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what the hell do i do with a baby who won't be put down

37 replies

peanutMD · 16/05/2013 10:05

and hates the sling?

DD is 10 weeks and currently screaming the place down whenever i put her down, she will do this until she gets picked up.

i don't like leaving her screaming fir more than 15 minutes as she gets into such a state, she will only sleep in me and wakes the second i move and she hates the sling just pushes herself away from me.

i have a 6 year old who needs me too and stuff to do in the house but can't get anything done!

What the hell an i supposed to do with her its really wearing me down!

OP posts:
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RooneyMara · 16/05/2013 20:14

Ooh! I have got one of those - very nice Smile Sorry to hear about the babystyle, have you got any recourse to the seller still or is it too long ago? Sounds quite dangerous. I'm glad dd is Ok though.

Kafri · 16/05/2013 21:45

oh the memories!

for the first 12 weeks of ds life, dh amd I literally did shifts with him. he also had awful reflux along with his screamy/colicky tantrums and tummy troubles so had it from all angles bless him

anyway - hes 5m now and is much much calmer apart from today it seems.

he's still, er, high maintenance. I have to be on him ALL the time keeping him on the right side of happy and he whines a lot but not screaming like he did in those early days.

I had a book recommended to me BABY BLISS by HARVEY KARP. in fact, a very lovely MNer sent it to me and it made me see ds differently - Google Harvey Karp and see what you think.

well, none of that essay helps you get anything done around dc and I have said many a time that im not sure how id cope in a couple of years if we have another who's as hard work and time consuming as ds???

id guess - as a pp said - do littke bits as and when. are u bf? that might be a time you could do something with other dc as well? I have friends with newborns who feed them while playing with toddler.

other than that - er, it won't last forever. helpful, aren't I? Grin

MiaowTheCat · 17/05/2013 10:17

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cakesonatrain · 18/05/2013 08:23

If she screams when you're off having a shower etc, then just take her with you.
Weekdays I shower with an audience of one toddler and one baby (in bouncy chair). If you're hanging washing out, take her out with you. Makes everything a bit more faffy as you have multiple trips with baby in bouncy chair, but stops the screaming.
Only works if your baby likes the bouncy chair, I suppose.

cakesonatrain · 18/05/2013 08:25

...or take her with you and lie her on a blanket (indoors)?

cakesonatrain · 18/05/2013 08:27

Sorry, just reread the not liking being put down bit!

Kafri · 18/05/2013 09:48

Sorry I forgot to put this in my original post...

If your family (can't remember which member you said, sorry) are adamant it's cos you're breastfeeding just tell them

'You can't spoil a newborn, they don't understand enough to be able to manipulate you. All they have known is being attached to you and rocked about as you got on with stuff while pg and some babies have more trouble adjusting to life outside and unattached'

i'm damned sure if someone picked me up and plonked me down in a completely different environment i'd have trouble readjusting and i'm 29! Grin

Hemlet · 19/05/2013 18:13

I have to say that white noise is a life saver for me. I downloaded it onto my phone and play it on a fairly low volume. It does the trick almost every time -worth a try? :-)

Hemlet · 19/05/2013 18:14

My boy is 10 weeks old too :-)

Kafri · 19/05/2013 20:21

White noise here too! DS now 5m and still sleeps with white noise. We figured out quite early on that the hoover soothed him a little so went with it. Downloaded an app to iPad/DH's iPhone/my phone and he sleeps with that going the whole time.
During naptimes, if I turn the app off, he's awake within minutes!

MamaBear17 · 19/05/2013 21:18

Have you tried swaddling? I found it really helped me with my DD when she was tiny. She would not be put down but swaddling helped to extend her sleep times (as in, swaddle, let her fall to sleep on me and then lay her down in her carrycot or moses basket). I also found placing her on her side with a rolled up blanket behind her helped too. My dd had colic and cried a lot. Most of the time I just held her because it was all I could do, but for times when I needed to shower or eat the swaddle helped. BF has nothing to do with a baby being 'clingy'. I had primary lactation failure so had to bottlefeed after bf failed and she was still clingy. It is a newborns survival instinct to try and keep its mother close. Your baby is just doing what comes natural. The best piece of advice I was given during the hell that was colic was this: The more cuddles a baby has in the first 6 months of its life, the more emotionally secure the baby will grow up to be. Sure enough, I have a confident, outgoing and happy 21 month old who is happy to be left in the company of pretty much anyone. In fact, I was reminded of this yesterday when my mum babysat for a few hours so that hubby and I could go to the cinema. I took her to my mums house, bent down and explained to her that we were going and she was staying with nanny and she looked at me and said 'Bye mummy, DD stay nanny now'. Then fetched my car keys and handed them to me when I didn't leave quickly enough! Enjoy your cuddles now, it will pass quickly x

Chickpeas2 · 19/05/2013 21:35

Hi op, just wondered if you'd considered whether your DD may have an underlying medical issue. Simply because my DC2 was as you described and it turned out to be largely down to silent reflux which once treated (osteopath had most success) changed her instantly to a baby who could settle for longer than 20 minutes if we were careful to keep her upright etc. I don't mean to worry you, just to make a suggestion as I kept blaming myself for being unable to stop the crying etc and although I sort of felt I knew something wasn't right I didn't act on it for the first few weeks which I feel terrible about now. Anyway you've had some good ideas above and I hope things improve for you soon.

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