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Parenting

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Original poster

what the hell do i do with a baby who won't be put down

37 replies

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 10:05

and hates the sling?

DD is 10 weeks and currently screaming the place down whenever i put her down, she will do this until she gets picked up.

i don't like leaving her screaming fir more than 15 minutes as she gets into such a state, she will only sleep in me and wakes the second i move and she hates the sling just pushes herself away from me.

i have a 6 year old who needs me too and stuff to do in the house but can't get anything done!

What the hell an i supposed to do with her its really wearing me down!

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MzPixielated · 16/05/2013 10:11

Not much help but first thing you do is put her down somewhere safe and have a . Give yourself ten minutes to wind down without her clinging to you and screaming in your ear will make finding a solution easier. Not that you sound particularly distressed but calm mummy means calmer baby.

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 10:15

I have got one of these. He is 4 months now.

Tbh 15 minutes sounds like quite a long time to be upset. I think you just have to kind of suck it up till she gets past this stage.

often it is just wind and they have good days/hours and bad days/hours.

I know it feels shit not to be able to get anything done. But it doesn't last for long x

RoganJosh · 16/05/2013 14:24

Is it worth trying a different sling?

I still have to get pretty much everything fine in ten mins here and there or the evening, and the baby is 14 months old. I've massively lowered my standards and really think ahead so I can do things in advance or in dribs and drabs.

I wouldn't expect a clear fifteen mins to do stuff. I end up doing a couple of mins of folding laundry here and there when I can.

Also have a 3&4 yr old so I understand that you can't focus on the baby all the time. I do dinner when I can, down to putting veg in pan, throughout the day. I do a lot one handed. Still. Hopefully your phase will be shorter.

I also have been reading a book called something like What mothers do, really reinforced that my job is to 'mother' even though it feels like I'm not getting anything done.

Can you have a half hour whip round once your elder child is in bed? Is your OH home then?

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RoganJosh · 16/05/2013 14:24

Have to get everything done, not fine!

Rockchick1984 · 16/05/2013 14:29

What sort of sling are you using, and what are you doing once she is in there? You may find that you need to get her used to the sling, so put her in then go for a walk - the movement is incredibly soothing and I've yet to meet a baby IRL who doesn't like being in at least one type of sling :)

Original poster

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 15:08

okay so have had a bit of time to eat lunch and sort head out whilst DD sleeps in her swing, which is a first :o

Rooney and Rogan thank you, so glad I'm not the only one!

I think part of why I'm getting so stressed about (disclaimer: i know this sounds petty) is because almost every single member of our families pretty much said from the minute she was born she was going to be clingy because she's breastfed (i didn't know anyone IRL who had until i started going to when I was PG) and now all I'm getting is basically i told you so but in a less direct way i.e my mum telling DD she was glad she didn't have to be attached to us 24/7 because we were happy with a bottle a babies

I guess i feel kind of like we're proving then right and its always going to be painted as a negative thing. I realise that sounds pathetic

Poor DP comes in from work and does some housework too whilst I'm feeding or whatever and i feel like I'm falling behind there too.

But heyho dinners in the slow cooker and there's a washing on the line so that's a start lol

Rockchick i have a Smith Firm wrap but I've tried to use it around the house and ventured to the park with DS and she just screamed (maybe my dodgy wrapping though as I've only done it twice. i put her in a generic carrier thing earlier it if desperation whilst i hung out washing but she screamed then too. I'm on the list to borrow a Connecta and Manduca from my local sling library so who knows.

She dies like the pram though but the bugger broke yesterday so we're waiting on a new one.

Sorry I've just vented fir ages.

OP posts:

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 16/05/2013 15:14

Agree, try another sling, I use a beco, but there are other good makes, such as ergo.

Also, my Velcro baby loved his babysitter balance chair which is expensive but so worth it.

Sympathies, it's hugely hard work. It will get better. 15 mins is a long time to scream regularly, these babies just need to be held, so agree with above that to some extent you do have to suck it up!

Lottapianos · 16/05/2013 15:16

Poor you OP. Please ignore the unhelpful breastfeeding comments- some people just love to play 'I told you so' even if they are talking out of their arses. It's not what you need right now so I hope they shut up. There is nothing wrong with breastfeeding so I hope you can see this as their issue and not yours

HPsauceonbaconbuttiesmmm · 16/05/2013 15:19

Xpost. Just to reassure you, DS was bf and was velcroed from day 1. DD is 3 weeks old, also ebf, and not clingy in the same way at all! It's really not the bf. Really not.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 16/05/2013 15:19

Probably not super helpful but D's was like this so - I just didn't put him down! If I couldn't handle it (crying etc) I put him in his cot and shut the door for 5 mins to clear my head.
Babies are meant to be clingy! DS never had a nap anywhere but on me/DP until he was at least one.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 16/05/2013 15:21

I didn't do any housework really for the first year though!

Loveleopardprint · 16/05/2013 15:22

I had screaming colicky baby like this who was bottle fed. The only respite was when she was in her graco rocking chair. It had a big swing motion and she liked that. (10 yrs ago) so don't know what available now. She is lovely at 13 though if that helps.

Original poster

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 15:22

Oh can i just point out i don't regularly leave her to cry for 15 minutes, i meant it as in if i need to go for a shower/get ready/hang washing etc then she will scream the whole time until I'm back so its like i have less than that to do anything if that makes sense.

I'd feel horrible if i left her in the state she gets in!

OP posts:

Rockchick1984 · 16/05/2013 15:49

Did you get any help from the sling library with how to wrap her? I tried to learn from YouTube but there's really no substitute for being taught by someone experienced, at least for the first few carries you learn.

Is she ok when being held, not unsettled or anything? The only other place my DS was completely happy was in a vibrating bouncy chair - I used to take it from room to room so that I could put him down whenever I needed to :)

Nevercan · 16/05/2013 16:29

Mine loved the rucksack carrier on my back. I would put her I there just to get a few things done

Panzee · 16/05/2013 16:39

I have a similar baby in the daytime, and he is bottle fed so that has nothing to do with it (which you know but I thought I'd try to help!) the problem with my sling is that it's not his preferred sleeping position (on my shoulder or nuzzled into my neck) I keep trying a nicer version of pick up/ put down which occasionally works for half an hour or so. So no advice but masses of sympathy. :)

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2013 16:42

Get one of these. DS1 is 14 now and they weren't that posh in 1999. He and DS2 loved it.

There are different speeds. Number 3 was a bit 'pirate boat' but number 2 was perfect.

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 16:46

Totally understand. I have a supportive family wrt BF so was way luckier in that sense or I'd have crumbled I think.

FWIW tell them to get knotted. ! (in your head anyway) I had an averagely tricky baby, who is now 9, and was BF till 16 months, and then a bloody easy baby who is now 5 and I breastfed him till he was at school. He cried twice in the first 6 months, I shit you not.

Now I have got another screecher
It's not the breastfeeding!!!!

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 17:09

Sparkling, we've got the fisher price version and I swear it's the only place he will sleep in the day. I'm not sure how great it is for his back etc at this age but it's that or no sleep! Brilliant invention, the baby swing.

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2013 17:11

I bet it puts my Graco 1999 version to shame Rooney. IIRC the one seat setting was laid fairly flat. I had to turn the tinkly tunes off. It was money well spent and has been round everyone that has had a baby since.

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 17:33

yunno, we got one for ds2 years ago and barely used it - but this time it's been a HIT

onlything is it takes up most of the living room. I am countingthe weeks till the swing part is no longer suitable and we can just use it as a chair!!

Sparklingbrook · 16/05/2013 17:49

Oh yes I forgot how large it was. Still worth it though. What tunes do the new fangled ones play Rooney?

Original poster

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 18:42

we have a Fisher price take along swing (tenner second hand, prized posession) and she slept in there today for about 2 hours!

Again i do worry about her back but we have a lay flat pram and don't drive so she us literally lying down the rest of the time which gives be sine comfort lol

OP posts:

RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 19:39

Peanut I think you're onto a winner. 2 hours is amazing!

Btw what pram do you have that broke? I am interested in prams so would be keen to know what the issues are and if I can help.

Sparkling, tinkly is right. It's no improvement this time round. Rock a bye baby alternated with Fur Elise and something else. with the wrong harmonies.

Original poster

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 20:05

Hopefully, she did that all the time at first but now its unusual for her to even sit in it without screaming so I'm quite pleased :o

I bought a second hand Babystyle Lux when i was pregnant because we were trying to save as much as possible, the suspension (stupid little black plastic bits that flap about) collapsed when i put her in it yesterday to do the school run so i took the carrycot off to check the chassis and the holding bracket came off with it, snapped rivets and all!

Needless to say the carrycot and seat are looking for a new home and the frame has found is way to the dump. I've splurged now and a shiny new Mutsy 4Rider should be here on Tuesday :o

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