Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

[blueblackdye]

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

knickyknocks hi just want to say that my DS1 started waking up for the 4am feed which he dropped at around 12 weeks of age. i gave him cooled boiled water and after a couple of nights, he slept right through!

goodnight ladies it is well past my bedtime here down under and it is a school day tomorrow. so back to early morning start.

hope you are all having a good sunday!

Nice to meet you knotty. I'm hoping to stick with the bf. it's hard but not impossible...

rosie going to go to bf support group and if nothing improves then will push for consultant. Think most of it is flat nips and engorged boobs (too big in the first place, scared ill suffocate the poor child...)
Dreaming of feeding on the eel garden, will be bliss

eagle good luck with the weight loss

DH goes back to work tomorrow and I'm bricking it... He's great at settling her, cuddles with me means milky smells and snack feeding - soooo tiring! I may get the moby wrap out and see if I can tie it, see if that helps...?

Remembering, congratulations and welcome !
Rosie, BF is great when it works for you and baby, try as much as you can but FF is not shameful. How baby feeds does not matter, the most important is that you and baby are happy with it. DS had breast and formula, DD has only breast because she refused the bottle but tbh, my life would have been easier sometimes if she had taken the bottle from time to time. But she is now 1, it is too late !
Scarecrow, yes our parents are more precious than ever and it is hard to see them more fragile. How is DH's back today ? How did you cope without CM nor DH's help ?
Midget, is Lisbon lovely ? Enjoy
Wave to BadMiss, Chair, MrsW, KK, Knotty, Eagle, Goat, Seaside, Oz, Somewhere, lotsofcheese, LRM and every one else

I'm just popping to say hello, we have 2 weeks left in Paris and all my friends want to visit again before I disappear for another 6months or a year.... Well, London is not that far but I understand they don't want to spend a week end with a baby and a toddler.... :) anyway, very busy entertaining today

I love remembering user name. I am now doing PFE as I type. Portugal is lovely. Except DD has chosen the attic room and now I can't rest worrying about her falling down the ladder. Must have been crazy to let her go up there but now too late to move her. Stupid midget mother.

Hi Midget lovely to hear from you and glad the holiday is good. I'm sure your DD will be fine up in the attic, but understand the niggling worry.

BBD wow back in London soon! I will come to London for the day soon and hopefully a few of us can meet up. It's quite a long way for me, but will make a nice day trip.

Remembering good luck for tomorrow with DH going to work. I remember those early days so well (DP is away for several days at a time due to location of his job) and I was v worried but it was mostly fine. Think it's kind of easier when you are just left to find your own routine. I've got a couple of bits of info that may help you - one is I have a wonderful document showing how to tie a stretchy wrap, which was written by the local sling consultant - v easy to follow with lots of pics. Second thing is some info about a lactation consultant... Oh, and if you find a Moby hot in this weather, then bear in mind you can get stretchy wraps made of more breathable fabrics such as bamboo (I've got a Hana) which is v comfy when it's hot and one has raging post-birth hormones

Went to a car boot sale this morning with a mental shopping list of things I wanted to get for DD - and managed to find everything plus a few more bits and bobs too! Got a paddling pool, baby swim ring, v nice sling, traditional wooden abacus, wooding building block set, fabric sling for attaching to dining chair in restaurants, sun hat and nice skirt for myself! And all with change from £20

hooray Knicky is back!

Lots.of lovely posts after a bust day of not checking MN. Worried.I am a bit addicted!

Tired and still not packed for return to France tomorrow to finish the holiday we abandoned due to heat. Going to visit friends south of Tours for a few days. Hugely looking forward to being there but need to pack for 3, post eBay parcels, arrange for plant watering, put out bins and a dozen other mundanities. So I'd better abes then

Great shop Eagle. I.more prosaically did my bi annual M&S knicker and sock binge since still to lardy to fit any nice holiday clothes. One of life's luxuries!

rosie I agree with bbd if bf doesn't work then you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Main thing is that your baby had the colostrum - the first mill before your milk came in.

scare sounds like u have loads to do! Have a good holiday!

remebering I remember when DH went back to work after DS1 was born I was a total mess! So worried he would get run over by a truck or something like that and I would be left alone with a newborn baby! Sending you lots of hugs.

eagle sound like you had a good shop at car boot sale!
Amazing how expensive things are at the shop.

Best go do a quick grocery shop and head for home. Lotsa chores awaits!

Thanks for the welcomes. midget happy to help with reminders
Eagle all info gladly received
ozmum I thought it was just me that worried about crazy things like that...
My biggest problem is I'm REALLY hard on myself if everything isn't perfect and I need to learn a little self compassion and soon. This parenting lark is a great lesson in self awareness, hey?!

Eagle - that's a great haul. I need to do the same myself. Want a ride on car for DS and a few other toddler bits now he is more mobile . Can only post replies one at a time as sleep deprived and on my phone.

Remember - aiming for perfection with a baby is a recipe for disaster. Cease and desist immediately for your own sanity.

In other holiday news there is a cockerel. And DD survived the attic.

Scarecrow, another trip to France ! wish you a great time near Tours. happy packing. I m packing too but to go back to London.
Eagleray, welldone on the shopping ! it would be lovely to meet up and baby Eagle and other mums and babies. I will be free on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays, well until 2.15pm because of school run at 3pm
Remembering, I m afraid I second Midget on perfection, I used to be like that and learnt to be more relax with 1st baby and then even more with 2nd baby. It doesn't mean living in a dump but well if toys are not put away immediately after they are used, well as long as they are at their place at the end of the day, it is good enough. Being on top of everything is a distant memory !
Midget, a cockerel, what a nightmare, my Mum's neighbour had one last year, I m sure one of our neighbours has transformed it into a coq au vin after 2 weeks ! Hope you get some sleep and rest.

So pleased DD survived the night in the attic Midget at the coq (au vin). Where I live, urban chicken keeping is v popular although a fox swept through a few weeks ago and killed every single one - v sad.

There has been more bargain finds - have been busy on ebay as well! Got some lovely clothes for myself and DP and also finally managed to get a bike trailer!! It was v v cheap and is a little-known brand but actually identical to a more expensive brand that we had been trying to buy. It's absolutely massive so DD has her own little caravan for bike rides now. And there's enough space to pack stuff for an overnight stay

Remembering - it's really tough if you are a perfectionist as babies don't really lend themselves to that. I'm naturally a bit untidy and have a v tall house so things do end up being a bit chaotic. However, I've managed to implement some basic systems which mostly work - in the hallway I have a giant basket into which I throw everything related to going out - blankets, slings, muslins, bodywarmer, jacket, cardis, etc. In the lounge there's another giant basket for toys - every so often I have a bit round-up and chuck them all back in. There's a similar basket in the basement as lots of toys accumulate down there too. In DD's room I have a huge changing table and in it there's a basket for all her medicine-related stuff and dummies. Finally, in the kitchen there's a big plastic box for all the sterilising-related stuff - breast pump bits, bottles, syringes etc. Anything that's found anywhere gets chucked into the relevant box, which means everything can be easily found, even in the middle of the night when DP is panicking about DD screaming.

Sorry if the above sounds like obvious nonsense - it's not a sophisticated system by any means but it does mean a tidy-up takes a couple of minutes and 95% of baby things can be found almost immediately. Other than that, if you and the baby are still alive at the end of each day, then give yourself a big pat on the back

wow this thread moves fast!! posting yesterday somewhat interrupted by baby sleeping in 10min slots.... I swear she can sense when I make a cup of tea or something to eat or just sit down... bless her.
midgitm holiday sounds wonderful.
scarecrow bon voyage!!! hope you have a safe stress free trip.

Our Egyptian adventure is 'on hold' for now!!! (i'm devastated) the plans that were being made by DH and his family were REALLY not conducive to travelling with a 6 week old baby!!! first leg of journey would have been min 22hours traveling... train (2 hrs)- plane+ airport (8 hours)- Egyptian bus (10 hours) - car ( 2 hours). I just said NO WAY!. DM has decided to have whole flat redecorated and its currently unfit to stay in. it had been arranged that we would all stay with his sister!!! she's ok BUT she's been TTC for 2 years and is obsessed with babies. she wants to try BF MY BABY!!!! WTF. also said she is really looking forward to taking baby rose to get her ears pierced... Over my dead body!! a few other strange cultural issues have also arisen. it will happen just not going to commit to booking until i'm happy that baby and I will survive.... oh wish we could just go to Dahab and enjoy but Family need to be accommodated!
the Tenant issue is also worrying as i'm having to use the 'holiday fund' to pay the mortgage and cover solicitors fees.... its going to be expensive. (and the fucking freeloading basterds know how to play the system)

remembering my trick for reaching perfection is.... AIM LOW!!! if baby is fed, washed and cuddled lots, perfection achieved. :) i'm sure you'll be fine.

eagleray great shopping!

remembering i was really really hard on myself with DS1. If i swaddled him and he manages to "escape", ie, one hand out etc, i would mentally say how hopeless i am that i can't even do a good swaddle! needless to say, that kind of thinking was partly to blame for getting PND. so i totally agree with what leagle and rosie said. i was more easy on myself with second baby.

FWIW, my DS1 is more uptight and less flexible than DS2 so i wonder it is because i had such a fixed schedule cos i wanted everything in place hah, not going to go down that road - ie blaming self

rosie sorry to hear your egyptian holidays is on hold for now. i agree that the travel plans will be too much for a lil baby! and oh your SIL wanting to BF your baby ?!?

yes ear piercing at such young age as you said it is due to cultural differences!

really sorry to hear about your tenant problems! they are awful people.

oh on the topic of being a "perfectionist", with DS1, i kept a daily diary. i would write down time of feeding and how much milk taken in minutes or in volume (for formula or expressed milk). and also nappy changes - whether it be wee or poo. and how much time spent sleeping or playing.

thing is i got obsessed with making sure he ate the same amount every time and if he didn't i would get upset! then my bro said to me that my DS1 is not a robot and cannot be expected to eat the same amount every time

ah those stressful days! i have learnt so much since those early days! lol

midget the cockrel Is almost sacred - one of the founding legends of Portugal, the Gallo de Barcelos.
. bbd to the coq au vin. I keep smiling about.it

eagle lobe your systems! Might seek out some lovely baskets in the brocants in France. Your house sounds gorgeous.

O. M. G. gave dd New colouring pad and a handful of felt tips (more.alert.mothers will spot the flaw in my plan already) while finished packing. 15 mins later DD, her new tip and white leggings, her hands, the sofa, the bathroom floor and the stair carpet have all been coloured in. Result 30 mins late leaving.for ferry, amidst two crying children and two half fraught half hysterical parents! I swear babies are a quarter of the work (sorry first time mums if this does not cheer you up!!)

Yes Rosie I remember these days well, putting baby down, started washing my hair, the second I had shampoo all over, DS would start waking up ! A has the shortest nap ever heard of, 45min, once a day, twice if I m lucky ! But one cute smile from them and it is all forgotten and our memory will make all these moments fade away...
I m only half surprised by your inlaws, cultural shock it is, I face it every day, with my Mum being traditional SE Asian, me living abroad in the UK and my French friends. Ear piercing is done in Asia almost before baby goes out of hospital, I think it is the same in Mexico and aristocrates used to have wet nurses. Life is full of surprises !
Oh dear Scarecrow, poor you, what a terrible way of leaving for hols... Hope your trip will be stress free.
Eagleray, I have never bought or sold anything on eBay but from what you report, I should go and have a look. I have lots of baby girls cute outfits to get rid of and also toddler boys gorgeous stuff not to mention toys, French books.... of all sorts.

Baby A has been practicing her walking these last days a lot, she has 2 yellow bumps on each side of her forehead (bad Mummy), we bought the first prewalker shoes over the week end. But what she loves most is climbing up the stairs. If I carry her going up, she would protest and try everything to escape and would give me the nicest and brightest smile as soon as she is free to go up by herself.
When her brother comes back on Friday, he will be surprised to see her walking a couple of meters on her own. But she is not of course a confident walker yet, she still goes down on her bottom when she wants to get somewhere fast.
Wonder in which room she will be joining at nursery. Babies room start at 3mo, but I doubt they would keep walking 12 mo with non mobile babies.
That makes me realise that she will start nursey in exactly 2 weeks. Already. I am so not ready...

Just popping in for a quick hello. Hope you're all doing ok, my lovelies. Sorry I haven't been in touch much. Been finding things a bit tough. Baby FF's sleep has been awful - v badly affected by milk allergy and intensive teething (he only has 4 more left to come through!!). Anyway, have managed to get on top of those probs a bit better now, so might be able to keep up with you better.

BBD thank you so much for remembering his birthday. We had a lovely family day and then quite a bit party for lots of babies and grown ups. He is growing up fast. Walking is now pretty confident, progressing to running and climbing. I can barely keep up with him. He has the most beautiful smile and a wonderful giggle.

Me, I am feeling fat. I have overdone the indulgent sweet eating and look really preggers. I am trying to do something about it by eating better. I have also been a bit shocked into taking a bit better care of my appearance as people are almost guessing how old I am, but not quite getting there...!!! Someone said she thought I must be 41/42 and I usually get mistaken for mid 30s, so I'd better slap on more moisturiser. What's Astalift like??!! I have found a genius hairdresser to sort out the grey roots. I thought it blended quite nicely with the blond, then I had a look at some recent photos and realised the white haze around my face is not a good look.

Oopsie, rambling a bit about me.... Sorry. Just a bit more, then I'll go and only come back when I can join in a bit more. Blx, am 44 on Thursday....

Hello all sorry not been on here much recently - busy with getting ready for hols in Cornwall, 4am start tomorrow, v excited. Weather gonna be not tremendous oh well. Also various other things including an eBay obsession. Hugs to all xx

Hello FF!! Lovely to see you back, and sorry you've been having such a rough time with Baby FF - it sounds like the smiling and laughter is making up for the lost sleep though. I really sympathise with the self image stuff - I'm sure you look far lovelier than you think, but I know from personal experience how difficult it is to have time to look after yourself. I had to go to a wedding do a couple of weeks ago and it was a real shock having to attend to hair, make-up, legs etc. And then I realised at the 11th hour that none of my bloody clothes fitted (well only the stretchy/maternity stuff that I wear during the day).

Oh, and how are things going with selling the overseas property?

Somewhere hope you have a wonderful time in Cornwall. Want to hear more about your ebaying when you get back!

BBD it must be so hard when little ones become mobile and little bruises will be inevitable. My mum always reminds me of how stubborn and independent I was as a child, and I can remember aged 2 being on board a ship and about to go down to the lower deck. I refused to take my mum's hand as wanted to go down the steps myself, but the boat lurched and fell down the stairs headfirst (and they were made of metal!). I still have the scar on my head but there doesn't seem to be any lasting damage. Anyway, as DM says with glee now 'you have all this coming to you now'...

Scarecrow my house is a shit tip, but it would be lovely if I didn't live there My system mostly works, but it's a constant battle against stuff mounting up. And I realised at the weekend what I'm up against - had a bit of a blitz prior to our student coming to stay but keep coming across objects that I swear I put in the bin. And then my super-hoarding DP 'fessed up...

Yikes re the felt tips! Your poor house and furnishings. I will make mental note re felt tips for the toddler phase. I take it you've seen www.shitmykidsruined.com/? I think felt tips feature in more than half the postings...

Ozmum your daily diary sounds like the app on my phone, which I still use for feeding, nappies and any weigh-ins. It was really useful in the early days when there were feeding/weight problems and the feeding regime was really intense, but it's no longer necessary and yet I just cannot stop. I think part of it comes down to my love of data and graphs (it's what I do for a living) - it keeps me happy anyway.

Rosie gosh your Egypt trip would have been very arduous. I'm too at the SIL! I hope you get your shitty tenant issue resolved soon - a friend of mine had this happen to her not long after her baby was born and it's still going on at the moment (damage done to her house while she rented it out)

Today has been a mixture of highs and lows - feeling v lethargic at the moment and struggling to get motivated to do anything. Decided I would get the boot sale paddling pool inflated and filled but it's got a bloody hole in it. On the other hand, DD had her earliest bedtime yet this eve at 8pm and self-settled! Weaning still going well, but seems to be graduating from frozen mush with spoon towards handing her whatever's on my plate. I think tomorrow I'll buy some new foods for her to try.

Good night all

Remembering, how has the week been so far with DH back at work?
BBD, hope you had a good time seeing all your friends. And what a lovely description of A's walking . Bet you can't wait to see your DS on Friday!
Eagle, great haul at the boot fair, but what a shame about the paddling pool . I'm similar to you in term of "tidying", i.e. have a load of boxes that things get chucked into but the house still resembles a Lego shop. And great news about the bedtime!
Scarecrow, enjoy France. Hope you got off OK in the end after the felt tip incident.
Rosie, I don't blame you for postponing your trip, sounds like a nightmare. And WTF with your SIL wanting to BF your baby??? Also sorry about your tenant issues - DP is a private landlord so we're well versed in nightmare tenants, I feel your pain.
Ozmum, I totally agree about being more relaxed with a 2nd child. I'm a routine fan (do sort of Gina Ford lite ). Worked really well with DS but I used to panic if we had a day where it went a bit wrong. Doing the same with DD but I don't worry about it so much, and we take her out of the routine for days out etc. much more. I find as long as she's at home for her main nap most days, the rest still falls into place.
1000FF, hope baby FF's sleep improves soon - he sounds adorable though . Totally agree with Eagle about self image - we've got DD's naming day on Sunday and I keep trying my pre-pregnancy dress on that I want to wear for it, and standing in front of DP saying "are you sure I don't look like a stuffed sausage in this?" whilst seeing the flashes of panic cross his face as he tries to work out the correct response .
AFM, had a lovely day at my sister's on Sunday, and DD loved playing with my great niece (she's 1). DD is trying to get up onto her knees to crawl but not there yet. Whilst it's lovely to see her progress, I'm in no hurry to have her being mobile, as the house is nowhere near baby proofed! She has loved having DS here more and he gets real belly laughs from her, and keeps cuddling her, telling her he loves her and calls her his "gorge" . She is loving her food, polished off scrambled egg with garlic, tomato, cheese and a little ham for lunch yesterday, then plaice goujons with sweet potato for tea, followed by a bit of homemade cherry pie bad mother. She's getting there with her pincer grip and is so pleased with herself when she gets something small in her mouth!

Sorry for mammoth post .