Is there anyone who can give you a break from them regularly? A class that you have to go to seems to help-I got my ironing lady to mind mine so I could go to a meditation class every week at the same time, and it helped me. I became clinically depressed last winter with my 2 even though they are a bit older, now nearly 6 and 3.5, and even though I had an interesting job, which was part time. People at work with older kids kept telling me it gets worse, and hey guess what it did - fancy that. Do you think my attitude, which was affected by my bad-tempered colleagues, might have had a teensy bit to do with it? Now, I see them for what they are-moaners who drag me down further and are best avoided, in favor of cheerful people wherever I can find them. So, don't keep telling people with littler ones how much more rotten it will be when they are x, y and z (not that anyone here is, but I certainly get that message a lot from others). It's not helpful, and can be very harmful especially if you are developing depression which is not readily obvious to others or even yourself. And anyway, every mother and every kid is different as you can see by reading this thread. My dds would love to do art all day, every day, for example. They hate getting dirty, and will only enjoy our fabulous well-equipped garden if I push them out-bugs! spiders! MUUUUUM!
It's true, they ARE easier as people, and I am getting better at knowing what to do with them as unique individuals. I have improved my mood by getting more, well actually ANY me time, by realising that my partner is very unsupportive and likely to remain so, and by searching endlessly for babysitters and mother's helps, which is no joke, but I have a couple in my phone now who don't charge much, usually show up, and are not ALWAYS busy, sick or on holiday. I also accept that doing anything with kids of this age is work not play for me, that's the way I am, and I also now have to devote time to each kid as an individual, or their behaviour gets worse and they fight with each other more-another babysitter expense, and this time only for the other kid! But essential.
Good things to do while you have a cuppa and gaze (fondly is optional) out the window at them-bubbles, have other kids round but confine all to garden, give them some vegetables to wash in a basin, give them a water spray bottle to water plants or "clean" things like their bike, maybe in raingear. Indoors-TV hurray for tv; a tent pretend camping, or blankets on chairs, big cardboard boxes. tea party, picnic on blanket with plastic plates and nibbles, fill plastic t pot with water or non-staining squash. Mine ignore all the expensive toys!