Takes deep breath .... I am not enjoying motherhood

[Pagan]

Ok got that off my chest. I should be thankful coz I have the two most adorable kids who are basically very good but at the age they are at just now (2.9 and 17 months) I'm just fed up, knackered and bored.

Where can I go with them? DS (youngest) still cannot walk yet so pushchair required and DD whilst basically good at holding on to buggy still sometimes runs off. Shops don't do it for me (don't like shopping anyway and am skint), parks - how many times can I go, arty things - another no no due to boredom factor for them. DH works away a fair bit, we've had tons of work done to the house the last 18 months (still ongoing) and I'm wondering if being a mum gets better. I have images of doing exciting things with the kids when they are older but beginning to wonder if I'm hoping for too much!

Glum today and have been for past 3 weeks!

Thankyou for reading this far

This is a great thread! I have 2 sons 2.7 and 15 mths. I have been going out of my mind trying to find stuff to do to keep them occupied and also stop the boredom for me. So glad to hear that it gets easier as they get older.

I live in a different country to my family which can make things a bit lonely at times. It would be great to drop in for a chat with mum and sisters. I do have great friends here though and DH is great.

I hate the fact that I seem to talk about kids all the time and nothing else! I need to start a hobby of some sort.

Same as you Vossy - went to Take That last night. It was fantastic and I really felt like me again! Dancing and singing like a lunatic on a chair for 2 hours! Yippee...

Yup - my confidence has taken a real nosedive too. I also feel that no-one is interested in anything I have to say anymore, it all revolves round kid stuff. I do feel like a different person, a mum/wife and not anything like the adventurous, fit, happy-go-lucky person I was before. I also feel like I've really aged since having the kids. Whereas before I looked about 5 years younger than my age, now I look 5 years older

The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I started to read some of these posts. Brought back memories of very trying days.

My children were and are a delight but Jesus, there is only so much time I could spend sitting on the floor doing jigsaws or building blocks before i became a complete and utter nutter!

My husband works shifts so I remember the long wet winter weekends when I was knackered, the days spread out before me and I assumed all my friends were chilling with their families and I yearned for my Sundays sprawled in bed with the papers!

Things were always much easier in the summer when you could at least sit in the garden or go to parks or walk up the lanes etc. and things like Toddler Group and music playtime, Tumble tots etc, really helped but the big turning point was starting school!

Now, at 9 years old and nearly 7, there are no long winter days. I can hold good conversations with them, no more floor sitting and life is just sooooo good.

I guess some people love the toddler stage, but not me ( and not a lot of others by the sounds of it).

Give me a newborn to stare and coo over but then hand me the child back at 5 please!!!

It will and does get better, so much better!

Pagan, I promise it gets better. I felt about 75 when my children were very small. I really didn't enjoy it. They are 6 & 4 and it is a world apart.
Its a long tunnel, but there is light at the end of it.

No matter how infuriating and painfull (in that relentless-jigsaw-on-the-floor kind of way) the days can be, I do try and remember to enjoy the odd moments, especially dd3's chubby bottom running along the landing after bath time. Its just to sad to think of wishing the time away when they are little. I look at dd1 (nearly 11) and think where did the time go?

Justamum - are there any mums and tots groups that run in your area over the summer? We run our local one (its only once a week anyway) throughout the summer holidays (North Yorkshire...?). The thought of six long weeks with no set routine/regular contact with others makes me want to scream. Could you set one up with a group of other mums, or even just do a holiday meet-up rota and take it in turns meeting at each other's homes or out and about somewhere?

Even though we live on the main street of our village people seem to disappear into the woodwork all summer and you go for ages without seeing familiar faces. Best thing is to organise days out with children's friends and their mums - I get so much more adventurous if there is another mum to go with and its so much more fun for me (oh, and the children too )

This thread has made me cry, thank god it's not just me who feels like this. I have a wonderful 17 month old DS but I feel so down, and lonelY like i can't cope.
It's very re-assuring to know it will get better when i'm having down days, like today. Here's hoping for a better weekend.

Thank you for this thread. I only have one, dd is 2, and I wonder how i'd cope with another one. sometimes I cry with frustration.

We live abroad, in a very remote village, where she can't start kindergarten until age 4 (!!!!) and no other childcare.

I was doing a German course which took me into the nearest city twice a week,it was wonderful! but that has now finished and I missed the last 2 classes because dd was ill. Cried about that too .

I have always wanted 3 children but I don't know if I could face starting again with another

PS and I adore my dd, love her absolutely to bits. It's just that I get so lonely, homesick and frustrated.

thank goodness for mumsnet...

It is so reassuring to read this thread. I have been feeling a bit guilty lately because I seem to just be going through the motions of getting through the day with ds (2.10). He can be such a lovely child, but then, with seemingly no provocation he erupts into a little screaming beast. I am assuming this is what they are talking about re: "terrible twos". I am also 16 weeks pg with #2 and have felt pretty much like crap so far into this pregnancy.

My only way of saving my sanity at this point is working 2 1/2 days a week. The office has become a point of refuge, I'm sorry to say.

Oh my GOD. This thread just saved me today. Feeling very down, lonely, angry, fed-up, frustrated, empty, bored, tired, unmotivated, sad, lack in confidence and self image - Totally different from who I used to be. To be honest, I wouldn't wish this life on anyone.
My son is nearly 1 and yes, it is better, but then again, there is no demand on you in terms of going places and doing things with them, as they get bored. He now goes to nursery a few mornings a week and I think he is better of there, as he is very very happy in there playing and socialising with other kids. I made the right decision there and gave myself some sanity back too.
Can't see past tomorrow and see no future. Very strange feeling not knowing whether it would ever get better. The worse thing about motherhood is not having a life and losing yourself completely. I wonder if I ever find it again or have my life back or enjoy anything again.
Thanks again to everyone for some encouraging and damn funny posts. I haven't laughed in days until today

there is MORE demand, not no demand
(correction to my previous post)