The lies we tell our children...

[Flamesparrow]

"You have to have both sides of your hair tied up because otherwise you will be unbalanced and fall over lots"

"The ice cream van makes that pretty tune when it's run out of ice-cream"

[after ds has chewed off the toothpaste] Now I have to brush your teeth a bit - it's the law'

Eat all of your crusts off your sandwich...they're the best bit!!

worked on dd1 anyway

I haven't as yet told any lies to DS as he's only 17 months. Am cooking up some for the future though.

My dad told me that spaghetti grows on trees at Spagetti Junction. I believed him for years, and was always really disappointed that every time we drove through it, I didn't see any of the trees in question.

DP told his DSD that baloon sellers have to wear special lead shoes to stop them floating away.

That we can't afford a monster or a ghost as they are ever so very expensive, so there are definately no monsters or ghosts in our house !

Is this a lie or just weird mother logic, I don't know how much they cost as I've never seen them for sale in Sainsbury's.

That the computer is broken again and daddy will fix it at the weekend so ds can play on it.

That's definately a lie.

I Love the "we can't afford a monster or a ghost .." I must try it next time

Do you think "monsters don't go near children who eat brocoli" would work ? [hopeful smiley]

Normsnockers: we use that exact same line here about monsters/ghosts If you say "there is no such thing" ds1 doesn't believe me, if you say that we can't afford them he swallows it hook, line and sinker! Perhaps he's just got used to the "too expensive" phrase for other things

Georgina, I knwo what you mean, ds wouldn't believe that they don't exist as otherwise why would he have books with them in.

I try and bring it down to a level that he understands.

Oh and I have lied so many times about the chip shop (McDonalds) being shut when he asked to have chips when I picked him up from nursery that he now tells me that the chip shop is shut and we can't have any chips tonight.
He was amazed when daddy took him there recently and it was actually open !

I remember telling DS1 that if he ate his carrots he would be able to see in the dark.
It worked, as he ate every last one, but after dinner he shut himself in a dark cupboard & then shouted out "It is not working, Mummy!"
He was 4 at the time & hasn't bothered much with his carrots since!

I told ds that the ppfffttt noise was mummy burping.

Did you know - and this is a fact - Monsters/dinosaurs/creepy things can't actually go upstairs and therefore are NOT and Never will be in DD's bedroom - This is because like Haggis they have two short legs and two long legs and if they try to climb stairs they fall over.

Also in Sainsbury's just before Christmas DD was bored at the checkout and was playing with the springy tape thing they pull over when a till is closed. I told her that the man who is filming - pointing to the camera (actually a speaker) in the ceiling forwards the tapes of naughty boys and girls on to Father Christmas, the Tooth Fairy and Grandma's as they are all on the same network! Bloke in the next aisle was pi**ing himself!

Bran, I told ds that noise was the cat parping (farting) !

God I'm such a prolific liar !

Whenever Mummy gets a big brave man in to remove the HUGE spider that regularly visits our room, it is because the spider asked to go and see his mummy and not because Mummy is a big chickiny wuss

(mind you if that is the "baby" spider I do not want to meet the mummy!)

I used to be told by my gran..
'eat all the crusts it'll make your hair curl'
my male cousin with cork screw curly hair that he hated was told 'eat all the crusts it'll straighten your hair' ..lol

my little sister was terrified of the moon..until my mum told her it was the 'power rangers' magic beam to help her see in the dark

lol...also...my mum once said
'oh you've got to learn to shut the door when you come in from the garden..theres a draught coming through'
which i heard as a
'giraffe coming through'
and was worried by..
i always closed doorsbehind me after thatone!

I love blueteddy's carrot story

yeahinaminute: what a GREAT idea about the camera ... I'm so going to use that one...

the witch hanging from the ceiling in the soft play centre is real and will come down if you are naughty

the 30p rides int he shopping center never work

hehe kelly..

my aunt keeps foreign coins in her purse that she can give to her toddler for those things and feigns ignorance when they dont work...

'If you poke at the hedge with that stick, lots of bees might fly out and sting you'

p.s. My three year old doesn't even realise those things in shopping centres actually do anything!

my dd1 seems to be under the impression that the tune f the ice ceram van is church bells ringing
I honestly don't remember telling her this... but I haven't disabused her either

"The dentist just wants to count your teeth!"

Beer makes mummy VERY clever