Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

[rosiedays]

Bbd we have an area here where dh goes shopping but I stay in rhe car! !!! It's just like the back streets of downtown Cairo. Lol
I second the Cairo museum. Have whiled away many an afternoon there.

[scarecrow22]

bbd lovely: so sorry you are cross and sad. You are wise and beautiful in spirit (and since I've met you I can reveal in aspect too ) to us. Wish I could think of wise advice. Best advice I've had is from Rosie, but might not be relevant to you....

goat hope BG is better, and midget too

I can't bear to go into too much detail about this week, but over tired mummy, massively upset (about nursery) and badly behaving dd, still v poor potty training, weaning T, moving T out of our bedroom, lack of support and ongoing problems with DH all mixed badly. I reacted v badly and made things a lot worse. As per Rosie's advice I'm trying to focus on what to do: earlier bedtimes, a bit of time to myself tomorrow, trying to keep things v familiar and calm for dd this weekend.... My big dilemma though is whether to stop nursery until half term at least. I have no doubt she will get more used to it but I think training more important, plus I can use CM a bit more if stop it, plus it is totally breaking my heart. She's only a bit more than 2 and a half and already processed a baby brother. Underneath it all is a persistent and gnawing feeling that I can't bear to go back to work again and miss even a day of their lives. Which is impractical to the point of being impossible, so silly to dwell on. But still I can't push it away Anyway, off to bed shortly for sleep, sleep, sleep.

I can't make tomorrow as its our only family day in weeks. I can do week Weds (9th), but unlikely this Weds (2nd). Let me know if it is the 9th

[scarecrow22]

In more cheerful news, DD cracked me up this morning: she was trying to move a basket of baby toys off the lid of her toy box and her cry for help was not answered IMMEDIATELY! Next thing I heard was "I have to do Everything around here"

T is adoring food: grinned like anything at "chewing" a green bean; eaten papaya, mango, pear, apple and pear, carrot, parsnip, butternut, sweet potato, fromage frais, potato, banana, and spinach apple and peas... Only not liked potato and a bit mixed on banana.

[EagleRay]

BBD your bad mood isn't visible on this thread! As for taking pics of fast-moving kids, set the shutter speed on your camera to around 1/30 or 1/40 sec (you can select shutter speed in Tv mode on the dial on your camera). Then wait for a child to run past - as they come into view, press the shutter halfway down and move the camera, keeping them in view. Then press the shutter fully, whilst still moving the camera tracking the child. With any luck, you'll have a clear photo of a child with a blurred background! Quite hard to explain how to do, and unfortunately I can't show an example as DD doesn't move that fast yet!

LRM you must be super tired after working all day! Are you on a rota or something, or will you always have to work at the weekend?

Badmiss great to hear from you and Baby Caspian. How are things with you?

Rosie I'm familiar too with the sudden growing - am shocked at how big DD seems to be all of a sudden and can't keep up with clothing her!

Goat poor little BG. DD has had a cold for bloody ages now - no idea how long they're supposed to have them for. I wonder if baby manflu lasts for longer and is more dramatic than a normal baby cold? Hope he starts having a lie-in soon to give you a rest. A few times recently, DD has woken at this time but find that after a quick feed she is reasonably happy to be put back in her cot (and I put the mobile on just in case). Are you able to get BG back to sleep or is that him up for the day?

Scarecrow so sorry you are feeling so awful. Just wondered though - is it events at home causing you to feel bad, or are you feeling a bit down anyway, and therefore not able to cope with things? I hope things have got better and sending you big hugs

Somewhere bah re your lost post - v disappointed for you! Not sure if it's any help at all, but I write posts out in textpad on my laptop and then paste in, just in case. May be possible to do this on a mobile too?

Pudding sorry your DH is finding baby care so frustrating. I found DP very defeatist and defensive in the early days with DD, but things got a lot better once he started to understand her, and when she started being more interactive. He still claims she is nearly killing him with exhaustion tho

Another settling in day at nursery yesterday - dropped her off at 9.30, watched her get comfortable on the floor with her entourage of baby friends then legged it to a nearby friend's place and put my feet up with a nice cup of coffee for an hour. Back at 11 to find her still very happy, and was told she'd had a nap!! She was put down in a hammock and dropped off almost immediately. Still not taking milk from a bottle though - will give them a sippy cup to try with on Monday.

I had the genius idea today of getting DP to take DD away for the afternoon to DFiL's house (about 40 mins away) so that I could have some time to myself for a few hours. It was amazing - cleaned the cooker, made a ton of BLW food from a recipe (thanks for the tip Somewhere), cleaned DD's room, put washing away, got out a pile of stuff to go on Ebay and ironed and photographed it, then did loads of sewing/mending jobs. DP sent me a video mid-afternoon showing DD fast asleep in DFiL's lounge, with DFiL fast asleep in his chair too (and both snoring). Then later on came a photo of DFiL hosing down DD's cloth nappy in the back garden as apparently there was a poo explosion. It was quite weird watching the 3 generations from a distance, and reminded me too that DD is as much a part of them as she is a part of me.

[rosiedays]

It took me 5 year's to get dh to take me to luxor (about 2hour drive from where we lived) i thought it was amazing dh was less impressed. But to him the Nile is just a river and he dreamed of seeing the Thames and Big Ben. (Which i took him to the day after he arrived along with the cutty sark which I didn't know wasn't really there anymore and Greenwich meridian line. The only other time he's been to London he went on his own with the car to find the Egyptain embassy when dd was 3days old! !!! I tried to tell him it was not a good idea but he wanted to go. I think he saw a lot of the city getting lost that day. :)

High 5 to Daddy lrm. Very impressed lrm. Training tips please.

Hi badmiss, they grow so fast don't they rosebud is only a week younger than Caspian. She has just started opening her hands a lot more and definitely recognises voice now as she now turns her head to see me and really follows me round the room (just with eyes of course) how's the sleeping?
pudding how's your evening's going? ?
Well dd finished feeding and dishes to do. Dh has started asking 'will you come back' when i take dd to bed as i have a habit of falling asleep. I think he wants company tonight.

[rosiedays]

Wow huge x posts will read at 12.00 feed xx

[rosiedays]

Has anyone read ' the no cry sleep solution' ?? Is it worth reading? I really didn't like baby torturer whisper and resisted the urge to graffiti the front before returning it to the library. ... It would seem i do a lot of accidental parenting which I found quite an offence term for being un routiney and baby lad some of the behavioural toddler stuff was good.

[EagleRay]

Well I've got a copy of a Gina Ford book and it's been invaluable - it's propping up the wonky leg on DD's wardrobe and without it the wardrobe would be wobbling like hell

[rosiedays]

What goes in must come out... A huge 3 day nappy extravaganza. Yay and now more boob.

Scarecrow follow your gut instinct
If you/she aren't ready yet bin it till you/ sshe are. If she's happy with cm leave her there and save yourself the heartache. Problem solved. ... Next :)

[PuddingAndHotMilk]

Scarecrow I hope your weekend is shaping up better. It's a tough job isn't it DD sounds brilliant though with her admonishment of your slow response to toy box access requests.

Rosie how's Rosebud post growth spurt? Settled back to normal?
I got the No Cry sleep solution this week. Seems reasonable so far... LOL @ Eagles use of Gina Ford

LRM your Daddy Day Care sounded fab. Do you think you could franchise it or at least offer training sessions for the less capable / confident daddies?

BBD sorry you're [blue] can we help or is it distraction you need?

Goat I hope BG is on the mend now

Eagle yay for nursery successes. Sounds like she loves it!! Stroke of genius having baby free time at home too. If only I could work out how to unscrew a boob...

Had a hideous 24 hours with BabyPud after her jabs. Temp of 38.4 last night and very tearful and clingy but getting back to normal now. Poor mite.

[rosiedays]

Mmmm not quite how it sounded in my head and happy to ask mnhq to remove if it offends... time for sleep me thinks
Xx

[PuddingAndHotMilk]

It doesn't offend me at all and does make sense ( on second read through)
I think you are onto something with us asking more than they can give and, for me at least, it's also about being clear in my requests about exactly what I'm asking for/expecting. Many of my issues with DH are around disappointment, as I didn't clearly express my expectations.

[scarecrow22]

I went to bed at half 9, T didn't wake all night for a feed, DD "slept in" til 7am and after a morning bf and family cuddle DH has taken the children downstairs to give me half an hour alone. One of these would be enough; all three are my idea of heaven (though there there would also be a fresh baked croissant and some gingere and marmalade icecream in the freezer ) Still things to sort out but this is a good start.

Rosie your post made a lot of sense too: certainly the internal logic, also as food for thought or a non Muslim partnership. (In fact when I read your first line I thought you'd had a or two and literally wanted to sort out The Middle East Problem; it then occurred to me that if women like you and your friends were in charge there might not be a Problem) I don't like,the Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus approach as I think it veers on the patronising and gives men excuses to just carry on as they are. Your description sounds more nuanced. It's like baby books: no one model has to for exactly, but we can learn from many if not all.

Talking of which, I haven't read the No Cry book; I browsed Gina and gleaned ideas about, mostly about the sort of day I might work towards as in approx need for sleep and food etc; I read the BW in parts and liked the idea of patterns rather than routines as in eat-activity-sleep and approx times babies are happy with each so I could look for signals; and so on. Then I mixed in my own experimenting and "instinct". To be honest if I had not had innately pretty easy babies I might have needed more guidance, but I was lucky. I say this not to gloat, but in appreciation and humility. As for accidental parenting, I was less offended: the way I look at it, if I do something it has consequences - so I chose not to let dd cry at 5 am and fed her; she got into a pattern and so woke at 5am for ages and is still a naturally v early riser (6am is now our average and considered good here). Sometime last year I made a different choice: I realised dh would not acquiesce to another child and I might not cope well if she woke us at 5am so I calculated that the happiness a sibling could potentially bring in life was worth some sleep training, albeit she was at least old enough that I could explain why she was being left to cry.

Sorry I've been self preoccupied this week. I don't want to describe too much but you and this thread have been lovely, like virtual balm at times. I did consider just going quiet but figured that it's not helpful to always pretend everything is fine and dandy and easy. I hope over time to get the balance right

Right, coffee, book, run and then I'll be ready to fave another week! Happy Sundays all

[rosiedays]

My apologies ladies for my incoherence ramblings last night. A bit OT i think. I

[blueblackdye]

Ladies, hope you all had a nice week end. And babies have behaved, no fever, no cold, sleeping and eating.
As for me, I have blocked nose, the cold is on me. So early night tonight.
The outing with 2 was ok, although A woke up at 8.30 so we could nt go for breakfast, so went straight to NHM where DS wanted to see three times the dinosaures and climbed up the stairs a few times, had Lebanese lunch and when heading home via Hyde Park/Green Park, we had a massive melt down. Strangely enough, A was far easier to deal with, she cried a bit because she wanted to get down for a walk, but that was it. DS was another story. So reward chart is out again...
A has 3 teeth coming out, don't know if it is the reason why she is so difficult to settle at night, shall I try Calpol ?
Oups, hearing some crying, bye for now, Ladies

[scarecrow22]

I don't give Calpol too easily but sometimes.sleep helps child and patents cope better and so justifies a judicious dose to ease the pain. Frankly I'd take paracetamol or whatever if I had tooth ache so can't justify making child suffer.
sending you lots lots of vitamin C with zinc and Echinacea, bbd

[EagleRay]

Glad you survived your outing BBD - it sounds great, apart from the meltdown! Hope your cold doesn't develop into anything too nasty.

We're in a similar position here re teeth (I think). DD has had a cold for ages now, and is very snuffly at night with a bit of a cough. The last couple of days she's had a raised temperature too and has been quite grumpy so have been giving her Calpol occasionally on the basis that she's either feeling a bit rough or is in pain. Am I right in thinking teething can cause a raised temp?

Something else we've noticed the last couple of days is a total change in attitude to food - gone is the relaxed baby who gently took the spoon off you and put whatever puree it was into her mouth. We've now got a grumpy little thing who furiously bats at or snatches the spoon to prevent it going anywhere near her. We've tried giving her more finger foods but then she gags and coughs or just chucks it on the floor (and I swear she checks the expressions on our faces as she swings her arm out sideways from the highchair, dangling food precariously before finally letting go). All in all, I'm dreading meals now as it's just a pain. I take it the right approach is to gloss over refusals, clear the food away and not try to get her to eat stuff for fear of her going hungry?

Proper day at nursery (well half day). So that's a grumpy baby with snotty nose, refusing to eat food and refusing milk from a bottle. This is going to go well, isn't it

Rosie your post made for interesting reading, and certainly got me thinking about my own situation. Nothing is likely to change, but reminded me at what my expectations are.

By the way, it's nearly the end of another thread!

[scarecrow22]

Re next thread, will it be the 4th? More importantly, wonder if better to have a title which does not sound like a sequel/continuation....perhaps that puts new people off? (Over-thinking?!)

Am up as DD had awful temperature tonight, which ended in vomiting all over our bed. All cleared up and she seems calmer but I'm now wired....

[rosiedays]

Morning ladies :)
Mondays. .. so different from this time last year! !! We had a very quiet at home weekend. Dh did not want to go anywhere so we had the family over via Skype for most of the day ( does my head in ) dh spent 4 hours on sunday on his phone to his brother and friends ( conference style) They really haven't grown up much. Lol. The hours of Arabic give me a headache , I'm really having to think to translate and find words.
Rosebud growth spurt continues but dining hours are nocturnal now. I'm shattered.
eagle love your discretions. I think I'd be the same as you. Calpol when needed (I'm pretty sure high temperature and teeth can go together also cause cold like symptoms)
My mum was always addiment that babies don't starve themselves and tbh mine survived weaning so must be something going in!!! The dog enjoyed that stage if I remember right. Would be great if you could rent one for weaning months ( im not looking forward to the mess )

Bbd your day sounds lovely (apart from meltdown) your always so busy. ... where do you get the energy. Hope the cold passes and you have a better week.

Scarecrow big congratulations for an (almost ) perfect Sunday morning. . :)

Hope everyone else had a great weekend. Xx

[somewherebecomingrain]

eagle with ds I did purée/finger food mix as you are doing.

I remember exact same pattern.

When he got into battle mode giving him a toy - or any distraction - worked like magic. Those suction ones that could go on the high chair were good.. A bunch of keys.

Anyway he's now a v fussy eater and meals are still a battle ground. Dunno if that would've happened anyway.

[scarecrow22]

dd has not lifted her head off the pillow today Poor mite.

Trying to keep T away and he went to a friend down the street for an hour and had a ball. I felt like there wad a huge gaping hole through me without him close by.

my goodness we pay for this amazing love!

[GoatBongoAnonymous]

Running in v v quickly to say hello in the midst of madness (now a hospitalised MIL who is LOVELY to add to the mix ).

Rosie I got 40 mins playing. I play weird stuff, so it was Hans von Bülow and Mel Bonis!

Scarecrow for your DD.

Eagle maybe she's off her food because of the cold? I find BG just wants milk at those times - seems to know he needs hydrating! Otherwise I am very very lucky in that I seem to be feeding a dustbin.

With all insanity happening, shall we try meeting next Wednesday, 9th?

Ooh yes, thread 4 looming!

[littleredmonkey]

Eagle. Baby monkey needs distracting most meal times under his high chair I have a basket with washable kitchen items in for him to amuse him. Coke bottle milk carton whisk slotted spoon. Works a treat.
Bhb. Hope u feel better hugs to you
Worked three full days and baby monkey has had a cold feel guilty taking him to nursery but after lunch phone call told he was fine but shattered when I got there drove him around at 5:30 so he could nap bless him. I think I had the worst weekend sleep ever feel like crap look like crap. Babies and sleep AHHHHHHH. If ya got a sleeper brillant if you dont holy double crap. He melts my heart like nothing in this world and could cuddle and shower him with kisses all day but I need some sleep longer then three hour blocks dude

[scarecrow22]

goat sorry your mil in hospital and really hope things work.out for her.

eagle, agree with goat's analysis of possible cold/imminent virus link. Or she has a tinker gene Hope she is okay.

Finally got dd's temp down below 38 thus evening. She had been so pathetically sweet, saying "sank you mummy" everything I wiped her eyes and face or gave her some juice, and "no pease" when she didn't want something (including icecream ) Thankfully T was a total poppet and so survived day well. Utterly drained so off to bed after I've finished arguing with the radio (podcast of Pinar's Politics)