Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Cont.... so spending a lot of time at home just me and baby often not getting out of pj's . Met dm and df on sat , they had spent a week at my sisters in Cornwall but could only spare an hour to see us on the way home and we had to meet them out of the city as dm did not want to come here. Lunch was a rushed sandwich in costa!! DM (who has been open about her disapproval of baby rose on many levels) held her for photos but was so disinterested it was painful. I put dd in a lovely new dress for the occasion, dm checked the label to see where it was from (asda) then went on to talk about all the lovely shops she and sis had been to to get baby clothes for ds baby due in jan.

Things that wouldn't have bothered me much (I've always thought i was pretty thick skinned) as now reducing me to tears and playing on my mind for days
hopefully this will pass and is just a post baby blip.
Baby rose is fab :) she's doing something new nearly every day. . She's started rubbing eyes when tired and smiles are becoming little chuckles. She's also started telling stories :) we sit and chat for ages. I'm loving being a mum again at home but finding it really difficult in public.

Sorry for split posting but fed up loosing posts!

Knotty, I love the way you are with DS, I know he is 9 and of course much better behaved than my almost 5, I m taking notes for the future ! How did the cooking lesson go ?
Scarecrow, I had 2 cousins, 9 and 11 yo, DS 4.9 and A duing the summer. I spent some days running after them in my mum's garden with A in my arms just to make sure they would not fall over garden tools, climb on trees, throw stones on neighbours' dog.... Well done you ! Yor post about PND was beautiful as usual, you are a very lovely person. Talking of PND, hope you are feeling better MrsW.
Rosie, so sorry about your DM's feeling and behaviour, don't let it get in to your head if you can, enjoy baby Rose, I don't mind buying Asda and splash on education later or family hols, what is the point anyway to buy very nice baby cloth ? They will not be used that often ecause they grow out of tem very quickly, then when babes are mobile, cloth get torn and dirty if not covered in leaking poo.... This is a bit waste of money and not sensible (hope Im not offending anyone :) ) don't feel ashamed, you are brave.
Goat, I m up for a coffee on Weds too.
Will do more reading and ame check later. Putting DCs to bed not. Be back later.

Oh bbd I have just discovered that I can't meet this Wednesday as I have to cover meetings. I could do tomorrow though if that's not too late notice?
Rosie that is so about your DJ - I am so sorry. I know how hard it can be not to have family support. I hope you have good networks elsewhere (including here!)
I made a chicken and mustard pie for dinner - it was lovely. It's nice to cook for relaxation after a long day at work.

Argh. Bugger. Forgot to name change back. That was me...

I can do tomorrow Goat or Whalerider, whatever you are called ! Anyone else wants to join even with such short notice ?

rosie I feel for you. Handholding and ((((hugs)))). What is up with your mum? It is wonderful that you ave had baby rosie days she is a little miracle.

Xxx

Lovely and busy on the thread today...

Goat, I like WhaleRider too, though not as quirky as GBA. Reminds me, I found a book in charity shopmthisnsummer which to my delight DD is enchanted by: it's called The Whales' Song by Dylan Sheldon and Gary Blythe (who won an international award for his illustrations). It is wistful, thought provoking, musical (poetic), and obviously a good enough story to captivate a 2 and a half year old (I see its recommended for 4+ so might suit some older DC who would probably get even more out of it). I think it might be originally from New Zealand. It feels like it is. Recommend.

Hope you avoided worst of bug, BBD, and A is fully better.

Sadly can't do coffee tomorrow: can't do next Wed 18th as DD's first day at Montessori (in answer to your kind question, BBD), but can probably do Wednesdays after.

Talking of Montessori, DD has only just clocked I won't go with her. I'm already feeling sad about using childcare during my mat leave as suddenly every waking hour with her seems precious. Now I wonder why on earth I thought Montessori was a good idea too. I feel like a ridiculously pushy parent and regret booking it up. I would stop using CM as well (pay her but not use her) except I want some continuity when I go back to work. Plus it is so hard to focus on T when she is around, and he is turning out to be a super sociable little chap

Have fun tomorrow if you do meet. Night all x

Rosie, I've had some negativity from DM recently but nothing on this scale. You poor thing. Also hand holding. You and Baby Rose are very much wanted in the snug

(I don't want to excuse her, but is there any chance she feels alienated or something. My DM did very little with DD and in retrospect I think she felt I had rejected her parenting style and wanted to do things differently, and was almost shy. Part of me thinks "grow up" and part of me feels sad she has so little self confidence. But maybe this doesn't apply?)

Somewhere. .. my mother is a racist Catholic snob my baby is mixed race and Muslim. I am an embarrassment at the yacht club. Lol we have No mother daughter relationship and haven't since I got pg at 17 (during the holidays from convent boarding school )

Rosie, it all sounds so horrible, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with such a toxic relationship. Your little girl sounds amazing and at the end of the day, it's your mum's loss. To a much lesser degree, I get very annoyed and upset that my MIL has yet to meet Rosa. She lives in Austria and DP speaks to her every few weeks but for reasons I can't quite fathom, keeps saying she's going to come over but never does! We usually go there every summer but due to DP's workload, we couldn't make it this year (first year in 10 years!). She makes excuses that her shoulder is hurting her, flying makes her ill (although she manages holidays abroad with her friend , she's got too many dental appts (WTF!). We've offered to pay her flight but still nothing. I feel sad because DS has a lovely relationship with her but it looks like Rosa won't have the same. I send her photos every month but she never acknowledges them. She is a bit of an odd woman and also was in a very abusive relationship with DP's shit of a dad for years and when she finally left him, she seemed to make a decision not to be beholden to anyone, which I totally understand but it would be nice if she could see her granddaughter before she turns 1!

DS did very well with the shepherd's pie! He made a rice pudding the week before. He's always helped out in the kitchen but I'm trying to let him do more stuff on his own (with supervision) but being a control freak, it's easier said than done!

Oh ladies please forgive my pity party yesterday.

As i settled rose bud last night I again thought of all the women round the world doing the same, we are so lucky, all our children are healthy have full tummies and have a warm safe bed to sleep in. Humdulla

Hello Somewhere, nice to hear from you, it must be nice to have your space back, isn't it even if it means no extra pair of hands to help ! You will be fine I am sure. How is the fasting going ?
Rosie, yes, you are right, we are so lucky to have beautiful healthy babies and can give them a roof, food and time when they are this young. With DS I was sometimes scared of getting out of the house, I felt threatened by everything, germs, cars, fumes... I felt safe only at home, in my own environment, with no witness, I did not want to be judged by any one. This time around, I don't really have a choice, I take A everywhere DS needs to go. The only place I avoid is GP's waiting room. And I cannot care less about what people think.
Knotty, as you said to Rosie, it is your MIL's loss. Rosa is so gorgeous. My Mum hates to travel, actually she hates to be away from her house, even going for dinner at my brother's, who lives 3 minutes away by car, she can sometimes find excuses ! Maybe it is age, mine is almost 80, I can understand that her body is aching and noise can be a pain. Your DS sounds great. Good job, Mum !
Scarecrow, don't feel sad, we all want to give what we think is best for our children, I wanted to send DS to Montessori too but because I was working FT at that time, nursery was a better option, I did not want to trust a CM for hols... Ironically, I was made redundant by that specific employer. Had I known, I would have quit ! Don't feel sad either, T needs you more than anyone right now. L too but at a lesser degree. And she will have fun at Montessori, learn through play, friends to play with, she will amaze you everyday. Yes, as they grow up and get more independent, every waking hour is precious. As I drop DS at school, I just can't wait to hold him against me again ! This morning I woke up before A and heard DS reading in his room, instead of preparing breakfast and get ready myself, I went to read with him, I beat myself afterwards as I had to rush him a bit. My own fault for being selfish.
Looking forward to meeting you again in a few weeks !

A has recovered quickly, Sat was a nappy day but Sun was ok and yesterday she had only 1 massive soiled nappy at 6.30pm. I managed to avoid the bug. DS was fine too on Sun. Big relief.

A is taking a lot of risks, climbing everywhere she can, on her brother's Stokke highchair, out of the bath tub, stairs, sofa, bed. I can't leave her alone for a sec, her cot is the only safe/safest place.

All right, cooking is done, I can have a shower now before meeting up with Goat.

Currently having lunch while spying on A who is having lunch too at nursery, looks like she has 3 playmates today and there are 3 carers.... This ratio might not last long but it is a nice start.

Had a bit of melt down. Weighed myself before getting in the shower, 3 kg less that pre 1st pg weight. My Mum over the summer has continously said that I lost too much weight, did not really believe her as I had 10 days in all inclusive resort before that and ate like a pig. Being underweight can be a pb in my case. Back to healthier eating, I tend to snack a lot with the kids and although it is healthy, the quantity might not be enough, but I am too tired to eat properly though.

BBD - I have visions of you hiding in the bushes with your sandwiches, staking out the nursery! It sounds like A is getting on really well at nursery so far. Sorry you're struggling to maintain your weight - not a problem I'm familiar with myself, but you need to make sure you don't get too run down. Did you and Goat have a nice time meeting up?

Rosie you have a pity party if you like - we're all here for you anyway. So sorry DM has behaved like this - how mean. I'm probably a bit like you - really enjoying hanging out at home and not doing a huge amount of stuff on the mother/baby scene locally (I put myself under a bit of pressure initially to do stuff like that but have now forgiven myself for not bothering). Things I have enjoyed when out and about are swimming lessons (we've just started them) at the local university - very quiet and private in a small pool, with only a couple of babies in the class. I also go to a sling meet, which is a great way to meet mums with babies/toddlers of different ages - always lots of friendly advice and support there, and very non-intimidating. Other than that, I've decided I will just do nice walks with DD (and picnics while the weather permits) and of course now we've got the trailer, the world is our oyster!

Knotty sorry you're having problems getting your MIL to come over. I'm finding my own DM getting quite awkward with old(er) age - she loves DD but is very reluctant to come and visit and makes me feel guilty when I don't go up to see her frequently. Your DS is doing a brilliant job with the cooking - he'll make someone a fab husband one day...

Somewhere hope to hear more from you soon - you have been missed! How's the fasting going?

Scarecrow don't worry about DD - I second BBD's advice in that you are doing what you think is best for her, and it does give you some quiet time with T. I still giggle when I look at the photos of T and Baby E together - talk about flirting!

Feeling spectacularly tired today as sadly Baby E has had a bit of a blip with her sleeping through the night thing. She's not had a single wakeup before 5am for well over a week now and then last night she woke crying at 1am - I was gutted! No idea if it was a one-off or not, but have put an extra layer on her tonight in case she was getting a bit cold. Have taken the drastic step of buying her a potty as noticed she is v predictable with poos after breakfast. It's being put to the test tomorrow morning - will be interesting to see if she performs...

And talking of poo, had the worst trauma ever today (and I know you are all dying to hear about it so feel it's only right that I share). Changed her post-breakfast nappy earlier today and took it to the loo to tip the contents away, when I feel something soft land between my toes. Oh yes. Cue lots of hopping and shouting and trying not to be sick...

The hunt for a nursery continues - I've found one which is great (good reputation, 5 min walk from house, liked it when I visited, they have spaces available etc) but really wanted to view others so I could compare but it's hard work. Another local one has had a terrible report so not worth even enquiring, a good one nearby is taking forever to organise a viewing and so on. Should I just go ahead and enrol at the one I like?

Morning all.:)

eagelray yuk yuk yyk
Re nursery, does it cost much to register? strangely dd2 called yesterday worried about the same thing. She visited first nursery yesterday and really liked it they had spaces on her chosen days and dgc had run off and played straight away (she is a very mum only lo who does not like adults or having dd out of sight)
My advice to her was book it see how it goes if it's not right look again. Did it feel right?

scarecrow what a great gift your giving dd. She will gain so much from the experience she will gain. what a lucky little girl (smile) no need for guilt! !!!

Thanks all for sharing your dm/mil stories. always helps to know I'm not the only one!

knotty every one needs to know how to cook. Your ds sounds like he's enjoying doing it too! Another lovely gift to give a child ( or young man in your case)

bbd I had a very similar vision to egealray!

It's jab day today :( I ate a big bar of dark chocolate last night too( bad mummy wasn't thinking! !!) So preparing for a possible few tough days.

Good morning everyone ! 3rd day on my own with the 2 terrors and every one fed, no one dead (I love that, very true).

We had a lovely time with baby G who is so mobile, chat over a smoothie and went to the playground. Very relaxing few hours. Shall do that again.

I don't know what to do really, nursery is giving me the choice of either putting A in 3 full days or 5 mornings with the possibility to occasionally leaving her full day if I need to see clients. Full days are good in the sense that I get an hour with DS on my own after school. But A did not nap nor eat at all yesterday (her first full day session out of 3 this week) until I came in and she accepted a few spoons of her tea, she took part in activities, was cheerful but refused everything apart from fruit and 1 rusk, she did not sleep from 7am to 5pm. I hope today will be better. On the other hand, 5 mornings mean that I can get her to nap properly, which is important for a good night sleep but leaving me no 1-2-1 time with DS.

Eagleray, I can see A on the internet, the nursery has webcams. My Dad checked on me hiding when I was the rebel teenager and got taken to the police station, poor Dad, bless him.
Do you have to put any money down to register baby Eagle to the nursery you like ? If not, or if it is not a big amount, why not do it then ? Sounds like it is very convenient and ticks all your criteria.

Rosie, I don't go to playgroups either, conflicting shedules with nap time. There is a baby bounce on Thursday at the local library, 30', that is the only one I go to if A is awake.

Yesterday evening was a bit of a nightmare. Left Goat, feeling relaxed, picked up DS on time, he started complaining about right abdominal pain, we have a 30min walk and he was complaining every 3 metres, stopping and bending as if he wanted to throw up. Plus, we had to pick up A from nursery, adding another 15min. Called the GP at 4pm, made appointment for 6.10, carrying half DS home while pushing sleeping A, of course she fell asleep in the pushchair... Arrived home, sent DS to bed, cooked dinner, A woke up, gave dinner to DS who suddenly did not have more pain ? Fed A at the same time, bathed her and off to GP. Looks like indigestion, not enough food chewing ? Back home at 6.45. Bathed DS, read a book, fed A. 7.30, they were both sleeping and I collapsed on the sofa. A woke up 3 times and DS once during the night. I m not doing anything today apart from cooking for tonight and tomorrow. Will do my best to be a couch potato today.

Xxxx

Jabs done!

Enjoy your sofa day bbd

Well done, Rosie - first are worst, for mummy anyway.

bbd, please look after yourself better. When is DH back? I'm planning a night or two away from family, leaving DC with DH, later this year. As A is older can you have a night or two away - with a girl friend, at a spa? I wonder if you could make time for a little mindfulness once A is more settled in nursery. Do remember she will get more settled and happier: she will eat and sleep. Do talk to staff perhaps and see how "normal" this is as a beginning? ((Special hug lovely woman))

eagle, afraid I am still laughing about the poo-drop :D When we were in France second time friends had all their neighbours over for apperitif: I put on a dress and dressed DC in nicest clothes and tried not to think about "Why French children don't throw food": while I was making polite small talk and trying to look less of a chaotic Rosbif, T, who was in my arms, did an enormous fart, followed through by his first giant poonami, which within nano seconds was pouring through his best Breton stripped Jojo rompersuit. End of that charade!

Am even more in love with my DC than ever today. If that is possible

Scarecrow, love the incident with T at your French friends' ! Thank you for the very special hug. I am not too worried for A, she will get used to it and won't starve herself, I think she ate better today, I again spied on the webcams :) I hope I will get more time for myself but it will have to wait until A weans completely from the breast or accepts formula milk from beaker or bottle. We keep trying with very little success. Although she wanted her brother's bottle of chocolate cow milk. DS is going through a little phase of regression here, asking for a bottle in the morning when the last one he had was about 1.5 year ago ! Oh well, it won't last. Lets just hope A will take the habit but I love my bf time with her.
Cooking is done, I m going to nap on the sofa a bit, thinking I m among friends in the snug, keep on chatting, Ladies, it will be a nice surrounding noise and I will get asleep.

Oups, I did not mean your chats bore me so much that I fall asleep :) no, no, just saying sometime silence is too much, I need noise for a nap !!!

I've spent last 2 hours sitting on sofa with the most gorgeous warm snuggly baby sleeping on my chest. Can't think of a better way to spend my day. Xx

I've spent last 2 hours sitting on sofa with the most gorgeous warm snuggly baby sleeping on my chest. Can't think of a better way to spend my day. Xx

Just put heating on. :(