Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

Rosie just checking in to see how you are coping today. Hope you having a calmer weekend.

Also wondering how BadMiss and babyBad are coping. Would lobe to hear news you are okay when you have energy.

My support network, Ripley at best of times, has fallen.apart this week: one sister's family laid.low by sick.big, taking mum with them, dad had a bad turn which after recent stroke and heart scares basin nerves him.and me, other sister had house guests and working, cm had to take a week off unexpectedly and now Dh has hurt his back and.can't even get milk.from.fridge let alone put a child down. Dad's scare has pit it all in.perspective : I'm close to.him anyhow buy only.just coming ro grips.with.him.being in his mid 70s and suddenly he feels even.more precious

sorry, typos bad even by my standards. Ropey, not Ripley!

Rosie - sending you big hugs - those first few months can be very, very hard. I think I've blocked a lot of it out now, but it was an endless round of feeding problems, wondering why she was crying and just generally feeling like shit. On top of that you have demands being placed on you by older children plus the shitty tenant problems. You are doing brilliantly well with your lovely gift and soon it will feel easier and you will get some diving in soon I'm sure. It's a lovely feeling when you start to be able to get a little bit of your life back, even if just for an hour or two...

Ozmum/Knotty - regarding finding it hard being a mum in your 40s - surely being a mum to a second baby is hard too? I've thought about this a lot and find it hard to see how you can separate these things. I've found being first time mum at 41 reasonably hard at times (well the first few months were anyway) but have no idea how I would have fared if I'd done this 10 years ago. Having said that, DSis was 30/33 when she had her children and I know that she found it similar to my experience, so not sure how much of a part age has played. I do think a second baby may kill me though

I would have had a baby sooner if I hadn't been single for so long and would still be childless now if I had waited for DP to make up his mind properly

Well done Ozmum on your 5:2 start. I managed to do the Shred this morning but feel like I've been on level 2 forever.

Weight is at a bit of a standstill at the mo due to having a guest in the house - have been buying extra food and making an effort with meals and including desserts so calorie intake has gone up...

Weaning going well - she had aubergine, chickpea and spinach curry last night with a naan finger! Went down very well - just as well as made enough for 5 more meals.

ozmum, sounds like the 5:2 is working for you! Scarecrow, so sorry about all your family troubles, especially your Dad. I know what you mean about them getting more precious - mine are in their mid 70s and there's a real difference between what they could manage 9 years ago when DS was a baby, and now with Rosa. They love having her, but I don't think they could cope overnight, although they do have her for a full day occasionally might be a different story once she's mobile. Eagle, glad the weaning is going so well - Rosa loves a dhal so I bought some naan for her today after I saw your post!

Was in the middle of doing my Jillian DVD this morning and Rosa had been quiet (napping in her room) for a few mins, and she suddenly starting crying hysterically which she never does. I went up and she was covered in sick! Not sure why, she wolfed down her lunch and really enjoyed her risotto at tea time as well - just one of those things I guess! After giving her a quick wash and changing her bedding, she went back off to sleep and I resumed my Jillianing!

I love this moment of peace when A is feeding, with her eyes stuck into mine and her little fat hand lies on my chest, I love the sight of her chubby cheek, her perfect ear, her round head covered with lots of dark brown hair. Of course I can only have one side right now but in 15 min, when I chande side, I will have the other and it will be just as lovely.
Who said I m in love with her ? :) just truly and madly. Even when she has fallen asleep and reminds me she now has teeth.... Oups, that hurts !

I was thinking today about our new life with baby. Apart from the fact that we are now responsible for another human being (which is a bit scary), our priorities have only shifted but it does not mean we won't go back to what they were. It is maybe a more difficult task because when we/our children are/feel ready we would approach half a century (that is even a more frightening thought!). But I am determined to keep one foot in the active working life to preserve myself from depression when these lovely kids will ask me to drop them not in front of the school but at the corner of the street and forget to kiss goodbye and won't say I love you Mum before closing their eyes for the night.

This parenting job is a total joke. We will spend 20 years of our life to teach our children how to be independent and leave us. I forgot that bit when I said I wanted children !!!! All of a sudden, I understand what the 3 little pigs is about. Our role as a parent is to prepare our offspring to face the world and its dangers AND get on with our life. I have to remember the second part. Omg, I have to start training myself not to aim to be a perfect Mum (which I am not anyway) and not to expect too much in return.

Sorry Scarecrow ended my last post a bit abruptly as DD was shrieking to be picked up from the jumperoo. I meant to say sorry things are so tough for you at the moment, particularly with your Dad's health problems. Sounds like you've had particularly bad luck with the childminder and DH's back problems all at the same time. It can be such a delicate house of cards when you've got kids. Hope you get some more help and support soon; meanwhile hope you manage to tread water ok.

Knotty loving Jillianing as a verb - did you ever see this by the way?

BBD I feel that love too for Baby E, although couldn't have worded it as well as you!

Hi all
Things getting much better with rose petal. She's feeding wonderfully again. bbd you are spot on with your lovely discrimination of those precious feeding moments. The world could collapse around us but while baby is feeding nothing matters but her.

Interesting chat about our later in life babies, having had my first 2 in my late teens/ early 20s the big difference i feel is that with the other 2 I new they wouldbe ggrown up by my mid 30 giving me lots of time to fulfil other life dreams. I will be 60 before little rose is independent! i did have more energy but now I have more patients and understanding of how precious special moments are. I'm very glad i made the most of the child free years i had and know i can give baby rose so much more.
Hats off to those coping with more than one. Really don't think I could.

Scarecrow sorry to hear about your troubles. .
Those on the 5.2 I always found the Ramadan diet worked wonderfully lol. Thankfully I didn't have to do it this year. 1 month of fasting for 12 hours a day really retrained my eating habits and hunger never really bothered me for months after. Good luck. X.
More squawking

eagleray you are right, having a second one doesn't just double the amount of work. it seems that it more than doubles it i was v lucky to have the option of having night nurse and cleaner help for the first 3 months.

about 5:2 will do another fast day tomorrow.

bbd it is wonderful you are savouring these early weeks and months. they go by too fast! with DS1 i was always looking out for the next milestone. with DS2, i slowed right down and enjoyed every moment, well, most moments lol. as a result, i am more chilled out!

I once read that having a child means that you have put out part of your heart out there. that is how i feel about my kids. i can't imagine them being grown up and moving out but looks like these days more kids are staying home for longer cos of expensive housing! DS1 is 9 years old! where has the time gone??

on a different matter - anyone mad about cricket? i am and am staying up all hours watching the ashes! i really should be in bed considering i have got an awful cold!

rosie about fasting - sounds like regular fasting can't be that bad! i think it gives the body time to relax a little. and for the stomach to shrink down? i really need to lose this weight as summer will be here in a couple of months - and we go to the beach heaps.

apologies for grudgingly self absorbed last post. I kind of blurged because had been struggling and felt everyone I wanted to talk to wasn't available but could not complain in RL! Anyway I do realise how appalling it sounded . Thanks too for undeserved sympathy!

ozmum loving your posts. Si glad you joined us. Am Bégin.G to consider 5:2 but stull more focused on my running , which I love again. If I stopped eating chocolate sure would shift it!

that should say "appallingly" self absorbed. I really do bot like this phone

A lovely quite day. Feels like the world is at peace. I have finally managed to get dh to learn how to settle a baby. He kind of held her at arms length before and would hand her over when she cried saying ' she needs feeding' both are currently sleeping on the sofa. Bless. Baby on daddy's chest.

ozmum Ramadan is all about cleansing and healing. The fasting helps focusing the mind. Tbh I missed doing it this year. I always felt great by Eid and it gave a great sense of achievement.

scarecrow you told me to moan as much as i needed on here. It's a safe place to vent. Vent away.

Hi. Fabulous mummies. Firstly sorry for slipping off the expecting thread - I kept losing it and felt pretty grotty the couple of days before I went into labour!
DD was born on Sunday 28th at 2:52am after a pretty torrid 46 hour labour. We're doing ok but struggling with Bf a little and hormones/ emotions a lot but getting there..

Rosie - congrats!! Hope you're feeling better after last weekend. It's hard to strike a balance of seeing ppl and resting isn't it? Hope your eldest (?) is calming down too now

Hopefully I'll keep up with this thread better.

Rosie you have done a brilliant job with your DH. My dd is 2y7m and ice still not reached that milestone!

Welcome Remembering - I seem to remember you were one of the diving crowd that joined us in the mums to be cafe shortly before my DS was born. I have DD (above) and DS (usually referred to as T) was 4mo yesterday. He is the best natured most sociable happy little chap Even when he is having frozen peas put in his mouth, Meccano built over his head, being bandaged in wet wipes or having his, er, boyhood enthusiastically washed in the bath by a toddler

Hi Scarecrow, thanks. Yes, that was me! A 2y7m and a 4mo sounds a handful, great that your LO is so relaxed I'm hoping DD will be chilled out, she's started off ok I think...

Rosie when are you Egypt bound? We're going out at the start of November Very excited and somewhat nervous at the prospect of 2 weeks away with her but I can't wait to get back in the water...

Hello Remembering - glad you found us and congratulations! BF can be the hardest thing but it usually gets easier over time. Having said that, it's fine to switch to FF if it gets too much. Take it easy as it's very early days and labour is quite a big deal physically and emotionally.

Scarecrow - bless your DD with her enthusiastic caring way (all on her own terms, just as toddlers should be)

Rosie - I'm very familiar with that arms-length holding as it's exactly what DP would do in the early days, along with a very pained expression on his face, as if the sound of a baby crying was making his ears bleed. He was also obsessed with her apparent hunger, but eventually came to realise in time that often she wanted to sleep, and thankfully he is now the master when it comes to rocking her to sleep.

Today is weigh-in day and I've reached a milestone with my weight - somehow (despite all the extra food in the house due to homestay catering), I've ditched another kg this week which brings my total lost since Easter (when I started consciously trying to lose weight) to 20lb! Got another 20lb to go (as DP helpfully pointed out, the shit) but am pleased with my progress so far. And also managed to get on some pre-preg trousers today for the first time - my old wardrobe is coming back gradually

BBD, I totally understand about the realisation that we are preparing our children for independence, from the word go really! The last 9 years with DS have flown by, and he's already walking to his friend's house on his own (only a few doors away), making his own breakfast and seems so grown up sometimes, yet still very much a little boy, my little boy . The same will happen with Rosa, much as I struggle to picture it at the moment.
Eagle, I'm probably being thick but who's Anita?? And well done on the weight loss - 20lbs is amazing!
Rosie, you are bang on about being more patient and aware of living in the moment more! But actually my energy levels are probably better now then when DS was a baby - I was 2 stone heavier and quite unfit, plus had an undiagnosed underactive thyroid which is now sorted. Glad you've had such a lovely day .
ozmum, yup, where does the time go? Love
Scarecrow, vent away my love, you're not in the least bit self-absorbed! Anytime you need to offload, and can't/don't want to in RL, this is the place. I love the images of your DS is those various situations!
Remembering, I don't think I've "met" you before, but congratulations on your DD! I really struggled with BF both of my DCs, managed a couple of months with DS (now 9) but changed to FF after a few horrific days with DD (8 months). Personally, the best decision I made but I know there is amazing support on here and lots of people get through the really tough part and go on to BF for as long as they want to. Good luck!
DD has just woken up and is having a little natter to herself upstairs. Going over to my sister's later, as she's conducting the naming ceremony for us next Sunday and we need to finalise what we're doing - plus she's made 2 cakes so win win! Hope you're all having lovely weekends!

Just running in to say I'm still lurking and have a new phone, which means MNing can resume! Baby kk has decided to start doing early wakings and more night wakings so running on empty sleep tanks at the moment. Could be a teething thing or 4 month regression thing - either way on about 5 strong cups of coffee morning time. My 'helpful' MIL has suggested giving him cooled boiled water 'he'll soon stop waking if there's nothing to wake for'

Would tell her to bugger off but am too polite!

Am going to have a good read of the thread and catch up!

Baby finally sleeping. She's only 10 min napped since 4am. My nipples hurt! !!! ! And the washing is done. Berskfastt and nice coffee made made. Back in bed.

Hi remembering :) glad your here. Often wondered how you were doing. Ooh labour sounds tough :( re feeding problems. remembering wrote me a awesome post last week try to find it. She summarised all the baby books into 4 paragraphs! Made me see that my feeding problems might not all beabout the feeding. Settling baby rose to sleep rather than always trying to feed her Has been a revelation

The beach was also a great motivation tool. When it gottough IiI would visuals being on eel garden or the light home feeding her. Can't wait to feed her there for real. :). Hope its getting better. Also push for referral to bf consult. I'm going on wed. I think we're in the sa me trust as me

knotty - follow Anita if you are a bit rubbish/unfit. Follow Natalie if you're super-fit! They're the ladies stood either side of Jillian!

Oh Eagle , told you I was being thick! Brilliant!

scarecrow i agree with the other ladies that this is the place to vent! so vent away

rosie oh we had a couple of very good holidays in egypt. first in hurghada for diving and then charm when DS1 was 6 months old! totally different kind of holidays! when do you go? and where?

knotty thanks for the link and what a beautiful song .