dad drinks (school) last night. One of the dads offered him a line of coke!!!

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rosiedays · 22/11/2013 08:55

Lol some! ! Was it the dh of freaky play date lady? ?? I thought it was a very posh school? Just shows money is no indication of class or morals! On a more serious note. ... do you know who the mother / child is? No play dates there would be my advice!

How strange that he should just offer a class a drug to someone he doesn't know.