Takes deep breath .... I am not enjoying motherhood

[Pagan]

Ok got that off my chest. I should be thankful coz I have the two most adorable kids who are basically very good but at the age they are at just now (2.9 and 17 months) I'm just fed up, knackered and bored.

Where can I go with them? DS (youngest) still cannot walk yet so pushchair required and DD whilst basically good at holding on to buggy still sometimes runs off. Shops don't do it for me (don't like shopping anyway and am skint), parks - how many times can I go, arty things - another no no due to boredom factor for them. DH works away a fair bit, we've had tons of work done to the house the last 18 months (still ongoing) and I'm wondering if being a mum gets better. I have images of doing exciting things with the kids when they are older but beginning to wonder if I'm hoping for too much!

Glum today and have been for past 3 weeks!

Thankyou for reading this far

Hi

just wanted to sympathise. I have 2 small children as well and am having a bit of a down day today. It is tricky finding places to go which don't cost money isn't it ? I have just handed my notice in at work as well, after 2 period of maternity leave, and sometimes wonder if I've done the right thing. Can't really say anything positive as I am feeling glum as well, but just to say that you are not alone - take each day as it comes and when you have a good day, enjoy it, and your children.

aww pagan. :( You're not alone though, I do find it hard when they're little. I've got 3 between 6 and 2.5 yrs, and it's just gruelling sometimes. It does get better quickly though, things will be completely different and easier by the time your youngest is 4, for example, and you really can do good stuff with them then.
I don't think you can be expected to enjoy every stage of motherhood, and it's ok to find it not much fun (shuddering at the thought of having a newborn baby here).

oh, and the only place I can take my 2.5 year old to is the soft play centre or a friend's house. He goes mental in the pushchair or supermarket trolley. It's very limiting.

Thanks gals - tis nice to know I'm not alone. Life shall indeed begin at 40 for me then

You're defo not alone. Many a day I look at the clock and see the time and think "gah ... x number of hours to bed time". DD is 3 and a half and I'm pg with #2 so knackered as well. My best days are when we actually plan to do something ... even if that is something like doing some gardening, or making a cake or go somewhere for lunch, or seeing a friend. doesn't have to be amazingly exciting just a plan for the day which breaks it up a bit.

And don't feel guilty about planning in some cbeebies time so you can put your feet up and zone out for a bit!

Just wanted to say as well - know where you are coming from. I have 3, but ds1 in reception, so have ds2 (3) and dd1 (2) all day.......it does get very boring. I wish I was better at the arts/crafts/all round entertainer thing, but I'm just not. And youre right, there are only so many visits to the park etc you can do. I think the key is other pple with kids the same age, but a lot of mine are now back at work having stopped at 2 kids. It is very boring at times..........

I was a clock watcher for years. Found that things improved markedly around 3 and half. Having said that she is 6 now and I still get ridiculously happy just after putting her to bed {smile]
Love her to bits but it's undoubtedly the best part of my day

thought it was just me?
i adore my dd, but sometimes im just a robot and going through the motions and counting dow until bedtime..that sounds terrible doesnt it
then dd waks up around 5am, so its not even i get peace and time to sleep, so i wake up in a foula dn tired mood and drags on through day.

i never thought i would find this so hard?!
and shes perfect, i should be so grateful

Count me in too. I adore my children (similar ages to you Pagan) but sometimes I'm just so damn bored. Sometimes a day just seems to be feeding, tidying, washing and emptying the f@#^@ dishwasher and the house still looks like a crp heap
I work one morning a week and sometimes another day if work is there but I've got no inkling to go back more (too lazy!) It's hard to find a hobby that can be pursued in the 5 mins of quiet time I can snatch here and there (when cbeebies is on.....)

Ok, whinge over, just to let you know you're definitely NOT alone!

Maddie
x

I was beginning to wonder if I was weird. My SIL has just told me that she was never bored and went out for walks all the time when her 3 were small!!!! My other SIL is the same. Makes me wonder what's wrong with me and if I'm cut out for motherhood. Then again if you read the other thread, I never sat still prior to having kids and also had a career so making the adjustment has been really hard, I suppose both my SILs didn't have that aspect so the change wasn't so great (not that I want to go back to work mind you)

Watch this space - I'm going to try to visit a castle tomorrow!!!!! Shall let you know how I get on

Hee hee! Good luck! DD is at nursery tomorrow morning (1 morning a week) so ds and I are going shopping...wish me luck too!

Maddie
x

Hi Pagan,

It sounds to me as though you could do with some time for yourself. Parenting is full of joys and challenges at every stage, but the challeges will feel a lot more bearable if you are able to do something independently from your children. When my children were small ( now ds8 & dd12) I too was bored to tears, but I started playing badminton every week as well as set up a reading group - all good for energy levels, brain and a good laugh with the girls away from the children and relatively low cost. My DH too worked away a lot, but I had an arrangement whereby Weds night was my night and he had to be home, and if not he had to arrange the babysitter! Incidentally my nickname is bestmum because that is on a key ring my children gave me 3 years ago (Somehow it all seems worth it when they do something like that) -it will get better, believe me. I am willing to bet you are a great mum and as you have already heard you are not alone in feeling bored and fed up.

Castle duly visited and picnic had in courtyard. Didn't get to see all of it as negotiating spiral staircase with DS in a sling and DD gripping my hand just too alarming but had a nice time anyway. They are both exhausted and having a nap leaving me to enjoy a coffee and a surf in peace - result!

Where shall I go tomorrow??

Oh and thanks for the post Bestmum - it really cheered me up. I do need some me time but the nature of DH's work makes it nigh impossible to plan that one night a week is mine and I'm usually too knackered by 8pm to contemplate anything energetic. Shall pin my hopes on some yoga classes or such like once they are both at nursery during the day. DD starts in September for 2 half days a week and 2 half days also at Playgroup so shan't have my hands quite so full. Intend to take DS swimming during this time

It really is hard going when they're little - my ds didn't walk until 17 mths. Pagan - but once he started, there was no stopping him

No answers but will be bookmarking the thread as I feel like this sometimes too. Good luck Pagan.

Pagan,I've had some grim times through similar circumstances.
You most certainly aren't alone.
Will get back to you but mother&baby group threatens..oops beckons.

Hum, with the best will in the world I can't imagine how anyone can enjoy having 2 of that age. Huge developmental changes for them both - sounds like your reaction is totally normal. Does your 3 year old go to playgroup? You qualify for a few sessions free at that age!

Hnag on in there; it just ain't easy

Glad it cheered you up Pagan. Hey if you prefer yoga - great, as long as it is you time. By the way hours of fun can be had with a hosepipe in the back garden. I hope you don't live in the SE!

Good luck

Just another voice adding in here - I so remember that stage with the dds - so demanding of your time and energy, and I used to hate playing all day, yes it does get really boring! I would guess your SILs might have forgotten all that though - tbh until I read your post I had forgotten about it!

Yes, it does get better - so much better! (But it can't be that bad or I wouldn't be doing it all over again!)

I've spent most of the past 5 years alone due to dh working away.
My family are abroad too,and we have moved house in that time.
Mine are 23 mths and 5 1/2.

It can be hard alone in UK,but also hard when we are in Turkey (remote place) for long periods of time with dh.

What works for me.......

-Forcing myself to get out every day. Babygroup,walks,trips around the shops (just for bits,I am not a shopper and the thought of soft play brings me out in a cold swaet)

-Get out as early as possible.An afternoon loafing is fine as long as you've had a morning out.

-Trips to the library

-Lots of swimming (wears 'em out)
If at a complete loss,put them in the bath.I have an armchair in my bathroom and read while they bugger about.

-Strict cleaning routine.Feel better if my house is in order

-Invite another mum and kid to call by at least once a week

-Joining a gym and exercising.Huge stress reliever. Dh now accepts that my p/t nursery place is an essential

-Having a project on the go. Mine is making patchwork quilts.My frame is up in the living room.Even if I'm with them,I don't feel that I am doing nothing.

I'm not a baby person at all.I started to enjoy my dd a great deal mnore when she got to 31/2.I find pushing a stroller one of the dullest aspects of motherhood.

I not even a sahm, but when I am at home with Ds for long periods, I find some adult company for me works wonders...lots of visiting and asking peopoe to visit - or even meet-ups in the park - much better to sit on the edge of the sandpit talking with another parent than gazing at endless buckets of sand being filled and emptied!

The local NCT tea group system worked brilliantly for me...can you contact them?

I have a mind to get a sprinkler as I'm told hours of fun can be had with that but since I live in not so sunny Scotland getting out in the garden would be quite an achievement today - it's chucking it down.

Moondog - you're so right. I must make an effort to get out even though it's a logistical nightmare. Already feel better for having done so this morning.

Pagan,repeat to self in the morning

'Up and out'

'Up and out'

I sometimes lash them into carseats,then come in and have a quick tidy before I leave.

I have done plenty of driving around with them until they sleep,then just parking and reading for 30 mins.

We go upstairs at about 6:00 pm and I fasten the baby gate and let them play while I read...

My worst times were long winter w/ends with only dd for company when she was about 18 mths.
It was grim.