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Takes deep breath .... I am not enjoying motherhood

86 replies

Pagan · 19/06/2006 10:44

Ok got that off my chest. I should be thankful coz I have the two most adorable kids who are basically very good but at the age they are at just now (2.9 and 17 months) I'm just fed up, knackered and bored.

Where can I go with them? DS (youngest) still cannot walk yet so pushchair required and DD whilst basically good at holding on to buggy still sometimes runs off. Shops don't do it for me (don't like shopping anyway and am skint), parks - how many times can I go, arty things - another no no due to boredom factor for them. DH works away a fair bit, we've had tons of work done to the house the last 18 months (still ongoing) and I'm wondering if being a mum gets better. I have images of doing exciting things with the kids when they are older but beginning to wonder if I'm hoping for too much!

Glum today and have been for past 3 weeks!

Thankyou for reading this far

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Olihan · 20/06/2006 15:46

Pagan, get some of those waterproof trousers and jackets and set them loose in the garden in them. My ds would happily play in the rain (I hate it) so I tog him up and send him out!!

I also understand about the boredom factor - mine are 2.5 and 10 months so I'm a bit restricted in what I can do too.

Have you got a local friend who's quite flexible about when she can go out in the evenings? A friend of mine and I go to the pub once a fortnight on whatever evening our dh's are both in and it's bliss just to be able to chat or moan in peace. (I'm pg too so I don't even have a drink - it's just nicer than being in the house!!

Pagan · 20/06/2006 15:50

I do try to get out with pals but they always seem to need to plan in advance and it's always me who does the planning or suggestions. Last time I went out one of the pals called off saying she had to rush home to discuss something with her gardener!!!!! Thankfully the other made it else I'd have been going loopy

OP posts:
motherpeculiar · 22/06/2006 11:44

where do you live?

in london there are "city farms" which are generally free and the kids like them

otherwise have no advice really - gets to me at times too (and I get a break by working 3 days a week fgs)

we do spend an inordinate amount of time in the local park though

good luck

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Bugsy2 · 22/06/2006 12:08

Pagan, my sympathy to you. I used to feel exactly the same when my children were little (they are 6 & 4 now & the difference is mind boggling).
I found that the only ways to make the days bearable were to have plans. Anything, just to give a bit of structure. So trip to the library (free), trip to the shops (not necessarily to buy anything much but just to get out), get playdates in the diary, to to the oddly named one o'clock clubs which are usually open for hours etc etc
For "at home" stuff, if you have a garden buy a roll of lining paper & unwind miles of it & buy some cheapy paint & let them loose to make a big mess. Then fill a washing up bowl with warm soapy water & let them have a go at washing themselves afterwards - that used to kill quite a bit of time.

lazycow · 22/06/2006 12:59

Thnak god someone else thinks that moondog.

Ds is 18 months and the days I am home just with him and the wether is bad./raining etc I go absolutely bonkers.

Definitely get out. I go out twice a day as we tend to come back for lunch and a nap. I rarely stay in all day and am often out all day bar a couple of hours in the morning and at lunchtime.

muminaquandary · 22/06/2006 13:14

Another thing to do in the garden which is dead cheap is "flour" play. Just let them loose with a couple of bowls & wooden spoons, some flour & if you are feeling really adventurous, food colouring. Make sure they have their wet togs / aprons on (you too!!) & let 'em loose.

Have you tried a ball pool outside rather than a paddling pool?

Also, when out on walks collect "bits" eg sticks, leaves etc to then stick on card / old cereal boxes for them to touch and feel.

Let them "help" with chores eg sorting laundry, cooking.

Tatties · 22/06/2006 13:52

Pagan you are not weird, I feel like this all the time and I only have one (14mths). Sometimes it seems way to hard to just to get out the door! But I always feel better if we do. I know I definitely need more 'me' time, but it's not always easy top get it. I think there are some really great ideas on here though.

mommie · 22/06/2006 14:03

what a refreshing thread this is. i too struggle with being alone all day with dd - 20 months. we are in the park so often i might as well be a park ranger. but the other day flew by when we had someone visit and then went to a christening party. i think the key - for me at least - is to pack other people into our day (with a time limit for my mum )

Highlander · 22/06/2006 14:10

I'm dreading this winter with 2. Last winter with DS was just absolutely awful; I was in tears most days. He hated being out in his buggy, was bored in the house, I was knackered cos he wasn't sleeping and I had no idea what to do with him.
I found life a whole lot easier by involving him in housework - he just loves pretending to sort laudry and dust/clean windows. I had to force myself to do stuff slowly though and spin the task out!!

porolli · 22/06/2006 18:24

totally agree with most of this. I have 3 aged 5, 2 and 5 months. for me things improved enormously when ds1 started in reception last september. it not only gets one of one's hands for most of the day, but it also forces me to be up and ready and leaving the house at 8.30am for a walk to school and again at 2.45. also made more friends at the school gates. my day seems so much more segmented - the before school, the up to lunch bit, the after lunch but before school run bit, the after school bit (the killer) and the after tea to bed bit.
I still struggle with the two I have at home all the time but I can see a vision of the future where two and then three go to school!

canadianmum · 22/06/2006 19:13

great thread, as always it is great to know that there are others out there who feel the same.

Mine are now 3.5 (twins) and it is getting SO much easier now. They can play on their own for longer periods, I can take them out to cafes and other places without it being a disaster, it is such a relief. A few weeks ago I took them to the Natural History museum and we had such a nice time, much better than we would have had at home where I probably would have ended up shouting and getting really fed up. I was nervous about taking them on my own but it worked out brilliantly.

The key is definitely to get out, even if you don't feel like it. I have almost never regretted getting out of the house, even if it is to the local caf to get a coffee or to the newsagent for an evening paper. And as several others said, meet up with other people as much as possible, adult conversation does wonders for zombie brain.

SabineJ · 22/06/2006 19:52

Thanks for the post !!!
I too thought that I was the only one finding staying at home with them really difficult.
My way to solve the problem :

  • being out every morning (Toddler group, park)Something else that DS1 really enjoys is the railway museum. He is just running to look at all the locos saying 'Thomas !!!', 'Henry !!!', and comes back home knacked.
    I don't know where you leave but we also took a card with the National Trust. The children still go free so it's still reasonable and it helps changing the background of the walks.

  • having some time for myself. I have set up my own business that I run from home and I am working 3 days a week. The aim is to cover the nusrery cost, that's all. I found that it made a tremendous difference as I can feel that I can be 'me' sometimes, not just mummy or the spouse.
    I would NOT be able to stay at home with them every day and I truely admire all of you that are doing just that.
    At last I have found back the capacity to laugh, being relaxed and enjoy the evenings with DH - previoulsy just dreamed to go bed .

EmmyLou · 22/06/2006 20:20

It is hard, I think especially so with your first child - and when your dh works away a lot. I found that once dd2 came along (dd1 was by then 3.9) we got more of a routine going and life was more varied in gereral. Agree with getting out of the house - it makes such a difference and yes, I had to force myself to local Mother and baby Group and Toddler Group just to get out. I remember thinking that I was sure I wouldn't find anything in common with the other mothers and that just because we all had children didn't mean we would become friends (I think I missed my work collegues) but of course many of them are good friends now and I am even running the toddler group these days .

Nevertheless, I am at the stage after 3 years part time SAHM and 7 years full time SAHM I am thinking there must be more. Surely its my time soon?

Frizbe · 22/06/2006 22:30

lol Moondog, I chuck mine in the bath as a last resort too
Totally agree with getting out as well, dh say's I'm claustrophobic cause I won't stay in the house for a whole day with the kids I have to get out somewhere, park, softplay, swimming, library - which has some good play sessions free too mother n toddlers, toylibrary, other mums houses, anywhere! so maybe I am, but sure beats staying in all day with two under 3!

handlemecarefully · 22/06/2006 22:41

Someone suggested the library - that's an excellent way to spend time on a budget. Most have little play areas too and many libraries run half hour story time sessions etc free of charge (check their programmes).

I get bored as a SAHM to an almost 4 yr old and 2 yr old - so I am now on fundraising committee for dd's pre school and will be taking over the Chairman role in July. It's an outlet.

You said that you were strapped for cash - but is there anything locally you could join with a season ticket (initial financial outlay but free for multiple visits thereafter). We've got season tickets to the zoo and to a local theme park. Seem expensive upfront but stunningly good value for money considering how often we use it.

Life should get a bit easier for you soon when your dd starts Pre School. Go the whole hog and book her in for 5 sessions per week!

yummummy · 23/06/2006 08:10

I feel so much better that so many other mums seem to feel the same sense of frustration and guilt because being a SAHM drives them crazy. My two dds (nearly 2 and nearly 4) are great fun but it's the monotony of the early mornings, 3 meals and the resulting mess, naps, bedtime nightmare hour and then two hours clearing up the carnage of the day etc that makes you want to tear your hair out. Totally agree with getting them out as often as possible... but also agree with handlemecarefully's comment about needing an outlet.. I am considering doing an Open Uni masters- did my degree over 12 years ago so it's a bit daunting- anyone else out there tried doing this with two? Advice would be appreciated as it scares the hell out of me!

Frizbe · 23/06/2006 08:40

Yummymummy I do know someone whose attempted a masters with one, but she still ended up using nursery to help with it for a few days a week.....I guess it depends what subject you do for it? I just finished my OU degree a few days before giving birth to dd1, and can honestly say I wouldn't have fancied the workload with her in tow! on the other hand OU is very flexable, so you could talk to them about doing it over several years, rather than just one, which would cut things down and make it manageable HTH's

EmmyLou · 23/06/2006 09:33

Yummummy - I had thought of doing similar (finished my degree 18 years ago)but am downsizing my ambitions and thinking about doing a couple of A level type courses instead (and only once dd3 starts school). A degree/masters is a huge commitment - I have friends who have done PGCEs which are only for a year, but have found the work load a real struggle. A lot depends on the support you have in place around you - flexible childminders, grandparents etc.

muminaquandary · 23/06/2006 09:56

As a student / SAHM / p-time worker, I would say go for it on the study front, but while they are still little try something manageable that you can do most of from home, I am sure some of the OU courses are short & mainly home based. Also, doing a PhD in a fairly useless subject like me (but I do love it!!) doesn't give you more options work-wise when you finsih so do consider what you do quite carefully ...a s I am now totally overqualified (in employers' eyes) for most jobs!!

Pagan · 23/06/2006 10:59

Wow - this thread has really kicked off. Very useful tips and comments which I shall defin try to implement. I had gone to Mums/Toddlers but it was becoming more of a burden than an enjoyment as DD didn't like it therefore clung to me like a limpet and had no time for DS. Also there were few mums, just childminders and grans so didn't make many friends. I will try to get out more. Spent a whole day in park yesterday and even had lunch there.

Yummummy - I did do my Masters and only just completed it last year. I found it really hard going and I had done most of it before giving up work. I only had to complete one module (a project and an exam) and my dissertation but it was a real slog trying to fit it in round the kids.

OP posts:
majorstress · 23/06/2006 11:24

Is there anyone who can give you a break from them regularly? A class that you have to go to seems to help-I got my ironing lady to mind mine so I could go to a meditation class every week at the same time, and it helped me. I became clinically depressed last winter with my 2 even though they are a bit older, now nearly 6 and 3.5, and even though I had an interesting job, which was part time. People at work with older kids kept telling me it gets worse, and hey guess what it did - fancy that. Do you think my attitude, which was affected by my bad-tempered colleagues, might have had a teensy bit to do with it? Now, I see them for what they are-moaners who drag me down further and are best avoided, in favor of cheerful people wherever I can find them. So, don't keep telling people with littler ones how much more rotten it will be when they are x, y and z (not that anyone here is, but I certainly get that message a lot from others). It's not helpful, and can be very harmful especially if you are developing depression which is not readily obvious to others or even yourself. And anyway, every mother and every kid is different as you can see by reading this thread. My dds would love to do art all day, every day, for example. They hate getting dirty, and will only enjoy our fabulous well-equipped garden if I push them out-bugs! spiders! MUUUUUM!

It's true, they ARE easier as people, and I am getting better at knowing what to do with them as unique individuals. I have improved my mood by getting more, well actually ANY me time, by realising that my partner is very unsupportive and likely to remain so, and by searching endlessly for babysitters and mother's helps, which is no joke, but I have a couple in my phone now who don't charge much, usually show up, and are not ALWAYS busy, sick or on holiday. I also accept that doing anything with kids of this age is work not play for me, that's the way I am, and I also now have to devote time to each kid as an individual, or their behaviour gets worse and they fight with each other more-another babysitter expense, and this time only for the other kid! But essential.

Good things to do while you have a cuppa and gaze (fondly is optional) out the window at them-bubbles, have other kids round but confine all to garden, give them some vegetables to wash in a basin, give them a water spray bottle to water plants or "clean" things like their bike, maybe in raingear. Indoors-TV hurray for tv; a tent pretend camping, or blankets on chairs, big cardboard boxes. tea party, picnic on blanket with plastic plates and nibbles, fill plastic t pot with water or non-staining squash. Mine ignore all the expensive toys!

Gabysmum · 23/06/2006 11:50

I love this tread. It has really helped me just reading about other mums going through the same stuff as me. Pagan and muminaquandry, I know how you feel. I qualified as a doctor about 18yrs ago, been home with kids for 11yrs, have tried to change jobs, but seems I'm overqualified for everything. Done lots of other courses at the college and just starting a counselling course. I'd like a job that fits in with my life and not the other way round. Is that too selfish?

muminaquandary · 23/06/2006 13:14

Gabysmum here here & majorstress glad to hear you are feeling better

PetitFilou1 · 23/06/2006 13:20

I can empathise with this too - have ds 2.4 and dd nearly 10 months. Ds goes to nursery three days a week but now dd is getting bored at home with me so I go out with her to a music group and gymboree(which is a total rip off but she loves it) on those days. On the other days at the moment we go to another music group and to the park to feed the ducks with my fil (that takes up all morning )I used to spend quite a bit of time at my neighbours house as she also had a 2.5 year old but she's moved - it really upset me as I used to depend on her a bit and she made me laugh when I felt down..... I am dreading the Winter dd will be 18 months and ds rising 3 they are going to need more than a bit of wearing out (might just have to go out in the rain) I am not a natural mother, hopeless at arts and crafts, I love them to bits but do find it a real strain at times. I have started going to pilates once a week which is great and am trying to think of something else I can do for myself.......Me and dh are also making much more effort to go out together once a fortnight (even though the babysitter costs a fortune.....)

muminaquandary · 23/06/2006 13:56

can I just say that you don't have to be an arts and crafts expert to be a "natural" mother ...

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